Hubby was laughing out loud at the TV last night. He was watching a Just For Laughs show on The Comedy Channel. I went in to see what was so funny. I missed the comic, but Hubby paraphrased on his behalf. And now I will paraphrase a second time.

It was all about the true colours of your loved ones as they emerge during sleep. This comic said that if you want to know whether you can sustain a good, solid relationship, make sure you sleep in the same bed first. And in this case it is not for the you-know-what. It is to really see what kind of person your future partner will be- in a sleeping state. Because no one cares or is conscious of what they look like while they are sleeping. You are who you truly are. He went on to say that he knew he could be with his wife forever because during their sleepovers, she was an angel when she fell asleep; so calm, beautiful, and peaceful. But in the middle of the night when she was in the middle of her REM cycle she became a walrus. Her mouth would hang open and she would snore. Loudly. He found it in himself to look beyond the walrus. He probably just dabbed the drool from the side of her mouth and rolled her over so she could sleep soundly and not in a pool of her own saliva.

In our house, Hubby has looked beyond my dorky sleeping habits as well. We are in it for the long haul. Apparently I do 'the chicken dance' in my sleep. This is where I put my hand on my head while I am sleeping on my side. And it looks like a chicken wing. I have no idea why I do this, but I guess it's comfortable. I also do the walrus sometimes and when I was pregnant, I was a VIA locomotive. And look- we are still strongly intact.

Hubby has the heat barrier. He likes the sheets cold. He coffins himself between 3 pillows. He has a pillow barricade around him, protecting him from the loving warmth of his wife, and also from her unshaven legs. He has been like this since we met. Even before we had our first sleepover. He rolls from one cold pillow to the other. The bottom line here is a) it isn't an issue, and b) there is never any cuddling action. Ever. That would make the human furnace overheat. We wouldn't want that.

Even the Wee Ladies sleep in funny positions. Both The Destroyer and Spark Plug sleep with their bottoms up. Their faces are planted into their pillows and their bums stick straight up. How this can be remotely comfortable is beyond me.

EvieG is a walrus too and sleeps on her back. She sleeps so still that her hair is one big frizzball every morning. She sleeps with her stuffed animals piled underneath her. I also can't figure out how this is very cozy.

The Wee Ladies always manage to sleep in weird places within their beds. At the bottom of the bed, across the top, on top of the covers, and even on the floor sometimes. I went into EvieG's room over the weekend and found that she had set up camp in her closet. She had her pillow and The Destroyer's quilt, and her books. She said it was her camp out. The Destroyer was missing her blanket, but that didn't seem to matter because we didn't hear a sound from her. Both The Destroyer and Spark Plug seem to sleep without blankets quite often. Sometimes they cry out when they get cold. I don't know how they can sleep for so long without covers!

I am not a fan of sleepovers with the Wee Ladies because of their positioning. They kick, poke, and jab. Like the BAM! and ZONK! and POW! from Batman and Robin, you can see me cringe and clench as I receive each blow throughout the night. But I still do it. And I still love them, even though they hurt me. In the kidney.

Watching them sleep in the car is hilarious. They look like they have had one too many cocktails as their heads swing from side to side, their mouths hang open, and you can see the drool dripping from their chins onto their coats. They even snore.

If this is indeed a look into the true colours of your loved ones, then this is what I see in the future for The Wee Ladies- a girl with one hand on her head, elbow pointing into the air, pillows all around her, blankets on the floor, drool collecting on the mattress, as she kicks her legs while grunting just like our Wee Westie Basil.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Family, Fun, Hubby

I was going to blog about hot chocolate today, but then something more exciting came along! I got asked to take some new products for a test drive.

At this point, I will only say that I am going to receive a basket of house stuff in the near future. Stuff to try and then talk about. I am excited to be getting mommy swag. It will be like a Christmas gift showing up at the door.

I will open the door and say to the delivery person, "What? A package for me? I wonder what it could be? No one ever sends me packages!" I will sign and accept. And then I will fiercely rip apart the box, and remove each item, sniffing it as I check it out.

It is not only about the swag. The swag is fun and I look forward to playing with new stuff that hasn't hit the shelves yet.

What will be equally exciting is playing with the bubble wrap. The Wee Ladies and I will have hours of fun with the bubble wrap. We can pop it with our fingers, wrap ourselves in it and then play Crash Up Derby, and we can roll around in it. The options are endless.

I will keep you posted about my first swag basket. This is going to be fun.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Fun

Madge and her followers tell us that Palmolive gives us soft hands while we do dishes. Click here to watch them. I would like to tell everyone that I have them figured out.

My hands are not perfectly manicured and soft like they show us in the commercial. In fact, the opposite is true. Take a look-

Here we see dish-pan hands at their finest. The nails are split, uneven, brittle. My skin is dry, chapped, and chafing. And I am in my Palmolive filled sink several times a day. Mine are not like the French-manicured hand models.

I even use the new Pure and Clear, Sparkling Fresh Ultra Palmolive dish soap! The phosphate free soap that contains no unnecessary chemicals, no heavy fragrances, non-irritating dyes, and biodegradable cleaning ingredients. If anything, you would think that this natural soap would be the stuff to keep my hands soft and beautiful.

Every time I put my hands in another full sink of soap and sippy cups, I can feel the moisture being sucked right out. They itch, burn, and have lost all suppleness. They are like sandpaper. I can see my fingers wrinkling and it's not the water-raisin syndrome either. My nails chip on the princess dishes, break off, and then scratch the Wee Ladies every time I help them get dressed, brush their teeth and hair, or put on their coats. They are constantly complaining that I poke and scratch them. "Owwww! Mom, you scratched me!" and "Mom! You poked me in the cheek! That hurt!" and "Ouch, Mom! Cut your nails!"

I do put moisturizer on occasionally, but it gets soaked up in milli-seconds, like water gets sucked up instantly in desert stricken soil. My hands look like caked, cracked mud.

And so I call the bluff of the ladies who "soak in it." And I know Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham, has learned their tricks too.

They all soak in moisturizer at night. With gloves covering and protecting their ten lovely, long, wrinkle-free, baby soft fingers.

As written at FemaleFirst, "Victoria Beckham has finally revealed her secret to looking good... she wears socks and gloves in bed to keep her skin looking young.

Posh covers her hands and feet with moisturising cream every night and then puts white cotton gloves and thick socks, as part of her bedtime ritual.

The former Spice girl said: "I put really thick foot lotion on with socks before I go to sleep. I also use thick hand cream with gloves at the same time."

I wonder what David Beckham thinks about his wife lying beside him slathered in cream? It could go either way.

Maybe I should take a trip to Shopper's Drug Mart, buy myself a pair of white cotton gloves, and go for the Extra Strength Gold Bond.

I know I would be encouraged by Madge to have a skin care routine for my hands. The three steps to good skin is to cleanse, moisturize, and protect. I have part one down perfectly. Step two is inconsistent. Step 3 is non-existent as I don't use a sunscreen on my hands everyday. It would all just get washed off in the Palmolive anyway.

I have work to do. I just figured that my hands would stay soft because that is what they tell us Palmolive dish soap will do, but also since my hands are immersed in water, doesn't osmosis play a role here?

Maybe it is not the Palmolive entirely. Maybe it is partly dehydration, vitamin-depletion, and over-caffeination to blame. I need to accept more responsibility. I can't rely solely on dish soap to keep my hands in an ultimate state of gorgeousness...it would be nice if they could even come close to being presentable.

I will listen to Mrs. Leatherface who demands I give her a drink. And maybe a few drinks a day will make her feel a whole lot better.

It's worth a shot.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a fun weekend and I will be back on Monday with more tales...or woes. Which ever way you want to look at it.

Labels: DDM, Fun

I saw it with my own two eyes last night. EvieG was officially inducted into her Sparks unit and is now a proud member of the Girl Guides of Canada. She held up her left by mistake and then properly held her right hand up and made her Sparks promise- I promise to share and be a friend. And she got 2 badges to go onto her pink sash....yes, the pink sash that goes with the pink uniform, that I insist on sewing on myself, even though they are iron on.

Before the ceremony, we had a chance to look through her scrapbook. It was full of pictures and drawings of her time in Sparks so far. We admired her All About Me poster. And then I sat down in the front row, tall and proud, beside the campfire. Be careful not to trip over the cord.


They sang their welcome song in a circle as they held hands and listened to a story about becoming a Spark. Then the induction began. Each girl lined up behind the rainbow slide. Each girl was showered in silver sparkles and then sent to slide down the rainbow to the world of real Sparks.

Just a reminder to be careful not to trip over the campfire cord.

Once they were over the rainbow, each girl was asked if she in fact wished to be a part of the Sparks group. Upon verbal agreement, much like signing a contract, they signed the deal by declaring the Sparks' promise for all to hear.
We, the witnesses, clapped. They each received their badges and a certificate; the official document bonding each girl to this group.

They sang a song of celebration to us witnesses and we ended the ceremony with snacks. One might assume that we would have a reception that included Girl Guide cookies. But no, it was something else. Something I haven't had in years. Something that made me feel like I was a Brownie all over again. Something that in my view is an inherent part of childhood.

Wafer cookies and-

strawberry Kool Aid, served out of the-
vintage Coleman spout thermos.

I was in retro heaven. I was over the rainbow myself. I was in my comfort zone. Happy that I could reconnect with my past and thrilled that EvieG could experience this too.

What is even more symbolic, Kool Aid aside, is that the very church basement where EvieG entered the world of Sparks, is the very same room where Hubby and I first met when we attended Tiny Tots nursery school together way back in 1979. We were 4. Obviously I don't remember him, but do have a vague memory of some guy stealing my Play-Doh.

EvieG was great. She was proud and stood strong. She was the last to go over the rainbow. She stood in line patiently, but you could see that she was bursting at the seams, waiting for her turn to get doused with sparkles by her leader Rainbow. Her other leader, Sparkle, waited for her at the end of the rainbow to welcome her into this new family. She declared her promise, with a big smile on her face, and Sparkle had to correct her by putting her left hand down, and having her raise her right hand. I was proud of her. She is ecstatic to have two new badges.

I guess I better get out and buy a sewing kit. Because there is no ironing action happening here. I am going to do it all old school. I just need to pick put some hot pink thread and we will be good to go.

EvieG is participating in a cookie blitz on Friday. She will be doing her community service. She will be standing with the other Sparks outside the grocery store selling off any remaining Girl Guide cookies. She is scheduled to be there for 45 minutes.

I will for sure have to wait in the van.

I give it 15 minutes max before she gets bored and starts wandering around the entrance of the store.

Last thing we need is a, "Clean up in aisle 7," because the pickle display was accidentally knocked over.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: EvieG

It has been a week and a half since the time change. We put the clocks back an hour the night of November 1st. Anyone who tells a mom that she gets an extra hour of sleep is lying. Time changes do not allow any more sleep. The time changes are just another something else that screws up the sleeping patterns of little kids. The Wee Ladies are still confused. We live in the Eastern Standard Time Zone, but it feels like we are starting our days in the Atlantic Time Zone along with all the Maritimers.

The Wee Ladies usually start and end the days on the 7. They get going at 7:00 am and end at 19:00 hours. They are ending the day at the same time as before, but we have been rising to the noises of Spark Plug and The Destroyer around 6:00 am. And it is killing me.

For a while there, I was getting a solid, uninterrupted sleep. But now, it seems the Wee Ladies are up throughout the night and then for the day waaaayy too early for my liking.

Spark Plug usually has to let us know she is still here around 3:00 am. Either she is cold, she falls onto the floor from her bed, or she has a bad dream. EvieG is wandering down the hall most nights once or twice, and usually because she has had a nightmare of some kind. She fell out of bed 2 nights ago for the first time. The Destroyer sleeps like a rock until she starts chirping at 6:00 am.

I feel like I have infants all over again. I do not do well with the whole lack of sleep thing.

Where is Hubby in all of this? Good question. I have no good answer for you either. He is a terrible sleeper and I usually just let him sleep. I know. He's got me so snowed.

I don't get the Wee Ladies up and going at dawn. I let them hang out in their beds, or sometimes Spark Plug comes into bed with us for a cuddle. For someone who can be so prickly, she is really cuddly in the morning.

I lay in bed as long as I can. I am not ready to take on the day when it is still dark. Morning dark and I are not good friends. Once I can see the light sky, I can justify getting up and going.

Actually, that is not entirely true. In the summer I don't get up at the crack of 5:00 am when the sun is beaming through our window. I just put my head under my pillow and whine, "Just 5 more minutes! Are the kids awake yet? I am ignoring them, just for a little while longer."

I just have to pretend that I am living in the Central or Mountain Time Zones. Should I even think about the possibilities of Pacific Time?

Oh, the possibilities.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM

This is what I found today on the back of EvieG's car seat:

A crusty, discoloured luggage tag from our trip to Florida to see Grandma and Grandpa. In December, 2006. Or is it from our trip in 2005? I can't remember which one, it was so long ago.

Here is what I think about this-

a) I haven't taken it off because I want to think we are world travelers.
b) It makes us look like we are world travelers. Just like when you leave the ski tag on the zipper of your coat pocket for months and months, so that when people see it, they think that you are a world traveler, only you ski your way through the world. You end up leaving it on your coat pocket for years and use the same tag for your ski passes, so they pile up one on top of the other, and so it definitely makes you look like a world traveler.
c) I have procrastinated for so long, that I figure now that tag deserves to be a part of the car seat.
d) I am a slacker, but still a wannabe world traveler.
e) All of the above.

We haven't been on a plane since December, 2006. We haven't traveled anywhere since then, well, except for Northern Ontario.

It is a distant memory, but one I choose to remember just like it was yesterday. I wish we could travel more.

On second thought, after this past weekend, am I nuts? I can't even imagine taking the Wee Ladies on a plane. I think I will wait.

And I will wait to cut the luggage tag off too. It's already been 2 years. What's 2 more? I will just insist the luggage handlers put the next tag over top of this one. It will be a makeshift passport. A collection of our world travels.

We will get to the check-in counter and they will attempt to put the new tag over the old one and it will disintegrate and crumble in their fingers because at that point it will be so old. Because we never go anywhere. Traveling+little kids=stay home.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Fun

After a weekend of traveling with the Wee Ladies, I have tallied:

2 10 packs of Timbits consumed
3 games of I Spy played
1 Tim Horton's coffee with double cream
2 Skinny Mocha Lattes from Starbucks
1 McDonalds meal
3 boxes of Kleenex for EvieG because she doesn't know how to use just one at a time and we could have had a bonfire with all the paper and goobers

We went to start our search for a place to live in our new town. It is a 4 hour drive between here and there. It went fine. We haven't found anything and need to keep looking. We had fun although it does not go without some crazy moments when there are 3 Wee Ladies in a van for that long.

We have a DVD player that comes out on trips that last more than an hour. We even went to rent some DVD's from Blockbuster for the occasion. We were also told that there was a DVD player in our condo unit.

We were running late on Friday as Hubby took EvieG to the clinic to get her chest checked. She has a wicked cough and cold. By the time we hit the road we were 40 minutes behind and Hubby had to get to his new office to meet his new colleagues. Once we threw everything in the van, we set off. But before we left, I noticed that the DVD was without its power cord. Crap. We couldn't possibly make the 4 hour drive without movies. What did people do before in-car theatre? We couldn't find it and so went without. The kids were fine. They played, slept, coloured, played I Spy....They made it through rather well.

By the time we reached the office, it was like the demons were freed from the confines of hell. They were WILD. Running around, screeching, and climbing on really nice, expensive leather furniture, desks, chairs, and even trying to play with the computer keyboards. I was so proud... They sent us to the boardroom and shut the door. They had a TV in there and put on kids programming. They were very gracious and understanding, but I was anxious and sweating, and even more anxious because I thought I smelled. I was hot. I was flushed. I felt badly for the Wee Ladies as I tried to control them.

We had a condo with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and a kitchen. We ate out once and stayed in the rest of the time. I had packed lots of food and snacks, so we were more than okay. It worked out pretty well, but come the time to put in a movie, there was no DVD player. They told me there would be a DVD player. Crap. There was a remote, but no machine. Just 2 old VCR players and old TVs. The buttons were sticking and made it difficult to find something to watch. I did stay up to finish watching Two Weeks Notice starring Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock.

The stuff that we managed to pile into the van is astonishing really. I think our realty agent was flabbergasted by all the crap as she tried to entertain the Wee Ladies in the van as Hubby and I ran through a few places. Playpens, bed rails, food and drink, bags of clothes, toys, markers and colouring books, garbage, stuffed animals, towels and blankets, double strollers, and a case of beer. The van was overflowing. It took a special trip into town just to get rid of the Kleenexes and garbage.

The ride home was more trying. The girls were more edgy and irritable on the trip home. We tried to keep them occupied and were ecstatic when they fell asleep. And then Hubby had to go and stop to use the bathroom. As soon as the van slowed down, we were greeted with wailing.

We have to stop a few times while on the road. We need to stop for bathroom breaks and just to let the Wee Ladies stretch their legs a bit. I think that Hubby and I go to the bathroom more than EvieG does. She has a bladder like a camel. I ask and ask if she needs the washroom. She always replies with a no and continues with her colouring.

The Destroyer was next to EvieG and kept passing gas. She found that she would get a rise out of her sisters when she did her thing. And so she kept pushing. Trying to get it all out to continue the laughter. When there was no more left, EvieG leaned over and pulled her finger, hoping that there was a little more to release.

The Destroyer is all about gas. It comes out both ends constantly, much to her sisters' amusement. When it came to her turn in I Spy, EvieG would preface with the whole, I Spy, with my little eye, something that is......and she would get a gassy response. The Destroyer put her lips together and made noises much like her lower end. Her sisters roared with laughter. They also blamed any odd smell on her too.

I thought I taught better manners than that.

I am just happy that it hasn't been a part of the dinner entertainment yet. I know that in due time The Destroyer will captivate her audience at the table.

And give her the opportunity, she might even try it at a restaurant.

We'll just blame it on the fast food.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Thanks a bunch to Nenny With Twins who posted on my behalf on Friday! I love you! You are the best!

Labels: Family