Are they talking about me? What are they saying about us? I dread the days that I have to take the Wee Ladies to places other than the grocery store or Wal*Mart. Those places have carts designated to restrain two kids and the other(s) can sit in the cart (yes, I do that) or walk with you. Physically these stores have a huge space where other families are roaming around and other kids are going haywire alongside mine. No one is judging me.

It is the other places like offices and banks of any kind where the professionals are diligently working and most often it is quietly. Enter the Wee Ladies. Prior the stepping foot into the place of business I tell the wee ladies, "Now we are going into the office. People are working and need it quiet. Please mind your manners and stay with me. Don't be wandering off or run around because you don't want to be rude. Do you understand?" I get a firm "Yes, Mommy," in return- always. And it ALWAYS goes awry.

Take for instance today's episode. I had to go into the lawyer's office to sign some papers (and yes, my marriage is still strongly intact). I went through my spiel before getting the Wee Ladies out of the van. There was a good understanding. Or so I thought. We were greeted and then sent into the conference room. Once in the room, the baby demons were released. Climbing on the chairs, looking out the window, running around the table and shouting. While I was trying to have a professional adult conversation I was constantly giving the ladies the laser eye beam stare-down and with my frozen smile and gritted teeth I would say, "Girls settle down please." It took everything I had not to 'let my freak flag fly' as another Mommy I know with three girls would say.

Eventually, the wee ladies exited the conference room and proceeded to run laps around the office, clearly disturbing every working individual in the building. I was mortified. The people in the office were staring at them and then over to me. With pursed lips they would giggle slightly....ha, ha, ha. I apologized profusely, they reassured me that it was okay. "This is exciting for us here! They are so cute! You have your hands full. Don't worry about it!" TRANSLATION: " How can she let them run around like a bunch of maniacs? What a bunch of brats. I can't wait until they leave." Let the judging of your mothering abilities begin.

I try so hard to make sure my Wee Ladies are polite and courteous when in public. The bottom line is that they get excited when they go to new places and meet new people. They want to check out the place and explore a little. I hate feeling like I am being judged by others when I take them out to places where they can get a little out of control. And it's not only places of business, but it can be other Moms who judge you too, and sometimes they are even worse, which is really annoying. But that is a topic for another day. And I will write about that....

All we can do is our best. People always judge and people are always going to be critical. That is just the way it is. I still can't help but feel defensive when I feel as if the Wee Ladies or I are being judged. It is not a nice feeling. The Wee Ladies are developing good manners and I know that they will learn to use them during the appropriate time.....eventually. But for now, I will continue to take each situation as it is and go with it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Guilt