Taking 3 Wee Ladies out anywhere is a risk. Taking them all to the library? Well, not so smart. I don't know why I thought that this would be a good 'outing.' The stress I just voluntarily walked myself into is like seeing the police speed trap ahead, only realizing that it is too late to slow down. The stress of the ticket and fine could have been avoided. Just like the trip to the library could have been avoided.

I knew the risk involved possible chaos. The library is a place of silence, order, and books. It is also a public place. I had potential disaster on multiple fronts. But I had rationale.

EvieG is independent enough to take care of herself. Spark Plug can follow simple directions. And I could hold The Destroyer. It would work out just fine. I didn't think we would 100% glitch-free, but I thought we could stay long enough to pick books and maybe do a craft without being tossed out onto the street by Security. We stayed for about 14 minutes (I know this based on my parking meter calculations). And we were one-hand-on-the-scruff-of-the-neck away from meeting the sidewalk.

The reason for this trip was because EvieG wanted to get her own library card. I am glad to see Arthur teaches something substantial. I thought, 'Wow! She is asking for her own card! Good for her!' I was all over it, like the good Personal Assistant that I am. She also has this deep fear of skunks. And really for no reason. It came out of nowhere. So I thought we would make her feel better by getting some non-fiction books about skunks in order for her to learn more about them. I strapped the Wee Ladies in The Guzzler and off we went.

We entered the library very well. We were quiet and stayed together. Once we entered the Kid's Room, the demons were unleashed. EvieG requested her card. The librarian looked at me and said, "Do you have a license or some ID?" She looked at my face whose expression read, 'Lady, are you nuts? Look at me! My bicep is already screaming because I am holding this lug-of-a-kid, I am trying to keep track of the toddler who is playing with the scissors at the craft table, and my 5 year old has proceeded to pick out an assortment of reading material to check out using HER NEW CARD! Do I look like a woman who has the third arm to carry her friggin' ID? Huh? DO I?' And then she rephrased, "Do you have your library card?" To which I said, "Yes, I do. And all of the information on there is the same." Poof! EvieG's library card was ready.

I put The Destroyer down because my bicep couldn't take any more. It had started spasming. Immediately she started running up and down the aisles of books, laughing and squealing, occasionally stopping to toss a few on the floor. As I was chasing her, Spark Plug decided to get in on this chase game and was running around too, making just as much noise. EvieG had sat herself at the craft table and began to colour. As I ran by, I asked her if she had asked the librarian for books on skunks. She and the librarian went to get her books.

Upon her return to the craft table another mom and her daughter had seated themselves. And in the chair EvieG had been sitting in. She went up to them and said, "Hey, that's my seat!" Time stopped right there. My eyes widened. My jaw dropped. My kid polite, easy going, 5 year old was lipping off to some nice mom and her cute little daughter. Oh my god. I said, "That's ok. You were off getting books and they can sit there if they want". She replied with, "But I was sitting there!" To which the mom said, "That's all right. We can move!" I jumped in with, "No, no, no. She can find another seat." The mom was adamant. "No, we will move over here." And they moved to the other side of the table. I pulled EvieG aside and tactfully scolded her. I hissed, "You apologize for being rude. You never speak to people like that! This is not your chair. It belongs to the library and you left it to go and find books." She felt badly. She then pleaded, "No! I don't want to say anything because I'm shy!" I told her, "You go and say sorry for being rude." So she did. And the mom thanked her. She was probably thinking, 'What a lippy, little girl!' That was what I was thinking and I'm her mother.

Spark Plug was playing with a puzzle. I found The Destroyer taking the DVD's off the rack. I scooped her up and noticed the stench coming from her bottom region. No diaper bag. Nothing extra. That was it. I had had enough and told EvieG to check out her books. We were done there. Time to go. I couldn't take anymore.

I swiped the craft from the craft table so we could do it at home. I gathered up the troops and exited the building quickly. Before Security could get a hold of me. I got them into the The Guzzler and let a sigh of relief. I saw there were 16 minutes left on the parking meter. I thought to myself, 'Well, we just reached our library quota for the month. That was 14 minutes too long.'

With the Wee Ladies, the library was temporarily altered. The silence was screeched out of the water. The order became messy. The books were pulled from the shelves and placed randomly throughout the room. And the public were there to witness this alteration.

I wonder what would happen if I took them somewhere like Home Depot? Would they try and play with the power tools? Would they play house in the mock-up kitchens? Would they get up on the counter and try to brush their teeth in the sink? Would they try and use the toilets? Should I dare?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, DDM, Family