The Destroyer is doing her best to talk. And she babbles all day long. You can get the gist of what she is saying, but there is one word. One word for everything. Yes. The word is yes. Only it is pronounced, Y-E-TH-s. She enunciates quite well too.

We have come to know EvieG a little better with this new talking business. It has become EvieG's favourite pastime to ask The Destroyer lots of questions. Questions she already knows the answers to. And she plans her questioning.

E: Is EvieG the best kid in the whole wide world?

TheD: Y-e-th-s.

E: Is EvieG the smartest kid in the whole wide world?

TheD: Y-e-th-s.

E: Do you like beer?

TheD: Y-e-th-s!

E: Do you like Kraft Dinner and pizza?

TheD: Y-e-th-s!

E: Do you like drinking?

TheD: Y-e-th-s!

E: Is EvieG the bestest kid in the whole world?

TheD: Y-eth-s!

Over and over again. And as each question was answered, loud laughter erupted around the table.

What's with the whole alcohol and processed food business?

I guess I know what her preferences are. And I guess I better stay on top of her future relationship with beer.

I also have to watch she doesn't manipulate future skirmishes with Spark Plug and get The Destroyer covering up for her.

Politics or law for EvieG?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: EvieG, Family, Fun, The Destroyer

EvieG loves to play with jewelery. And she even has a few pieces of her own, both play and real. When she was 3 months old, she got a couple necklaces and a bracelet after she was baptized. I kept them put away, but recently she discovered them and brought them out to admire.

I let her handle the necklaces for a while. I was aware she was doing this. I kept my eye on their whereabouts. But then I forgot. Hey, I can't do everything.

I was doing my daily damage control. I was vacuuming the kitchen and living room floors. When doing damage control, I am not only vacuuming, but I am watching the Wee Ladies at the same time. I am ensuring their safety first. I constantly scan for choking hazards that are strewn across the rooms. And I pick them up. Except this once. It happened so fast.

I took the vacuum to the area mat by the back door. It is a sage and cream. Things easily camouflage in this mat. As I was giving it a quick once-over, all I saw was something shiny and gold. And I heard the clinging of something metal make its way through the long tube that ends in the garage. Crap. Could it have been?

I ran upstairs to check the chest of drawers where the baptismal jewelry was stored. Empty. I found the wee bracelet on the book shelf. No necklace.

It was a gold necklace with a tiny little cross on it. It was dainty and pretty. It was a keepsake. I can't even remember who gave it to her. Because I know for sure it wasn't us. We haven't even really been to church since the baptism 5 years ago. The other 2 Wee Ladies have not been baptized.

Knowing the cross necklace is sitting in a bin of dust, hair, and Cheerios got me thinking. I felt myself in a bit of a moral dilemma with this one. We are not very religious people, but we are not atheist either. I am a self-proclaimed agnostic, even though I grew up with some religion.

Do I take the bin apart, take the bag out, cut it open, and search through the dirt to retrieve the necklace? Or do I leave it there and pretend like it never happened? Will I be struck by lightening if I don't find it? Will I be struck by lightening because I am even debating my course of action? If I choose not to get the symbol of Christ, does that make me immoral? Or just a crazy young person rebelling against God?

So far, the necklace remains among the filth. The bag is not full yet. But when it is, I think I will take a quick peek without immersing my hands into the leftovers. If I see it when I give the bag a little shake like you do when looking for a prize in a Cracker Jacks box, then I will get it out. If it becomes too much of a dirty job, then I will move on.

I guess I can always run down to Charmed in the mall and see if I can replace it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Guilt, Responsibility

It is 4:15 pm. DDM looks up at the clock. Crap. She has been so immersed in cleaning out the toy cupboard squalor that she has not even thought about feeding her family dinner.

She dials Hubby's work number and bothers him for the 4th time that day.

Hubby: Dominion Securities.

DDM: Hey.

Hubby: It's you. Again. (Pause)

DDM: Are you there?

Hubby: Ya. I'm just leaning over to my Mom's Phone Calls Tally Sheet to mark down another phone call from you. This is 4 today and...just a second.....11 so far this week. And the day is not over yet.

DDM: You are funny. I am crying I am laughing so hard.

Hubby: What do you want now?

DDM: I love you....

Hubby: Which means you want something.

DDM: No it doesn't! Just the occasional time when I find myself in a bind. I just realized that it's quarter after 4 and I have nothing for dinner.

Hubby: Again?

DDM: Yep. I guess another day just got away from me. I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer. And when I forget to take the meat out of the freezer, the rest of dinner just doesn't come together. It requires a little more thinking and planning. I can't pull it all together at the last minute like this.

Hubby: So I am cooking again today? That's ok (sigh). I will just do everything. Don't worry.

DDM: Could you pick up....

Hubby: (jokingly) I would be dialing for pizza right now, but you are still on the line. Bye!

DDM: Bye.

Click.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS It is Friday! I will be back on Monday! I am in Toronto this weekend to meet new babies! Yay! And getting in some solid girl time.

Labels: DDM, Fun, Hubby

To get things done efficiently while out of the house requires a couple of things. When I go to the grocery store, I strategize from start to finish. The other night my no nonsense, quick thinking, and prompt action caught the attention of fellow shoppers. I knew my childhood gaming would be good for something later on. My years of playing Atari's Pressure Cooker, the game where you make burgers as fast as the joystick and your reflexes would allow you, has made me into a perfect U-Scan customer.

I have discovered that in order to use these machines most effectively, you need to:

- keep your eyes looking ahead
- make sure there are openings or soon-to-be-openings
- make sure you don't get stuck behind a machine-impaired individual who needs technical assistance every 2 seconds
- make sure you are not surrounded by tech-impaired people who demand the attention of the one store employee who holds the key to the U-Scan operations
- know where the UPC Codes are
- be sure to place your Green bags on the carousel BEFORE you ring your stuff through
- use TWO hands to punch in produce codes, not one....that takes too long
- listen to the machine's instructions, read, and pay promptly
- don't eat half your chocolate bar and then ring it through because the improper weight distribution will confuse the machine and hold you up
- bag your groceries like you are playing a game of Tetris

This is not me in the picture.

You have to be sharp. You have to be on the ball to make the time spent at the U-Scan worthwhile. You are in control. Not the person behind the cash.

While I was loading my groceries into the van, a man in his sixties was getting into his bronze coloured Corolla beside me. He looked over at me and declared, "You are a really serious shopper. You know how to run those machines like I have never seen before!"

I laughed. I said, "I know. It's all about efficiency."

He drove away and I thought to myself, I wonder what my expression was? I was actually being observed?

I must have looked like a total you-know-what. It took a woman in the U-Scan zone with a don't-talk-to-me-now look on her face to get a comment from some random old guy. Who happened to park beside me.

Maybe there was a crowd around staring in disbelief at my impressive U-Scan talent.

Perhaps I should offer a tutorial and put it on DVD and sell it on an infomercial. I bet I could make a fortune.

I better not let my ego get the better of me now.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Chores, DDM

I thought we were the only family left. The only ones who are breaking the cardinal rule. A rule similar to the 'no white after Labour Day,' or the 'no sandals before May 2-4 Weekend.' But we are not the only ones. I found someone else guilty of the same laziness. We have completely broken the, 'Take-your-Sport-Rack-off-the-top-of-your-vehicle-after-your- summer-holiday-is-OVER-so-you-don't-look-like-a-complete-lazy-arse-procrastinator' rule.

Yesterday Hubby and I had a repeat conversation. This conversation is almost identical to the Christmas lights talk. It goes something like this:

DDM: Are we going to take the Sport Rack down off the top of the van soon? (Sidebar: WE CLEARLY meaning HIM)

Hubby: At least I can see you coming.

DDM: Well, true, but the whole town can see us coming. And you know what they are all thinking, right? I will tell you. They are all thinking to themselves, Oh, look! Those lazy arse people STILL haven't taken their Sport Rack off. Don't they know summer is over and fall is here? Summer vacation is not until next year!

Hubby: I don't think so. I think they are saying, Wow! Those people are really smart! They are prepared for their vacation and have ample storage room too!

DDM: Take the damn thing down, would you?

Hubby: Maybe this weekend. We'll see. (Sidebar: Always trying to get the last word in...)

DDM: Humph. (Turn on heel and walk away)

I went to London today with the Wee Ladies in tow. By myself. Daring of me, I know. When we were on our way home, I saw it. Another vehicle with a Sport Rack on top. And I got excited. Just like I did in my early driving days when I should have had a bumper sticker on my car that read: If This Car's a Rockin', Pull Over to the Right Immediately: Dangerous Teenager Behind the Wheel. I reacted in the same way I did when playing the Punch Bug, No Punch Backs game when a VW Bug came into view, or my personal favourite- the One Eye game. The One Eye game is when you spot an oncoming car with only one working headlight. If you are the first to spot it, you slam your hand against the interior roof as hard as you can and shout at the top of your lungs, ONE EYE! You startle everyone around you, thank the stars above that you just didn't land in the ditch and then you keep tally of your numbers. Whoever has the most one eyes, wins. It is very easy to get carried away with this game.

I had no one to play with today. This bummed me out. EvieG was watching Nim's Island on her portable DVD player that is only allowed out on trips of an hour or more. Spark Plug and The Destroyer were asleep. Just as I was about to hammer the back of my hand against the ceiling of the van and shout Sport Rack!, I realized that this would do nothing but bring the Wee Ladies to tears. And that clearly is not the object of the game. So I kept driving looking for more Sport Racks. And no, the cool looking Thulle ski racks are not the same. They don't count for any points. They are out of the Sport Rack league.

I didn't feel so bad after seeing the other member of the I-will-keep-my-Sport-Rack-on-however-long-I-want-club. There are others like us out there. And I bet they have their Christmas lights up until March too. Just like us.

March isn't so bad. It could be longer than that. In the northern Ontario town where we vacation with the Sport Rack, Hubby and I estimate that two of every three houses has their Christmas lights up in August still. They just never take them down up there. Their summers are so short and before you know it, the snow is flying again. So to them, there is no point in taking them down, when all you are going to do is put them back up again.

At least we unplugged the lights by the end of January. Plus they were camouflaged in the snow. And Hubby didn't want to end up in the Marble Orchard prematurely by hopping out onto the roof. Only a few people commented on our lights still being up in March. Hubby wanted to wait for the nice weather to take them down.

But what exactly is he waiting for with the Sport Rack?

Like everything else in our world, it will get done. In due time.

He has until the end of this weekend. And that is the last word.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, Chores, DDM, Hubby

I am two for two. I am one of those moms. The mom who forgets to pack a brush and send their child to school in a super cute, picture friendly outfit. Why did I forget to do this? Because once again, I forgot that it was picture day for EvieG.

As I was walking away from the school this morning with the other Wee Ladies, I heard the teacher say, "To all of those Kindergarten parents, just a reminder that today is picture day!" I stopped, looked on in horror and realized that I screwed up again. On the way home, I even toyed with the idea of going to the school with another outfit. I decided that it would just make me look like a bigger moron than I already was. I chose to leave it alone and opt for a possible retake.

She is in Senior Kindergarten this year. I have had time to think about and write Picture Day on our white board calendar in EvieG's designated dry erase marker colour. And for two years in a row, I have completely cast this day aside in my head. I schedule in my head and write down those absolutely critical dates and events. But why is it that picture day gets left in the dust?

I have concluded that:

a) We recently had pictures taken of all the Wee Ladies by a photographer and therefore do not need any more.

b) I can rely on retakes, because that is what the school system offers at no extra charge

c) The school photo from the shoulders up almost always disappoints and therefore cannot be a reliable, frameable option. There is always hair out of place, a yogurt stain from lunch, or the picture was taken with the eyes partly closed. The head is usually cocked back and slightly to the side because that is where the photographer locks the head and the smile is a jaw clench with all teeth exposed.

d) It is one more thing to pay for and the photos usually end up in its original enveloped stuffed at the back of the office cupboard, even though the wallet size picture was intended on being handed out to everyone we know. It just never happens. We are lucky if one copy makes it to the fridge.

e) We get a free class photo and that is the picture the kid cares about.

I have failed again. I dressed EvieG in a jogging suit today. I know- think what you will. But it's true. A deep pink jogging outfit. What was I thinking? I shake my head in shame. I put zero thought into her appearance today. That is not entirely true. I did wipe the breakfast face off before leaving the house.

I wonder what the background will be? We usually get a slip of paper in the Take Home Bag that allows you to choose the child's picture background. We didn't get one this time, but that's okay. I would have totally forgotten about it anyway. The background choices are usually something like the faux library, sky blue, bricks, earthy brown, a multi-coloured Jackson Pollock looking canvas, or a teal coloured background. It depends on the photo company, but those are the general choices. Last year we went with the earthy brown. And then I forgot to get her appropriately dressed in a slick looking outfit. So when I was reinformed that it was picture day at the end of the day, I realized that she wore a yellow long-sleeve t-shirt. Ewww. She will hate me in 10 years when she finds the envelope of pictures from Kindergarten at the back of the cupboard, wipes the dust away, pulls them out, and freaks out because I made her look like a kid right out of 1974. I'll just tell her that retro was cool back then.

I always said to myself that I would stay on top of stuff. That I would write everything down and use my superhuman memory to get everything accomplished and taken care of. It is not happening like I thought. I forget lots of things. I forget about picture day. I leave a trail of stuff behind at people's houses. I forget diapers when we go out. I am late for appointments.

I was never like this in my former life without kids.

It could be worse I guess. At least we are all still alive and fully intact.

And so what if I forgot picture day? At least I still have one more go at getting it right with retakes. I am so glad the school is lenient and provides forgetful moms with another opportunity to get their crap together.

And EvieG's jogging suit is actually a more accurate portrayal of what she wears on a daily basis. I am just keeping it real.

I told Hubby that I forgot picture day. He smiled and shook his head at me. He asked me what I dressed her in today. I looked at the floor as a look of guilt came over my face. And he said, "You put her in her jogging suit, didn't you?" I nodded slowly and disgracefully. Hubby replied with, "Well, at least hoodies are in this season and you can just tell her that she was dressed all cool like."

Hoodies are in. And no one has to know that she was wearing jogging pants to match.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Guilt

I wrote about the Bride of Chucky last week. She is the one doll that was picked out of a garage sale by my MIL for a dime and is the most beloved of all the dolls. She looks like she is possessed. I am convinced she is wanting to send us all to the loony bin because now we wake up at random hours of the night to talking toys and other child objects that cry out in the night. Pretty soon Hubby is going to be sitting in the middle of the living room floor with candles and a Ouija board daring the spirits to show themselves.
We have had to do an exorcism of our house and rid the premises of all demonized toys. The first one we chucked to the road was Alphabet Pal. Have you seen and listened to this thing before? It has got to be one of the most irritating toys I think I have ever heard.

Each foot can sing a tune, tell its colour, its letter, and sound. The best part about this toy is that it makes a real hum-dinger of a party game. After a few cocktails, you can pull this toy out and try and spell out words phonetically. Dirty words. This is a very challenging activity, but once you have had a few beverages, the repertoire of dirty words is broadened and the challenge becomes that much more rich and exciting because it will not by any account let you spell out dirty words phonetically. It catches on to what you are doing and kibosh's your spelling bee with a dirty little giggle. Sound it out- d, short i, and you are going for the c-k, only to get the hee hee hee. This party game can easily amuse a group of 8 somewhat in the bag adults all night. Guaranteed.

You would think the bride of Chucky would unleash the foul potty mouth of this toy. But instead she opts to have this crazy, purple caterpillar talk out in the night. She sets out to freak the house by making us think we are being haunted or that there is an intruder. All of a sudden we will wake to the, "Hi! I'm Alphabet Pal!" or "Hi! I'm Edison!" or you will hear its little jingle followed by, "Good bye!" We go downstairs only to find Alphabet Pal in the dog's crate.

We had a green electric guitar that does not have a turn off button. And it turns on with the brush of a finger. Uncle Jeff buys us these really annoying gifts, including The Annoying Thing.
This guitar has had a home at the back of the toy cupboard. It is periodically discovered and resurfaces for a while. This past weekend it came back to life. But its life was finally laid to rest.

The Wee Ladies were outside in the backyard a lot this weekend. The weather is cooling off and it is perfect for playing. It is also perfect for sleeping. We turned off the air a while ago and just keep the windows open. Friday night Hubby was having trouble getting to sleep, as usual, and just as he was drifting off, he heard a startling noise outside. But because he was in the half sleep, half awake mode, he couldn't figure out what the sound was. At first he thought it was a problem with the alarm system. Nope. Then he thought it was a short circuit in the stereo system. Nope. All intact. The TV? Nah. A burglar? Not that either. At this point, he has been upstairs and downstairs, outside, and in the basement trying to figure it out. And he was seriously startled by this noise. Finally, with all the ruckus, I woke up and heard this noise. Hubby asked, "Do you hear that? What is that?" I stated without hesitation, "It's that stupid guitar Jeff gave us out in the backyard." And then I promptly went back to sleep. He got up and brought it inside. Obviously he didn't clearly think that move through because an hour later, it started belting out another number. I woke up again and shot, "Did you not get rid of the possessed demon toy?" Hubby replied with a sheepish yet stern tone, "Oh..... no." I asked, "Where did you put it?" He responded with, "On the kitchen table." I sighed loudly like I was all put out and stuff, got up, and as I was on my way downstairs, knowing that he had just fallen asleep like 10 minutes before and it was now 2:30 am, I snipped with, "If it was making noise outside, it will make noise inside too. So putting it on the kitchen table should have been the last place to put it. I will put it in the garage. Where it can no longer be heard." The end.

The guitar is now at the side of the house in a garbage can, waiting for the BFI guys to take it away so it can try to possess the things in the garbage pile.

Hubby could not settle down after the possessed guitar drama. He hardly slept that night. It had just sent him into paranoia mode. I think it was the demon toys trying to get to him.

Maybe the bride of Chucky should magically disappear to the garbage bin.

Because a lack of sleep will change anyone into a zombie. And we can't let the demon toys win.

We humans will prevail.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS We went to a Halloween barn party. I partied in a barn, just like the old days of country parties. I filled up on bread and carbs and drank beer all night without losing my cool. I had so much starch in me, there was no way the alcohol could get the better of me. I was Madonna on Tour (current tour) and Hubby was Prince from the Purple Rain era. We had a ball. He was hurting yesterday. The white refined starch in my tummy filtered the beer better than my liver.

Here is a picture post-party. I am ready for bed and I am wearing an oxygen tube around my neck because there was an oxygen bar there. Have you ever tried that? It was like inhaling Glade PlugIns directly through your nostrils.

Labels: Battle, DDM, Hubby

Our Girls' Night Out was a success. Thanks to Stargazers for doing a fab job hosting. We had a great time.

We had a good turn out. There were a range of women in attendance from the 30's all the way up to the 80's. This is what it is supposed to be about- girl time.

We tried some really great wine from The Colio Estates Winery in Harrow. Their new line of wine is called Girl's Night Out and it has a picture of a cute little pink dress on the label. We tried 2007 Rose, a 2007 Chardonnay, and a 2006 Merlot. We sampled a Vidal dessert wine at the end while we ate our peach tarts.

This restaurant is great because they heavily promote serving healthy local food and drink. They work to stick close to the 100 mile diet. They make their own oils, dressings, BBQ sauce and chutneys. They are strong advocates of the local Erie Shore wineries as well. They provide a comfortable ambiance and ensure you are well taken care of. It's my favourite restaurant.

2 1/2 hours flew by. We girls talked and laughed about everything from our kids, to the their idiosyncrasies, to children's TV, to travel and family, and we even got onto the topic of ghosts, which was fun.

Our goal was accomplished. We got some newer moms and even the older moms out for some fun and relaxation. We were able to have a prolonged, civilized meal without the running, grazing, and constant buzzing of children. We were able to really enjoy our time away and it was quality time.

We will do something like this again. I think it is a good thing for moms to have an outlet. I feel good today, knowing that I had some time out with friends, while making new ones in the process.

What a fantastic night. Thanks to everyone who came out.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a fun weekend. Come back Monday for more stories from this DDM. Hubby and I are going to a Halloween party. I haven't dressed up since university. This should be interesting. I might even post some pictures of our party night out next week. Stay tuned. I just hope I don't make an arse of myself. You never know with this DDM.

Labels: Fun

My name is DDM and I was a Brownie. When I was in grade school I was in a girl's group with the Girl Guides of Canada. I worked hard to earn badges, to be a team player, and learn some survival skills. I sang, chanted, and was a part of a little group called something like The Imps that was within the troop. This was a group that promoted collaboration and community awareness. But in my day, there was a slight competitive edge to it. Today these groups still exist, but with some changes. And EvieG is now part of the girl power.

Last night EvieG had her first Sparks meeting. Sparks is the group before Brownies with the Girl Guides of Canada. Sparks wasn't around in my day. My Mom took her and picked her up while I went to my last Bootcamp session. She had a good time singing and dancing around the makeshift campfire in the middle of a church basement floor. She listened to the rules and regulations of the Girl Guides as they were told by her leaders Sparkle and Rainbow. I am sure she chanted and learned the Sparks motto which is that she will do her best to share and be a good friend. And if she doesn't? Well, I guess Santa is watching.

I enjoyed Brownies. We were under the watchful eye of Brown Owl who steered us in the right direction to becoming strong girls. We got to try lots of new things. We had a great outfit, which I still have.
Isn't that classic? You can see all of my badges that were so diligently sewn on by my mom, my pin, my Imp badge (I think that was the name of the group), bars, stars, and the regiment band around the arm. I still have the scarf with the proper knot in it. Missing is the belt and dues pouch, which I am sure took at least half a hide to produce. They took a quarter from me every week.

Brownies was loads of fun, but really to me, it was about a) the badges, and b) the Girl Guide cookies which we sold as a fundraiser. I did everything in my power to earn the most badges out of my friends and sell the most cookies. I wanted that arm filled up like an American General. I was power with those badges. That meant I could bake, sew, collect, sign the alphabet, play music, clean, host, and all the other things that made me more well rounded. And I had a book that I kept beside my bed. Sometimes at night I would look at and check off the badges I had earned so far, and gaze at the ones I still had to fight hard to get.

I should have been in the military.

So when EvieG turned 5 this year, it meant she could do some good for herself and others by joining the Sparks troop. My mom and I and took her to the registration. I was so excited. This is something she can do with other girls and she can learn about the world and community through the ways of Rainbow and Sparkle. And she gets to earn badges. And sell cookies. And I get to sew the badges on too, just like my mom did. And I can help her get all of those badges. She can set some real goals.

I started looking through all of the information and got to the catalogue where the uniforms were. And this is what they wear nowadays.
What the?

Pink? T-shirts, sweatshirts, and jogging pants? Pink?

Where do the badges go?

The uniforms have changed to a 'more casual look.' Things are 'less formal' than the days of old. They no longer sew their badges on a sharp looking dress, but instead they IRON them on a sash. A SASH! What are they? A bunch of casual looking beauty queens? Come on! And the best part? They don't work individually to earn their badges of honour. They do it collaboratively. Together. As a group. I put my hand to my forehead and shook my head in despair. And what is with the ironing? Can no one sew? I can't! But I will damn well try! Do things always have to be so casual and easy?

Is there not anything competitive out there anymore? Don't get me wrong. I am all for collaboration and teamwork. They need this as they get older and ready for the big, wide, world. But they have to be able to set individual goals too. At least when we were in Brownies, there was both. Doing things as a team and then achieving goals on your own.

We got her signed up. I was still happy that she would be part of this group albeit slightly disappointed by the new information I received. She will still have a good time in her pink outfit and instead of a quarter each week for dues, well I have payment options now. And it is more expensive...another sign of the times. It is $3 a month. I can pay it all in one shot for the year, or clear out my coffee change at the start of each month.

I am so glad that she will be able to sit around her makeshift campfire, chant, and work with her peers. She will be better off for it. She will take trips to places like the apple orchard and do a bunch of fun stuff with her troop. I think it will be a good experience for her. And her life will have a little more sparkles and rainbows. This is a great thing.

I can't wait to start selling Girl Guide Cookies. Mint for fall and vanilla and chocolate filled (the classics) in the spring. They taste the best right out of the freezer.

And I will hand sew those badges on her sash. Never mind this whole ironing thing.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Fun

Just call me old school. Or a squirrel. I have begun my winter gathering and storing and I have never done this before. We will have local produce all winter because I decided to live like my grandma did, and those generations before her.

I have made a couple of batches of apple sauce already. The Wee Ladies and I went out to the orchard to pick some apples. That was fun and it didn't take too long. They were involved in the whole process which was great. They helped wash, peel, cook, and eat.

Next on the list was to cook a batch of tomato sauce. We have a few plants in our backyard and I didn't want to waste them like I did last year. So I cooked a bunch up yesterday. And it turned out alright.

My most ambitious tasks have yet to be tackled. Like the older role models of my family, I am choosing to follow in some of their farm/family/cost efficient/healthy ways. I am going to buy produce in bulk and prepare it to store for the winter. I bought a flat of beans and am gearing myself up to trim/blanch/bag/store. I realize this is going to be some work. But if they could do it with a bunch of kids running around, then I can too.

I have a bushel of carrots on order, a 50lb bag of potatoes, and I think I will also get some beets, cauliflower, and broccoli. We will be fully prepared if there is nuclear fallout, a rock bottom economic crisis, a devastating earthquake or volcano, or Armageddon starring Ben Affleck. I am going to keep the potatoes in a dark, cool spot and keep the carrots covered in dirt.

All I need now is a floral apron to match the ones my great grandmother used to wear, a couple more stock pots and several boxes of Glad storage bags with twist ties.

This stuff I can do like the they did in the old days. I cannot however bake a loaf of bread from scratch without using a bread machine and I cannot make a decent pie from scratch. I can make strawberry jam, kind of, and muffins and cookies, no problem. I do wish sometimes that I had my great grandmother here to teach me some of these things. I think that when the people of a couple of generations ago pass away, a whole library of unwritten knowledge goes with them.

Why do I want to do all of this? I feel that we are what we eat, as cliche as that sounds. I want us to eat as pure and healthy as we can. There is too much processed crap out there that scares me and I don't want to end up in the Marble Orchard because of my Timbit addiciton. I want the Wee Ladies to grow up able to make good food choices. I know that time is a factor, but after my blog about my poor habits last week, I realized that I can organize myself properly if I really make a conscious effort. So that is my new mission. I blogged myself into a new thought process.

I like that we will be able to eat local produce all winter. I think it is good for the Wee Ladies (Hubby and I included). It will save on the grocery bill, but it will take some work.

At least if there is a major global crisis we won't get scurvy. But we might die of thirst, or hypothermia.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Can't wait till tomrorow's Girl's Night Out!

Labels: DDM, Responsibility

I put my name in at the library for the Tales for Twos class. While EvieG is at school, I can do something special with Spark Plug and The Destroyer. Taking the two young ladies there was like asking for a dish of 'crazy' with sprinkles on top.

I walked myself right into this one. The program started today and as usual we were 10 minutes late. I took them out to the farm first to pick up some eggs and meat. By the time I was done chatting and then running around trying to get them back into the van and away from the puppy, we were running behind schedule.

When we got there, we walked into a packed house. This is by far the largest turn out I have ever seen for this library program. There were parents, grandparents, siblings, and the kids who are the ones who are legitimately supposed to be there. There were strollers, diaper bags, shoes, and bottles all around the room. And the tight circle was closed.

I was okay with the circle being closed. I am not one who has to be part of the circle. I am not one who gets anxious when there is not a spot for me. I can sit at the back, no problem. That's how I made it through school. But when we came in, they all just stared. No one even made a gesture to open the circle for us. We weren't even officially welcomed. I felt like I was walking into class late. I felt about 60 eyes glance at me with the you're-on-your-own look. So we took a seat outside the circle. At the back.

There was a diaper bag, a bag of books, and one mom's shoes in our way. The Destroyer was all over it, so I pushed the stuff a little bit out our reach and took her bag of books and put it up on the table, along with our stuff. About 15 minutes after our tardy arrival, this mom looked back and said to me, but not really to me, but really to me, "I had a bag of books. Where did they go?" I responded politely with, "Oh, I put them up on the table to get them out of the way of this one," motioning towards The Destroyer. She looked at me like, You biotch. Don't move my crap because your child is the one who can't keep her hands off. You could have at least told me you were moving it. What were you trying to do, steal my books? After that she kept looking back to make sure we weren't taking off with her Dr. Scholl's sandals. Maybe I would have if they had been cool looking Birkenstocks.

I got the stink eye a few times from random moms. And really for no reason. I had to go and rescue The Destroyer a couple times. But this is nothing unusual. And of all people, moms should recognize this. First, I had to get her away from the telephone that was sitting on the floor, that I was sure wasn't working, until I heard, Please hang up and try your call again. I snatched her up a second time just as she was about to reach for the fire alarm cord. She is just able to reach it. I saw her starting to extend her arm up to pull and was there in a flash, before we all had to evacuate the building. At which point I would have snuck out the back door all stealth like and thrown them in the van and taken off. It wasn't us! I swear!

Spark Plug cooperated really quite well up until she saw the 7 month old sitting in the middle of the floor. She shouted, "Oooooh! A baby!" She ran over to the baby and sat down with her. It was pretty cute. She even tried to kiss her at which point a mom leaped out at a rapid speed to pull her child away, like Spark Plug was some kind of germ infested parasite. Which she is not, of course. She doesn't even have a cold. If she did, I would not have let her close to the baby.

I am one who chooses to believe that moms are understanding of one another. And I think they are most of the time. But there is definitely a lack of trust sometimes. Especially when illness becomes a factor, or they think illness is a possible factor. If they think you are rude or inconsiderate, then out comes the cold shoulder. Perhaps us being late was enough to piss a few people off. They exuded weary caution as far as how we were approached and looked at. I left there once the Wee Ladies got their sticker and stamp thinking out of five weeks, how many absents are going to be by our name? I was frustrated by the noise, the numbers, and the lack of camaraderie by the other fellow moms.

Was it something I said? Was it what I was wearing? I was even dressed appropriately! I put away my stained t-shirts and ripped jeans and wore a fleece sweatshirt and capri pants. The Wee Ladies looked super cute in their Autumn attire. I guess I was just not part of the circle.

Maybe it was my unshaved legs that led to the weary caution.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

We have so many dollies. Dolls that have all been given to us over the past five years. The one exception are my old Cabbage Patch dolls and my prized Baby Doll. They have recently resurfaced. With all of these dolls hanging around, each one getting its 15 seconds of fame as it becomes a favourite for a little while, there is always one that is favoured slightly more than the others. And it is the creepiest of the bunch.

Check out the collection of dolls that EvieG and I gathered up. I am overwhelmed by the sheer numbers.
And these are most of them. I know for a fact that some are MIA. These dollies have come from an assortment of family and friends and were given for various occasions. There was the odd Christmas gift, the so-I-hear-you-are-going-to-be-a-big-sister gift, the so-I-hear-you-have-a-new-baby-in-the-house gift, the all-3-girls-need-their-own-baby-and-we-have-to-be-fair-and-equal gift, and the we-got-back-from-vacation-and-brought-you-something gift. Oh, and the one that was picked up at a garage sale.

I am always amazed too at how most of the dolls are naked most of the time. We have a bag full of clothes to go on the dolls, but if I ever take the time to dress them all, it seems it is a matter of minutes before they are all undressed again. So I don't even bother. And the accessories that come with these dolls! Bottles, rattles, diapers, soothers, hats, shoes, and on and on. There are dolls that cry, dolls that suck, dolls that pee, mud-caked dolls, water-logged dolls, dolls that laugh, and dolls that grimace. They do! They scrunch their face. The ones that grimace and cry are the ones that scare the crap out of the Wee Ladies, not the crazy, psycho looking dolls.

I am surprised all of our limbs are intact because the one that was picked up at a garage sale is the bride of Chucky. I swear this doll has a demon soul, going just on looks only. My MIL found 'it' half stuck under the dogs playing billiards throw blanket,

thought 'it' would be a nice addition to the girly toy stockpile and brought her home to bleach the crap out of. Just to make sure the demon soul was cleansed and there was no mold left anywhere on her- a modern mom's version of voodoo.

The bride of Chucky is a feature favourite at our house. Or maybe it is that she is still possessed by the demon spirits and randomly moves herself to various locations within the house. I will find her on the stairs, on the couch, in the bathroom, in my bed, under the kitchen table, and hanging among the other stuffed creatures.
This doll is not at all appealing. She has a bald spot on the top of her head. It looks like a previous child owner took a pair of shearing scissors to its head. She is wearing a circa 1968 yellow polyester dress. She has her arms and legs, hands and feet all intact. But she will stare at you with her one good eye. She still wears her bloomers! A real, old fashioned bride! How scary is she?

Spark Plug loves taking the bride for sleepovers. I would think this doll would be the kind of doll that would give a kid nightmares. But she doesn't. Maybe she has Spark Plug possessed...it all comes together! Now I know why Spark Plug is the way she is sometimes! She is a demon child! It all makes sense now! She is connected to the bride! The bride has gotten to her! Call in the exorcist!

When I think back to my most prized doll, I think of something similar to the bride. She had a similar face, but was pink and more compact. She did have the scissors taken to her hair because Uncle Jeff convinced me that it would grow back. After the haircut, our gerbil, Clark Kent, got out of his cage, found his way to my Baby Doll and ate her fingers off. So now the Wee Ladies have the bride of Chucky and the seed of Chucky to play with. Balding, stubby fingers, and a whole lot of spirit.

It just goes to show that you could go out and spend a fortune on Corolle dolls or American Girl dolls, but when in reality, they always prefer the scary looking, old school dolls that were picked up at the neighbour's garage sale for a dime.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Congratulations to Sandra! She has won the free spot to the Girl's Night Out evening this Thursday night at Stargazers Restaurant! Thanks so much to everyone who submitted their name. We are going to have a good turn out and it will be a lot of fun!

Labels: Family, Fun, Spark Plug

The Wee Ladies love playing in the tub. They have a few bath toys that they really dig. The most popular toys are the ones that squirt. They are the most disgusting as well. Have you ever forgotten to let the water out of the squirt toys?

We usually put the Wee Ladies in the tub all together. They have a bath most nights-it is part of the routine. We don't use soap on them every night. They like to play and splash about. Sometimes it gets really tight in there as they splash and try to glide around, but generally speaking they have a grand time.

One thing I have noticed is how there are some toys that have standing water in them. And although these toys are not mosquito breeding grounds, they are breeding grounds for something else. Mold.

I have not always been due diligent when it comes to cleaning out every bath toy after each bath. And sometimes the toys are left laying on the bottom of the empty tub. Most nights I clean it all up and EvieG helps. And most nights I take the gripper off and hang it over the side of the tub.

I have noticed that the squirt toys that have water left in them mold very quickly. I remember the first time I noticed this. One of the Wee Ladies was squirting water but there was dark looking gunk coming out. I looked into the water and saw all of this black stuff floating around. Slimy strings of goo. I got the girls out and washed out the tub. And then I pitched the squirt toys.

So now I replace these toys with dollar store squirt toys whenever I see that the mold is forming. I empty them out after the bath whenever I remember, but I often find myself distracted and busy with other things.

Like so many things we are cautioned about regarding the health and safety of our children, I have never heard of anyone getting sick from ingesting mold from a squirt toy. But if I can see the unknown gunk, I know I don't want to risk them drinking moldy, dirty bath water on a regular basis. I refrain from worrying or freaking about it.

Just like I refrain from worrying and spazzing out about them eating dirt from the garden. I just remove them from the dirt or vice versa.

I don't want to have to deal with pinworms or something gross like that, thanks. That would just be one more thing on an already full plate.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a great weekend and I will be at it again on Monday.

Labels: Chores, Responsibility

All little girls look up to their moms. They want to look like their moms and act like their moms. The pick up on every tone, gesture, and mannerism. I see this in the Wee Ladies sometimes. And there are times when I forget how much of an influence we have on their development. There are also times when I have to be careful of what and how I say it. We moms are constantly being sized up.

I am not one to get up extra early to do hair and make up. If I get my teeth brushed, well then everyone is better off. I dress in casual clothes and t-shirts most of the time. I am not a slob, but I do not feel the need to make myself look good, whatever that means. I classify myself as being pretty natural. I do occasionally get my hair coloured and trimmed. My overall appearance is not a priority. I'm just me.

The girls are also pretty casual. EvieG is going through a dress phase right now. That's fine with me. I do know for a fact that her preference for dresses does not come from me. Spark Plug also loves dresses. She also has an affection for accessories. This also does not come from me. The Destroyer is happy wearing nothing but her beaded necklaces.

So how do I influence the Wee Ladies? Spark Plug needs to have her sunglasses when we go out. She wears them in the car and then likes to put them up on her head when we are inside a store. Just like mom.

I hear the Wee Ladies talk to the dog like I do. They copy my low, gruff, listen-to-me-now voice and even pet him the same way I do.

I have reality checks. Those moments when I stop and realize that every intonation I use is heard and absorbed. Every word, phrase, and conversation is observed and recorded. I know this because there are times when they get snippy with me or with each other and they respond exactly the same way I do when my patience is running thin. EvieG will say to Spark Plug, "You are not listening to me! Now go and sit on the step!" I immediately talk to EvieG about my job as the mom and her job as the sister. It is not her job to discipline her sister. These moments always remind me that everything I do affects them.

I was not born with double D's. In fact it is fair to say that I barely made it out of the A category in the breast department. But to my 5 year old, I am Dolly Parton. One day out of the blue EvieG looked up at me with a look of sheer envy and asked, "Mom, when do I get to have big boobies just like you?" I smiled, puffed my chest out a little bit more to accentuate my small, round bosoms, and responded with, "When you are bigger bigger. You have lots of time before you have to worry about that." Like a peacock showing off its stuff, I for a split instant thought, Wow! Someone in this world thinks I have big boobs! Well, I never! Everything in the mind of child is perceived to be much larger than reality. But it was nice for that moment. I wonder if she will want to be just like me and stuff Kleenex into her training bra?

I want to be a positive role model for them. I want them to learn that they can feel good about themselves without having all the clothes, make up, and accessories. That they can be naturally beautiful. I want them to believe that being pretty doesn't mean wearing tight clothes and applying so much make up you need a putty knife to take it off. And maybe because we don't make that stuff a priority, they will grow and develop naturally too. We will see. I will let them express themselves however they need to, but within reason. It is definitely important to experiment and try on some different looks to find the one that fits. I look forward to watching them search for who they want to become.

These years are fun. We have not entered the I want this and that stage. I do not want to battle it out with them as they get older, but I know that there will be a little of that as we go. I will gladly hang on to this stage for a while longer.

Maybe they will start copying Hubby too. Oh, they already do. They blame the dog for everything. Stenches included.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Responsibility

I have been a bit of a hypocrite. I always say that we moms need to be good to ourselves, or we won't be any good to anyone else. Well, this is indeed true. And I can say it all I want to my fellow mom friends. But I have not been living by this rule completely.

Now that I am a mom and we have the Wee Ladies depending on us, I am way more conscious of my own mortality. I have a fear of terminal illness and am doing everything I can to stay out of the Marble Orchard. I try to mind what I eat and drink to a certain extent. I try to feed the Wee Ladies lots of fresh food and decent meat. I try to drink good quality water and other beverages. I try to take it easy on the sugar and salt fronts. I exercise several times a week and am trying to train for a half marathon, which isn't working as well as I would like it to. So why am I a hypocrite? Because I am failing in a couple of areas and I found out it is taking a toll on my health.

As moms, we are so busy with our kids. All the time. I am so concerned with their nutrition and their well being that I often forget about my own. Time is a huge factor. Once they are have eaten breakfast, the day begins. Minding the 3 of them is busy. We are gone and out and about in the morning- the window of time is limited before snack time and naps. I am constantly thinking ahead. I think in the context of food and drink. What's the next snack; the next meal? And along this line, I often forget to properly nourish myself. How is this possible?

As moms, we naturally feed our young first. We can't fight nature. But there are so many things to do and it becomes difficult to sit down and eat too. Even when I prepare a nice dinner, and especially when I am alone with the Wee Ladies, I rarely get through my dinner without getting up for more more drinks, a cloth, or something. They never finish together. Often I find I am cleaning up, the girls have gone outside, and I still have half a plate of food sitting there.

I had a friend say that it is almost like she feels like she is not entitled to sit down with her kids. She feels that as a mother, she needs to ensure her children are properly taken care of during meal time. She makes sure the food experience is a wholesome one for the kids, but she misses out on her own nourishment. And by the time 11:00 am rolls around, she realizes she has had nothing but coffee. And that her throbbing head is because she has not eaten anything yet that day. So while on a walk with the kids, she stops and gets a breakfast sandwich from a coffee shop. She realizes this cycle is unhealthy. But how do we find the time to make sure we have a decent meal too?

I would love to make an egg-white omelet with spinach and feta cheese in the morning. I simply feel like I don't have time to pull out all the stuff to make it and then clean it all up. I can be pretty sure the Wee Ladies won't eat that. I feel a bit stuck in all of this.

I was at the doctor yesterday. I told him I have been feeling a bit light-headed and dizzy the last few days. He took my blood pressure and told me no wonder I am woozy, my blood pressure is too low. I have never had this before. He asked about my exercise regimen. He asked if I was replenishing my fluids properly. I looked at him blankly and thought, ummmmm, am I? I realized I am not. Not even close.

I realized that I have a bit of a problem. I am not eating or drinking well enough to keep going all day, everyday with the Wee Ladies. I am not drinking enough water and my sodium levels are all out of whack. I had blood work ordered and was told to go and buy a bag of chips and a Gatorade. Like when I was in school, I went to the gas station, got my bag of Dill Pickle Lays and Berry Gatorade, went to the cashier, and as the stuff was ringing through I said, "Doctor's orders!" I haven't eaten that level of sodium in ages. I did feel a bit better after that, but I still have some work to do.

It has taken this kind of wake up call to realize that I need to take the time to eat and drink. That I need to stop grazing on the kids' food and start planning my meals better. I am having trouble with how I am going to accomplish this. I have a hard enough time getting to the grocery store. I have had several glasses of water today, a couple cups of green tea with honey, and a bowl of cereal. I look at the clock and realize that it is 12:45 pm and I haven't eaten since 8:00 this morning. I want something fast and healthy. I do not want to resort to granola bars and cereal. Lunch meats are too gross and salad is not enough. Anything really decent requires cooking. And so what happens is that I make myself another cup of tea and have a banana or apple.

Time is a factor- a 5 year old, a 2 and 1 year old are keeping me hopping. I lose track of time. I am constantly going from one thing to the next, with very little down time. I want to spend time with the Wee Ladies, not sitting and eating. And I don't want to make the extra mess that comes with cooking a bunch of stuff a few times a day.

Do I need a lesson in time management and organization?

Is it just me who struggles with this issue?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, DDM, Responsibility

Changing seasons means partaking in the most time consuming and tedious task- changing over and cleaning out closets. This is what I have been doing today. Between tantrums, diapers, and nap time.

EvieG started Kindergarten today. She was so excited and I was happy for her. She picked out her outfit last night, was up early, and was asking if it was time to go to school every 2 seconds this morning. We pulled out her new lunchbox and backpack, went over how to operate it all, and assembled everything. As all of this was happening, I was feeling excited for her new experience and a little separation anxiety at the same time. This change in routine is going to be good for everyone, I think.

I got home with the other 2 Wee Ladies and we went upstairs. I began with The Destroyer's closet. I sorted, separated, eliminated, and reorganized. I made a few trips to the basement to retrieve the Rubbermaid containers that are storing the hand-me-downs. The poor kid has barely had anything new of her own from the second she was born. But such is life with the younger siblings. I sifted through the bins and hung up the clothes that will take her through the fall and winter, keeping some things from the summer just in case it stays warm.

While this was going on, The Destroyer was melting down, nagging at Spark Plug and rustling through the clothes piles while spreading it around the room. I put her in her crib for some regrouping time and she fell asleep. This does not happen very often. I let her be.

Spark Plug decided to make hanger sculptures. As I organized the closet, she was finding multiple ways to hang the hangers. This kept her quiet and busy. I think she was glad to have The Destroyer out of her hair-literally.

I eventually got Spark Plug's clothes arranged. I did EvieG's closet last week.

I do not look forward to this job. It is a pain in the you-know-what and it is all the lugging, sifting and rearranging that I dread. Some people may think it is so much fun to arrange girls' clothing! I feel different. It is stuff I have seen once or two times before and it takes up so much time. And then everything has to be put away and stored until the next season.

I am complaining today. Some tasks are not as fun as others. And I have gone through today all like, this sucks. Are we done yet? And we are. I finished just before quiet time.

One of my half-assed habits has reappeared. I have not taken the stuff all the way back down to the basement. Some of it is sitting on the stairs and some is at the bottom of the stairs. I figured I will wait until the Wee Ladies go to bed to finish the job.

How much do you want to bet Hubby will see the pile and accuse me of wanting to send him to the Marble Orchard before his time?

Would I like this task of rearranging closets better if all the clothes were brand new from some fun kids store?

What is going to happen when it comes to my closet? It will probably be February and my capri pants will still be hanging there; my flip flops by the door.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Am I complaining because I miss EvieG today? It's almost time to go and get her.

Labels: Chores, DDM, EvieG, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

I am staring at my flip flops that have been placed beside me on the computer desk. This is the sign that I am given by The Destroyer telling me that it is time to go somewhere. In the car.

We have a humorous and interesting morning trend that has developed recently. The Wee Ladies come down for breakfast. Once they have finished and I have completed the clean up, I am told. I am told that it is time to go.

I will be sipping my morning coffee and checking e-mail, when all of a sudden I get my shoes plopped down beside me. I look at her and ask if it is time to go out. She replies with her matter-of-fact, sharp, "Ya." And off she runs. She runs to the front door and reaches for her shoes. She sits down and attempts to get them on. This always fails and she gets up and removes EvieG's and Spark Plug's shoes from the mat. She runs each shoe to her sister, making that 4 trips back and forth. Clearly she doesn't want to stick around the house. Ok, then. Where do we go at 8:15 am?

We don't go far and I keep her guessing as far as our destination. The options are so abundant at this hour of the morning. We could go to my Mom's, or to the dry cleaners. Sometimes we go to the market, or the park. At least it is a bit of an outing. As long as she is in the van, she is quite content. I swear, if I had a window down for her and she had her way, she would for sure have her head sticking out.

Like a dog, waiting for its daily walk, or even a car ride, all I have to do is say, "You ready?" to which The Destroyer puts it in high gear and makes a run for the front door. Sometimes she forgets her shoes altogether and scratches anxiously at the door. And then when I open the door, she spills out onto the front porch like the fizz that runs over the rim of the glass when you have poured your Diet Coke too quickly. And she makes a sprint to the van. Off she goes, with her bead necklaces rattling the whole way. I always make sure I have the van door open, so she doesn't keep running to the street, which sometimes I think she might do. She climbs in herself and pulls herself into her car seat awaiting the lock down.

Sometimes we don't end up going anywhere. And so she spills out into the backyard. The funny thing is that when breakfast is over, it is time to go. Anywhere. Just out of the house.

She is a good traveler. She is great in the car too. She has had meltdowns, but it is always because she is tired and a small nap usually follows the crying.

I wonder if she has any place in particular in mind that she wants to go to? Or is it that she has had enough of sticking around the house and is telling me that we need to get a life? Probably the latter.

We have a life. A little bit. And we are getting more of a life each day. If it makes her happy, we can take our life off the premises for a little while. A change of scenery does us all some good.

Even if that means a drive around the block.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Sorry I am posting late today. I thought it would be fun to download a virus onto the computer today. I had to wait for Hubby to get home to save the day.

Labels: The Destroyer

It has been a long week with the Wee Ladies. We have been together all week; they have been together non-stop. We have had fun, but it has been busy. And by the end of the week, they are starting to get to each other. There's more complaining, less sharing, and more voiced annoyance. And then I start to get a little edgy.

Enter a good friend and fellow DDM. A girlfriend who lives down the street has 2 kids. One is in EvieG's class, and the other is Spark Plug's age. The younger 2 were in pre-school together last year. Anyway, she too has been home all week with her kids because Kindergarten starts next week for us. She called and asked us over for a playdate. Perfect timing and much needed. It saved me from completely losing my head and gave the energy to get to the end of the week.

As all Moms know, life with children is hectic. It is fun, but there are times when it can be trying. And while sometimes I feel like I am the only one who has a small bag of patience and feel guilty for holding that small bag, I feel a million times better when I can share these feelings with a friend and fellow Mom who has the same bag I do.

We all had a blast this morning. The kids had a grand time and the Moms had some moments of relief. We shared stories, laughs, coffee/tea, and I felt a real authentic bond with my pal. One that is unspoken, but understood. We got each other's backs.

There is no judgment here. Moms can sometimes get caught up in the whole world of criticizing and judging other Moms and the ways they handle their children. What is the point, really? It accomplishes nothing. We are all trying to do the best we can. I feel it is more positive and productive to help each other by supporting each other, rather than casting judgment. No one does things exactly the same and people view things differently. This is a good thing. We can learn from each other this way.

I love that we can help each other. We listen, verify, identify, and relate. These things are key when we are dealing with kids. If we try to go it alone, without venting and without expressing ourselves, then the frustration and feelings of inadequacy have an easier time of emerging and presenting themselves.

The time flew by. It was a perfect outing for us. And for that, I thank my pal. She and I are on the same page in so many ways. And this visit lifted me in a way that made me feel less alone. I like that I have friends I can turn to and who get it; friends who truly get the ins and outs of the days.

Moms really need each other, working or not. Because we are all in this motherhood thing together. It's nice to know that we got each other's backs.

The more we communicate, the more effective we are, and the better off everyone is.

I was given that reassuring energy today.

I hope my pal knows, along with all the other Mom friends I have, that I got your back, sister. Anytime.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS It's Friday and I wish everyone a fun weekend!

PPS Don't forget to check out and reserve a spot for our Girl's Night Out!

PPPS September's Who's DDM? is now up!

Labels: DDM, Guilt

The Wee Ladies were at each other from the moment they woke up today. I got through breakfast amid the many squawks and screeching. The phone rang a couple of times to which I got the old, "What's going on over there?" By 8:45 am, I had them ready for the park.

On days like this, they need to get out and run. They had some play time and had successfully rid themselves of some of the excess energy. But there was no way I was anywhere close to taking them back home. I decided it was time to run some quick errands. We all piled into the van and I headed to some local stores to drop of flyers for our Girl's Night Out dinner coming up.

What do you do with all the Wee Ladies in the van? Do you take them in and out of the vehicle and stores at every stop? I don't.

Sometimes I lock up the van and quickly run in, do what I have to do for a few seconds, and run back out. And it takes just a few seconds. The van is always within my line of sight. At other places where I have to park in a parking lot and walk some distance to go in, well, obviously I take them with me. But it is a lot to pack and unpack them all when out and about. This is why I don't go out very often.

The topic of dragging your kids with you at every single pit stop is a controversial one. Some Moms feel it very unsafe to keep their kids in a car alone for a few seconds any time. Some others do what I do sometimes and run in and run out. The point here is that common sense is a necessity. Weather permitting is one factor. Time frame and location is another. I am not leaving the Wee Ladies in the van if it's sweltering hot, absurdly cold, or if I can't see them. I will leave them in the van if I have to run into the bank machine quickly and the factors are firmly in place.

I always make sure I don't leave the keys in the van, or the doors unlocked. I remember hearing about my Mom going in for a quick stop to drop something off and leaving us in the car. I don't even think we were strapped into car seats. My older brother got into the driver's seat, put the car in reverse and ended up across the street in the neighbour's flower garden. Oh, the days of long ago.....

Three kids and limited help sometimes leaves little choice. Stuff has to get done and it can't all be done after dinner. I just have to plan accordingly.

We had a good morning of running around. The Wee Ladies exercised first and then enjoyed a cruise around town. They had calmed down and were much easier to get along with.

By the time we got home, they were ready for some grub, some more play time, followed by a good, solid nap.

We all feel cooped up every now and then. A little change of scenery can do everyone some good once in a while.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Don't forget to reserve a spot for our Girl's Night Out!

Labels: DDM, Responsibility

I have met my outing quota for the week. It is back to school and my babysitter just started high school. So it's me and the Wee Ladies. EvieG starts Kindergarten next week. We had to go out and get her a new backpack and a couple of back-to-school pieces.

I mean a couple pieces because that is all A) I had time for, because B) I was running on empty in the patience and sanity departments. Taking the three Wee Ladies anywhere is a chore, but toss them into the shoe section at Zellers and you are in for a swirling good time.

Our fridge has nothing but condiments in it because I am heavily procrastinating on the whole grocery store outing, and as I mentioned, I have reached my outing quota for the week. So I guess that means we resort to the canned goods (many kinds of beans and mandarin oranges) and the wide variety of Uncle Ben's so-called rice pilafs that have been sitting in the back of the pantry for the last 3 years.

Picking the backpacks was the first on the list. It should have been the last because it was the easiest of the tasks. EvieG picked yet another Princess backpack. We are now 2 for 2 on this backpack theme. Spark Plug had to feel she was a part of the game and she chose a Tinkerbell backpack. Does she even need one? Nope. But getting it for her just saved me from a meltdown extraordinaire. I had to strap The Destroyer down to the seat of the cart to avoid her falling and cracking her head open.

We then went for a walk through the aisles at cosmic speeds as we made our way to the clothing section. Here's where the inner diva in Spark Plug emerged and it was a big, blossoming, coming out party. Her new nickname is Shiny Accessory. We had glasses, bags, hair clips, hats, and anything that shined. It was like watching a fish swimming towards the sparkly lure. And she got caught every time, only the accessories were the ones being thrown back in.

We found EvieG a shirt and skirt. She tried to get me to buy her new socks and underwear. Yes, socks and underwear. Unlike her impractical sister, she goes for the things she probably needs most. And what a way to start a fresh school year. New stench free socks and gitch. Perfect. My kind of shopper. When I first proposed the whole back-to-school-shop, she just looked at me sullenly and said in a half moan, half pout, "Well, Mommy, I really don't like shopping very much." It was all you could do not to peel me off the ceiling... This moment brought to you by The Proud Moms Network.

The last phase of our outing was set in none other than the (my opinion here) dreaded and overstocked shoe department. I do not have the patience to outfit my Wee Ladies in shoes. It is a daunting and tedious task. I loathe it. I really have difficulties with anything shoe related when it comes to the Wee Ladies because I never know if it fits right. EvieG told me that a size 9, 10, and 11 were all, "Just right, Mom!" Crap.

By the end of our time with the soles and the Wee Ladies, I was done. And I looked into the cart only to find a pair of teeny tiny work boots, teenage sparkled fuchsia flats, adult sized bright red patent kitten heels, and a pair of Dora light-up running shoes.

As a sidebar, those shoes that shine a bright red light every time a kid takes a step effects me in a way that I am always on the verge of a seizure. They are the worst things ever. I once sent Hubby out to buy EvieG a pair of indoor shoes for school and he broke our household cardinal rule. NO LIGHT-UP SHOES ALLOWED ON THE FEET OF THE WEE LADIES. EVER. I almost had cardiac arrest when I saw them. I sent his butt back to the store for a FULL refund. And then I made him sign a statement swearing on his life that he would never, ever, even think about purchasing light-up shoes again.

Besides the wide array of colours and styles in the cart, there were multiple pairs of shoes surrounding us on the floor. And there are so many rows and columns of shoes, I never know where to return them. I get lost and overwhelmed as I stare at the multitude of plastic shoes. They all kind of blend in together. So I just end up messing up the depths of the Zellers shoe department, and as we leave, the employees are cursing at me all the way out the door.

By the time our mission was complete, I was at the point where Spark Plug had no shoes on and was insisting on staying to try on more. I began to walk away with the others and bid her adieu. She started screaming, "Mommy, wait! WAIT! WAIT, Mommy!" I just looked back over my shoulder and matter-of-factly replied, "Well then, let's go!" And she ran barefoot across the crusty floor to me where we got her own shoes back on.

I was right ready to kill someone at this point as EvieG wanted to dilly dally her way to the cashier, Spark Plug was ranting, and The Destroyer was strategizing her way out of the confines of the cart. Of course there were only 2 cash registers open. I mean what was that all about? It was already 9:00 for crying out loud. They should have at least 3 open. So I stood back and stared. Like waiting at the border, I had to pick the fastest, most efficient line. I usually fail miserably every time and get in the slowest line ever, but I had to make the right choice today. I had to get out of there.

I got behind a lady who was in the last moments of getting her stuff rung through. Once it was done, she was given her total. And then what did she do? COUNT OUT THE EXACT FRIGGING CHANGE! Ugh! She was taking forever! I was huffing and puffing annoyingly loud. By now EvieG was picking at the gum and chocolate bars, Spark Plug was playing in the empty cash register bagging area beside us, and The Destroyer was picking the taped signs off the wall. I kept maneuvering the cart to keep the little hands away, I got a hold of Spark Plug just as I was getting the stink eye from an old lady in the next line, and told EvieG no candy till after lunch.

Finally it was our turn. The stuff was rung through, HBC points and card offerings flatly and firmly denied, and debit done. I threw the bags into the cart and raced to the van. Everyone and everything was tossed in, I got into the drivers seat, started the van, and breathed a deep sigh of relief. What a chore that was!

Another mission complete.

Will I ever like going out ever again?

Cause right now it just plain old sucks.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Be sure to check out the info for our Girl's Night Out below. You can enter to win a free ticket to a night of great food, wine, and fun.

Labels: Battle, Chores, DDM, EvieG, Hubby, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

It only took a good friend of mine to tell me that Spark Plug's front teeth are looking a bit 'buckish'. Great. My lazy delay in losing the soother is giving my kid bucked teeth. My slacker ways are proving to be detrimental to my child's skeletal structure. We decided to kick this vice. All of us. We have now entered soother rehab.

We decided to move some beds around. Spark Plug and EvieG were sharing a room, but not sleeping well. The Destroyer goes to bed pretty early. In order for everyone to get more improved sleep, we made the switch. This way, The Destroyer goes to bed before the others and by the time Spark Plug and EvieG turn in, The Destroyer has gone to dreamland. EvieG has no one to play with and Spark Plug has some peace and quiet. Maybe it will help Spark Plug with her whining issues.

And so this was a perfect time to ditch the soother! The strategy was when Spark Plug moves into her own 'big girl' room, she won't need the soother any more! It was an instant decision. Ditch the soother when we switch the sleeping arrangements. Make a change all at once.

Now it was time for the visit from the Soo Soo Fairy. My friend told us about when the fairy came to their house. They hung the soothers from a tree and when the next morning rolled around the soothers were gone and there were little presents in the tree! How exciting! The kids were told that the Soo Soo Fairy takes the soothers to give them to other little babies who need them. So the kids doing some good by donating generously, but they also get rewarded for their kind deed. A win win.

But if you know Spark Plug, you know for sure that she would not for one second have anyone take her soothers and hang them on a tree, for crying out loud. She would just be like, What the hell do you think you are doing with those? Who on earth told you that it would be a good idea to hang my soothers in a tree? Are you people losing your minds? And then she would hoot and holler as she'd jump up to rip off any hanging soothers in order to save them from the elements and the squirrels. She would take her stash and bury them so only she would know their whereabouts. Hanging them from a tree would be enough to send her into the loony bin.

We know our girl well. We were smart. We decided not to hang them from a tree. Instead we explained to her using a fairy book and pictures of babies, that the fairy was coming to take them to give them away to the babies who need them, and that she won't be needing those any more. Her reaction? She was cool. She was down with that. And she only asked for a soother a couple of times.

To take the soother from Spark Plug meant taking it from The Destroyer too. If we don't take it from both, they would just end up stealing each others. So now 2 Wee Ladies are suffering withdrawal. And what about EvieG? How would she be recognized? Would she get any presents? Or would she be left out because she doesn't use a soother?

As a good biggest sister, EvieG set out the dish of soothers on the patio table after the others went to bed. We discussed her role of 'Soo Soo Patrol'. I know for a fact that we didn't have all the soothers in the dish. So as a Soo Soo Patroller, she would find any remaining soothers, give them to me, and then place them out for the fairy to pick up during one of her fly-bys.

The beds were moved, the Wee Ladies slept, and they even slept in for once. Good move on the switch. There was no real fuss made about wanting a soother, thank goodness. When EvieG woke up, she saw a pile of gifts outside the bedroom doors. One pile for The Destroyer and one for Spark Plug. She was slightly hurt and disappointed, but not completely distraught. She said, "I guess the Soo Soo Fairy forgot that there are three of us." I reassured her by telling her that maybe there is something lying around for her, and she just hasn't found it yet. That perked her up a bit.

She entered the kitchen to find a nice bag of goodies and a note for her. The note read:

Dear EvieG:

You are such a great big sister!
If you find any more soo soos, just leave them out for me. I will fly by and get them.
Thanks for your help!
Love, The Soo Soo Fairy xxxooo

She was over the moon. Now she has embraced her job as Soo Soo Patroller.

And she found one in The Destroyer's mouth this morning. Crap.

How did that get in there? I guess at midnight last night, the Soo Soo Fairy couldn't take the crying and had a relapse.

I took it and thanked her for doing a diligent job. I hid it away in an accessible location so Spark Plug will never see it.

Some vices are harder to get rid of than others.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, DDM, EvieG, Family, Spark Plug, The Destroyer