Spark Plug started nursery school in our new town today. I just dropped her off. She is thrilled. As I was getting all of her paper work in order, I noticed that, of course, I needed to record her health card number. I opened my wallet and looked in the spot where I keep all of our health cards. Hers is the only one missing. Missing! How can this be? I used it last week when we registered with our new doctor! I called the office and she told me it wasn't there. Crap. She gave me the info I needed and I started searching around. When did I have it last? Oh! Maybe when I cleaned out my wallet last week! I searched through the couch, found an old battery and business card, but no health card. Crap. This means I have to call the Ministry of Health and get a new one.

The Destroyer is missing a Sorel winter boot, of all things. One boot. I didn't realize until I went to get her dressed. I didn't notice one was missing. The last time we had two was coming out of Boston Pizza over the weekend. I walked with her but I didn't bring her in the house myself. Could she have lost it when she was put in the van? We lost Doggy when her side of the van was opened. I went into the restaurant but no such luck. So we are out about $30.

I get the same irritated feeling when I return all of the library books only to find out the next time we check out that I have racked up 10 bucks in overdue charges because somewhere in the squalor of our home, a book is hiding. Or like the time you go to rent a DVD only to find out the last movie was returned without the DVD inside. Just the case made it back and you have to pay late charges on that too.

They get you coming and going. And they use my motherly absent-mindedness as leverage. They know that we moms cannot keep our lives straight and that among the chaos of the day, we are guaranteed to let something go. That is when they pounce. They quietly let the charges rack up and without warning, we feel as if we have been bulldozed over as the current late charges are announced to us with a smile.

Come on! Couldn't someone have called me?

This is just as bad as having to waste half a day on hold with the Ministry as a new card is ordered, or spending half a day searching through every cupboard, pocket, and drawer trying to locate the lost item. Or going out and re-purchasing something that has been lost. Like the Sorels. Another 30 bucks. I feel like I have lost my mind in situations like these.

You know what's going to happen. After getting a new one and going through the process, I am going to find the lost health card under the driver's seat after it fell out as I was getting my morning coffee. Or behind the toilet because one of the Wee Ladies put it there after going through my purse when I wasn't looking. And I bet I find the Sorel too after we buy new boots. In EvieG's fortress, in my underwear basket. With the bread sticks and hummus.

All's I'm sayin's all.