I always enjoy multiple generations sitting around the table chatting. I love listening to the different perspectives. We had a long lunch. Over our chicken pot pie, Cole Slaw for Nana, mixed greens, followed by Nan's banana bread and whipped cream, we talked about all sorts of girl stuff, but mainly motherhood and marriage. We discussed how different people cope with adjusting to these life events from this multi-generation perspective. 

Some of the conversation covered self-centredness and how this can pose a problem as a new parent/spouse. We agreed that the transition for some seems to be more difficult, especially having had time to go to school and establish a certain lifestyle on one's own. When another person or a baby enters the picture, some people have a hard time sharing their life, compromising, or cutting back in certain areas to accommodate these changes.

Roles were defined back in the day between men and women and now that these roles have shifted, it can become challenging to work as a team/family unit, especially if the adults are both working. Who does what? How is life balanced out? What are the exact expectations between spouses if only one is working? It can be a struggle, no doubt.

Financial responsibility always seems to be an issue in most homes regardless of how many are working out of the house. It is a struggle to establish boundaries sometimes when one partner may be the sole breadwinner. How is the stay-at-home partner to be productive and what and how are they supposed to contribute and how does that effect the relationship? Where is the give and the take? Who is entitled to spend the income and in what way?

The key we agreed is communication. From our conversation, it seems that communication may be at the heart of getting through the transition successfully. Spouses/partners need to discuss things consistently, otherwise resentment, guilt, and frustration emerge which can obviously lead to problems. Without communication, something is bound to go awry and serious issues will eventually come to light, which makes the adjustment that much more difficult. Expressing thoughts, feelings, and perspectives can keep things in check. The relationship can grow positively and with understanding and mutual respect and hopefully any self-centredness will subside.

If only it were that easy.

I am glad my family came to visit today. The Wee Ladies had fun. I had fun. I love that we live in our new town and can visit with so many more people more often than we did before. 

I look forward to more afternoons like this one. And to the next 365 days.

All's I'm sayin's all.