1. They watch way too much Disney and Barbie.

2. Spark Plug has exorbitant amounts of estrogen pumping through her.

3. The Destroyer could marry the toaster and be perfectly happy.

Spark Plug used the princess play make-up that Grandma and Grandpa gave her to properly prepare her sister for her official send-off. Brushing her hair, putting on some rouge, smothering her eyelids in violet. Good thing there were no real products being applied, otherwise I would have covered her up with a scarf and brought her in for a bath.

It occurred to me that The Destroyer had no idea where the wedding was to take place and to who she was to accept as her partner for life. I decided to ask her myself.

DDM: So, what are you doing today?

TheD: I'm getting mayweed.

DDM: Oh! Sounds fun! Who are you marrying?

Pause.

As she turned around and faced me, she looked at me with her wide, gap-toothed grin and bright baby blues. She held out the hot pink princess...

TheD: Hair dwyer!

All's I'm sayin's all.