Friday, May 2, 2008

Mommy Drill Sergeant

What does it take to lead a Combined Joint Task Force? A Drill Sergeant. Someone who can keep everyone in line. Someone who has an extraordinary sense of organization. Someone who can fire orders and demand a quick response. Someone who can repeat themselves and increase their decibel level each time. Someone who can multi-task with their eyes shut. That is me most of the time. Mommy Drill Sergeant.

It takes a Mommy Drill Sergeant to keep a house in order and children in line. I line them all up in the morning side by side and demand they stand at attention. With their backs straight and chins up, they stand while looking straight ahead and wait for the orders. I shout, "EvieG, get dressed. Spark Plug, brush your hair. Destroyer...stand still." They reply in unison, "Yes, Mom!" And off they go while I move through the house in a whirlwind like the Tasmanian Devil getting everything up to snuff.

In reality, I find that I bark orders all day long. And I think I repeat those orders over and over again. It gets to the point where I feel like I should put the lot of them through Boot Camp. "EvieG, I said get your coat on 5 times now! Drop and give me 5! Not only because I have asked five times, but because you are almost 5!" I get so irritated when I find myself repeating orders. I can't even begin to count the number of times I order, "Let's go!" and "Come on!" in a day.

EvieG dawdles. I always tell her to stop dilly-dallying and just do what I ask. It doesn't seem to always work. She takes forever it seems to get things done that I ask her to do. Simple things like getting dressed or getting her shoes on. Not only that, but every day we go through the old, "Stay in your seat when you eat!" I say this probably a half a dozen times during each meal and snack. The only time she really listens and responds is when Mommy Drill Sergeant comes out in full fury. Not only does she have to deal with the wrath of the Officer on Duty, but she suffers with the loss of a privilege. Like the computer. I never take away books, because I don't believe that is positive. But I will take away TV (Oh, no!) or movie time. She is crushed when this happens and it doesn't happen often, usually because she listens after I threaten the loss of the privilege. That is how it works. I threaten and she listens. Or I count to 5 before the threat ever presents itself.

Threats work well. I always used to say before EvieG was born that I would never threaten because I felt it wasn't productive. I thought that it was empty language which would just upset her with no positive outcome. Because you have to follow through. If there is no follow through with a threat, well then it is all just null and void.

I succumbed to laying down the threats. We threaten. We threaten to take things away, threaten to not go certain places like the park. We do follow through most of the time, but sometimes we forget. So it ends up never happening. I know for a fact that I have threatened to take computer away for the entire duration of the following day. EvieG gets upset and I repeat to her why it is happening. The next day comes along and after she has been playing on the computer for 15 minutes, I suddenly realize, "Hey! She wasn't supposed to be on there!" Whether or not she remembered is undetermined. I suspect she did remember and got away with it. Those darn kids!

The threats that occur now are the early stages of what grounding will be. When they are older, the threats will still be there but the privileges will change. We won't let them hang out with their friends, go to a party, or other social event. And definitely no slumber parties with their friends. I bet they will bounce back into line faster than they do now! They won't have done their chores and I will say, "So I understand there is a birthday party you want to go to on the weekend," and all I will see is dust as they fly up the stairs or out the door to do what they need to do. Mommy Drill Sergeant still in power.

When the orders aren't being obeyed, threats work. And if I have to repeat myself too many times I get severely ornery. They don't like it when I am ornery. I don't like it when I get ornery. So most often times they listen after a couple of repeats. Because it is at that point that my eyes get big, my voice loud, and the hair raises on my back. They duck away from me and run as fast as their little feet will take them to the front door to put their coats and shoes on. So I usually don't have to threaten. But there are lots of times when I do, and I am not ashamed for doing it.

Because if it gets the job done and they know who's BOSS and who's running the show, then it is a threat well served. Mommy Drill Sergeant, Master of Threats.

All's I'm sayin's all.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading! I will be posting again on Monday for the week. Please come back to read more tales from the zoo.

For some reason getting them ready and out the door seemed like it took forever. EvieG was running around, The Destroyer ran away from me whenever possible, and Spark Plug threw hissy fits when I tried to get her dressed which resulted in her banging her head on my jaw and then I bit my tongue. I was pissed.

I got seriously agitated and used my mommy voice to get them all standing in line side by side, arms tightly hugging their torsos and feet together. It didn't take on for them to figure out that I meant business. There would be no more dilly-dallying.

I always feel guilty for getting all drill sergeant on them, but sometimes I have to when I need to get stuff done. Guilt aside, it does feel good knowing that they understand that it probably is not a good idea to mess with mom when her fuse gets short. And so they listened, followed directions, and we were then able to efficiently accomplish the morning tasks.

Bed time is another time when my fuse can get short, although I am learning to let it slide. The Destroyer and Spark Plug insist on playing and messing around in their room until, well, until they fall down. I can put them back into their beds 80 million times but they still play. Blankets all over, stuffed animals thrown about. The Destroyer opens the door and peeks her eye through the crack. I hear her sucking on her soother. I did get annoyed that they were not going to bed and that they were disturbing everyone in the house, but on the other hand, I figure, at least they are playing together well. It means that our night is that much shorter.

It is hard to keep my cool some days, especially when I am hormonal. I find that those days my tolerance level is not close to zero. I have to keep telling myself to take it easy, breathe, and that they are only wee.

I have let my fuse get to its end. Some days I can only take so much before I feel fried. As much as I feel badly about it, I get over it pretty easily. We're moms. We don't have time to dwell.

All's I'm sayin's all.

DDM: Your birthday is next! 

Spark Plug: It's my birfday?

DDM: Yes! Your birthday! It is going to be fun! It was my birthday and now it is your turn!

Spark Plug: Me?

DDM: Yep. And we are going to have a party and a cake. And everything is going to be tulips! We are going to have tulips everywhere!

Spark Plug: But Mommy- you have 2 wips. Right dere! (she points to my mouth and touches my lips)

Hysterical laughter from all....

DDM: Ohhhhh, not two lips on my mouth.....tu-lips the flowers!

Spark Plug: I have 2 wips!

DDM: Yes. Yes, you do.

I bet that the Spring tulips smell way better than the morning breath that accompanied my 2 wips.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a great weekend. We are busy decorating for Easter, planning Spark Plug's tu-wip party and catching chipmunks....

I always enjoy multiple generations sitting around the table chatting. I love listening to the different perspectives. We had a long lunch. Over our chicken pot pie, Cole Slaw for Nana, mixed greens, followed by Nan's banana bread and whipped cream, we talked about all sorts of girl stuff, but mainly motherhood and marriage. We discussed how different people cope with adjusting to these life events from this multi-generation perspective. 

Some of the conversation covered self-centredness and how this can pose a problem as a new parent/spouse. We agreed that the transition for some seems to be more difficult, especially having had time to go to school and establish a certain lifestyle on one's own. When another person or a baby enters the picture, some people have a hard time sharing their life, compromising, or cutting back in certain areas to accommodate these changes.

Roles were defined back in the day between men and women and now that these roles have shifted, it can become challenging to work as a team/family unit, especially if the adults are both working. Who does what? How is life balanced out? What are the exact expectations between spouses if only one is working? It can be a struggle, no doubt.

Financial responsibility always seems to be an issue in most homes regardless of how many are working out of the house. It is a struggle to establish boundaries sometimes when one partner may be the sole breadwinner. How is the stay-at-home partner to be productive and what and how are they supposed to contribute and how does that effect the relationship? Where is the give and the take? Who is entitled to spend the income and in what way?

The key we agreed is communication. From our conversation, it seems that communication may be at the heart of getting through the transition successfully. Spouses/partners need to discuss things consistently, otherwise resentment, guilt, and frustration emerge which can obviously lead to problems. Without communication, something is bound to go awry and serious issues will eventually come to light, which makes the adjustment that much more difficult. Expressing thoughts, feelings, and perspectives can keep things in check. The relationship can grow positively and with understanding and mutual respect and hopefully any self-centredness will subside.

If only it were that easy.

I am glad my family came to visit today. The Wee Ladies had fun. I had fun. I love that we live in our new town and can visit with so many more people more often than we did before. 

I look forward to more afternoons like this one. And to the next 365 days.

All's I'm sayin's all.

I feel popular today. Family and friends are guaranteed to call you to acknowledge this momentous day and if they forget, they feel like crap. So birthdays are great for connecting with those in your inner circle.

It is the other people who really take it a step up and make you feel like you're 'all that'. The people who you don't talk with on a regular basis reach out to tell you that they are thinking of you. People are going out of their way to send their best to you. You feel like the cool kid in school for a little while because of the attention being paid to you, only in school you were wanting the attention to stay a bit longer than one day. Or remember candy grams or the Valentine carnation fundraiser where you sent cards or flowers or candy canes to all your friends for $0.50 each and you were always hoping to receive more than just 2? And you secretly wanted the most candy grams out of all your friends? It was all those other people who sent you the candy canes who you didn't really spend time with, who made your spirits lift because you knew they were thinking of you. It was a given that your immediate circle of friends would send you one.

Well, that is a birthday these days. A quick glimpse back to those days where the well wishes come in from everywhere, mainly thanks to Facebook. Today I feel like I am getting more candy grams than everyone else.

Today is my birthday, but it is a regular day. The Wee Ladies carry on as usual; we keep going according to our schedule. It doesn't feel any different than any other day. There is no time really. I am folding laundry and doing dishes and running errands. EvieG is at school and Spark Plug at nursery school this afternoon. As each year passes, I think less about the birthday because it means I am one year older. I don't feel sorry for myself, I just feel like I have to keep going; to keep everything on the rails. Hubby makes sure that we take a bit of time to celebrate. He gave me a massage gift card for a local spa. He is so thoughtful.

For a busy mom, it feels good to be popular for the day. It feels good knowing that others are thinking of you for once and you aren't doing all of the thinking-about-others-business. It is nice that the focus shifts in mom's general direction. Because we all know that it sometimes doesn't feel like it happens very often.

I'll take it. And I will enjoy it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

I was excited about this whole idea of no nap and the freedom it could bring, but now I am not so sure.

I still have a head cold and feel exhausted. Maybe I should have some blood work done.

I am moving through today one step at a time.

Is it bed time yet?

All's I'm sayin's all.

I have a horrible head cold right now and it has become worse each day this week. It is March Break and all of the Wee Ladies are home. Thank goodness my MIL has been with us all week. This has allowed some down time and extra rest here and there. The fog isn't as thick, but there is still a dense haze.

I have been really exhausted these past few weeks. It seems to be extra challenging with the Wee Ladies and without a lot of help, the exhaustion has caught up with me and I am feeling run down. Now I am really dragging with this cold.

Yesterday I got out to get waxed. I get my brows and bikini done. I was a hairy beast and way overdue. I went and got it done without problems. Hair ripping aside, it was nice to get out of the house for a bit. My MIL gave me a pedicure so I had that too.

After I got home and got the Wee Ladies into bed, it was time for me to get into my pajamas and have some rest time. It wasn't a great sleep as I was up snorting Dristan every hour and blowing my nose and snarfling as I breathed through my mouth. Throat sore, mouth pasty and dry, I tried not to snore. Anyway, as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed something. Something that screamed HAZE. I noticed my underwear was on inside-out. The same gitch I had on while getting waxed. They weren't even nice undies. No, they were the old white Hanes Her Way underwear I have had for a long time. I don't own any decent gitch.

How did this look to the lady doing my waxing? I am a horrible, grubby, hot mess who can't even put her friggin' underwear on properly.

This is what happens when we get overtired. Stuff like this. We try to keep it all together but as we fight mommy brain and colds, something is bound to go off course. In this case, my gitch. Slob. 

And then when I had the pedicure, I forgot that my pants had to be rolled up to my knees. Ugh. My legs. My very hairy legs. Slug.

I had to apologize to the three individuals in my proximity for the awfulness of my legs. Especially to the lady doing the pedicure, who was in fact the same lady to do my waxing. She told me that the hairy legs were nothing to worry about; that she sees it all the time. She never mentioned anything about the underwear. She never admitted to seeing the tag hanging out with washing instructions for the whole world to read.

As I sniffled and snorted with Kleenex hanging out of my hands, she was likely thinking, What an unsexy beast. That poor husband of hers.

Hey, at least I had my lip waxed too so I am not a total She-Man beast.

Will the haze ever clear?

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a good weekend! I am having dinner with my girls tonight! I am looking forward to adding a whole new layer to my current haze! Cocktails all around! I will be back on Monday and will make sure my gitch is on the right way.

It is all sorts of sweets that capture the attention of the Wee Ladies. If there is bright colour, shiny anything, or a box that shakes, well then we have guaranteed, "Mom, I want...." I wonder what would happen if I gave them a box of Thrills gum? That might be quite humourous to witness.

But the one thing that sends a kid into a frenzy is the old, been-sitting-at-the-end-of-the-checkout-for-2-decades-in-a-barrel bouquet of suckers. Those lollipops that are tied together and wrapped in bunches of 5 or 6. You know the ones I mean? The suckers that are wrapped in cellophane and are right beside you as you put your items on the counter to be scanned? And if you have kids with you, they always ask for them. I know I did when I was a kid.

The answer was always no.

I never understood why the answer was always no. Why couldn't we have the suckers for later? I understood that we sometimes went through the checkout before candy was allowed, but we could have it after lunch! We would be saving mom another trip by buying 5 suckers at once! We didn't have to eat them all in one sitting; I knew that. She never, ever let us have the suckers. She never gave in.

I am repeating the same pattern. I always say no.

How stale are they? Do they have traces of nuts? How much sugar is in them? Are they made in China? All of these things we modern moms think of.

The real reason? I don't want to be that mom. 

The reality of the situation is you get to the checkout, the kid spots the suckers and goes ballistic. "Mooooommmm! Can I have those? Can I? I love those suckers! Look at the colours! I really want them!"

"Not today."

"But why mom? Why?"

"Because I said so. It is too early for those."

"I want them, mom! Moooommm, I want the candy!"

I don't want to be that mom who gives into her kid's every want.

These candies turn even the nicest child into a monster. The face gets red, the tears and snot starts running, the feet stomp, and the voice raises a few octaves more than usual.

This is not my child. I am not with this person. I don't know who this is....where is your mommy, dear?

The cashier always looks at the adult in the situation with a look of both sympathy and annoyance. I notice that they scan the last few objects faster, knowing that the adult wants out and they too want you gone. 

Statistics must say that more candy is sold at the checkout, otherwise they wouldn't have it there. So that means moms give in more times than not?

Once the whiny child and parent leave, all of the cashiers get together and pull out their tally chart, checking off and analyzing who is closest to winning the case of beer at the end of the week by guessing how many tantrums there would be. Or the chart tallying the number of moms who actually give in.

If I were the cashier, that's what I would do. Or I would look the kid straight in the eyes and talk through gritted teeth, "You better listen to your mom kid. You better stop that nonsense or I will call security. You don't want that, do you?"

You know that the mom would look and breathe a sigh of relief while mouthing the words, THANK YOU as she grabs her kid and her bags, kicks the barrel of suckers, and exits the premises.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Thanks to Nenny with Twins for the great posts! Love you!

One evening after dinner, our Wee Westie Basil thought it was time to have a vacation. He was in much need for some fresh air and camaraderie. EvieG opened the door to the back to go outside and play for a while and the dog went with her. She came in after a few minutes; he did not.

He explored the world around him and made friends with those walking their leashed dogs on the surrounding roads and trails. He sniffed people's patios and did his business on someone's lawn. It was so liberating for him. He felt free. Like  he was a whole new dog with the world at the tips of his claws. With his head held high, his 2008 license and previous phone number, he skipped along acquainting himself with the local neighbourhood and its inhabitants.

He befriended one distant neighbour who agreed to temporarily take him in. This expedition was one with a social focus. Why not play with some new friends? This so-called friend was one who was not supportive of dog exploration. They thought it would be a good idea for Basil's adventure to end with a night's accommodation at the doggie hotel. A night away with other animal friends was the perfect solution to his desire to have some time to himself.

And so a call to animal control was made.

After locating Basil at the doggie hotel, his family went in the morning to pick him up and return him home.

He was happy to see his family and realized that he had in fact missed them. He was thankful for his adventure and mini-vacation, but was relieved to go home to his bed and bowl of kibble.

His mom paid the $30 for his one night accommodation and $20 for his entrance into the local doggie database. The hotel manager was kind enough not to charge for his mini-bar snacks or room service. And she did not charge for his traveling expenses. The dog-at-large fees would have been $110.

She warned that because he was new to the area, she would let it go. This time. Next time, she would have to charge him. If he traveled a third time, well then, she would see us in court to remind us that his passport was no longer valid.

While I can certainly understand his need to get away, I hope that he does not go without his proper identification. And I can think of a few nicer places to spend the night, if that's what he's looking for. I know that I would prefer 4 or 5 stars to 1 or 2. 

While it is great to have time to yourself, it always feels good to come home. Even if at times we can all feel stifled with the chaos that sometimes occurs within our four walls.

After a night away, I always love coming home to my life with the Wee Ladies. There is nothing like the loving greeting I receive. The next time I go away, I need to remember to get my license renewed. I don't want to spend a night behind bars like Basil because I could not present up-to-date ID and registration.

The $30 I was going to use for the replacement Sorels for The Destroyer was used instead to pay for Basil's bail. There's always something.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a great weekend! I am off for a few days for March Break with the Wee Ladies and will not be blogging until Next Thursday. Nenny with Twins has been kind enough to take the reins for most of next week. Thanks to her!

They are always 2 steps behind when noticing things. I will see a stream and will announce, "Oh, look at the river out my side of the van!" To which they reply, "Where? Where?" And then I will say, "Right out mommy's side! Look out there!" And then we pass it. 20 seconds later, Spark Plug will ask, "Where's the river? I don't see it?" I regretfully say, "Sorry, honey, we passed it already."

"Awwwwww!" they sing in unison.

I will try it again.

"Hey look! A deer! Look outside Daddy's side!"

"Where? Where? I can't see it!" they will holler.

"Right off the side of the road!"

EvieG will then demand I pull over. "Pull over, mom! Slow down! We want to see it!"

I will have to explain that there is a truck behind me and I can't.

And we pass. Again, they missed it.

A couple of minutes later, Spark Plug will say, "Where's the deer?" 

This happens all the time. All-the-time. And I laugh because it is hilarious to see the delayed reactions, but I realize they must get frustrated trying to see what I see. Still, it is pretty funny to hear the where is it? question 2 miles after the fact.

If it is safe, I will pull over, or even turn around to give them a chance to see it.

They always see the skiers when I point them out. There is no way they can miss that because I give them ample warning to look out the window at the side of the mountain and because the surface area of the ski hill is so huge, they see it every time.

The Destroyer doesn't really care what see looks at. She pretends to be interested but ends up looking out the opposite window to where we are all looking. 

I will shout, "Hey! Look out my side! I see apple trees!" EvieG and Spark Plug will see them and get all excited. The Destroyer will look out the opposite side and yell, "Appoes!" Most often, she looks around but continues to mind her own business, looking at things on her own.

She sometimes points stuff out to us. She will shout, "Wat-air! Wat-air!" We look out her side and see the bay. We praise her for being so observant.

I love exploring with the Wee Ladies. It is so much fun getting them all riled up and excited about checking things out. I want them to be observant; to notice the land and things around them. I want them to be aware of their surroundings all the time. I think it's important.

Even if they miss it by a few miles.

All's I'm sayin's all.

I thought I had a pebble in my shoe over the weekend. When I looked to see it, I turned my boot over and found EvieG's lucky penny! I made a wish on it too because that is what you are supposed to do. Hubby and I will randomly look and find various objects hidden around the house. In our boots and shoes, in a cupboard, or drawer, we will find things.

You are probably wondering how we could have possibly missed noticing one of her boots was gone. How did she get into the car to begin with? Did she not have 2 boots on when we left? How did I lose a boot between the house and well, the house? I will tell you.

The Destroyer has a habit of removing her boots, mitts, hat, and even socks whole she is sitting in her car seat staring at the countryside. I usually collect the items from the floor of the van and re-dress her before we exit the vehicle. Sometimes though, we carry her into the house and I collect all of her stuff during a second trip and bring it inside. Last weekend, we missed the fact that she came in with only one boot on.

I couldn't figure out for the life of me where we could have lost it. We went to a restaurant for dinner on Saturday but I know for a fact that she walked to the van. I didn't remember going anywhere she could have lost it.

I was wrong. We did go somewhere else. On Sunday. We went for a Sunday Drive. We were heading down the highway and spotted some deer. Hubby pulled over so the Wee Ladies could see them. In order to make the line of vision absolutely clear for them, Hubby opened The Destroyer's side of the van. We gawked at the deer, The Destroyer squealed and off they ran into the forest. Hubby closed the door and off we went.

When we got home we carried her into the house, not realizing she only had on one boot that she removed herself upon entering the house. I did see only one boot at the door, but assumed that the other was upstairs or behind the couch. It happens. It wasn't until we got ready to go the following day that we realized that one was indeed MIA. 

I went into the restaurant only to be told no boot. I had zero recollection of our Sunday Drive or the fact that Hubby opened the door.

Here we are today- driving down the same stretch of highway. I pulled my usual, "See any deer out there?" All of a sudden, Hubby quickly pulled over. He said, "I don't see any deer, but I do see something we're missing!" I turned around in shock thinking a buckle on a car seat was undone, a window or door was open; that something was drastically wrong with the Wee Ladies. He wouldn't say a word and I was in panic mode, demanding he tell me what was wrong. He said, "Just wait and see!"

He backed the van up and told me to get out and look on the ground. Finally, it hit me. Last weekend's Sunday Drive filled my memory and I remembered the door opening.

The boot! There it was! On the gravel shoulder of a busy highway! Intact too!

I was thrilled. I yelled, "Yay! We just saved $30!"

I couldn't believe it. We went out in search of deer and found our lost boot instead. Did I mention it was on the side of the HIGHWAY? How random. And I am so glad Hubby noticed it lying there among the Tim Horton's cups and banana peels. I didn't see it. I was too busy staring in the woods. 

What a way to end the week. $30 richer.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Sorry for the late post. Aunt Nancy was here visiting today! We always love seeing her.

PPS Can't wait for Nenny with Twins and Auntie Missy to visit today! The three of us are hanging out together and heading on over to a local spa tomorrow for some hot tubbing and lunch! Without kids! 

Have a great weekend!

Oh, and PPPS The Who's DDM? for March is up if you haven't checked it out yet.

I clean every week from top to bottom. But I find that it takes most of the day because things are so all over the place by the time this day arrives. The laundry is backed up, the upstairs looks like a disaster with clothes all over, stuffed animals, books, and crayons.

I tidy most evenings but this is where things go awry. I check out every night between 7:00 and 8:00. I find that I get the Wee Ladies bathed and ready for bed and by the time there is quiet, the last thing I want to do is tidy and clean up. And so the piles begin to form.

I get so irritated with myself with this cycle. I come downstairs the next morning after getting the Wee Ladies dressed and ready. I myself am not ready and usually still in my PJs. I look around and feel my blood pressure rise as I see cereal bowls, water glasses, the odd beer bottle, toys, messes. Why is it not clean?

Because I convinced myself that I would take care of it in the morning, forgetting that it is the last thing I want to do as I get everyone ready to leave. I am torturing myself.

The week goes on and I continue my damage control. Come Thursday, I give the whole place the what-for. It feels good afterwards, but I hate that I have just wasted half the day cleaning and putting things away.

How do I get myself out of this vicious cycle? More caffeine? Help!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Spark Plug started nursery school in our new town today. I just dropped her off. She is thrilled. As I was getting all of her paper work in order, I noticed that, of course, I needed to record her health card number. I opened my wallet and looked in the spot where I keep all of our health cards. Hers is the only one missing. Missing! How can this be? I used it last week when we registered with our new doctor! I called the office and she told me it wasn't there. Crap. She gave me the info I needed and I started searching around. When did I have it last? Oh! Maybe when I cleaned out my wallet last week! I searched through the couch, found an old battery and business card, but no health card. Crap. This means I have to call the Ministry of Health and get a new one.

The Destroyer is missing a Sorel winter boot, of all things. One boot. I didn't realize until I went to get her dressed. I didn't notice one was missing. The last time we had two was coming out of Boston Pizza over the weekend. I walked with her but I didn't bring her in the house myself. Could she have lost it when she was put in the van? We lost Doggy when her side of the van was opened. I went into the restaurant but no such luck. So we are out about $30.

I get the same irritated feeling when I return all of the library books only to find out the next time we check out that I have racked up 10 bucks in overdue charges because somewhere in the squalor of our home, a book is hiding. Or like the time you go to rent a DVD only to find out the last movie was returned without the DVD inside. Just the case made it back and you have to pay late charges on that too.

They get you coming and going. And they use my motherly absent-mindedness as leverage. They know that we moms cannot keep our lives straight and that among the chaos of the day, we are guaranteed to let something go. That is when they pounce. They quietly let the charges rack up and without warning, we feel as if we have been bulldozed over as the current late charges are announced to us with a smile.

Come on! Couldn't someone have called me?

This is just as bad as having to waste half a day on hold with the Ministry as a new card is ordered, or spending half a day searching through every cupboard, pocket, and drawer trying to locate the lost item. Or going out and re-purchasing something that has been lost. Like the Sorels. Another 30 bucks. I feel like I have lost my mind in situations like these.

You know what's going to happen. After getting a new one and going through the process, I am going to find the lost health card under the driver's seat after it fell out as I was getting my morning coffee. Or behind the toilet because one of the Wee Ladies put it there after going through my purse when I wasn't looking. And I bet I find the Sorel too after we buy new boots. In EvieG's fortress, in my underwear basket. With the bread sticks and hummus.

All's I'm sayin's all.

She and Spark Plug played up there for a while on and off over the weekend. They had it blockaded off to prevent intruders. They had belts and Hubby's ties stretching from one side to the other. She set up beds in our underwear and socks baskets; complete with pillows and blankets. They were even kind enough to let The Destroyer in for a second, but quickly dismissed her, fearing the fort would be ruined.

I love watching imaginative play and I love that they are playing together more and more. Sometimes they close the door and play nicely in their room. And when I open the door to check on them, they shout, "No, Mommy!" and slam the door in my face. Nenny with Twins just experienced the shut out for the first time recently. They want their privacy already. What is going to happen when they are teenagers? Am I going to have to text them to come for dinner? Heaven forbid I knock politely and peek my head in. I will make sure that if there are any boys over, that the door stays open and we apply the two-feet-on-the-floor-at-all-times-rule.

It is not fun though when they start getting stir crazy and they get all silly. It is like they have been stuck in a cage for a month and are begging to be freed. They begin to cackle, their eyes get big, and they jump from room to room declaring that they are frogs jumping from lily pad to lily pad. And they start singing songs to get each other giggling and know that if they use any words like stinky and bum, that they are guaranteed to get a reaction from their sisters who are rolling around on the floor and their mother who is wagging her finger in their face.

Today the temperature is still bitterly cold. Too cold to be out for more than 5 minutes, especially when The Destroyer is inevitably going to remove her hat and mitts to stomp around. I am always finding a trail in her wake. I don't think I will ever be able to lose sight of her.

We went to our local Early Years Centre this morning and the Wee Ladies played and romped around for an hour and a half. It was perfect. They could unleash some energy and I had the chance to hang out with other moms. It's nice to have a place like this available for us. It is a great way for socializing. I know that I get stir crazy too sometimes and I always feel guilty the days where we stay inside all day.

As I was cleaning up the fortress I noticed that I am going to have to get the vacuum in there. They decided to serve some appetizers. I see the left over bread stick crumbs.

I just hope I don't find the tub of hummus in my underwear basket.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Congrats to Lisa M, Cheryl W, Stephanie H, Mary T, and Candace P for winning the 5 Green-School totes! I hope you love it!

PPS This month's Who's DDM? will be up and running ASAP. Keep checking back!