Dress Down Moms

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2010-04-16T08:33:00.001-04:00

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Taking a break

2010-04-06T20:21:00.003-04:00

It is April and we have just finished with Spark Plug's 4th birthday and Easter with family. It was busy but great to have everyone here. We are getting ready for another move this month which will have me cleaning, painting and packing.

I am writing today to thank everyone for reading this blog for the past 2 years. It has been so much fun writing. I am not done with writing but I am going to take a break from the blog for a while. I am finding it difficult to keep up with and am preoccupied with the Wee Ladies on a daily basis. As they grow, they are becoming very good at insisting the minutes are filled with all sorts of things throughout the day. There are no more naps. There is a lot of running around after them and then by the end of the day and I ready to pass out and it is not because I drank too much.

I will continue to write the Who's DDM each month and will also be catching up on some reviews. I will also be adding to those as well. So there will still be some activity, just not a regular blog.

I hope that this site has provided a few laughs and a few sighs of relief. This mom gig has made for a crazy existence and it is nice to know that there are other people going through the same things.

Thanks for all of your support. The site will remain open, just with inconsistent postings.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Nothing Says I Love You Like a Good Cake Topper

2010-03-29T20:39:00.004-04:00

Auntie Lisa is getting married in June to a great guy. This past weekend was their co-ed shower that the bridesmaids hosted for them. The theme was Build-A-Bar. It worked out well. Mamacita was there and it was awesome to hang out with her and her Hubby.

Before the shower I had a chance to go with Auntie Lisa to get my bridesmaid dress at this bridal shop. And boy, did we see some good stuff. It was the cake toppers that caught my attention.

Hubby and I didn't have a cake topper but I am regretting that now. There are some good ones out there. The best part is that you can buy keepsake-like frames for these things and have the cake topper on one side and a photo of the lovely couple on the other. Amazing. It totally cries out, put me on the table with the Molson Export coasters!

Here are a couple of examples of what we saw in person. I think I am going to wrap one up for the bride and groom because to me, it is not a complete wedding unless you have one of these cake toppers.

The first one is the Run to the Altar. Jeez, I can't tell if she is pulling him or if he is trying to drag her away from it.

This next one tells all of the guests what they will be doing after the cash bar shuts down.

This one below is great for the corporate couple. Life is dictated by Blackberries and iPhones now, so isn't this just an insight into the love of the newly married couple? Doesn't it just scream, I am so into you, Baby and you mean everything to me. I'm sorry, did you say something? Well, just text it to me.

How about this- I Am Hooked On You. Awesome. He clearly is loving this whole marriage gig. She has to use the fishing rod that he uses with his buddies on the weekends to snag him and keep him. What would happen if she threw him back? Oh, but I know. He is a good catch. Isn't she so lucky to have such a great guy? Everyone warned him....

Again, another one where it is the bride trying with all her might to keep her man tied down. Like Indiana Jones, she ropes him into marrying her all cowgirl lasso styles. Tie him down, honey! He's a keeper!

Now this is more like it! A strong woman who knows self-defense! Finally, someone who can beat the crap out of her man on their wedding day after she tracks him down at the local motel when he neglected to show up at the wedding ceremony! She gives this to her husband-to-be before the wedding as a way to say, Don't mess with the bull, or you will get the horns. I can mess you up if you mess this up. Or is she dragging him to the altar? I wonder...

And this last one is my personal favourite. This is the woman standing beside her man as a symbol of unity and solidarity. She is tolerant and patient and willing to let him pursue his interest of eating Doritos on the couch while watching TV. How nice of her. How understanding. He sits on the recliner with his remote control and his snack beside him. Here's the best part. When you see this cake topper in person in all of its magnificence, the TV screen reads, no word of a lie, GAME OVER. There is no hidden message about the course of this relationship.

I would like to know unit sales on theses things. Are they used as a joke or as a telling statement about the couple? All I know is that I feel like I have been robbed of something that could have made our day so much more meaningful and that our guests could have learned some more about who we are as a couple. I would have gone for this one.

GAME ON.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Playing like a kid again

2010-03-23T20:28:00.003-04:00

Playing with the Wee Ladies over March Break and blowing alphorns. That is what has been going on over here.

March Break was busy and fun. The Wee Ladies and I spent good quality time on the slopes and playing outside in the spring-like weather. We went to visit Uncle Paul and Aunt Nancy for a night and EvieG had a sleepover with her cousin. We stopped to have lunch with Nenny With Twins and Auntie Missy and all their kids.

It always seems like the perfect idea to take the lot of them away. There is always a scheduled plan. It was great and I am happy we went. It was a good change of scenery and we were thrilled to spend some time with family. But what was possibly going to be two nights was shortened to one.

They get all out of sorts, the Wee Ladies. To bed late, up early, busy, and in need of entertainment. It just wears me out. They were great but there was no way they could have handled more than one late night or else the rest of the break would have been a write-off. They were in high gear the whole time, as was I. It is always nice to get back to your own space because whenever you go away, you are always conscious of the potential spill, rip, break, smash, or fall. We were lucky that the only thing that went wrong was that I lost my watch. The Destroyer took it somewhere in the house and it cannot be found. Oh and also our Wee Westie kept peeing on their kitchen floor to mark his territory.

We returned home to finish the week off with some more spring skiing. It was great and Hubby got to come and watch the Wee Ladies head straight down. It was so warm that we didn't wear jackets or mittens.

This past weekend 13 of us gathered at a local restaurant to celebrate my birthday along with another friend. It was a night that proved I still have it in me. I can still party like I did when I was a teenager. I added to my beer passport and was in fine form. I finished the night by blowing the alphorn, having sanitized it first because we all know that moms cannot afford to get sick. I made up for any lost party time, that is for sure. And Nenny With Twins was there to witness it all. The debauchery was witnessed. And by Auntie Lisa too. It felt good to let loose. So good. And as I said to Nenny With Twins when she asked how I was feeling at the end of the night as I fell into bed in the hotel (yes, I crashed at the hotel with her while Hubby went on home to mind the Wee Ladies), I was AWESOME! Just like DJ Lance Rock says, only I was done with my dancing that night.

We have been having a lot of fun lately and I apologize for not updating more regularly. But here I am now and I share some of the craziness that has been the last while.

Here I am sanitizing the alphorn.

And here I am blowing the alphorn with all my might.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I wore my More Cowbell t-shirt which was perfectly appropriate for this place and also my high school party jeans. This past summer, a dear friend gave me the patched jeans of hers that I always wore to parties back in the day. They didn't fit last summer but they do now! I couldn't believe I fit into my high school party jeans. And so I wore them again with pride and added another party story to the already frayed patches.

No running in the gym!

2010-03-10T20:03:00.005-05:00

The Destroyer is speedy, agile, and unpredictable. She has taken to bolting on me when we are out. I am drilling home the rule that she needs to stay with me at all times.

We were at the Y and she bolted into through the automatic double doors, heading straight for the counter where she presents her card to the staff to be zapped. The Destroyer has entered the building. Spark Plug is often right in there with her and they taunt each other. They race around like Shriners in a local small town parade.

As we were leaving, I was preoccupied talking to another mom. All of a sudden I see The Destroyer take off with Spark Plug not far behind. Around the corner they went, exiting my line of vision. I excused myself and went to find them. They had already left the building and were standing out on the sidewalk beside the busy parking lot. A stern talking to followed as I tried to make clear that it is not safe to bolt.

The Destroyer's way of telling me she understands something is by looking me squarely in the eye, pointing her index finger at my nose and declaring, "No runeen in de gym." This is the rule at nursery school except I think she means no running in the classroom. Who ever heard of the no running in the gym rule? Isn't that going against what the gym is for? I just agreed with her. No running in the gym and no running from mom. Capiche?

And then it happened again today, although they did not make it as far as the parking lot. They just did a few circles around me in the change room and then let themselves out into the foyer area where they continued chasing each other like a dog chases its tail. All eyes were on the crazy girls without proper adult supervision. I called to them and again for the 80th time in a day told them to stay with me. The Destroyer looked at me and said, "No runeen in de gym!" And it is always with a very sly, mischievous smile.

I am forever ushering them places. And if I don't send them on their way, they are lagging behind me. Walking along the main drag in town it is usually me followed by what I call my three little ducklings. They are all meandering across the wide sidewalk in all directions with me in the lead. I keep telling them to stay with mom and don't pick up the cigarette butt or empty coffee cup.

So The Destroyer has no mid-range speed. She is either absurdly slow, or has gone from first to sixth in mere seconds and runs at speeds a cheetah would have a hard time keeping up with.

There is no middle ground with The Destroyer. And there will never be.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here for this month's Who's DDM!

I completely dated myself

2010-03-05T19:11:00.003-05:00

It has been a very busy week and the weekend is upon us. We have been running around all over the place and enjoying the weather and outdoors. On Wednesday I had to take Spark Plug for a follow up appointment in a town an hour away. Everything went well and on the way out of town we stopped for a treat.

This town is where her pediatrician is located but it is a town I know moderately well. I used to drive through all the time as a teenager and had a good friend who lived there. That friend and I used to make the same stop at a local produce store every time we went through town. And on Wednesday, I took the Wee Ladies to the same store to take a walk down memory lane.

This store had THE BEST chocolate chunk cookies. And also had the freshly squeezed orange juice. We used to buy the cookies by the container and inhale them all in one sitting. We had one container each, I think. They were chewy and chunky and homemade. They were amazing. Well, I guess they were because I still have a craving for them almost 20 years later.

I wanted the Wee Ladies to share these delectable treats with me. So after the appointment, we made the stop.

What I didn't really think about was that, as I mentioned, my last visit was almost 20 years ago. This obviously meant nothing to me. And the guy behind the bakery counter was very cordial as he tried to contain his laughter. In my face.

I took the Wee Ladies straight to the baked goods section. I searched for the same containers from 2 decades ago. To no avail, I went to the counter and quickly scanned behind the glass. And there they were. Big chocolate chunk cookies. The chunks looked kind of small from what I remembered but they still looked yummy. The guy came over and asked me what I would like. I went into this long speech about how when the last time I was there, I ordered these same cookies and that they are so good and did he know if the recipe was still the same as 1992?

Blank.

Crap. He was probably just a speck in his mommy's ovary at that time.

He politely replied with, "I'm not sure. I wasn't here then."

Of course you weren't. Jeez.

I asked for a half dozen and he went back into the kitchen and started bagging them. Fresh out of the oven. I was standing there beaming and doing jumpy claps. He must have thought that I was the strangest old mom ever.

And then I asked him to direct me towards the freshly squeezed orange juice and asked if in fact the store still carried that because Zehrs got rid of it in about 2001. He for sure thought I was the weirdest mom ever.

I left a happy mom. And I had happy Wee Ladies as the three of us (EvieG was at school) sat in the van and devoured half of the half dozen.

It was just like I remembered and even though I completely dated myself, it was worth every chocolaty, chunky second. Washed down with pulpy orange juice.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Sorry there were no posts this week until now.

2am family trip to the hospital

2010-02-24T20:06:00.005-05:00

I always wondered what it would be like if we had to get the kids out of bed in the middle of the night. Sometimes I plan for various scenarios, like fire escape routes and hospital emergencies. I feel that it is always good to be somewhat prepared for things, even though you never know how you will react until you are in it.

Early Monday morning, I was sleeping soundly after a whirlwind trip to Toronto over the weekend. I was suddenly startled out of my sleep at 2 am by Hubby who was in the fetal position on the bathroom floor, moaning like an injured animal. I asked him to describe his injury (I have clearly done a CPR refresher course). I quickly assessed his situation and listened as he described to me what was happening in between his gasping breaths.

Did I need to call 911? For $5o0, I think not.

I got the Wee Ladies up and dressed. We piled them into the van. Hubby searched for and found his health card. I got him some water and we left for the Emergency department.

Hubby has had some gallbladder issues in the past. We feared that this was another attack even though I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was so fatty about black bean soup, roasted chicken, and veggies. But just to be safe, we thought it necessary to take him in given he had spiked a fever and was hunched over in pain.

We stopped at the drive-thru bank machine on the way because I was going to drop him off at the front doors and keep going. He could call a cab to get him home. Plus, there was no way I was waiting around the germ infested hospital with the Wee Ladies.

He got in pretty quickly and was given a requisition form for an ultrasound and then some Tylenol 3's on the side, for good measure. He returned home and went to bed.

Hubby was out for the count the entire next day. No food, or water. Just some Gatorade later in the day and then as he began to mend he finished the day off with some cereal.

The medical web sites that I checked out all said the same thing for gallbladder attacks. Pain in the upper right abdomen, throwing up, nausea. Well, he had a fever, no appetite, and other stuff that is too graphic to describe here. I suspected that his gallbladder attack, which he definitely has had before was none other than a bad gastrointestinal flu. It's been going around.

He bounced out of bed the next day ready to take on the world after sleeping for about 24 hours straight. We are almost certain that he had the flu, but not 100% sure and so I will make sure he gets his ultrasound.

Of course I have been living this whole week in fear of the Wee Ladies and I contracting this nasty bug. I have been disinfecting, washing towels and linens non-stop. I have stocked up our food supply. I am one step away from batteries, flashlights, and jugs of water. So far, so good. By now you would think we would have been sick. Fingers crossed.

And if I get this thing, what happens? Do I get to sleep for 24 hours? Do I get to take time off from the kids and house? Hubby has to work and there are no other options. Do men get it easier than us moms when they fall ill?

Hubby called me on his way to work this morning. He was listening to the local news and it was saying how the entire ground floor of the hospital has been closed off because of an outbreak of a gastro bug. I told him, way to go. I am glad he took that bug somewhere else other than this house.

All's I'm sayin's all.

DDM and an Olympian

2010-02-19T13:59:00.003-05:00

We had Family Day this past Monday, a provincial holiday where it was a long weekend. Hubby's work hosted a free family skate at a local arena and we went along for some family support. It turned out to be very exciting for all of us.

RBC is an official sponsor of the Olympics. The group had an area set up for draws, prizes, and a meet and greet with a past Olympian. There was also an official Olympic torch and photo opportunities. It was really exciting with all the buzz around the room.

EvieG held the torch first. She was jumping with excitement and we had to get her settled down in order to hold the torch properly without dropping it. We got her picture taken and she even made it into one of the local newspapers. We also had a nice family photo taken with the torch which was wonderful and one that I will frame as it serves as a great memory for these Vancouver Olympics. I then had my picture taken with the torch and the visiting Olympian. His name is Rowan Barrett and he was the captain of the Canadian basketball team at the 2000 Sydney Olympic games. He was lovely to talk to and was very gracious. Here is the photo of us below:

I was thrilled about all of this. The torch is beautiful and it was really amazing to hold it. I can only imagine how pumped the torch bearers must have been in their moment with it.

It was a memorable Family Day and we enjoyed skating with the Wee Ladies. They had a blast and for EvieG and I it was especially memorable having the opportunity to hold the torch.

The day would not have been complete without real deep fried arena fries spritzed in white vinegar from the plastic spray bottle and drowned in ketchup from the jumbo pump. Mini double pronged wooden fork included.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Soap in the mouth

2010-02-17T21:16:00.005-05:00

When I was a sassy 6 year old my parents thought it would be a good idea to travel to New Zealand for 3 weeks and leave my brothers and I with the lovely old lady who babysat us at the curling club. Living with this plump, rosy cheeked woman with the tight white curls that only the good overnight rollers could pull off was easy at first. And then we came to a head. She broke my baby doll that snuggled in when you pulled the string in her back. I was immediately full of disdain which quickly changed to sheer fear.

We always loved having her babysit us because she gave us Peak Frean Fruit Cremes and apple drink. You know the simulated apple beverage that had a tangy taste and was nothing like Allen's apple juice in a can. Once the stuff traveled through your bloodstream there was no escaping it and I can still taste it 3 decades later (as a sidebar, Nenny with Twins and I made a run to the grocery store in university and found us some good No Name apple drink for old times sake).

But then she came to stay.

There was one night after dinner when my brothers and I were fired up and horsing around. I had this cute little baby doll in a purple sleeper. It had a cute tuft of hair on top. I would pull the cord in her back and her head would would make a slow circular motion as if it was cuddling into you.

The babysitter must have had her curlers in too long and too tight because she was done with our shenanigans and was trying to get us ready for bed. That was when she leaned over me and grabbed my baby doll from me, telling me to march straight upstairs to get in my PJs or the doll was hers for the night. Just as she grabbed the head of the doll, I heard a popping sound. I took the doll from her wrinkled hands and gasped in horror as her head was hanging by the collar of her sleeper. I pulled the cord only to get a shuddering noise and jerking movement. The doll was destroyed and I was shattered.

The nasty babysitter stuck to her guns and insisted I follow through with the bed time routine. A battle ensued. I accused her of breaking the toy. She said we would fix it. I said it was broken for good and she didn't even apologize. This angered me even more. She told me to get into the bathroom to brush my teeth and I told her to Bleep Off. Yes I used the F-Bomb on her. At age 6.

She gave me a good brushing.

She grabbed my arm and lead me upstairs to the bathroom. She sat me up on the counter and turned on the tap. At this point I knew she was mad but wasn't expecting to get what was coming to me.

I got my mouth washed out with soap. For real.

Without a word she took the bar of Ivory and saturated a cloth that I assumed she was going to use to clean my face, or in between my toes. The next thing I knew, that soapy cloth was in my mouth and it was getting rid of all the bad words it could find. I almost threw up from gagging. She cleaned it out and said, "That will teach you never to speak like that again." By this point I was bawling and really wanting my mom and dad to come home to save me from this wretched woman. The end of this 'holiday' couldn't come any faster. I remember the lingering effects of the soap in my mouth and the stinging in my throat. Every time I smell Ivory, I can still taste it. That and Jack Daniels, but that is a whole other story, unlike the apple drink one. Needless to say, I spent the rest of that time in my life avoiding her at all cost and obeying the rules as I had to in order to survive.

I was never happier to see my parents when they returned home with my new stuffed koala bear and kiwi bird pin. Oh, and my Pet Rock.

The point of all of this is that I will never have to wash out the mouth of The Destroyer. She did it to herself today and the moment she came to me wreaking of vanilla anti-bacterial foam soap with her tongue hanging out and whimpering while demanding a drink of water took me back to that time. I laughed at her as I thought to myself about how I could use this to my benefit.

And so the first time she tries to swear at me I will remind her about the time she ate the soap and I would be pretty darn sure that she wouldn't want that in her mouth again.

I love it when the disciplining is done for me and all I have to do is make them think about it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS The nasty babysitter and I eventually made up and in then end I remember her as the lady who used to take care of us. Old school styles.

Luge tragedy overexposed by media

2010-02-13T11:45:00.007-05:00

The Olympics have begun and for us Canadians it is especially exciting to host the events on home soil. The Opening Ceremonies kicked things off last night and it was a proud time for many. Things did begin on a somber note with the death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili. His accident is such a tragedy and our hats go off to him, his family, and teammates.

If only some of the media gave them the respect they deserve during this time by not broadcasting complete footage of the accident.

As I was running on the treadmill last night, I had my iPod on and was listening to my play list. I also had CTV on the TV screen in front of me. I had the captioning on so I could read the news. I was half paying attention. As I was working on my speed, out of breath, I realized that without warning I was witnessing this horrific footage. I saw the luger on the track, flying off the track, hitting the pole, and laying lifelessly. It happened so quickly. My stomach turned. I grabbed on to the side of the treadmill. I slowed down to a walk. I felt ill. I looked around and noticed a couple other shocked runners. A moment later, I looked at the screen again and there it was again! On replay! I was disgusted. Mortified. I turned off the TV.

I could not believe that Canadian programming would show this footage. It was tasteless and absolutely unnecessary. It is a complete disrespect to Nodar and his family. It is also extremely unCanadian. Here it was, a couple of hours before the Opening Ceremonies where families, especially children, across the country would be sitting anxiously and excitedly waiting for things to get rolling only to become witness to this accident. Unacceptable.

It is one thing to discuss the accident and what went wrong. It is one thing to talk about track safety and precautions. But it is a whole other issue to overexpose the end of this talented life for dramatic purposes. Those images are not news-worthy.

I walked in the door and saw Hubby on the couch with EvieG. He looked just as disturbed as I did. He knew there were disturbing images and there was a quick warning apparently of graphic footage but he didn't realize that it would be a complete replay. I had called him on the way home warning him. He had enough time to put a cushion over EvieG's eyes. We still had to discuss with her what had happened and why we were so upset. She had a lot of questions.

I wrote an email to CTV programming communicating my disgust with their decision to air this tragedy. I know that other networks opted not to. Good for them. I am surprised that one of our main media outlets decided to go ahead with it. I am so disappointed.

Here is my email. I wrote it quickly but I think it got to the point. My heart goes out to Nodar's family and I wish them well along with the rest of the Republic of Georgia's Olympic team.

To Whom It May Concern,

The tragedy that occurred today on the luge track is one that does not need to be televised repeatedly. I was not expecting to witness a fatality like that, let alone the replay. As my family and I sit excitedly waiting for the opening ceremonies to begin we have fallen witness to this horrific accident and now we are having to explain to our 6 year old what happened. It just didn't need to be exposed. There is no need for that footage.

This programming is during family time with thousands, possibly millions waiting for the opening ceremonies to begin. There are children watching this. And to have this moment in someone's life put up there for all to see over and over is distasteful and disrespectful to both the individual and his family.

It is one thing to discuss improving the track safety and discuss what went wrong with the run, but to overexpose the end of a life is disgusting. You should be ashamed.

What is worse that as a mother, if that were my child, I would not be able to stomach that. I had a very hard time seeing that. I hope for his family's sake that they don't see it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

What happens when the snacks run out?

2010-02-10T21:01:00.007-05:00

Why is it that every time I am left alone for any length of time one or more of the Wee Ladies falls ill? Hubby is gone for the entire week and there is sick in the house. Myself included.

It is a vicious cycle when you are stuck at home caring for sick ones. You feel like crap, you are housebound and you eat. And then you do it all over again until you are able to escape the monotony of illness. There is nothing more you can do except clean using bleach and eat the bag of chocolate chips you bought for the cookies you were planning to bake with the healthy kids.

There is hacking at night, whining, and a bed invasion. By the morning you are crusted around your facial orfuses and the bags are swollen and a nice shade of gray. You slag through the day and end up making phone calls in between letting the toilet soak in cleaner and the sink absorb the Javex. The kids are glued in front of their second movie so it becomes the perfect time to mop the floor knowing you are guaranteed a footprint free wet floor this time. In order to entice a kid to eat some calories the day turns into one of KD at lunch and pancakes for dinner with Gatorade as a snack just as an attempt to get some electrolytes into a child.

And there is major parental snacking. Snacking out of housebound boredom. Nowhere to go, not even outside to play because sick kids don't want to play. No errands to run because sick kids are not welcome in public. No visits or trips to the Y because that is an automatic pass for the parental blacklist. What is one to do? Eat. Whatever is there. If there is nothing, improvise and make a batch of muffins using the raisins that you rediscover at the back of the pantry because you already ate the chocolate chips.

And by then end of the day, you are exhausted. Exhausted from all that you accomplished. Tired from hacking, whining kids and all that busy work.

But mostly from the snacking. And just when you think you are ready to call it quits for a few hours until the night time action begins, you have to head into the kitchen to clean up the salt crusted popcorn pot. And prepare yourself to do it all over again tomorrow.

I feel like I'm a teenager grounded from the outside world for a few days.

Where is my errand Gofer? But what happens when there is no more snack food? Will I resort to the old dried apricots?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Grandpa-Up-In-Heaven

2010-02-05T13:02:00.007-05:00

It has been 14 years since the passing of my Dad, or Grandpa-Up-In-Heaven as the Wee Ladies know him. This day is always a tough one for my family and I as we think about how much we miss one of the strongest forces we have ever known.

I took the Wee Ladies out to a friend's place yesterday in the country where it is quiet with the exception of the chatty chickadees. The Wee Ladies stood around the bird feeders as the birds swooped and flew around our heads like acrobatic stunt planes. Their wings made the sound of buzzing propellers. It was so tranquil and peaceful and I think about those same moments I shared with my Dad.

We used to sit outside in the snow with sunflower seeds in our perched hands. He taught me how to be still. We would sit and wait a long time until the friendly chickadees would trust us enough to sit and take a meal from our hands or just whiz by and take a break on the top of our toques before setting off again for more dips and dives through the cedar trees.

This lesson goes far beyond feeding the birds. He taught me to how to be still at the right times so I would learn to appreciate what was around me. I learned how to stop and look around, listen and think clearly, thanks to him. This is something I try hard to instill in the Wee Ladies, especially EvieG. Patience is something I value highly in life and sometimes I feel like patience rules Hubby and I as we settle into our new life here and wait for projects and jobs to take shape.

I firmly believe everything happens for a reason as tough as some of those things may be.

As time marches on, I feel myself growing into him more as I hear him loud and clear in my own voice when talking to the Wee Ladies. I hear myself repeating things he told me, or sharing views that he shared with me. I am teaching the Wee Ladies in the same way he taught me. We go out and follow the deer tracks and talk about it as we go. We stop along the way and listen to the wind race through the branches in the woods. We talk about nature as we see it.

14 years may have passed but I still feel like his influence is just as strong as it was when he was here in real time. I will share things about him with the Wee Ladies so that they feel as if they have some connection with my father, their grandfather. I will tell them what he would think or even what he might say about a particular subject.

He was a strong force in our lives. He still is. And he continues to be an important force in the lives of the Wee Ladies.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS February's Who's DDM is up! You can click here to go and check it out. Have a good weekend!

A Spring Olympics for EvieG

2010-02-03T10:39:00.002-05:00

While driving home last night from EvieG's choir practice, she began to ask questions about the timing of the Olympics. Generally, she is a kid of order and can't quite wrap her head around her perceived gaps in the order of things.

EvieG: Mom, when is the next winter Olympics going to be?

DDM: Well, 4 years from now. There is a Winter Olympics, then a Summer Olympics in 2 years, and then 2 more years after that is the Winter Olympics again. They take turns every 2 years.

EvieG: Oh. But why don't they have it every year?

DDM: You know, it takes a lot of time and money to plan for all of the events and for all of the athletes to train (just guessing here, not an Olympic expert).

EvieG: But why don't they have Spring and Fall Olympics?

DDM: Well, they group the sports into the ones you do in the winter time like skiing, skating, and hockey and the ones you do in the summer, like running, swimming, and rowing.

EvieG: I think they should have Olympics every season. I know what I would do for the Spring Olympics.

DDM: Oh ya? What's that?

EvieG: Watching the rain fall.

I burst out laughing. I explained that watching the rain is sometimes about all you can do in the Spring on certain days.

And where is the sport in that? Lifting the remote control.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Karaoke and birthday fun

2010-02-01T21:04:00.005-05:00

It was Hubby's birthday. He turned 35. Auntie Lisa and her fiance Paul came to visit and we had a fine time Saturday evening, Hubby especially.

We started with a cocktail at our place followed by some Thai food and then some simulated fun. We had some other friends with us and I am not sure what they thought of the lot of us carrying on the way we were.

The after dinner spot was a place that has simulated golf, the Wii, karaoke, a bar, and a pool table. Hubby and his boys went to shoot some golf balls at a screen while Auntie Lisa and I took the karaoke machine for a spin. I was overwhelmed by the selections. I didn't even know where to start. This was way better than singing in the van and I have been getting some decent mileage on my vocal cords lately with Sirius' Classic Vinyl station. We began with Holiday by Madonna, followed by some Mamma Mia, Sweet Caroline, Mr. Brightside, Peace Train, Wind Beneath My Wings, and Wanted Dead or Alive. Quite a variety, really. I wondered why we were the only patrons left in the place. I heard Hubby howling in the back.

It was so much fun. I haven't done the karaoke thing since high school. And it is amazing how well you think you are singing after you have had a few cocktails. I thought I was better than Bette Midler. And in my mind, Brandon Flowers would have asked me to record a duet with him for sure.

By the end of our night (which was only 11) we had to call a cab. We tried for a half hour to get through to a cab company but the weekends are busy here in our town and no one was available. The owner of the bar asked to drive us home. There were too many of us and since we didn't live too far away, I offered to run.

It was one of the coldest nights of the winter to date, I had no hat and no mittens just because I was too excited leaving the house for the evening and forgot. The owner took our other friends home, the further distance. Auntie Lisa and Hubby held each other up all the way home and Paul and I ran. We ran. And I laughed the entire way. Guffawed. The hilarious thing was that we didn't even feel the cold. We ran by a couple all bundled up and they told us to keep warm. We hollered, "Doing that right now! Staying warm!" They were the ones catching our cold breeze as we blew by. I felt like I was in school again finding my way home after a night of debauchery. I haven't done that in a very long time.

We arrived safely and out of breath. Hubby and Auntie Lisa were a little bit behind us and Hubby had the money for the babysitter. Her parents were waiting for her and she left without her pay. I felt horrible. I dropped her money off in a sealed envelope at school this morning. I am sure the office staff are not used to cash transactions coming through the door for babysitters.

Hubby was in a world of hurt yesterday. But he did say that he had a great time. I am glad he did. He deserved a good night out. Even if it meant walking home comfortably numb in minus 25 degree weather.

All's I'm sayin's all.

It wasn't my debit card that I lost

2010-01-26T20:51:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I lose my mind. I leave it places which results in forgetting or losing all sorts of other things. Except the Wee Ladies. I have yet to forget or lose one of them. Actually, that is a lie. I lost Spark Plug last year. Click here for a refresher.

While I was in Toronto visiting Auntie Lisa back in December, I lost my debit card. This was nothing out of the ordinary. I had lost it before. I usually put it in my pocket and use as needed when I have the Wee Ladies with me. Taking my purse is risky. I would likely lose that too, so I simplify by reducing the chances of leaving my purse in a store and just take the card.

When I got home, I looked briefly in my purse. I did not see it sticking out of my wallet. I didn't see it in the zipped section with the lip gloss. And it wasn't mixed in with the gas and dry cleaning receipts. I searched my coat pockets. And my jeans that I had just removed from the washing machine. Nothing. Crap.

I took the second trip to the bank branch in the last 3 months. They hooked me up with another temporary card and I waited to get my new new shiny card.

It came and all was well for a while.

This past weekend I went to buy ski poles for EvieG because she is conquering all the big hills now. I used my debit card. DENIED. I tried again and selected the other account. DENIED. I was confused. I had just used it to buy a birthday gift for a friend of EvieG's. Freaking slightly, thinking someone has cleared me out of my last few dollars, I went home and told Hubby. Everything appeared normal online. I forgot about it, figuring it was just a glitch in the systems. I concluded it was something with the chip on the card.

I tried to make another purchase the following day. Again DENIED.

What?What?What?

This was getting humiliating. I was now that person the store clerks look at and think- She shouldn't be buying anything. She is maxed out. She has a spending problem. I felt my face turn red with embarrassment. Pull out the VISA again.

When I returned home, I immediately dialed up our customer service representative at the bank. They diligently looked into my problem, making sure there was no fraudulent activity on my card or at the last place I used it (the toy store?). They asked me a series of questions including my secret password, which I had forgotten. Typical.

Then he left the line for a couple of minutes. I waited patiently, folding underwear and matching socks. He came back and asked me to tell him some number at the bottom of my card, which I did. He then solved the mystery. He politely reminded me that I had reported a lost card. He went on to tell me that I received and activated a new one. I agreed with everything he was telling me. He then concluded that I had been trying to use my lost card.

I was using the lost card. The card that had been in my wallet the entire time. Right beside the new new one.

I had to call the bank to realize that I had lost my mind. Thanks to the guy at the bank for solving that problem for me.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Trinkets and Clutter Placed in Order

2010-01-25T20:49:00.005-05:00

Spark Plug is a pack-rat at the ripe old age of almost 4. There is stuff everywhere in her room and anywhere she collects her trinkets. She places her special pieces in their rightful spot. She knows exactly where everything is and belongs. And she even has her footwear ordered according to function.

She has photos lining her bedside table, along with her toothbrush which she refuses to keep among the others in the bathroom that belong to the rest of us plebes. She has flowers, fresh and fake, a self-decorated hand-held mirror, art work, and a piggy bank. There is a table cloth under it all to make it look authentic. A baby blanket is the surface on which all of these treasures rest.

She has her hot pink Tender Tootsies beside her bed. She also has her slippers that make noise for when she is feeling fancy. She then has her pair of 'nighttime slippers' which are Tinkerbell foot covers she got for Christmas and she puts them on as she tucks into bed each night. Downstairs she has her snow boots, of course. And her running shoes for the gymnasium at the Y. But also- her sparkly flip flops. She keeps these in her swim bag for the Y to wear to and from the pool.

This kid cracks me up. She knows exactly where and how she wants everything. She thinks about and executes her plans. She goes through my MIL's place and takes whatever she is allowed to take. After our last visit, Spark Plug came home with a giant plastic bag full of necklaces, framed photos, stuffed animals to add to the already enormous zoo along the side of her bed, toy bird feeder, Tinkerbell plastic cup and plate, and on and on. And it all gets placed.

I don't even bother tidying her bedside table. There's no point. She would just put everything back where it was before. She fiddles with it so much, I doubt there would be any dust collecting on it.

When I accidentally forget to hide the art work at the bottom of the recycling bin, she throws a fit and takes it out again. I apologize, claim my ignorance, and slyly wait for her to forget about it again, snatch it up and bury it for good. If I didn't recycle anything or occasionally pitch out the broken jewellery, we wouldn't be able to move in here.

I can't even imagine what this is going to mature into.

Yes, I can. A fussy, anal, picky, pack-rat who will have every surface covered. With her Jimmy Choos and clothing arranged by colour, function, and season.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Who's DDM

2010-01-21T10:14:00.002-05:00

It is up! The Who's DDM is up! A new one! A new year! Renewal.

I know it is almost the end of the month. I wrote it the first couple of days into the new year.

Click here to check it out!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Life Lessons

2010-01-18T20:33:00.003-05:00

I am reading If the World Were a Village: A Book about the World's People to EvieG right now. This is a book (also made into a narrated TV version) about what life would be like if the world were a village made up of 100 people. It encourages 'world-mindedness', an 'approach and attitude to life'. Click here for a clip. It puts the global village into a condensed perspective for little ones. It is really amazing.

Given what has happened in Haiti, I have taken the time to try and explain things like fresh food and water, housing and living conditions to EvieG and how disasters can strike and change the lives of millions. I am trying to show her that there are many people in the world who are living through horrific tragedy and who are simply trying to survive. I don't know how much she can comprehend but I figure it is worthwhile explaining.

The next question is trying to be proactive. By donating to the cause is one way, but I am often thinking to myself, how else can we help or how can she see the realities and struggles that people are faced with everyday around the world? This will be something I explore as the Wee Ladies get older.

It is so easy to carry on with our days with our kids. I have been thinking a lot about how the people in Haiti are coping. I realize that in our global village, we are all neighbours and we all can do something to help in times of need.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Questionable Influences

2010-01-11T21:09:00.002-05:00

Don't you love it when you go out to a restaurant or somewhere and just as you are all ready to order, your kids pull a fast one?

We went out for a bite to eat. We ordered our drinks. We perused the menu. We decided what we wanted and the Wee Ladies had also decided. The server returns with the drinks and the straws in the paper wrapper. As she asks us for our order, we begin to list off our requests. Just as she looks to EvieG, she is greeted by a paper straw wrapper. EvieG took the top off the wrapper, blew into the straw sending the rest of the wrapper torpedoing through the air.

Awesome.

I get the old stare-over-the-glasses look.

Hubby was sitting across from me with a sheepish grin. I felt like we just stepped back to third grade when he would have been shooting tiny bits of saliva soaked paper across the classroom, pelting the cute girl on the ear.

What other bad habits or influences have seeped into the ever-growing repertoire of inappropriate acts? Well, Uncle Jeff was here for Christmas. And with that comes a whole new exposure to sayings and acts of silliness. Like rhyming off the saying that is plastered on his t-shirt: I make house calls. Nice. And the old, "Pull my finger!" He burps and passes gas in our house. He buys us Dashboard Hula Girls and fridge poetry that consists of movies' greatest lines. Obviously a few magnets went in the trash. There were some bad words and EvieG knows how to read. Today she asked where the magnet was that says, "I'm ready for my closeup." Oh, and she also asked where she could find the one that says, "I see dead people."

While they clearly don't get the full meaning behind these things, they think it is absolutely hilarious. They have many good laughs with the uncles and Hubby. It is good that they have some silly boy influence in their lives. It keeps them sharp.

I wonder if we will ever get a call from school about EvieG's pea-shooter? I have told her that whatever Uncle Jeff and Uncle Paul teach them stays in our house. And it never leaves. EVER.

But I have one rogue influence. Their father. Now what do I do about that one?

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I have sent off my Who's DDM to my web guy last week. I have not heard anything from him. I don't know where he is or if he is away. I am going to try and get it up ASAP. My apologies.

I hold it!

2010-01-01T18:43:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year to everyone! After a rather long hiatus, I can say that our family holidays are officially done. We all had a fun time with holiday prep, lots of family around, a trip to see Auntie Lisa, and now a detox for Hubby and I. For real. Somehow I have to find a way to detox The Destroyer of sugary treats.

Hubby and I are one week into a 30 day cleanse. All is well so far and I have lost 6 pounds. I am feeling fantastic. I have energy. I go all day long without stopping. I have a list a mile long of things I want to do this year. I will have it all for you in the Who's DDM section. Click here for that. I haven't written there since October. Slacker, I am.

The holidays are a time for indulging. That I did. So much so that on Boxing Day I had to take a Zantac. I have never taken one of those in my life. Too much rich food. And so we got all the treats out of the house on the 26th and vacated our house of anything else that a Zantac would like to attack.

The Wee Ladies had a super time. The Destroyer especially. All she asked Santa for was a candy bracelet. That's it. She got three. So for Christmas Day and the day after, she wore them around her neck and wore them down. She was caked with white goop all around her mouth and down onto her neck and chest. It was a true sight to see. She asked me this morning for another one.

Sugar is her weakness. Anything sweet. Or refined. Like Kraft Dinner. She loves these things so much she wants to carry them around with her. She walked around with the unopened Gummie Life Savers that were left in her stocking. For days. And I would try and take them away at which point she would yell, "I hold it!" Eventually I found trails of wrapper around the house. It was a gradual process. She does the dame thing with the KD. She will randomly go into the cupboard and parade around shaking the dried macaroni inside. I will say, "We have already had lunch!" She practically spits, "I hold it!" in my face, knowing full well we are not having it to eat.

So it is increased fruit, oatmeal with flax, apples and honey. It is granola with vanilla yogurt. She is digging it and besides the comment about wanting another candy bracelet, she really hasn't asked for anything else sweet. And she really hasn't attempted to help herself like she was doing. She is not reaching into the cupboard that is at her height looking for the Digestives, granola bars, or raisins.

Maybe it is because I finally got my act together and removed it. Not from the house, but to another location. We have to have Digestives! Isn't that like a childhood staple? When we were kids, we occasionally got the chocolate covered ones.

One of my resolutions: Keep The Destroyer from eating too much sugar and monitor more closely what she is snacking on.

And the same goes for me.

All's I'm sayin's all.

All I want for Christmas are my Bubble Lights

2009-12-14T20:51:00.004-05:00

We have temporarily lost some of our tree lights and ornaments. After packing and moving right after the holidays this past year, we have stuff in a variety of locations. I thought we brought all of the Christmas stuff with us, but I have discovered that my NOMA Bubble Lights are MIA. I am crushed. Click here for a refresher from last year.

This past weekend, we went out into the woods and emerged with our Fraser fir. It is smaller than years past, but it is because we have way less space. It is a good size, a normal size, if you will. We agreed that we had been overdoing it in the tree department. We found a nest in last year's tree. This year we have a smallish tree with lots of character.

I sent Hubby down into the crawl space to retrieve the decorations. Among hundreds of boxes labeled 'kitchen stuff', he only found one box of decorations for around the house and one box of tree lights mixed with one small box of glass ornaments. I asked him to check under the first of three boxes labeled 'fondue set' for the rest. Nothing.

WHERE ARE MY BUBBLE LIGHTS?

I can't go through Christmas without my Bubble Lights. These things are the best kind of fire hazard you could have. They don't make them like they used to anymore. And every year, keeping with my own personal tradition, I insist on heading into the local Canadian Tire and asking the staff to point me in the direction of the Bubble Lights. They stare at me like I am some crazy off the street. They don't know! They probably weren't even born when Bubble Lights were at their all time height in popularity. Kids these days.

Even EvieG is upset that there are no Bubble Lights this year.

We went for the multi-coloured twinkle lights and threw in a couple strands of LED lights to do our part for the environment (tree cutting excluded obviously). The box did have the disco ball and Santa lights. But I must have packed the Bubble Lights in bubble wrap and hidden them at the bottom of the box with the circa 1979-gold-spray-painted-dried-macaroni ornaments. And the rodent-nibbled-waffle-cone-popcorn-meant-to-be-an-ice-cream-cone-with-a-red-pom-pom-on-top ornament.

Devastated.

The fact that I don't have my old ornaments and retro lights bums me out big time.

I sucked it up. We bought one of those buckets o' ornaments for $25. They are plastic and they are all silver. So they do sparkle nicely with the twinkle lights. And it will work out fine because we won't risk losing anymore oldies but goodies in the loose grip of The Destroyer. We lost a few last year. So far we have had a lot fall but they just bounce and roll along the hard floor. If anything, I am going to have to go and stock up on extra hooks. I have noticed that some have fallen like pine cones and then I have to search for their proper branch. And they make the hooks green now so they camouflage. The breakable ones have gone 36 inches and above.

I am actually considering attaching the tree to the wall with fishing line. I see The Destroyer pacing back and forth in front of the tree looking like she is ready to pounce on her prey. I figure it is a matter of time before it all comes crashing down.

At least most objects on there are plastic. And I think we did use the fishing line last year. So maybe it's a good thing we don't have our old ornaments and Bubble Lights. I wouldn't want to risk losing them forever.

Ho hum. I will miss turning out the lights and sitting in front of the lit tree watching the mini lava lamps work their mesmerizing magic.

All the more fuel for me to come back next year bigger and better. I will make it my mission for 2010:

Find Bubble Lights, buy replacements for the existing dried up ones, and expand on current collection through online purchasing.

All's I'm sayin's all.

At least I've got Santa on my side

2009-12-07T20:51:00.003-05:00

I love the holiday season and getting into the holiday spirit. What I mean by this is that I can use this time of year as some serious leverage when it comes to the shenanigans of the Wee Ladies. No, no friends. It's not all the cookies and shopping, presents and chopped trees that have me giggly. It's that I have Santa on my side. We are a United Front. Santa's watching your kids.

As creepy as that may sound, he knows if you are being good. So when things go sideways, all I have to do is peer over my hot chocolate and Baileys and remind the Wee Ladies of this. I can easily use it for a solid two months out of the year. Maybe even bring it up mid-year as a refresher.

I love this threat. And yes, let's be open and honest. It is a threat. All you have to do is gently but firmly say, "Remember- Santa Claus is coming to town. So you better not pout or cry. And I will definitely give you all the reasons why. You might want to rethink that whole cleaning up the mess you made. Oh, and don't whine about it either. He's watching. Santa is always watching."

Sometimes when things get really sour with the Wee Ladies, the threat gets worse. "You do want Santa to bring you your presents, right?" Met with a distinct nod, I can swiftly redirect them back to more appropriate behaviour.

Shake your head at me all you want. But it works. And it works well. Why ruin a good thing? If I have a guaranteed means for good behaviour, if I can curb the whining, then boy howdy I will. No one wants to cross Jolly Old St. Nick. If we do, we might only get a lump of coal in our stockings. And I can see him shaking his head while exhaling his smoke ring from his pipe. Fear not, I haven't pulled the coal threat out yet. I think I'll save that for next year.

Santa is kind of like the Polk-A-Roo version the lady at the store who tells your kids to sit down in the cart, or stay out from under the racks because they might knock something over or get lost. They threaten to their face and in front of you, the parent, without your permission. You might get lost. Or You might crack your head on our Wal*Mart concrete and the Waltons have no use for lawsuits. Only Santa's threats are through the parent directly. The key here is that the kids always listen. ALWAYS. They do listen to that old lady with the blue perm cashing us out. And when she says sit, they sit. Just like when they know Santa is watching, it's all hands clasped at the table, napkin in lap, and a pearly white smile to boot.

Forget Reward Charts. Just use Santa. Christmas may only be once a year, but you can try and use Santa for about 364 days of the year.

Just ask the lady at the checkout. She'll agree.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Scraping Appetizers

2009-11-30T20:33:00.004-05:00

We had Hubby's parents here this weekend. The night they arrived, we all went out to a local pub for some dinner. Waiting for the kids' meals is always interesting. Can we keep them occupied? How many rounds of Eye Spy can we play? Did we remember the crayons? I told them a hundred times not to carve into the table. Did you want an appetizer first?

When we go to a restaurant, it feels appropriate to strategically place them around the table so they are properly boxed in somehow. A wall or window on one side, a parent on the other. I almost always sit on the outside. I don't think there will be any window seats for me until they are at least 10.

Because we had my In-Laws, that meant 4 adults to pigeon-hole them. Hubby and I both took the outsides. EvieG is great in a restaurant. She can amuse herself, read the menu, play quietly. Spark Plug has recently discovered a passion for colouring, so all in all she is fine too. But The Destroyer. She can only take it until her apple juice or chocolate milk is gone and then it is on to the next thing. She gets fidgety. She tries to climb under the table and come up for air on the other side. She makes friends with the neighbouring booth.

This time she found something else. She discovered the wrapped cutlery in the centre of the table. She reached over and was preoccupied with the fork and knife for a couple of minutes. She was also playing with the napkins. No big deal. Until she started trying to cut the kids' menu.

She was chewing. I couldn't see anything in her mouth and wasn't sure if she was grinding her teeth again. I opened her mouth and didn't see anything. She continued chewing. I opened it again and saw something white. Hubby asked me what it was. I told it it was probably just the napkin she had been playing with. I assumed it was a piece she has ripped off since she rips everything else in life and was playing with the fork and knife. I took out the tiny, wet piece and wiped it on my jeans. We carried on with our conversation.

Hubby noticed she was chewing something again! This time he removed it from her.

As The Destroyer was climbing from Hubby's lap to the floor and back up again, she had been munching on her own appetizer. She spotted the chewed gum stuck to the bottom of the table. It must have still smelled like strawberries or fruit blast because she had smoothly picked it off and was happily snacking on it.

What could we do? Remove it from her mouth and shrug. There was nothing we could say other than the fact that we weren't surprised and thank goodness we got her the H1N1 shot. We are sure she has the immune system of a superhuman given the amount of sand, dirt, and now crusty, chewed gum she has put in her mouth.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Illness Infiltrates

2009-11-23T21:45:00.003-05:00

Illness is infiltrating our house. EvieG was off most of last week with a virus. May have been the HiNee (H1N1) or some other bug. She is still coughing a bit. The Destroyer has a urinary tract infection. I am entering week four with a head cold. But I started taking Cold FX.

Have you tried this stuff? I feel like I am Speedy Gonzales. What a way to gain some instant energy. The ginseng and echinacea combined makes for a super duper sense of accomplishment. I was vacuuming tonight at 8:30. What is wrong with me?

As a preventative measure, I say take one of these a day and you'll be running a marathon by next spring. I am like the little engine that could.

I still have a cold. I can't smell or taste anything. I am coughing but mostly at night and am stuffed up in the sinuses. The sinuses have carried the brunt of this illness. So I went out and bought one of those teapots for snot.

Have you tried one of those before? What a weird feeling of relief! You lean forward tilt your head gently to the side, stick the spout of the teapot in a nostril let it pour into the sinus cavity and come out the other side. Don't lean back or you will feel like you just chugged part of the Gulf of Mexico. The first time I tried I did it twice just because it felt so cool. And then I realized my kitchen shutters were wide open for all the neighbours to see. Tea through her nose? That girl really is strange!

I can't wait to beat this thing. It has been one of the worst colds I have had in a very long time. At least I can take cold drugs now. I always hated that about pregnancy. It was like a death sentence when you were sick and were told that you had to stick it out. Like preparing us for what is to come with babies. A lesson in strength, stamina, perseverance. I cheated. I used to take Buckleys. Just like I still cheat and turn on the TV when I can't take anymore.

Here's stamina for you- TV and a Cold FX. You will have the entire house, cleaned, scrubbed, and dusted, all in minutes.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Sayonara Soo Soo

2009-11-19T20:20:00.003-05:00

Sayonara to the Soo Soo! And to diapers too! There have been lots of changes going on around here! The Destroyer has kicked her soother habit and bid farewell to diapers. While this is liberating, it also means my last baby is growing bigger all the time. But today, we talk addictions.

The Destroyer was addicted to her soothers. She had to have them on her at all times. So much so, that she even told me she would keep it in her pocket. She had to have it and got all bent out of shape when I took it or it was forgotten or she wasn't sure of its whereabouts. But like a squirrel, I am convinced she had them stashed away because she would leave the room with one and come back a few minutes later with another. And I never knew where she was finding them. She had her stash secretly placed.

Finally, after another rash formed around her mouth, I told Hubby that we needed to pull the chute on this soother thing. She will be 3 next April. There was no reason for it other than A) it was her sole comfort in life and B) well, it was just easier to put a cork in it.

I had been working on it for a couple of weeks with her. I told her it was time to give up the Soo Soo for the little babies who needed them. I told her that the Soo Soo Fairy would come, pick up the soothers, and then leave her presents. She looked at me square in the eye and said, "Pwesens? For me?" I replied with an excited and very convincing, "Yes! All for you! To thank you for helping the little babies!"

She never thought we'd go through with it.

I pulled the soother from her cold turkey. Just like that. I couldn't take it anymore watching her get all chaffed, her jaw structure changing as her teeth started moulding around it. She was so upset. I quickly found as many of the others as I could and got them out of her sight. I even found one behind the coat stand. Sly dog, she is.

I ran to the local Dollar Store and picked up a few items- some crayons, a little dolly, toy dinosaurs, a magic wand, and Life Savers gummy candies (which she carried around with her unopened the entire following morning). It was all assembled in a gift bag with a hand made card for Hers Truly and set out that night.

That night.

Withdrawal.

Putting her to bed without her soother was like trying to pull an addict from their prescription meds. There was the wailing, the cries of death, the fetal position, you name it. All I kept thinking was, I hope I am not going to have to rub her back like this as she hangs over the toilet bowl. Seriously... She moaned herself to sleep after an hour of going through hardcore withdrawal.

But what a pleasant little girl the next day! Addiction? What addiction? I don't have any clue what you are talking about! I never had a soother in my life! She was thrilled with her presents from the Soo Soo Fairy. She felt good about giving her soothers to the little babies. And who are these little babies anyway? I can picture handing over the bag of crusty soothers to another mom who gently accepts them with the tips of her index finger and thumb, all while sporting a half-smile, half-ewwwww look on her face. Hey, let's not be picky. At least it will cork the kid for a few moments of peace and quiet.

The Destroyer has only asked for it a couple of times since. And she has a hard time going to bed. Hubby has cuddled her a couple of times downstairs. Right now she is in our bed and then I will transfer her to her own bed.

Why not end one addiction and start another, right? Sleep aids. They help millions around the world.

Oh and what did I do with the soothers? I put them all in a poop and scoop bag and tossed them in my bathroom cupboard. I think I can pitch them now. Unless she finds the stash first.

All's I'm sayin's all.