Dress Down Moms

Playing with the Wee Ladies over March Break and blowing alphorns. That is what has been going on over here.

March Break was busy and fun. The Wee Ladies and I spent good quality time on the slopes and playing outside in the spring-like weather. We went to visit Uncle Paul and Aunt Nancy for a night and EvieG had a sleepover with her cousin. We stopped to have lunch with Nenny With Twins and Auntie Missy and all their kids.

It always seems like the perfect idea to take the lot of them away. There is always a scheduled plan. It was great and I am happy we went. It was a good change of scenery and we were thrilled to spend some time with family. But what was possibly going to be two nights was shortened to one.

They get all out of sorts, the Wee Ladies. To bed late, up early, busy, and in need of entertainment. It just wears me out. They were great but there was no way they could have handled more than one late night or else the rest of the break would have been a write-off. They were in high gear the whole time, as was I. It is always nice to get back to your own space because whenever you go away, you are always conscious of the potential spill, rip, break, smash, or fall. We were lucky that the only thing that went wrong was that I lost my watch. The Destroyer took it somewhere in the house and it cannot be found. Oh and also our Wee Westie kept peeing on their kitchen floor to mark his territory.

We returned home to finish the week off with some more spring skiing. It was great and Hubby got to come and watch the Wee Ladies head straight down. It was so warm that we didn't wear jackets or mittens.

This past weekend 13 of us gathered at a local restaurant to celebrate my birthday along with another friend. It was a night that proved I still have it in me. I can still party like I did when I was a teenager. I added to my beer passport and was in fine form. I finished the night by blowing the alphorn, having sanitized it first because we all know that moms cannot afford to get sick. I made up for any lost party time, that is for sure. And Nenny With Twins was there to witness it all. The debauchery was witnessed. And by Auntie Lisa too. It felt good to let loose. So good. And as I said to Nenny With Twins when she asked how I was feeling at the end of the night as I fell into bed in the hotel (yes, I crashed at the hotel with her while Hubby went on home to mind the Wee Ladies), I was AWESOME! Just like DJ Lance Rock says, only I was done with my dancing that night.

We have been having a lot of fun lately and I apologize for not updating more regularly. But here I am now and I share some of the craziness that has been the last while.

Here I am sanitizing the alphorn.

And here I am blowing the alphorn with all my might.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I wore my More Cowbell t-shirt which was perfectly appropriate for this place and also my high school party jeans. This past summer, a dear friend gave me the patched jeans of hers that I always wore to parties back in the day. They didn't fit last summer but they do now! I couldn't believe I fit into my high school party jeans. And so I wore them again with pride and added another party story to the already frayed patches.

Labels: DDM, Fun

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:28 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

No running in the gym!

The Destroyer is speedy, agile, and unpredictable. She has taken to bolting on me when we are out. I am drilling home the rule that she needs to stay with me at all times.

We were at the Y and she bolted into through the automatic double doors, heading straight for the counter where she presents her card to the staff to be zapped. The Destroyer has entered the building. Spark Plug is often right in there with her and they taunt each other. They race around like Shriners in a local small town parade.

As we were leaving, I was preoccupied talking to another mom. All of a sudden I see The Destroyer take off with Spark Plug not far behind. Around the corner they went, exiting my line of vision. I excused myself and went to find them. They had already left the building and were standing out on the sidewalk beside the busy parking lot. A stern talking to followed as I tried to make clear that it is not safe to bolt.

The Destroyer's way of telling me she understands something is by looking me squarely in the eye, pointing her index finger at my nose and declaring, "No runeen in de gym." This is the rule at nursery school except I think she means no running in the classroom. Who ever heard of the no running in the gym rule? Isn't that going against what the gym is for? I just agreed with her. No running in the gym and no running from mom. Capiche?

And then it happened again today, although they did not make it as far as the parking lot. They just did a few circles around me in the change room and then let themselves out into the foyer area where they continued chasing each other like a dog chases its tail. All eyes were on the crazy girls without proper adult supervision. I called to them and again for the 80th time in a day told them to stay with me. The Destroyer looked at me and said, "No runeen in de gym!" And it is always with a very sly, mischievous smile.

I am forever ushering them places. And if I don't send them on their way, they are lagging behind me. Walking along the main drag in town it is usually me followed by what I call my three little ducklings. They are all meandering across the wide sidewalk in all directions with me in the lead. I keep telling them to stay with mom and don't pick up the cigarette butt or empty coffee cup.

So The Destroyer has no mid-range speed. She is either absurdly slow, or has gone from first to sixth in mere seconds and runs at speeds a cheetah would have a hard time keeping up with.

There is no middle ground with The Destroyer. And there will never be.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here for this month's Who's DDM!

Labels: DDM, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:03 PM 0 Comments

Friday, March 5, 2010

I completely dated myself

It has been a very busy week and the weekend is upon us. We have been running around all over the place and enjoying the weather and outdoors. On Wednesday I had to take Spark Plug for a follow up appointment in a town an hour away. Everything went well and on the way out of town we stopped for a treat.

This town is where her pediatrician is located but it is a town I know moderately well. I used to drive through all the time as a teenager and had a good friend who lived there. That friend and I used to make the same stop at a local produce store every time we went through town. And on Wednesday, I took the Wee Ladies to the same store to take a walk down memory lane.

This store had THE BEST chocolate chunk cookies. And also had the freshly squeezed orange juice. We used to buy the cookies by the container and inhale them all in one sitting. We had one container each, I think. They were chewy and chunky and homemade. They were amazing. Well, I guess they were because I still have a craving for them almost 20 years later.

I wanted the Wee Ladies to share these delectable treats with me. So after the appointment, we made the stop.

What I didn't really think about was that, as I mentioned, my last visit was almost 20 years ago. This obviously meant nothing to me. And the guy behind the bakery counter was very cordial as he tried to contain his laughter. In my face.

I took the Wee Ladies straight to the baked goods section. I searched for the same containers from 2 decades ago. To no avail, I went to the counter and quickly scanned behind the glass. And there they were. Big chocolate chunk cookies. The chunks looked kind of small from what I remembered but they still looked yummy. The guy came over and asked me what I would like. I went into this long speech about how when the last time I was there, I ordered these same cookies and that they are so good and did he know if the recipe was still the same as 1992?

Blank.

Crap. He was probably just a speck in his mommy's ovary at that time.

He politely replied with, "I'm not sure. I wasn't here then."

Of course you weren't. Jeez.

I asked for a half dozen and he went back into the kitchen and started bagging them. Fresh out of the oven. I was standing there beaming and doing jumpy claps. He must have thought that I was the strangest old mom ever.

And then I asked him to direct me towards the freshly squeezed orange juice and asked if in fact the store still carried that because Zehrs got rid of it in about 2001. He for sure thought I was the weirdest mom ever.

I left a happy mom. And I had happy Wee Ladies as the three of us (EvieG was at school) sat in the van and devoured half of the half dozen.

It was just like I remembered and even though I completely dated myself, it was worth every chocolaty, chunky second. Washed down with pulpy orange juice.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Sorry there were no posts this week until now.

Labels: DDM, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

posted by Dress Down Mom # 7:11 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Soap in the mouth

When I was a sassy 6 year old my parents thought it would be a good idea to travel to New Zealand for 3 weeks and leave my brothers and I with the lovely old lady who babysat us at the curling club. Living with this plump, rosy cheeked woman with the tight white curls that only the good overnight rollers could pull off was easy at first. And then we came to a head. She broke my baby doll that snuggled in when you pulled the string in her back. I was immediately full of disdain which quickly changed to sheer fear.

We always loved having her babysit us because she gave us Peak Frean Fruit Cremes and apple drink. You know the simulated apple beverage that had a tangy taste and was nothing like Allen's apple juice in a can. Once the stuff traveled through your bloodstream there was no escaping it and I can still taste it 3 decades later (as a sidebar, Nenny with Twins and I made a run to the grocery store in university and found us some good No Name apple drink for old times sake).

But then she came to stay.

There was one night after dinner when my brothers and I were fired up and horsing around. I had this cute little baby doll in a purple sleeper. It had a cute tuft of hair on top. I would pull the cord in her back and her head would would make a slow circular motion as if it was cuddling into you.

The babysitter must have had her curlers in too long and too tight because she was done with our shenanigans and was trying to get us ready for bed. That was when she leaned over me and grabbed my baby doll from me, telling me to march straight upstairs to get in my PJs or the doll was hers for the night. Just as she grabbed the head of the doll, I heard a popping sound. I took the doll from her wrinkled hands and gasped in horror as her head was hanging by the collar of her sleeper. I pulled the cord only to get a shuddering noise and jerking movement. The doll was destroyed and I was shattered.

The nasty babysitter stuck to her guns and insisted I follow through with the bed time routine. A battle ensued. I accused her of breaking the toy. She said we would fix it. I said it was broken for good and she didn't even apologize. This angered me even more. She told me to get into the bathroom to brush my teeth and I told her to Bleep Off. Yes I used the F-Bomb on her. At age 6.

She gave me a good brushing.

She grabbed my arm and lead me upstairs to the bathroom. She sat me up on the counter and turned on the tap. At this point I knew she was mad but wasn't expecting to get what was coming to me.

I got my mouth washed out with soap. For real.

Without a word she took the bar of Ivory and saturated a cloth that I assumed she was going to use to clean my face, or in between my toes. The next thing I knew, that soapy cloth was in my mouth and it was getting rid of all the bad words it could find. I almost threw up from gagging. She cleaned it out and said, "That will teach you never to speak like that again." By this point I was bawling and really wanting my mom and dad to come home to save me from this wretched woman. The end of this 'holiday' couldn't come any faster. I remember the lingering effects of the soap in my mouth and the stinging in my throat. Every time I smell Ivory, I can still taste it. That and Jack Daniels, but that is a whole other story, unlike the apple drink one. Needless to say, I spent the rest of that time in my life avoiding her at all cost and obeying the rules as I had to in order to survive.

I was never happier to see my parents when they returned home with my new stuffed koala bear and kiwi bird pin. Oh, and my Pet Rock.

The point of all of this is that I will never have to wash out the mouth of The Destroyer. She did it to herself today and the moment she came to me wreaking of vanilla anti-bacterial foam soap with her tongue hanging out and whimpering while demanding a drink of water took me back to that time. I laughed at her as I thought to myself about how I could use this to my benefit.

And so the first time she tries to swear at me I will remind her about the time she ate the soap and I would be pretty darn sure that she wouldn't want that in her mouth again.

I love it when the disciplining is done for me and all I have to do is make them think about it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS The nasty babysitter and I eventually made up and in then end I remember her as the lady who used to take care of us. Old school styles.

Labels: DDM, Nenny with Twins, The Destroyer

posted by Dress Down Mom # 9:16 PM 2 Comments

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What happens when the snacks run out?

Why is it that every time I am left alone for any length of time one or more of the Wee Ladies falls ill? Hubby is gone for the entire week and there is sick in the house. Myself included.

It is a vicious cycle when you are stuck at home caring for sick ones. You feel like crap, you are housebound and you eat. And then you do it all over again until you are able to escape the monotony of illness. There is nothing more you can do except clean using bleach and eat the bag of chocolate chips you bought for the cookies you were planning to bake with the healthy kids.

There is hacking at night, whining, and a bed invasion. By the morning you are crusted around your facial orfuses and the bags are swollen and a nice shade of gray. You slag through the day and end up making phone calls in between letting the toilet soak in cleaner and the sink absorb the Javex. The kids are glued in front of their second movie so it becomes the perfect time to mop the floor knowing you are guaranteed a footprint free wet floor this time. In order to entice a kid to eat some calories the day turns into one of KD at lunch and pancakes for dinner with Gatorade as a snack just as an attempt to get some electrolytes into a child.

And there is major parental snacking. Snacking out of housebound boredom. Nowhere to go, not even outside to play because sick kids don't want to play. No errands to run because sick kids are not welcome in public. No visits or trips to the Y because that is an automatic pass for the parental blacklist. What is one to do? Eat. Whatever is there. If there is nothing, improvise and make a batch of muffins using the raisins that you rediscover at the back of the pantry because you already ate the chocolate chips.

And by then end of the day, you are exhausted. Exhausted from all that you accomplished. Tired from hacking, whining kids and all that busy work.

But mostly from the snacking. And just when you think you are ready to call it quits for a few hours until the night time action begins, you have to head into the kitchen to clean up the salt crusted popcorn pot. And prepare yourself to do it all over again tomorrow.

I feel like I'm a teenager grounded from the outside world for a few days.

Where is my errand Gofer? But what happens when there is no more snack food? Will I resort to the old dried apricots?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 9:01 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

It wasn't my debit card that I lost

Sometimes I lose my mind. I leave it places which results in forgetting or losing all sorts of other things. Except the Wee Ladies. I have yet to forget or lose one of them. Actually, that is a lie. I lost Spark Plug last year. Click here for a refresher.

While I was in Toronto visiting Auntie Lisa back in December, I lost my debit card. This was nothing out of the ordinary. I had lost it before. I usually put it in my pocket and use as needed when I have the Wee Ladies with me. Taking my purse is risky. I would likely lose that too, so I simplify by reducing the chances of leaving my purse in a store and just take the card.

When I got home, I looked briefly in my purse. I did not see it sticking out of my wallet. I didn't see it in the zipped section with the lip gloss. And it wasn't mixed in with the gas and dry cleaning receipts. I searched my coat pockets. And my jeans that I had just removed from the washing machine. Nothing. Crap.

I took the second trip to the bank branch in the last 3 months. They hooked me up with another temporary card and I waited to get my new new shiny card.

It came and all was well for a while.

This past weekend I went to buy ski poles for EvieG because she is conquering all the big hills now. I used my debit card. DENIED. I tried again and selected the other account. DENIED. I was confused. I had just used it to buy a birthday gift for a friend of EvieG's. Freaking slightly, thinking someone has cleared me out of my last few dollars, I went home and told Hubby. Everything appeared normal online. I forgot about it, figuring it was just a glitch in the systems. I concluded it was something with the chip on the card.

I tried to make another purchase the following day. Again DENIED.

What?What?What?

This was getting humiliating. I was now that person the store clerks look at and think- She shouldn't be buying anything. She is maxed out. She has a spending problem. I felt my face turn red with embarrassment. Pull out the VISA again.

When I returned home, I immediately dialed up our customer service representative at the bank. They diligently looked into my problem, making sure there was no fraudulent activity on my card or at the last place I used it (the toy store?). They asked me a series of questions including my secret password, which I had forgotten. Typical.

Then he left the line for a couple of minutes. I waited patiently, folding underwear and matching socks. He came back and asked me to tell him some number at the bottom of my card, which I did. He then solved the mystery. He politely reminded me that I had reported a lost card. He went on to tell me that I received and activated a new one. I agreed with everything he was telling me. He then concluded that I had been trying to use my lost card.

I was using the lost card. The card that had been in my wallet the entire time. Right beside the new new one.

I had to call the bank to realize that I had lost my mind. Thanks to the guy at the bank for solving that problem for me.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:51 PM 2 Comments

Monday, December 14, 2009

All I want for Christmas are my Bubble Lights

We have temporarily lost some of our tree lights and ornaments. After packing and moving right after the holidays this past year, we have stuff in a variety of locations. I thought we brought all of the Christmas stuff with us, but I have discovered that my NOMA Bubble Lights are MIA. I am crushed. Click here for a refresher from last year.

This past weekend, we went out into the woods and emerged with our Fraser fir. It is smaller than years past, but it is because we have way less space. It is a good size, a normal size, if you will. We agreed that we had been overdoing it in the tree department. We found a nest in last year's tree. This year we have a smallish tree with lots of character.

I sent Hubby down into the crawl space to retrieve the decorations. Among hundreds of boxes labeled 'kitchen stuff', he only found one box of decorations for around the house and one box of tree lights mixed with one small box of glass ornaments. I asked him to check under the first of three boxes labeled 'fondue set' for the rest. Nothing.

WHERE ARE MY BUBBLE LIGHTS?

I can't go through Christmas without my Bubble Lights. These things are the best kind of fire hazard you could have. They don't make them like they used to anymore. And every year, keeping with my own personal tradition, I insist on heading into the local Canadian Tire and asking the staff to point me in the direction of the Bubble Lights. They stare at me like I am some crazy off the street. They don't know! They probably weren't even born when Bubble Lights were at their all time height in popularity. Kids these days.

Even EvieG is upset that there are no Bubble Lights this year.

We went for the multi-coloured twinkle lights and threw in a couple strands of LED lights to do our part for the environment (tree cutting excluded obviously). The box did have the disco ball and Santa lights. But I must have packed the Bubble Lights in bubble wrap and hidden them at the bottom of the box with the circa 1979-gold-spray-painted-dried-macaroni ornaments. And the rodent-nibbled-waffle-cone-popcorn-meant-to-be-an-ice-cream-cone-with-a-red-pom-pom-on-top ornament.

Devastated.

The fact that I don't have my old ornaments and retro lights bums me out big time.

I sucked it up. We bought one of those buckets o' ornaments for $25. They are plastic and they are all silver. So they do sparkle nicely with the twinkle lights. And it will work out fine because we won't risk losing anymore oldies but goodies in the loose grip of The Destroyer. We lost a few last year. So far we have had a lot fall but they just bounce and roll along the hard floor. If anything, I am going to have to go and stock up on extra hooks. I have noticed that some have fallen like pine cones and then I have to search for their proper branch. And they make the hooks green now so they camouflage. The breakable ones have gone 36 inches and above.

I am actually considering attaching the tree to the wall with fishing line. I see The Destroyer pacing back and forth in front of the tree looking like she is ready to pounce on her prey. I figure it is a matter of time before it all comes crashing down.

At least most objects on there are plastic. And I think we did use the fishing line last year. So maybe it's a good thing we don't have our old ornaments and Bubble Lights. I wouldn't want to risk losing them forever.

Ho hum. I will miss turning out the lights and sitting in front of the lit tree watching the mini lava lamps work their mesmerizing magic.

All the more fuel for me to come back next year bigger and better. I will make it my mission for 2010:

Find Bubble Lights, buy replacements for the existing dried up ones, and expand on current collection through online purchasing.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Mission

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:51 PM 1 Comments

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Absence of Funnies

I have been away, I know. I have not been feeling well. I have been tired and am trying to get to the bottom of some side pain I have been having for a long time now. Plus, times are busy. And with Halloween gone, the clocks turned back, I have returned to the blog world.

Halloween was super fun. Hubby and I went to a great bash last Friday with friends. I was the outlet and he was the plug. It was hilarious. EvieG was the wicked witch of the west. Spark Plug was a scary ghost and The Destroyer was a big, fat pumpkin. Hubby dressed up as a ghost to go trick or treating with the Wee Ladies.

We have so much candy in this house, it is ridiculous. I have no willpower. Hubby went out and bought the box of Coffee Crisp/Smarties/Kit Kat/Aero for... ummm...no one. We didn't have trick or treaters here. If we did, we don't know because we took off for downtown. So here we are with 140 less about 50 mini chocolate bars at this point.

I have some work to catch up on. I have to get to this month's Who's DDM, and I still have a bunch of reviews to do. I just can't seem to get my shizzle together. I am off in a far away place these days and hoping that I am not dying of something horrible. I have another ultrasound scheduled.

My apologies for being so erratic and so-not-funny. I am having a hard time finding my funnies these days.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 5:15 PM 1 Comments

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

My sewing + thread = bird's nest

I can't sew to save my life. It is beyond terrible. It is so bad, I will tell you exactly how pathetic it is.

EvieG is in ballet this year. She loves it, which is great. She is at a dance school that requires my attention to detail. I have to have her in a certain outfit, her hair has to be in a pony tail or ballet bun, and she has to wear pink leather ballet slippers.

These slippers are my nemesis.

We bought the slippers only to learn that I had to sew the elastic straps to the sides in a criss-cross. I thought to myself, Really? Can I pay someone to do it? I can barely sew the Sparks' badges onto her hot pink sash, let alone sew straps to ensure they fit right. I can't even hem pants. Or put the button in the right spot, for crying out loud!

I had one week to get it done.

It was last Saturday. The slippers were sitting on our bookshelf. I stared at them. As I settled into bed, I took out the hot pink thread that I used for Sparks and a needle. I put the thread through the needle. I attempted to stitch. The thread got caught up somewhere between the inside and the outside of the shoe and I couldn't straighten it out. There were loops everywhere. After 3 attempts, I cut the thread off and threw the slipper across the room. I had a nice pile of thread on my side table.

Three days passed. I told Hubby last Sunday that we needed to get this done and that I was going to pay someone to do it for me. He scoffed at me and told me he would do it.

I agreed and repeated that we had to have these by Wednesday.

No problem, he reassured me.

Last night the slippers still weren't sewn. Crap. I concluded I was screwed and that I would be scolded at ballet the following day by the instructor because EvieG would be without shoes.

I bucked up. I told myself, I can do this. I can. I can. I can sew the friggin' straps on these friggin' slippers.

I tucked myself into bed and pulled out my arsenal of needles, and my hot pink thread. I selected a big needle, figuring it would be easier to maneuver through the leather.

It broke. In half.

Some more thread to add to the pile.

I then picked out a teeny needle, figuring it would slide through easier. To push a needle through leather is tough work and I didn't have a thimble on me at that time. I mean, who owns a thimble? When I think of a thimble I think of Thimblina, or some fairy tale where a little fairy sits on top of a lovely silver thimble and then makes a nice house out of it where all of the little forest animals and fairies come to play, until she is swept away by the Thimble Prince who whisks her away to the bigger and better thimble palace.

I opened my side table drawer and pulled out my tiny bottle of medicated eye/ear drops to use as a makeshift thimble.

I punctured the bottle.

Again, I tore out the thread and added it to the growing pile. I moved the leaking bottle to the side table.

I tried one more time and successfully completed three stitches. I used the heel of the other shoe as my thimble.

Hubby came in. He looked at me and asked why I looked so frustrated. I showed him the slipper. He took a look at it and said, "This won't last! You only have three stitches in this!" and then he looked at it more carefully. He then asked, "Isn't this strap supposed to go across the shoe?"

I started laughing so hard I cried. I finally got one strap sewn and I sewed it to the WRONG SPOT!

I was so angry by this point that I threw the slippers across the room.

I told him he was doing it, and gave him a deadline of Wednesday afternoon.

He did one shoe last night. And in a totally different way than I did. He strategically placed the stitches on either side of the leather seam. Why didn't I think of that? He finished the other slipper this afternoon. With needle-noised pliers as his thimble. Why didn't I think of that?

The good thing that came out of all of this was that I realized A) I will never sew again unless I have a thimble, or needle-nosed pliers and B) I will never sew again. Who am I kidding? C) All of the thread I went through will make one nesting bird very happy.

I can't wait to find the nest in the bush out front lined with hot pink thread next Spring.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Hubby must have been a seamstress in his former life. EvieG loves her shoes that much more thanks to him.

PPS October Who's DDM is done. I am waiting for my web page helper to put it up for me. Keep checking back!

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Hubby, Mission

posted by Dress Down Mom # 9:06 PM 2 Comments

Thursday, October 1, 2009

It's a book day

It has been a book day, in addition to cooking soup and casserole. I received 2 books today. One is the first of 6 we are reading for book club. The second is a cookbook that I bought used from Chapters.

I am excited about book club. It is a big group, but not everyone can make it each month. They are a fantastic group of ladies. And not all moms either. All very sporty and active, and some quite artistic. It is a solid mix of people from all over the place who live such colourful lives ranging from marketing to teaching to film and television producing.

I joined the book club last spring. They don't read a book each month. They alternate with Socials. I love this casual mentality and also the philosophy of, 'the more, the merrier', which is a saying and a way of life I frequently guide EvieG with. When I asked to participate, I was met with a humourous and sarcastic response of, "Well, I am not sure if we are accepting new members", followed by a big laugh and a big welcome.

We are starting the year with a fiction novel titled, Run. And it is by an author named Ann Patchett. In short this book takes place on "a winter evening in Boston and the temperature has drastically dropped as a blizzard approaches the city. On this fateful night, Bernard Doyle plans to meet his two adopted sons, Tip the older, and more serious and Teddy, the affectionate dreamer, at a Harvard auditorium to hear a speech given by Jesse Jackson. Doyle, an Irish Catholic and former Boston mayor, has done his best to keep his two sons interested in politics, from the day he and his now deceased wife became their parents, through their childhoods, and now in their lives as college students. Though the two boys are African-American, the bonds of the family's love have never been tested. But as the snow begins to falls, an accident triggers into motion a series of events that will forever change their lives."

I can't wait to read it. Apparently the author weaves and stages a dramatic story to show the strength of family and how far we can go to protect our kids.

The second book is a cookbook that I can't wait to dive into. Thanks to Auntie Missy for suggesting it. It is nothing new, nothing earth shattering, but brings a shift to the way we plan and prepare our plates. It is called The New American Plate and is brought to us by researchers, doctors and cancer specialists.

The old American plate is traditionally a big piece of meat, a starch, and a veggie. They are telling us to make a shift on our plates. "It's not a short-term diet to use for weight loss but a new approach to eat for better health. The New American Plate emphasizes the kinds of foods that can significantly reduce our risk for disease. It also shows how to enjoy all foods in sensible portions. That is, it promotes a healthy weight as just one part of an overall healthy lifestyle...At the center of the New American Plate are a variety of vegetables, fruits, whole grains and beans. These plant-based foods are rich in substances that help keep us in good health and protect against many kinds of cancer. They are also naturally low in calories. When plant based foods are on our plate, we're able to eat more filling and satisfying meals."

I like this book because this is how I have been trying to cook anyway. Not for less calories, but for overall health. If you have been reading this blog, you will know I am slightly obsessed with keeping as far away from The Marble Orchard as possible, but also have a weakness for starchy treats, like muffins and Timbits. This book is a way to keep me in check. Also, I want the Wee Ladies to be able to eat a variety of fruits and veggies, dished up in different ways. A lot of the recipes are kid-friendly which is great. I don't want to rely on having the meat on the plate all the time. The book is not anti-meat. There is a lot of meat throughout. They just think it is time to scale back on the meat intake. So what I like about this book is that it provides me with different and easy, relatively quick recipes, all for the greater good. There is a whole chapter devoted to one-pot recipes. YAY! I have this in front of my face and will find it easier to plan and make the trip to the store knowing exactly what I am going to get. This will be great now that we are on the move more with activities and all that is going on around town. It will be good from so many perspectives.

This weekend is the CIBC Run for the Cure. We will be running in support of breast cancer research. I heard they get about 850 participants here in town which is amazing.

I look forward to getting myself tucked in and reading through these books.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I will be working on this month's Who's DDM and also a few new reviews. I will keep you posted on that front.

PPS It's another small town fall fair weekend! We had our fall fair last weekend and this week it is a neighbouring village. The Wee Ladies are having a ball with all that is going on here. They saw a sheep get sheared last week and watched a tractor pull. This weekend it's arts and crafts, apples, and scarecrows. Along with a birthday party and the Run for the Cure.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 6:42 PM 1 Comments

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

DDM Cab Company

We've been running around a lot the past couple of weeks. From here to there and there to here. I have started up a new business. And it's called DDM Cab Co.

There are a few things my customers must do.

- Buckle in at all times.

- Keep the antics to a minimum. No crying, sobbing, shouting, arguing, spitting food, or colouring on the seats.

- Keep all hands and feet inside.

- Don't litter inside the cab. Take garbage with you.

- No throwing.

- No pets allowed. Snails and caterpillars must remain in the bushes.

- Take all belongings.

- Stay seated until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.

- Keep shoes and socks on at all times.

- Use manners when requesting music selections.

- Use manners at all times.

- Stay out of the front seat.

- Extra change is for tips, not the CD player.

As we drive from the YMCA to home to choir practice and Sparks and back again, I continually enforce my rules. I am the driver and need to concentrate. I have to watch the speed limit and look out for cops. If I feel that my customers are not obeying the rules of the cab, I will abruptly pull over, tell them I will drop them off then and there and then ask them how they would like to proceed.

Once they are silenced, we continue on our way.

Cash only. Debit not accepted. Coffees welcome.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, DDM, Mission

posted by Dress Down Mom # 9:12 PM 0 Comments

Monday, September 21, 2009

Chugging some stamina

I went out on Saturday night for Auntie Lisa's engagement party. I went with my other best bud, Auntie Missy. I drove to Toronto late Saturday afternoon, was late in arriving at Auntie Missy's, had a shower, got dressed, put on my hot pink pumps and matching belt, and off we went. Wet hair and all.

I can't just go all day with the Wee Ladies and then drive a couple hours followed by a night of partying. It just doesn't happen without some help. And I'm not talking about a nap either.

I confess- I needed some help to get me going and then keep me going for a full night of full on. Yes, friends. I chugged a Red Bull on the way to the bar.

I suck.

This was not an occasion that happens very often- the going out part. And it certainly is not an occasion that will occur again- Auntie Lisa's engagement. I had to be on top of my game. I had to have some stamina to get me through. There was much socializing to be done. There was no bailing at 11 pm, or even midnight for that matter. Nope. We went out. And we went until 3 am.

As the night wore on, I noticed I was getting older. I noticed I was being surrounded by a lot of twenty somethings. And they look like they should have been tucked in at home with their moms and dads. They looked so little. It was hard to swallow that I had like 15 years on some of these kids.

And I needed a Red Bull to keep going. Can you believe it? I need to take an overdose of caffeine to ensure a solid night of good times.

Ideally, I would take a 2 hour nap around 4 or 5 pm. We all know that in this life with three Wee Ladies that it for sure isn't happening anytime soon.

It felt good to let my hair down and pull out my interpretive dance moves- the lawn mower, grocery cart, curler (that's a classic), among others. People didn't know my hair was as long as it is. All because I NEVER wear it down. It is always in a ponytail or bun. It was also nice to get dressed into something decent. And wear fun shoes.

I still have to get waxed though. I didn't have time to check that one off the list. We were in a dimly lit room anyway. No one could tell my brows gently touch each other.

And the Red Bull fueled DDM certainly didn't care. I didn't even feel the blisters on my heel and bunion.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:18 PM 2 Comments

Monday, September 14, 2009

What a 5 am line up in my world is for

This morning I reaffirmed my high level of commitment to my Wee Ladies. Starting at 4:30 am when my alarm went off. Getting up at this time also reaffirmed my high level of crazy.

In our town, most young, active families are members at the local YMCA. There is no community sponsored family programming here like there was in our old town. So when the time comes for program registration for kids at the YMCA, you have to be there right on time, or you will lose out in getting your kids involved.

The gym opens at 5:30 am.

I got up and got dressed in my exercise gear. I picked up coffee and met a friend outside to wait in line until the place opened. At 5:00 am, I was 9th in line. People had been there since 4:30 am. I have never seen anything like this. I am surprised I didn't see tents pitched and bonfires. By the time my friend got there 10 minutes after me, there was a line up of 30 or so. The staff at the Y even tell you that if you are not there by 5:20 am, you will be waiting for well over an hour.

What? What? What?

There were even people standing in line CALLING from their cell phones to see if they could get it done that way first!

This is not lining up for cool concert tickets anymore, friends. Or to get the latest fad toy, like the Cabbage Patch dolls. This is lining up in the dark AT THE YMCA TO GET MY KIDS IN JUNIOR BLOODY CHEFS AND SWIMMING. This is my life.

By 6:00 am, I had successfully signed them up for this term's activities. I felt I had accomplished something valuable. All before breakfast! I went for a 20 minute run and on my way by the front desk to my yoga class, my friend was still standing in line because apparently the computer system shut down.

Wow.

The things we do for our kids continually astonishes me. I would have never thought in a million years that I would participate in such shenanigans to sign my kids up for anything. But hey, with three Wee Ladies, scheduling is a must. And I have to make it convenient. I want to make sure we are maximizing our time there and that we are all getting the most out of our $69 a month membership. So yes. I was there. With caffeine flowing through my veins.

And to celebrate the successful registration, I went to an hour long spinning class taught by a woman who had completed a Half Ironman yesterday.

What has gotten into me?

Next thing you know, I am going to be taking swimming lessons and making snacks in Junior chefs just to be absolutely sure I am squeezing every last cent out of our monthly gym payments.

I even used a coupon to register to become a member.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:35 PM 4 Comments

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I have been better, thanks.

I have been feeling down and out the past week.

To refresh, we got home from our holiday and I somehow managed to bring back a kidney/urinary tract infection.

Long story short- infection, pain, emergency at hospital, antibiotics, sun burn due to meds, yeast infection, done. A week later I retested only to be told all was well.

Well, all is not well.

I have been wanting to pee constantly, bladder never feels empty, sharp side pain, kidney pain.

This sucks.

So, I go to the doctor tomorrow to get it all looked at AGAIN. I have had everything from MS to ovarian cancer in my head. Kidney stones are a more likely answer. I am a bit of a worrier. I have had myself in the Marble Orchard many times. I think I need therapy. I am amazed at the horrible things I concoct in my head when I am not in the best of health. Is this what motherhood does to us? Our minds think of these crazy things to cope? Because no one could cope without me- again, a thing I have in my mind. MAN! Or is it I am just a hypochondriac?

Anyway, many apologies for not being online. Once I have this thing figured out and I am out and about to get some better material, I will be back online.

I am tired.

Don't forget to click here to give me your contact info so you can win the Ni Hao, Kai-Lan DVD! I draw this Friday!

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS August Who's DDM is up. Click here to check it out.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 7:18 PM 2 Comments

Monday, July 13, 2009

Back on the grid

We're back! We had a good trip north and the Wee Ladies have grown several inches I think. Lots of playing, swimming, and mosquitoes. It is the year of the Blasted Prick. But we managed to carry on with the itching, scratching, and After Bite. We made it home and I admitted myself to the Emerg at our local hospital only to be diagnosed with a kidney infection/UTI. I am thrilled.

The north was full of fun and it really is a beautiful place. I was off the grid, didn't even check email for almost 2 weeks. It was grand and liberating to leave it all behind. I got through one novel and started a second, along with catching up on some magazine reading all after the Wee Ladies had gone to bed. Sometimes I would get through a chapter here or there during the day. The Wee Ladies were in bed early most nights after a day full of activity. And here I am during quiet time in the evening-

Bliss.

And then the pain set in. The burning, the pelvic pressure, and discomfort. The stitch in my flank. It wasn't too bad until the last few days there. I suspected what the doctor confirmed. We got home and then because Hubby was away for the night I waited another day to see a doctor. After heading over the the Emerg at our local hospital Saturday night, I peed into a cup, waited, and heard everyone's business. When it was my turn to see the doctor, she told me I had blood in my urine and that I had a kidney infection and UTI. I have never had one of these in my life. I am now on 10 days of antibiotics. Super.

Even though I felt it coming on, I was so busy with the Wee Ladies that I pushed it off to the side, figuring it wasn't a big deal. At least not a 10 day big deal. We moms are always shoving our needs aside. It's what we do. And I didn't say much to anyone as I don't like to complain too much.

I feel tired, exhausted. Sore in my kidney area on my back. I feel badly for not playing as hard as I should be with the Wee Ladies. EvieG told me she forgives me. Thank the skies above for that! A couple more days until the meds kick in and then I hope to bounce back as good as new soon.

Apologies to all of you for not having any guest posts up while I was gone. Nenny with Twins has been funneling around in a life of busy as she takes the twins to their first little day camp. Ever. And it has been good for them, but not good for her as she has had to deal with cranky, unhelpful ferry employees. My heart goes out to her as people make her already crazy day that much more challenging.

Do people really understand how challenging and tiring it is to take care of wee ones all day, everyday? Even if they have been through it themselves? Sometimes I am not so sure. At least we moms have each other.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 4:10 PM 1 Comments

Monday, June 29, 2009

Understanding toddlerese

As I was at the sink washing up the dishes this afternoon, Hubby was on our back patio with the Wee Ladies. I had just put some toys back in the toy chest. With my back to the action, I heard:

Spark Plug: Where's my horsey, Daddy?

Hubby: Your horsey?

Spark Plug: Yeah! My horsey!

Hubby: Hmmmm. Your horsey...

Not looking and assuming Hubby didn't know what he or Spark Plug was talking about because I am a mom and am fluent in toddlerese, I piped up without thinking twice:

DDM: It was right in here beside the toy chest. Her purple My Little Pony horsey was on the floor and I just threw it in the chest a second ago.

Hubby: No, that's not her horsey.

DDM: Oh? Well, what is her horsey?

Spark Plug: Horsey! My horsey! Neigh! Neigh!

Hubby: It's my 9 iron.

Of course it is. I should have known better. I may be fluent in the interpretation of the toddlerese language but I clearly have some difficulty understanding its meaning.

Just like when The Destroyer asks for a coffee, which really means "I want another hit of juice." Her drug is sugar; mine is caffeine.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here to check out my column at Scarlett Lounge.

Labels: DDM, Hubby, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

posted by Dress Down Mom # 10:18 PM 2 Comments

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The receipt was as long as my arm

I am just over a week into my rebooting. Click here for some background. I am doing well with this and feel a lot better. I have lost 5 lbs so far. Can I keep it up? If my bank account doesn't dry up first. If my receipts keep growing in length like they are, then I am in trouble.

I am eating a crapload of fresh veggies like salad with olive oil and flax seed, tomatoes, cucumber, broccoli, asparagus, and cauliflower. Tons of fruit too like strawberries, pineapple, melon, and oranges. I have been adding some tuna, salmon, sole, and beef to the mix. Also, yogurt and cottage cheese. I am drinking my 8 glasses of water a day which has been great. It keeps me full and was not as hard to do as I thought it would be.

So no bread. Or sugar, coffee, or alcohol. And really, it hasn't been too awful. In all honesty, I do crave coffee in the morning. Every morning. Today I had a mint tea. I don't crave beer or wine. I do crave bread. Spark Plug and I made chocolate chip cookies this afternoon and I did sneak some cookie dough. And had a bite of a baked cookie, just to make sure it turned out alright. I could feel my mouth start to salivate. And after the bite, I did want more. But I did not cave in.

I am continuing this for another week, at which time I return to Holistic Lady and have a debriefing. I wonder what she will say?

Here is the kicker. Buying this much fresh food is expensive! I am shocked at how much I spent when I bought everything for this menu. My receipt was probably the equivalent of a small forest. It was seriously as long as my arm from my shoulder to the tips of my fingers. We have gone through most of the food and I went shopping last Friday. Here we are not even a week later and I had to go back to the grocery store this morning to replenish most of the produce. It costs a lot for uber healthy eating. We are going to have to really watch what we buy after this 2 week diet is done. Maybe be a bit pickier as far as what I stock the fridge with; a little more bland with our menu but still try and maintain the good health.

I thought I would buy almond butter for the Wee Ladies until I read that it costs $7.69.

The important thing is that I am getting myself back on track. Hubby says I am smiling more. This is good. I have a better perspective and am calmer. I am more patient and even tempered and it has only been a week. Holistic Lady told me that this would likely happen.

If I keep this routine up, or a version of, what will I feel like after a month? 3 months? I am going to try to stick to it. I want to see how I will change as I keep going.

I hope to scour for spare change for those local strawberries instead of the grande mild coffee with double cream.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS As a follow up to the last post- Spark Plug and The Destroyer are sleeping amazingly well now that we blacked out their window. Thanks to the staple gun that made it happen.

PPS Don't forget to click here to enter to win a new Dora DVD!

Labels: DDM, Reflection

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:48 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Curb the crave

I am rebooting my system. Officially. I went to see a Holistic nutritionist last night and she is now the person who will provide me with a plan that consists of foods I can tolerate. Because after I left there, the only thing I can pretty much eat is dairy and barley. I am going to cleanse my system.

I have a history of intolerances. My brothers tease me about it all the time. I can't eat this and I can't touch that. I do not have any severe, life threatening allergies, but there are foods that my body tries to pick a fight with and sucker punches occasionally. The past few years I have become careless and have eaten more of the foods that I should be avoiding. The result is now sluggishness, hormone imbalances, fatigue, and irritability. I have been a real peach to live with. I can't eat those either. I have a stone-fruit allergy.

Some could argue that this is motherhood making me like this. It is to a certain degree, but it is out of character for me to break into tears at 3 am when I am supposed to be sleeping. I never have issues sleeping. Ever.

I made the call. The call for support to get my body rid of all the crap and start putting in what it likes. And cocoa isn't on that list either. Or alcohol. Or coffee. I'm screwed. She told me my body is not happy with me right now. It is like it is giving me the silent treatment. Like it's telling me to talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening.

This isn't forever. And it's not like I am going all Jekyll and Hyde every time I eat something that is not in the 'cool crowd' according to my body. I am detoxing and cleansing so in the end I will be able to eat whatever I want.

She tested me for food intolerances. She is making me a meal plan to abide by for the next 2 weeks. I don't have it yet. I am to drink 8 glasses of water today. I actually did it. From consuming a couple of coffees and a glass of wine and maybe a glass of water, I went over the 8 glass limit today. And it wasn't too hard, after I put my mind to it. I am dehydrated, calcium-deficient, zinc deficient, and a sugar/caffeine addict. I have had a headache all day as I go through withdrawal; as my body drop kicks the toxins away from my general area.

I love sweets. Anything starchy and sweet. Or chocolaty. I am that girl who without fail, walks down the cereal aisle and slows down to gawk at the sugar cereals. Every time. I never cave in to those, but I am sometimes very close. And it wouldn't be for the Wee Ladies. Oh, no. It would be all for me. I would hide it in its special place- 2 boxes behind the Brownberry Stuffing and to the right of the 5 lb bag of potatoes. Honey Comb, Sugar Puffs, Lucky Charms..... ooooh. Oh, and Count Chocula. For us, it is actually in reality a lot of fruit, granola bars, yogurt, teddy bear crackers, and whole grain everything. This is why I thought we were doing alright with our food and sugar intake. Apparently what I thought was good sugar, or low sugar, is still too much sugar. I never went for the Viva Puffs or Wagon Wheels, although I slow down in that aisle too. Holistic Lady looked at the menu I provided. "But there's hardly any vegetables on here!" she scolded. I said, "Well, we always have veggies for dinner." In her German accent, she sternly responded with, "That's not enough." OK, you win. I need to work on it.

So we are all going to get an overhaul; the Wee Ladies and Hubby indirectly. We will be living by a relatively wheat-free, fish-filled menu with I'll-have-veggies-with-that. And there is no dessert until you have eaten dinner. And dessert will be something like lentils, rice cakes, or Spitz sunflower seeds. Nuts are forbidden. I am legitimately allergic to tree nuts and mildly to soy and peanuts. I always eat PB and have increased my soy intake greatly over the past few months. I guess my body hadn't decided to let those things back into the cool club.

I am going to keep progress reports on this journey over the next few months as I straighten myself out. I will keep you up to date with what I am doing to make my life healthier. I want to have the energy to keep up with the Wee Ladies. I don't want to be moody like I have been at times.

I don't want to be as acidic as the litmus paper told me I am. Because according to Holistic Lady, that's when the toxins take over. And that is when you increase your chances of hitting up the Marble Orchard before your time. I don't want people to say, "Well, she was nice. But she could have avoided it. She should have said no to that last Timbit."

Plus, I don't like the word acidic. I don't want to be full of acid. That would make me poisonous.

Hiss.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Mission, Responsibility

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:46 PM 1 Comments

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Crest Oral B Blogger Challenge Complete

I was asked to participate in a one-month challenge by Oral B and Crest. I went to the dentist before beginning this challenge to get an overall report of the current state of my mouth. I then used both Oral B and Crest products over the course of a month and then after the elapsed time, I returned to the dentist to see if there was any improvement in my mouth.

When I went to the dentist, they told me my overall oral health was good. But I have a mild case of gingivitis. Most of it is in between my teeth. My plaque and tartar levels are fine. But the gingivitis is there because I am not a consistent flosser. I only floss when I feel lots of build-up between my teeth. This is not a good habit to be in. I made a pact with myself to start flossing regularly after this challenge was over.

For the next month, I used the Oral B Vitality Precision electric toothbrush. I brushed twice a day. I brushed for the allotted two minutes. After the two minutes were up, the toothbrush would change its speed and rhythm to let me know I was done. There was only one speed for this brush.

In the morning I used the new Crest Pro Health Day toothpaste. It is a blue, minty gel with a mild gritty texture. At night I used the Crest Pro Health Night toothpaste. This is a thicker minty toothpaste and was even more textured than the day product. It felt like there was even more sand mixed into it. These fluoride toothpastes work to whiten teeth, freshen breath and battle cavities, gingivitis, plaque, sensitivity (hot and cold), and tartar.

Once I finished brushing, I used Crest Pro Health Antiseptic Oral Rinse. This is an alcohol free rinse that is supposed to kill germs that cause bad breath, plaque, and gingivitis. I was also to use the Crest Glide floss, but because I wasn’t a regular flosser, the dentist told me to continue my normal routine in order to get the most accurate results for this challenge. So I only used the floss when I felt I needed to.

I stuck to this challenge really well. I did what I was supposed to do without problems, even though 2 minutes sometimes seemed like forever with the Wee Ladies running around in the morning.

I liked the toothbrush. It got to all of the teeth and polished well. My mouth felt really clean using it. I charged it every 3 days or so, when it started to slow down in speed. I like to really give my tongue a good cleaning with my toothbrush. I felt that the small head of this brush did not do as good a job as my manual toothbrush. I also found that after this challenge was over, my gums and teeth felt more sensitive to the touch and to hot and cold temperatures. I concluded that I could have pressed too hard while I was brushing. I have not continued to use the electric toothbrush and have gone back to my manual toothbrush where I feel I can control my brushing a little bit better.

I am still using the Pro Health Day toothpaste. It feels and tastes fresh. It is light and makes my mouth feel clean. It makes me feel good about starting the day without really bad morning breath. I think it has a tangy taste to it and the minty flavour doesn’t seem to last long. It does the trick though.

The Pro Health Night toothpaste is a real hum-dinger of a toothpaste. It is thick and creamy and grainy. You brush your teeth with this stuff and you really feel like you are giving your mouth the gears. It leaves you feeling really clean and it’s almost like you can see the coffee stains disappearing. It is more heavy duty as far as the sandy texture and the only thing I worry about, after having discussed this with people in the dental field, is how it affects the enamel on my teeth. I will not use this long-term, but will get it out a couple of times a year to give my teeth the what-for; to whiten and brighten them.

The Pro Health rinse is great. I never used a rinse, but I do now. Twice a day. I swish and gargle for 30 seconds after I brush in the morning and after I brush and floss at night. It leaves me feeling super clean, like if I were to smile in the mirror, my teeth would give that shiny little sparkle and include the dinging sound like in the cartoons. I feel like the germs are dying on contact with this stuff. I am on my second bottle. And I bought the big size.

I always used Oral B Satin floss. Not anymore. I love the Crest Glide floss. It is thicker, doesn’t cut my gums as easily, and had a hint of mint. It is gentler on my gums and shows more evidence of food. I am a fan of this floss and it is now my floss of choice.

I went back to the dentist for my ‘after’ appointment to see if my gingivitis had improved. It has a little bit. The biggest problem area is at the back of my mouth in between the molars. Hey, it is a step in the right direction. I’ll take it. My biggest problem is the lack of flossing, which I am already improving on. I have been flossing almost everyday since the challenge. They told me that once I start flossing more, I will see a noticeable difference in my oral health.

I thank Oral B and Crest for this opportunity to try out some new products. I will gladly use the rinse and floss consistently. The toothpastes are products I will use sporadically. I will not use the Vitality Precision toothbrush regularly. I am definitely more of a manual toothbrush person.

This challenge made me more aware of the time I spend on my teeth and has helped me establish an improved routine for maintaining a decent level of oral health. My gingivitis hopefully will continue to get better. More than anything, this challenge finally got me to floss regularly. That is amazing. I finally realized that I can take the time to brush thoroughly, rinse, and floss, and not miss out on anything.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I included this post over in DDM's Try Ons with pictures. Click here to see it over there.

Labels: DDM, Mission

posted by Dress Down Mom # 8:17 PM 0 Comments

Friday, May 29, 2009

DDM Call: G.A.W.K. 'n T.O.O!

Whoop! Whoop! It is going to be a great night! This DDM is going away without kids to tie one on with her pals. I call this the G.A.W.K. 'n T.O.O. It's like its own bird call, similar to a rooster call, only with less syllables. It has been a while since I have whooped it up in style. And I am going all out tonight, friends.

It was Auntie Lisa's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday to her! Tonight is the shin dig of a celebration. How are we going to do it up? Disco Bowling. Followed by the pub. I am going to be with my people, whooping it up with retro tunes, beers, and outfits to match. Nenny with Twins, Mamacita, and a bunch of other pals smashing pins at the end of the lane with the strobe lights, disco balls, and A-Ha in the background. Or Platinum Blonde. Maybe Naked Eyes, Stacey Q, or Extreme. I will be in my happy place.

When life gets busy with the Wee Ladies, I can sometimes feel stifled and exhausted. I feel like I need an outlet. And so I seize these opportunities when I can go out without kids. And then the demons are unleashed. I talk a million miles a minute, gossip, discuss life as it is now, reminisce about days and parties past, and enjoy my friends. I am so excited I could explode.

I was talking to Nenny with Twins this afternoon. She reminded me to bring my disposable bowling socks. And convinced me that I MUST grab myself a Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks. I have never had one of these concoctions, but I will give it a go. Sushi for dinner, party tonight, and retail therapy tomorrow en route home. Sigh-of-relief...

And so I send out my GAWK 'n TOO call to my fellow DDM's; to those I will see tonight and to those who I will not, but encourage you to execute your own time away sometime soon to keep your sanity intact.

DDM CALL: GAWK 'n TOO! WHOOP! WHOOP! GAWK 'n TOO!

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Congratulations to K.B. who won the Huggies Pure and Natural Diaper giveaway! Thanks to everyone for participating! There are more giveaways coming your way in the next few days so keep checking back!

PPS Have a fun weekend and thanks for reading!

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 1:44 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hitting the high note

The sounds I hear in one given day are meshed together to make the 'Day in the Life of DDM Opera' because it always includes my soprano, open-mouthed, AHHHHHHHHH! as the climax.

Today my opera featured many sounds that would drive any mom to a cry-out in frustration, confusion, and exhaustion. We had a nice blend of:

- the cell phone ring (Europe's Final Countdown is my ring tone- yes, it's true. And classic. It turns heads.)
- the van's alarm beeping in harmony
- the Wee Ladies yelling to drown out the car alarm while covering their ears
- the underlying whispers of passers-by who talk about and review my opera
- my own sneezing and sniffling as I fight seasonal allergies
- the Barenaked Ladies Snack Time album on repeat
- Basil, our Wee Westie barking in the passenger seat to drown out the car alarm
- the motorcycle cruising by the van
- the lady I am talking to repeatedly asking me the same questions that I am not answering because of the noises of my daily opera

By the end, when I, the keynote character, cannot take it anymore and need it all to stop, screech a soprano pitch that could rank alongside the best of the best opera singers. My piercing high note could break windows.

I wouldn't want that. Because then the car alarm would go off again. And then all of the other car alarms around us.

Who wants front row seats to this spectacular production? It truly is a show worth witnessing. The matinees aren't as exciting. I suggest catching the late show when I am at my wit's end. The high note is usually a real doozy at this point in the day.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Drama

posted by Dress Down Mom # 9:10 PM 0 Comments

Monday, May 4, 2009

Preparing me for the big question

Our family likes to discuss things in the van. When we drive we are contained with no where to run. We ask questions, come up with ideas, talk, and occasionally break into song. We have our most serious talks while on the road. When the Wee Ladies are wondering, they can wonder out loud in the van knowing they will be answered. There is no 'hang on a minute' in the van. So it seems appropriate that they ask the heavy questions in the van. I have no where to hide. I have to answer. And so I did.

On Friday as we were cruising along, EvieG decided to fire the questions at me like I was in the middle of a smelly, adolescent filled gym class playing dodge ball; sweaty intermediate kids running at and around me, pelting me with a big, red rubber ball that stank like hot glue. Only in the van my newly coloured brown hair with caramel highlights was being stared at with 6 blue eyes as they awaited my response. 2 of those eyes were begging for a snack and nothing more.

EvieG: Mom, when can I drive a car?

DDM: When you are 16 years old. Right now you are only 5. First you have to be 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, and then 16. That is when you can drive. And it will be a while yet, right? That is a lot of numbers to still go through.

EvieG: But Mom, why do I have to wait until I am 16?

DDM: Because that is the law. That is the rule. You don't have to be 16. You can wait even longer if you want.

EvieG: Mom, I can't wait to drive and then be a mommy too. I am going to have my own babies. I am going to have a boy and a girl. I am going to name them Max and Megan. Then you can be a grandma, like Grandma and Goo Goog!

(I thought she was going to say Max and Ruby and then I would have, for a fleeting moment, thought we watch too much TV)

DDM: That's nice, but I am not ready to be a grandma and you have a lot of time until that stuff happens. I think I want to work on being a mom for a while first. And why don't you just enjoy being a kid for a while? Being a kid is so fun. You can play all day, sleep whenever you want, and go to school. There is so much to do! Being your mom is lots of fun, but it is busy. When you are a kid, you don't have to worry about laundry, making meals, cleaning dishes, and making sure everyone is looked after! I have a lot more things to think about. Like paying bills. You don't have to worry about that stuff yet. So just enjoy being as kid so I can enjoy being your mom. Sound good?

EvieG: Ok. (long pause) Mom, how does a baby come out?

DDM: Stare at road in front, flashbacks of pain, the crowning, and screaming, mind swirling, take a sip of coffee, think how the heck do I respond? What? What? What did she just ask? Well..... hmmmm. How do you think a baby comes out?

EvieG: I don't know!

DDM: Do I? Don't I? Do I say? Medical version? Too young. Description? Make it simple. Really tell? Nope. LIIIIIEEEEE. I lie about all of the holiday characters. I can lie about this too. I WILL NOT feel guilty. LIE!!!

Well, hmmmmm... you know how we have a belly button on our tummy?

EvieG: You press it! And the baby comes out?

DDM: Ok, sure! POP! (laughter erupts) How about some lunch?

I just easily bought myself 3 more years with that one. And yes, I am already thinking about how I will respond to, "Mom, how does a baby get in to your tummy?"

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Head on over to Scarlett Lounge to check out my May column! It's up!

Labels: DDM, EvieG

posted by Dress Down Mom # 12:25 PM 0 Comments

Monday, April 6, 2009

A stranger nicely told me that I am a nag

I was at the doctor's office today when a stranger pointed something out to me that all moms do. Something that we don't always realize we are doing. We are giving orders, and the same orders, on repeat. Even after the child has followed the given directions, we still give the orders.

Today's scenario- I was getting the Wee Ladies dressed to leave the office. I asked Spark Plug to come over to me to get her coat on. She did just that. As she was standing right in front of me, practically on my toes, I said, "Please come here and get your coat on!"

The lady sitting beside us blurted, "But she is 'here'. She is standing right there in front of you!" And she laughed. She proceeded to tell me about all the times she used to say the same things to her daughters. Things like, "Come here, Julie! We need to go now!" Her other daughter would say, "Mom, Julie is right in front of you. You don't need to keep telling her to come over there. She is there!"

It is like telling EvieG to buckle up in the car 40 million times before I put The Guzzler in drive. She buckled up after the 5th time I asked. I-am-on-autopilot. I get into the groove with a mission in mind to get the Wee Ladies organized and prepared for departure or asking them to get things done. And they get so annoyed with the record-repeat.

We will be walking and I will state in multiple layers, one after the other, "Come on! Stay with Mommy! Hey! Hurry on! Come on!....." and over again, in that order. And they are with me. In fact, they are only about two steps away from me. What do I think they are going to do if I turn off the repeat-mode? Run out onto the street in front of a bus? Jump into the fast flowing stream to our left? Really, I mean is it that necessary for me to be repeating myself like I have completely lost my mind and need to use my outer-monologue for fear of losing my train of thought or the task at hand?

The classic for me is the old, "Come on! Get dressed! You have school! Are you getting dressed?" This drives EvieG nuts. "Moooommmm! I am!" she will moan. It is like I think my power-pellet-repeat is going to get her to dress faster. In fact, I think it does the opposite. It distracts her and irritates her to the point of where my 5 year old is rolling her eyes at me.

I think the stranger in the doctor's office did her good deed for the day. She made me realize that I am in such a pattern of repeating myself that I don't even hear what I am saying anymore. She totally called me on it. And not in a snitty way. In a humourous way because we had a good chuckle about all the things we say but don't hear.

I am going to try and listen a little better.

I wonder how many times I say, "Shhhhhhhh!" in a day. Maybe I should start a tally. Just like I did with how many times I said, "Just a minute!"

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Reflection

posted by Dress Down Mom # 9:18 PM 0 Comments

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Revisiting Old Posts

It is spring and today we are busy on bikes. To expand on yesterday's blog, I am posting one from the archives today. Have a read of Mommy Drill Sergeant from last May. Enjoy!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Mommy Drill Sergeant

What does it take to lead a Combined Joint Task Force? A Drill Sergeant. Someone who can keep everyone in line. Someone who has an extraordinary sense of organization. Someone who can fire orders and demand a quick response. Someone who can repeat themselves and increase their decibel level each time. Someone who can multi-task with their eyes shut. That is me most of the time. Mommy Drill Sergeant.

It takes a Mommy Drill Sergeant to keep a house in order and children in line. I line them all up in the morning side by side and demand they stand at attention. With their backs straight and chins up, they stand while looking straight ahead and wait for the orders. I shout, "EvieG, get dressed. Spark Plug, brush your hair. Destroyer...stand still." They reply in unison, "Yes, Mom!" And off they go while I move through the house in a whirlwind like the Tasmanian Devil getting everything up to snuff.

In reality, I find that I bark orders all day long. And I think I repeat those orders over and over again. It gets to the point where I feel like I should put the lot of them through Boot Camp. "EvieG, I said get your coat on 5 times now! Drop and give me 5! Not only because I have asked five times, but because you are almost 5!" I get so irritated when I find myself repeating orders. I can't even begin to count the number of times I order, "Let's go!" and "Come on!" in a day.

EvieG dawdles. I always tell her to stop dilly-dallying and just do what I ask. It doesn't seem to always work. She takes forever it seems to get things done that I ask her to do. Simple things like getting dressed or getting her shoes on. Not only that, but every day we go through the old, "Stay in your seat when you eat!" I say this probably a half a dozen times during each meal and snack. The only time she really listens and responds is when Mommy Drill Sergeant comes out in full fury. Not only does she have to deal with the wrath of the Officer on Duty, but she suffers with the loss of a privilege. Like the computer. I never take away books, because I don't believe that is positive. But I will take away TV (Oh, no!) or movie time. She is crushed when this happens and it doesn't happen often, usually because she listens after I threaten the loss of the privilege. That is how it works. I threaten and she listens. Or I count to 5 before the threat ever presents itself.

Threats work well. I always used to say before EvieG was born that I would never threaten because I felt it wasn't productive. I thought that it was empty language which would just upset her with no positive outcome. Because you have to follow through. If there is no follow through with a threat, well then it is all just null and void.

I succumbed to laying down the threats. We threaten. We threaten to take things away, threaten to not go certain places like the park. We do follow through most of the time, but sometimes we forget. So it ends up never happening. I know for a fact that I have threatened to take computer away for the entire duration of the following day. EvieG gets upset and I repeat to her why it is happening. The next day comes along and after she has been playing on the computer for 15 minutes, I suddenly realize, "Hey! She wasn't supposed to be on there!" Whether or not she remembered is undetermined. I suspect she did remember and got away with it. Those darn kids!

The threats that occur now are the early stages of what grounding will be. When they are older, the threats will still be there but the privileges will change. We won't let them hang out with their friends, go to a party, or other social event. And definitely no slumber parties with their friends. I bet they will bounce back into line faster than they do now! They won't have done their chores and I will say, "So I understand there is a birthday party you want to go to on the weekend," and all I will see is dust as they fly up the stairs or out the door to do what they need to do. Mommy Drill Sergeant still in power.

When the orders aren't being obeyed, threats work. And if I have to repeat myself too many times I get severely ornery. They don't like it when I am ornery. I don't like it when I get ornery. So most often times they listen after a couple of repeats. Because it is at that point that my eyes get big, my voice loud, and the hair raises on my back. They duck away from me and run as fast as their little feet will take them to the front door to put their coats and shoes on. So I usually don't have to threaten. But there are lots of times when I do, and I am not ashamed for doing it.

Because if it gets the job done and they know who's BOSS and who's running the show, then it is a threat well served. Mommy Drill Sergeant, Master of Threats.

All's I'm sayin's all.

That's it for this week. Thanks for reading! I will be posting again on Monday for the week. Please come back to read more tales from the zoo.

Labels: DDM

posted by Dress Down Mom # 2:08 PM 0 Comments

Friday, March 27, 2009

I have tu-lips

Spark Plug turns 3 next week. I can't believe that she is three already. We were discussing birthday plans this morning. All 5 of of us were snuggling in bed-

DDM: Your birthday is next!

Spark Plug: It's my birfday?

DDM: Yes! Your birthday! It is going to be fun! It was my birthday and now it is your turn!

Spark Plug: Me?

DDM: Yep. And we are going to have a party and a cake. And everything is going to be tulips! We are going to have tulips everywhere!

Spark Plug: But Mommy- you have 2 wips. Right dere! (she points to my mouth and touches my lips)

Hysterical laughter from all....

DDM: Ohhhhh, not two lips on my mouth.....tu-lips the flowers!

Spark Plug: I have 2 wips!

DDM: Yes. Yes, you do.

I bet that the Spring tulips smell way better than the morning breath that accompanied my 2 wips.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a great weekend. We are busy decorating for Easter, planning Spark Plug's tu-wip party and catching chipmunks....

Labels: DDM, Spark Plug

posted by Dress Down Mom # 7:27 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fat Traps, Part 2

Back in October, I wrote about the fat traps that were killing me. I thought the chocolate mint Girl Guide cookies were bad. I have found out otherwise. It is not the Fall cookies that are harmful to my well being, but instead the Spring lot. The vanilla and chocolate cream filled fat traps. I have 2 cases sitting in our house. 2 Cases minus 2 boxes, thanks to yours truly and we have only had them for a day.

Never mind Philly cream cheeses, these things are a little piece of heaven. And they are addictive. Last time we only had one case of the mint cookies to sell. This time I thought, Well, hey, these ones are waaayy more popular than the mint cookies, so I need to have 2 cases for EvieG to sell. Secretly, you know I was thinking that I needed to have more boxes hanging around to get into myself. Blah. Shame on me.

Here's the breakdown per 2 cookies:

-140 calories
-6g of fat
-0g cholesterol (thank the heavens above)
-21g of carbs, 10g of which is sugar and 0g of fibre
- 1g protein
-4% iron for my anemic friends

Today I have already received 12% of my daily iron intake. After tonight's meat lasagna, I will feel like I accomplished something today.

Here's the thing with these fat traps- you get 20 cookies per box. 10 vanilla and 10 chocolate. The box is evenly split. If you have one chocolate cookie and no vanilla, it completely throws the dynamics of the cookie ratio out of whack. You must eat the vanilla cookie with the chocolate one to keep the box balanced. Even. By not maintaining equal representation of vanilla to chocolate, you do not sit well until all is 50/50. And so you eat. And eat. Before you know it, you have hit half of your daily caloric intake and it doesn't even technically count as a real meal. But I make it into one. Today I had a good lunch of 6 Girl Guide cookies.

I did this to myself. Call it self-loathing, I don't know. I KNEW I would get into them even though I tried to hide the cases in the laundry room. And the other thing about this? The other thing is that we don't know as many people here as we did in our other town. There, it was easier to sell the ONE case of mint cookies off. Now I have 2 cases (to be clear, that's 24 boxes of cookies) sitting in the small space. The laundry room is just an extension of the kitchen. I might as well have them beside my bed.

Crap.

I had every intention of having EvieG sell some yesterday to my family who came to visit. But then we forgot and after I closed the door I realized that I still had unsold cookies sitting there.

At $4 a box, I am in debt $8 already. I say that by the end of it all, I will probably be financially responsible for one case at $48.

Fifty bucks on fat traps when I could have bought something worthwhile.

Hey, at least I am supporting the "programming and activities for girls across Canada." As I sit and get fat off their cookies, I can contribute to the well rounded healthy experience and opportunity a girl can get with the Girl Guides of Canada.

Is that irony?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Responsibility

posted by Dress Down Mom # 1:58 PM 4 Comments

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Taking a break

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Playing like a kid again

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

No running in the gym!

Friday, March 5, 2010

I completely dated myself

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Soap in the mouth

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What happens when the snacks run out?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

It wasn't my debit card that I lost

Monday, December 14, 2009

All I want for Christmas are my Bubble Lights

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Absence of Funnies

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

My sewing + thread = bird's nest

Thursday, October 1, 2009

It's a book day

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

DDM Cab Company

Monday, September 21, 2009

Chugging some stamina

Monday, September 14, 2009

What a 5 am line up in my world is for

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I have been better, thanks.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Back on the grid

Monday, June 29, 2009

Understanding toddlerese

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The receipt was as long as my arm

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Curb the crave

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Crest Oral B Blogger Challenge Complete

Friday, May 29, 2009

DDM Call: G.A.W.K. 'n T.O.O!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hitting the high note

Monday, May 4, 2009

Preparing me for the big question

Monday, April 6, 2009

A stranger nicely told me that I am a nag

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Revisiting Old Posts

Friday, May 2, 2008

Mommy Drill Sergeant

Friday, March 27, 2009

I have tu-lips

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fat Traps, Part 2

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