Wednesday, February 3, 2010
A Spring Olympics for EvieG
While driving home last night from EvieG's choir practice, she began to ask questions about the timing of the Olympics. Generally, she is a kid of order and can't quite wrap her head around her perceived gaps in the order of things.
EvieG: Mom, when is the next winter Olympics going to be?
DDM: Well, 4 years from now. There is a Winter Olympics, then a Summer Olympics in 2 years, and then 2 more years after that is the Winter Olympics again. They take turns every 2 years.
EvieG: Oh. But why don't they have it every year?
DDM: You know, it takes a lot of time and money to plan for all of the events and for all of the athletes to train (just guessing here, not an Olympic expert).
EvieG: But why don't they have Spring and Fall Olympics?
DDM: Well, they group the sports into the ones you do in the winter time like skiing, skating, and hockey and the ones you do in the summer, like running, swimming, and rowing.
EvieG: I think they should have Olympics every season. I know what I would do for the Spring Olympics.
DDM: Oh ya? What's that?
EvieG: Watching the rain fall.
I burst out laughing. I explained that watching the rain is sometimes about all you can do in the Spring on certain days.
And where is the sport in that? Lifting the remote control.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: EvieG
Monday, January 11, 2010
Questionable Influences
Don't you love it when you go out to a restaurant or somewhere and just as you are all ready to order, your kids pull a fast one?
We went out for a bite to eat. We ordered our drinks. We perused the menu. We decided what we wanted and the Wee Ladies had also decided. The server returns with the drinks and the straws in the paper wrapper. As she asks us for our order, we begin to list off our requests. Just as she looks to EvieG, she is greeted by a paper straw wrapper. EvieG took the top off the wrapper, blew into the straw sending the rest of the wrapper torpedoing through the air.
Awesome.
I get the old stare-over-the-glasses look.
Hubby was sitting across from me with a sheepish grin. I felt like we just stepped back to third grade when he would have been shooting tiny bits of saliva soaked paper across the classroom, pelting the cute girl on the ear.
What other bad habits or influences have seeped into the ever-growing repertoire of inappropriate acts? Well, Uncle Jeff was here for Christmas. And with that comes a whole new exposure to sayings and acts of silliness. Like rhyming off the saying that is plastered on his t-shirt: I make house calls. Nice. And the old, "Pull my finger!" He burps and passes gas in our house. He buys us Dashboard Hula Girls and fridge poetry that consists of movies' greatest lines. Obviously a few magnets went in the trash. There were some bad words and EvieG knows how to read. Today she asked where the magnet was that says, "I'm ready for my closeup." Oh, and she also asked where she could find the one that says, "I see dead people."
While they clearly don't get the full meaning behind these things, they think it is absolutely hilarious. They have many good laughs with the uncles and Hubby. It is good that they have some silly boy influence in their lives. It keeps them sharp.
I wonder if we will ever get a call from school about EvieG's pea-shooter? I have told her that whatever Uncle Jeff and Uncle Paul teach them stays in our house. And it never leaves. EVER.
But I have one rogue influence. Their father. Now what do I do about that one?
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS I have sent off my Who's DDM to my web guy last week. I have not heard anything from him. I don't know where he is or if he is away. I am going to try and get it up ASAP. My apologies.
Labels: Battle, EvieG
Monday, October 19, 2009
Character building
EvieG is in grade 1 and she is seeing and learning new things all the time when it comes to her peers. From exposure to 'stuff' and to her language development, we have had to really begin hammering home some of life's little lessons.
Here are a few examples of what is happening as EvieG moves through grade 1:
1. I want sparkly markers. My friend has them and says she got them at Wal*Mart for $5.00.
Okay. I told her if this is something she needs to have to enhance her artistic talents, then she will buy them herself. With her allowance money from her piggy bank. I would provide transportation free of charge.
Before we left, we had a discussion about whether or not $5.00 would be enough. She told me that her friend said that was the price. And so came the list of questions from me:
So, if so and so told you that jumping off a bridge was fun and that you could fly would you do it? So, if so and so told you that you won't get cavities from too much sugar, would you binge until you got sick? If so and so told you that The Smurfs were making a comeback, would you believe her?
EvieG ended up taking 3 dollars extra just in case. I should have let her take the $5.00 and let her learn the hard way. Because Wal*Mart never makes anything even. It's always something like $5.83. Which it was.
We got to the checkout and went self-serve. Faster and more efficient. EvieG scanned her item and put in the correct amount, all with some help. She ended up with 17 cents change to put back in her piggy bank, along with the extra money she had brought just in case.
2. "And I was like, so excited, and then she goes, 'Come and play over here, EvieG!'"
Thanks to Auntie Missy for this response- "Pardon me? You were like what? What are you like? What do you like? And where is she going? What is she doing?"
This is what I have been challenging EvieG with in the last couple of days. I can't stand this kind of language and I will stop her mid-sentence to correct her poor use of speech. I correct this and her pronunciation of 'th'. It is not the sound of a 'd' but 'th'.
When she found out that Uncle Paul was coming for Thanksgiving she announced in the car that she was going to pull his finger. This is something she does with her uncles. They prey on her naivete and convince her that she should pull their finger. She knows now that she is intoxicated by their stench when she does. So instead, she usually defers to her sisters, who still don't get it.
Give it time.
As we were driving, she did remind me that Uncle Paul was going to try and get her to pull his finger during his visit. She said, "I will just tell him, Not your middle finger! Because that's bad."
It is only a matter of time before she comes home from school asking about the meaning of a swear word. Or if she can add The Thong Song to her play list on her MVD player (MP3).
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: EvieG
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A sick day is no pity party
EvieG got sent home from school today. She has been complaining about a sore ear since Saturday night. And so came EvieG's first-ever sent-home-sick day from school. She is working on her sick day maneuvering in an attempt to make it an extension of her weekend.
I didn't think she had an ear infection. She hasn't had one since she was really wee. She doesn't have a cold. The only thing I could think of was swimmer's ear. She had a lesson last week.
We have been treating her with TLC. Some Advil and Auralgan; that ear medicine your mom used to warm up and then drip into your ear. You would lay in bed with her rubbing your back until you could only hear it gurgling as she stuffed your ear canal with cotton balls. Well, we are now treating our Wee Lady the same way.
I wrote a note to the teacher informing her of the current complaint. And sure enough, just as I suspected, I received a phone call not even an hour into the school day. Come pick up EvieG. I called the doctor's office to get her in for a quick once-over.
EvieG came home for the rest of the day. Bring on play time.
Lessons in coming home from school have been swiftly and effectively communicated.
1. When you are sent home from school, you must put on your pajamas. 2. You must find your favourite pillow and stuffed animal. 3. You must assume a horizontal position. 4. You will receive a glass of water, or maybe ginger ale, depending on the ailment. 5. You will rest. There will be no play.
Just as I spotted her heading up the stairs with a pair of scissors for her craft and the Tinker Toys to build with her sisters, I kindly asked her what she was doing. She told me she was going to play with her sisters.
I don't think so.
And so I explained to her that if she was sick enough to be sent home from school then she for sure was not healthy enough to play with her sisters. I threatened to send her back to school, at which time she pleaded that she was unwell and needed to stay home and rest.
Well then put the Tinker Toys away. And the Barbie car while you are at it.
I could see her little mind working a mile a second, trying to figure out how she would get away with managing to pull off a successful sick day that wouldn't result in a long 6 hour time span where she was bored to tears. Finding a quiet place in her room with the door close perhaps? Taking a nice, warm bubble bath? Watching movies of her choice?
Once she learned that this was not a weekend, or a day off, she asked after lunch if she could go back to school.
Huh. Got you!
By that time, I had made an appointment with the doctor and told her she could resume her academic career tomorrow. She agreed and continued to rest.
It turns out that there is no sign of infection or anything. But her ear still hurts. And the doctor's recommendation is nothing more than extra TLC.
Sure, I can do that. But without it becoming a pity party. Or a party away from school. There will be no bell to beckon my services, or milkshakes, or special Jell-o. I will do KD, and I will tuck her in and make sure she has what she needs. I will be a mom and make her feel comfortable and properly nurtured.
And you can bet that tomorrow she will be in perfect shape and will be running out the door to go to school.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS We had a grand Thanksgiving weekend and thanks to my cousins for hosting Sunday dinner!If you haven't read this month's Who's DDM, then head on over and take a gander. These photos will make more sense to you.
 You can see the alternating tomato and apple juices. And the pickle dish. I love the turkey candle holder. Where do you buy those? By the way, my cousin and I were in charge of the juice.
Olives, sweet pickles, pickled cauliflower! Every table had its own!
It's the little things that make a big dinner so great. Don't you think? Labels: EvieG
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
My sewing + thread = bird's nest
I can't sew to save my life. It is beyond terrible. It is so bad, I will tell you exactly how pathetic it is.
EvieG is in ballet this year. She loves it, which is great. She is at a dance school that requires my attention to detail. I have to have her in a certain outfit, her hair has to be in a pony tail or ballet bun, and she has to wear pink leather ballet slippers.
These slippers are my nemesis.
We bought the slippers only to learn that I had to sew the elastic straps to the sides in a criss-cross. I thought to myself, Really? Can I pay someone to do it? I can barely sew the Sparks' badges onto her hot pink sash, let alone sew straps to ensure they fit right. I can't even hem pants. Or put the button in the right spot, for crying out loud!
I had one week to get it done.
It was last Saturday. The slippers were sitting on our bookshelf. I stared at them. As I settled into bed, I took out the hot pink thread that I used for Sparks and a needle. I put the thread through the needle. I attempted to stitch. The thread got caught up somewhere between the inside and the outside of the shoe and I couldn't straighten it out. There were loops everywhere. After 3 attempts, I cut the thread off and threw the slipper across the room. I had a nice pile of thread on my side table.
Three days passed. I told Hubby last Sunday that we needed to get this done and that I was going to pay someone to do it for me. He scoffed at me and told me he would do it.
I agreed and repeated that we had to have these by Wednesday.
No problem, he reassured me.
Last night the slippers still weren't sewn. Crap. I concluded I was screwed and that I would be scolded at ballet the following day by the instructor because EvieG would be without shoes.
I bucked up. I told myself, I can do this. I can. I can. I can sew the friggin' straps on these friggin' slippers.
I tucked myself into bed and pulled out my arsenal of needles, and my hot pink thread. I selected a big needle, figuring it would be easier to maneuver through the leather.
It broke. In half.
Some more thread to add to the pile.
I then picked out a teeny needle, figuring it would slide through easier. To push a needle through leather is tough work and I didn't have a thimble on me at that time. I mean, who owns a thimble? When I think of a thimble I think of Thimblina, or some fairy tale where a little fairy sits on top of a lovely silver thimble and then makes a nice house out of it where all of the little forest animals and fairies come to play, until she is swept away by the Thimble Prince who whisks her away to the bigger and better thimble palace.
I opened my side table drawer and pulled out my tiny bottle of medicated eye/ear drops to use as a makeshift thimble.
I punctured the bottle.
Again, I tore out the thread and added it to the growing pile. I moved the leaking bottle to the side table.
I tried one more time and successfully completed three stitches. I used the heel of the other shoe as my thimble.
Hubby came in. He looked at me and asked why I looked so frustrated. I showed him the slipper. He took a look at it and said, "This won't last! You only have three stitches in this!" and then he looked at it more carefully. He then asked, "Isn't this strap supposed to go across the shoe?"
I started laughing so hard I cried. I finally got one strap sewn and I sewed it to the WRONG SPOT!
I was so angry by this point that I threw the slippers across the room.
I told him he was doing it, and gave him a deadline of Wednesday afternoon.
He did one shoe last night. And in a totally different way than I did. He strategically placed the stitches on either side of the leather seam. Why didn't I think of that? He finished the other slipper this afternoon. With needle-noised pliers as his thimble. Why didn't I think of that?
The good thing that came out of all of this was that I realized A) I will never sew again unless I have a thimble, or needle-nosed pliers and B) I will never sew again. Who am I kidding? C) All of the thread I went through will make one nesting bird very happy.
I can't wait to find the nest in the bush out front lined with hot pink thread next Spring.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Hubby must have been a seamstress in his former life. EvieG loves her shoes that much more thanks to him.
PPS October Who's DDM is done. I am waiting for my web page helper to put it up for me. Keep checking back! Labels: DDM, EvieG, Hubby, Mission
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Living with Spidey
I have a house full of Spideys. Spider-Man lives all over the place. Jumping on the beds, couches, chairs, stairs, out of the van, and sometimes even off the side of the tub. EvieG loves pretending to be Spider-Man. She even staged a show starring Hubby and Spider-Man, as herself. In full costume. She has never seen a show or movie of this, so how she knows about it is beyond me. The Destroyer, on the other hand, doesn't need a costume. She jumps everywhere, just because she is The Destroyer.
 EvieG got the show ready. She had her costume and mask on. Our living room became the set. The set was made up of all the kitchen chairs lined up strategically around the room along with the couch, the PMS chair, which is a comfy chair and a half, and the trunk. These all represented the tops of skyscrapers. She dimmed the lights and changed the channel on the TV to Video to get the radiating blue light to simulate night. She made Hubby dress in all grey to signify him as the bad guy. I wasn't aware that she had such an in depth knowledge of Marvel Comics. I didn't know she even knew who The Rhino was.
She called action and they both started hopping from one chair to the next all around the room. There was no confrontation between good and evil until after the intermission. The show had a time elapse of 2 days.
Once action was called a second time, the two met face to face. On top of the Empire State building, where they fought. They had Hubby's neck ties tied around their wrists. Those were their webs that they threw at each other. There was some Kung Fu, some wrestling, some web throwing, and some falling. But good prevailed. Evil was defeated.
The lights came on and we clapped. And she bowed. We were all so proud that she planned and executed this show all by herself.
She found the Spidey costume as I was changing over closets. She wore it for Halloween 2 years ago. She has announced that she in fact wants to wear the Spidey costume again for Halloween this year. YAY! Last year she opted for her Cinderella dress that she has had for almost 4 years. I love that this kid doesn't want new costumes every year, like I did. I wanted the Princess Lea shower curtain of a plastic drape that went over me, accompanied by the plastic mask that would be dripping with my breath all around the chin and upper lip area that I couldn't breathe or see out of. The toxic, chemical laden mould would never last through the night because the cheap elastic held together by two staples would ALWAYS fall apart. And your one ear would always fall victim to the snap. And it would tingle with pain for the rest of the night.
Spark Plug is more into dancing right now. She would rather cuddle the real spiders who cling to the side of the house. But The Destroyer is another human size Spidey. Instead of jumping out of the van today, I caught her climbing onto the front passenger door and repelling down to the ground. Like a climbing wall, one hand was on the door handle, the other on the door frame, one foot on the side of the door and the other inside. She tells me she is getting out, "By a-self." Fine. Spidey.
We have moved from an obsession with Peter Pan to Spiderman. There is one commonality here. They all fly or jump far.
I can't wait for one of them to jump over the banister. Because their 'spider sense' told them to.
My spider sense tells me that I should teach them that all great superheroes learn that, "with great power comes great responsibility." All the more power to them as they make their beds, clean up their rooms, and clear the table.
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: EvieG, The Destroyer
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Unattached from the hip
Back to school today. EvieG started first grade and Spark Plug started back at her preschool. They were both super excited. All went well for them both. And for me.
To properly prepare for Grade 1, EvieG coloured her own school bag. This bag was given to her by Uncle Jeff for her birthday. It is made by Alex and came with permanent markers. She coloured in the black and white print to make it her own. And she was told several times today that it was 'cool'. My kid is cool. Complete with perfectly folded over socks.
We got out the breakfast bowls and cereal last night. She selected her outfit, put it out neatly, and then got herself up and dressed. She even brushed her hair and teeth. She could then go downstairs and help herself to her breakfast. She knows where the milk is.
With first grade comes a whole new set of responsibility. She is a big kid now. She goes to school all day, five days a week. She thinks this is great.
Back to the sock thing. She has to wear socks. Even with her Crocs. She says that she has to be careful of staples and thumb tacks. Like a sock is going to save her from a sharp object impaling itself into her heel. She pulls them up as high as they will reach and then folds each one down neatly. She makes her own version of a tube sock.
Spark Plug also picked out her outfit for school. She got up and asked for piggy tails today. She had her backpack ready to go- Barbie and the Dancing Princesses with their little poodle pups in their arms all Paris Hilton like. Great. Spark Plug is my girly-girl, hands down.
She gladly went to school today and barely said good-bye. She set off to play. This is fantastic and I am glad she left my side so willingly to play and learn. And to drive it home just how happy she was to leave me, she refused to come with me at the end of the day. That is right, folks. Spark Plug threw a rangy in the yard and then proceeded to sprint away from me to find solace in the play house. I practically dragged her by the arms kicking and screaming as her teachers told her over and over, "You can come back another day! We will see you soon!"
Both kids ran away from me and into this new school routine without a second thought. I didn't think I was that boring to be around. I was almost offended. But not quite. Two less to watch is alright by me!
Just The Destroyer and me. Oh, wait. She is like three kids in one.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: EvieG, Spark Plug
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Her many stomachs
EvieG has compartmentalized her tummy. A healthy dinner of rice noodles with fresh tomatoes, black olives, black beans in olive oil did not cut it for her. She declared herself full after a few bites.
If she did not eat my great dinner, then there would be no dessert. That is the rule.
EvieG: I'm full. I don't like those red things.
DDM: Well then I guess there will be no ice cream topped with fresh blueberries for you!
EvieG: But that part of my tummy is not full!
DDM: What part of your tummy? You say you are full!
EvieG: The dinner part of my tummy is full. My tummy has lots of differents parts that get filled. The ice cream part is still empty! It's over here. The dinner part is on this side.
DDM: Oh ya? Are there other parts? Tell me.
EvieG: Well, I have the breakfast part and the lunch part. They have been filled up today.
DDM: Interesting! Are there more parts to your stomach?
EvieG: Yep. There is the cake part and the muffin part. There is one for crackers too.
DDM: Is there one for vegetables?
EvieG: No. That one is full all the time.
It's a good thing she doesn't have to chew her cud with all those stomachs. That would be a right awful, constant cocktail of carbs. And she would get her veggies all day long. No need for a multi-vitamin!
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: EvieG
Monday, August 24, 2009
Clicking her heels three times is far easier
EvieG is on a quest for Pixie dust. She knows that this is a mandatory part of flying. This is her fuel and she needs a good sprinkling in order to take flight with her new BFFs Peter Pan and Tinkerbell.  While en route to Grandma's and Grandpa's, EvieG decided she would like to go to Neverland. And not the one in California. She wants the one on the second star to the right. She wants to confront Captain Hook and play with the Lost Boys. She wants to hang out with Peter Pan and Tinkerbell. She says she believes. And that she can think of happy thoughts in order to fly. She thinks of reindeer. Me? My happy thoughts? Besides a cold beer on a patio somewhere, I am afraid mine are not suitable for this blog at this time.
EvieG has been communicating with Peter Pan. Via letter. She left a note taped to her window for him. It read:
To Peter pan
Bring Tink hier Put Tink in a jare Love you Thank you
There is a picture of Tinkerbell locked in a jar like a firefly in a mason jar with holes punched in its metal lid. EvieG clearly does not realize the no-BS-kind-of-attitude of this wee fairy. Nothing will keep her away from Peter Pan and I am sure EvieG would have to suffer her powerful wrath if she pulled any fast ones on her. At least EvieG was kind enough to make two teeny weeny little books for her to read while in solitary confinement. How thoughtful.
Peter Pan responded on the window with the Crayola window writing markers left in the house by Auntie Vee. He wrote:
Hi EvieG!!! Thanks for the note. I will take the books back to Tink. Tink will not be back to the Mainland until the winter. She says hi.
See you soon! PP :)
EvieG was ecstatic to find this note on her window and part of the banana eaten that she had left out. She was also disappointed that Tinkerbell was not left in a jar.
All she wanted to do was use Tink for her fairy dust to fly. Is that too much to ask? Tink would be and is probably already on to her. Using her for her dust and keeping her trapped like Gargamel keeps the little Smurfs trapped so they can lead him back to to the village is undeniably strategic. Although EvieG has only good intentions in her alchemy.
EvieG being the determined child that she is, was not done with this matter. She responded to Peter Pan with another note the following night. It read:
to Peter Pen jump on my bed Be cuse i want to Go to never land i never bine there Befor. Love EvieG xoxoxoxo xoxoxoxo
She must have thought that a few jumps on her mattress might catapult her to Neverland. She obviously does not have the mattress that can support a bouncing bowling ball with full glasses of red wine on the other side.
EvieG has watched Peter Pan a few times now and last night she watched Hook with Robin Williams and Julia Roberts. She loved it. This only fueled her desires even more. She thinks she can fly if she believes.
Now what?
One last note from her dashing, young friend. It read:
Hi EvieG!
I will take you to Neverland for a great adventure in your dreams. We can play all night and you will wake up in your own bed in the morning. See you in your dreams, PP :)
When she first read it, she only saw the I will take you to Neverland for a great adventure. She was elated. I told her to read on. Her face grew longer as she pronounced each word. Trying to make her understand that he will come and they will fly together in her dreams was challenging. But she is still trying to figure out a way to fly.
She went down the stairs in a cardboard box today. I gave her points for being inventive.
We watched The Wizard of Oz. I am trying to convince her that it is far more efficient if she gets a sharp pair of sparkly, red flats and clicks the heels three times. Who needs to fly when you can get from A to B instantly?
Forget glitter. Scratch off the Pixie dust from the pre-flight checklist. Add Manolo Blahnik red flats instead.
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: EvieG
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Energy suckers
I am shattered. Tired. Exhausted. With EvieG home again this week after two fun-filled weeks at camp, she is not only testing me regularly, but is running me ragged physically and emotionally.
It is amazing to me how much kids pick up and learn from other kids. She has been behaving out of character at times and I know she is copying and repeating what she has heard and seen. It is driving me crazy. She has spent some time in her room the last couple of days and lost special privileges. She has been told to wipe the smug look off her face.
She is also starting to ask lots of questions. More so than ever before. Questions regarding death and guns. She has been around a lot of boys lately who are a couple of years older. They played some game called Mafia... which is a modern version of Duck, Duck, Goose or I Wrote a Letter to My Love... I am thinking about my responses, how to approach these subjects, what to say in and how to say it in simple terms so she will understand.
After many discussions and being outside playing all day, I am shattered. This will be the second night I am in bed by 8:30.
She is 6. She is the first. I have 2 more to go through this. Will I make it? Or will I be in bed by 6:00 by the time the other 2 Wee Ladies get to this stage?
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: EvieG
Monday, July 27, 2009
EvieG was cruising
EvieG had a wicked weekend with her cousin who is 2 years older. I dropped her off on Friday and picked her up yesterday afternoon. This was a great weekend for everyone. The Wee Ladies had some time apart and EvieG experienced what would be an adult version of a cruise ship adventure. Food of all kinds made available in a variety of situations from birthday parties to bagel shops.
There was so much goodness around her that she didn't know how or when to call it quits. She binged. Just like adults do at the all-you-can-eat-dessert-buffet. They say that it is common for people to gain an average of a pound a day on a cruise. With the change of environment, the access, the options, the temptation, I can see how it is difficult to STOP the massive, indulgent consumption. EvieG could not put a cork in it.
They went to a birthday party Friday night where there was an abundance of sweets and chips and BBQed goodies. EvieG was that kid in the candy store. Without her mother or father. And she went TO TOWN. Kool Aid Jammers, candy, cake, hot dogs, oh, and lots of Cheesies she told me. She got back to her cousin's, called in an enthusiastic state, and then went to bed. And then came the barf. Yep. I guess she got the entire household up at 3 am because she barfed all over.
Super.
It's like I never give her anything sugary and good. Uh huh. What, as soon as her mother is out of reach, she just goes hardcore? Three Kool Aids later, she thought that perhaps maybe she had had enough. She probably snuck a fourth all stealth like.
Is she going to be one of those compulsive people who can't make the madness stop? Is she showing signs of an addictive personality? Because she obviously can't figure out when to shut 'er down. I asked Hubby this question. He replied by explaining that she was enjoying her first cruise ship experience; that she was in a new place and was overwhelmed by temptation and independence. She just went crazy, like an adult would do at the buffet stations. After the 5 kinds of pasta, why would I settle for one choice when that chocolate mousse cake is sitting over at the other side of the table, beside the New York cheesecake, diagonal from the Turtle torte and down a bit from the Baileys Irish Cream cake? Oh, and I might as well sample the homemade ice cream and waffle cone on the way to the pool.
This was EvieG. A Cruiser.
She is totally aware that she over-indulged. She now knows what happens to her body when he puts too much crap into it. She did it to herself. Live and learn.
And then she eats two bites of her lunch and has the balls to ask for dessert. What will it take, I ask?
To drive it home, we told her what can happen if she were to continue making choices like she did. EvieG is petrified of needles. So we explained that a diet rich in sugar could lead to a disease called diabetes and the only way to stay healthy is to inject yourself with needles. Twice a day. Well, she didn't like the sound of that. It gave her the hee-bee-gee-bees. And then she asked where her crayons were. We decided to try it again later.
Or she will try it again later. Because with this kid, it might take a couple of tries for it to really sink in.
I just hope she doesn't end up in the hospital after her first night of drinking, only to have her stomach pumped because she didn't know when to quit. Ugh. Or maybe she will just gain a few pounds on her first real ocean cruise.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: EvieG
Monday, July 20, 2009
Turning 6 is like having my own fairy godmother
EvieG is 6. Officially. After a weekend of birthday fun, she has now reached adulthood. In her mind. She is extra responsible, eager to help, and cooperative. Even more than ever before. I wonder how long it will last?
Her birthday was on Friday. She woke up in the morning to a happy birthday sign beside her bed with string attached to it. She followed the string through the upstairs and ended up in our bedroom. At the end of the string were 5 clues. She read the clues and was sent on a wild search mission for her presents. There was one in the bathroom sink downstairs, one on the toy kitchen stove, one behind the closet door, and one under Hubby's boxer shorts. She embraced her role as detective.
The Wee Ladies and I went for an amazing hike through the forest. We stopped and had a snack on top of an enormous boulder while gazing into the freshly cut hay field. The views were spectacular.
EvieG had a great day. She got to pick out a gift using the birthday money from Uncle Paul and Aunt Nancy. We had giant, decadent chocolate cookies. We had a fun dinner and birthday cake. And yes. I made another DDM special. And I am not superstitious that I had a 6 shaped cake, with a number 6 candle, and 6 candles on it... This will not (better not) come back to haunt me.
On Saturday we had a great beach bash for her birthday party. We got together with some friends at the beach where the kids played and swam, Eve opened presents, and we had watermelon, cupcakes, and juice. They had a blast. And I didn't know until it was brought to my attention that apparently The Destroyer consumed about 6 juice boxes all to herself. No wonder she couldn't sit still when we went out for dinner afterwards. She was her own version of a super ball.
Now that the birthday is over, EvieG is big. Old. An adult. Tonight she ran upstairs to get me as I was folding laundry and demanded I come downstairs. I went with her only to find a lake on our living room and kitchen floors. She had cleaned the entire downstairs. She washed the dishes in the sink, washed off the table, and folded the blankets. She mopped the floor and then set the table for dinner. I said, "That's great! But we already had dinner!" She replied with, "Oh, right." I told her we could use the dishes for breakfast in the morning. She wasn't done there. She was about to work her way upstairs to clean the whole floor. I was informed that she is really happy to be big now that she is 6. And she is big enough to be just like Cinderella. And Annie. Like Annie told Daddy Warbucks, she is just trying to earn her keep. I gave her $3.00 for doing a bang up job and told her how proud I was that she did all that without me having to ask.
She is like my fairy godmother. She is growing up and all of a sudden making my job that much easier! Cleaning and washing and tidying? I mean how good is that? I hope that magic fairy dust doesn't get blown away too easily. And I hope the demons of the 666 cake don't come and carry my fairy godmother away.
I'll have puberty to thank for that. When she really thinks she's big and knows everything.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: EvieG
Monday, June 22, 2009
Camping in Real Life
At the request of some, I am writing the follow up to EvieG's camping trip. Click here to read about how she graduated Kindergarten and left for two nights away on her own all in one day. She had a great time, but it wasn't without incident.
EvieG left on Friday evening for a weekend away with the Girl Guides. They slept in a bunkhouse, shared in cleaning duties, sang songs, and did lots of crafts. It was a true camping experience in a team environment. She wants to do it again.
They split them into groups. They were in the same group all weekend. They stayed together and even sat next to each other at the table. Each group was looked after by one adult leader.
There was a girl in EvieG's group who has behavioural issues. I did not know this until we picked her up on Sunday. While EvieG was trying to enjoy her first ever camp experience, she was bullied by this girl on more than one occasion. She was pushed a few times; into the bushes and onto the ground. She was choked by this girl. Twice. Once was hard, but the second time she said she had a hard time breathing. Her spot at the table was next to this girl. Not only was she repeatedly bullied, but she was made to sit with her during meals. This girl was given a time-out for 'about a half hour' as discipline.
When we got out of the van at the camp, a little girl came running to me and squealed, "Ask EvieG about getting choked!" I thought, What? What kind of camping trip was this? I asked one of the leaders to fill me in on what this little girl was referring to. She told me that indeed EvieG was choked and that this girl was disciplined. She also told me that she had been a problem all year; that there was a discussion among the leaders whether or not to even let this child participate in the trip. And EvieG was in the wrong place at the wrong time?
We are in the process of following up with the leaders.
1. Why was the child allowed to attend when she has a history of behavioural problems? 2. Why was she not sent home after she was violent with EvieG the first time? 3. Why were they not split up and put into different groups?
I fear for EvieG's safety. I am upset that this could have soured EvieG's perception of camping. I am disappointed that there was a lack of firm action taken with this child, who was obviously a threat to other kids. I am disappointed that there was a discussion about this child prior to the trip and the decision was to let her participate. I am upset that it takes one child to ruin it for someone else.
I think EvieG will want to participate again next year. But only if this child is not going to be a part of it. If she is, then I will keep EvieG home. She enjoyed the time away and said she didn't want to come home. She wanted to stay. I am happy she can cope and move on. Good for her.
It made me very uneasy and all I can do is follow up and express my concern to those in charge. Because if the safety of a child is put at risk by another child, well then, to me it is an easy decision.
Keep the problem child away.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Battle, EvieG
Friday, June 12, 2009
EvieG graduates and leaves me all in one day
This has been a truly momentous day for EvieG. This means me too, only mine was more emotional. EvieG had her Kindergarten Graduation this afternoon. And then add to it shipping her off on a bus for 2 days tonight. This makes for one anxious DDM. It's like she went out and got all big girl on me in a day. Her Kindergarten ceremony was the cutest. She was up on stage in her pretty dress, stockings, and tattered running shoes (her 'indoor' shoes). She has a graduation cap made from black Bristol board. I felt like this was her big grad, her big, shining moment where next would come interviews and internships. But no. This is only the first academic milestone that put my heart into a state of elation, happiness, pride, and anxiety all at the same time. She sang songs, recited a poem, and she received her diploma. And I was the sap in the back welling; trying my hardest not to burst into fits of tears. I was relieved when they darkened the room for the slide show so I could wipe my eyes. They celebrated with cupcakes. I refrained since I am all detox and stuff. But I did start salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs when I passed the cake-mix-goodness with sparkles. We made a big deal about this and even took her out for dinner. She wasn't hungry. I guess it was Betty Crocker's fault. We went home and got her all set for her camping trip. She is going with her Girl Guide group an hour away and is going to sleep in her sleeping bag in a bunkhouse. She is ecstatic about this adventure. Me, I am torn. I am happy she wanted to be a part of this trip. She begged me over and over to let her go. I kept saying that I would talk to Hubby. We decided to ask some other parents of the wee girls and it seemed that many of them were sending their girls. So we decided to support this confidence and independence. We let her go. For the whole 2 nights. We drive to pick her up on Sunday. We packed together yesterday. We used our Royal Blue Coleman cooler to pack all her stuff in. It has an easy, flip up lid, and can be pulled on its wheels. Very convenient. Ten bucks says someone's going to say, "Oh goodie! Who remembered the case of OV?" The cooler minus the cold ones didn't fit her pillow or waterproof seat, so we tied those to the cooler with bungee cords. Awesome. I sat with her, organized everything, labeled with permanent marker, and packed it all up. We went over the rules about camp several times. All the while, my heart was flitting with anxiety. And then she left. We signed her in, put her on the bus, and blew our thousand kisses. She was so excited she barely said good-bye. In fact, she kind of dissed Hubby. She gave him a quick hug, only because I told her too and said, "Bye, Daddy!" She gave me a bit more than that but she was really ready to go. I was emotional again, welling, and the whole bit, and even had a bit of a cry after they pulled out of the parking lot. If we had said no to this excursion, she would have been heartbroken. So here I am as I write this missing my EvieG enormously as she is settling into her first real away experience. She is strong and independent. We would never want to squash that. We want to nurture that in her. I am just worried for her as she goes on her own. This whole parenthood thing really tests our emotional strength. As I was bringing The Destroyer and Spark Plug upstairs for their bath, I thought Man! This is only the first child! We have 2 more to go though all of this with! They are going to do me in! It's worse than a made-for-TV-movie!This is the first academic achievement and trip away from home for EvieG. All in one day. She really is growing quickly and with that I am trying hard to cherish her time as a little girl because before we know it, she will be tossing her graduation cap into the air in her gown and then be gone. All's I'm sayin's all. PS Click here to enter to win an newly released Dora DVD! Labels: EvieG
Monday, June 1, 2009
Should I dare ask about a level 5 camping trip?
We went to Florida tonight. What a great trip it was to the backyard! We didn't actually leave the house, but talked a lot about it! I am glad EvieG and Spark Plug enjoyed the process of planning, packing, and finding their passports.
EvieG announced that she and Spark Plug were off to the van and then to the airport with the intention of landing in Florida where they would walk to Grandma's Florida house. This then changed to Grandma picking them up at the airport because they didn't want to get lost, or carry their luggage very far.
The bags contained their stuffed animals, books, a toy microphone because you never know when they might get a gig, one toothbrush, a hairbrush, and the handle to the Swiffer 360. Good thing they remembered that because you never know when you might have to clean all around you, or who you might sit next to on the plane. I always thought something like this would be useful if you needed to swat the person next to you.
We went to our travel folder in the filing cabinet and retrieved our passports from 2006. Spark Plug was born in 2006. She was only a few months old in her photo. Her passport is up for renewal this year which is a good thing because if we had to travel anywhere right now, they probably wouldn't let her through security. The picture bears no resemblance to her whatsoever and I would likely be detained, we would miss our flight, and then I would have to deal with the over-exhaustion of the Wee Ladies in an airport and on a plane. All I would want is a box of Timbits for them but instead I would probably be questioned about the legitimacy of my daughter, to which I would tell them all about how I gained 60 lbs, had her, lost it when I got pregnant again, probably around the same time her passport picture was taken, and then tossed out a third kid a few months after that. They would see that the only other traveling I have done is going over the border to Detroit to buy Cookie Crisp cereal at Target. I wouldn't have to have a mug shot taken. They could just use my passport photo.
I asked if I was going too. EvieG told me that they had to get to the airport somehow; that she didn't know how to drive the van. I was in my robe! I hadn't packed yet! And then the trip to Florida morphed into a camping trip out in the backyard after EvieG confessed in my ear that she was 'just pretending'. I was still sitting and staring at the passport pictures during this confession. I was just about to go upstairs and pull out my home-waxing kit before throwing my flip flops and bathing suit in a bag.
She and Spark Plug proceeded to lug out 2 kitchen table chairs, a quilt, the electric vacuum for the 'quick' jobs, a rock to keep the vacuum upright, and one of Hubby's hiking boots, to set the camping mood. They worked well together as the attempted to assemble their tent. They were adamant that they were going to sleep outside. I asked, "How will you stay dry? It's going to rain tonight." EvieG replied by getting the dry cleaning plastic from over a sweater I picked up today. She had her fly ready to go. She even put sticky tape over the hole where the hanger stuck out. MENSA.
It is about 8 degrees Celsius right now and she did this whole assembly in nothing but her underwear. She didn't even notice the goose bumps rising all over her little body. Spark Plug was out there in her polyester Dora nightie and pink floral socks. Tough Cookies.
We finally pulled the chute on them. We had to break the news gently. The trip was over. The camping trip was done. The tent was not quite there, but almost. There is time to work on it tomorrow. EvieG was so disappointed. She said, "But Mom, this is a level 2 camping trip!"
I said, "A what?"
"A level 2 camping trip!" she retorted. "A level 1 is the tent in the living room. A level 2 is in the backyard! And a level 3 is in the front yard! I have only ever done a level 1!"
Confused, I then demanded clarification. "Well then, what is a level 4?"
Looking at me like I am the dumbest person in the world, she matter-of-factly responded with, "That's in my room."
Wow. That would be a huge challenge, a level 4. I don't know if she could survive that high demanding, uncomfortable, test-you-to-your-core-in-the-wilderness-tactical camping trip, or anyone else for that matter. It just might be unbearable. She might not come out alive. Never mind the skunks and coyotes. The monster in the closet might come and get her. It might be worse than Survivor.
MENSA.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Speaking of travel, click here to check out my column at Scarlett Lounge!
PPS I had fun doing the GAWK 'n TOO but it took me the rest of the weekend to recover. I am out of practice.
Labels: EvieG, Family, Spark Plug
Monday, May 25, 2009
The teddy bear is always crashing the party
EvieG should be in event planning. She covers all of the details and misses nothing when planning her weddings, birthday parties, and tea parties. I should get her one of those headsets to wear so she remembers to cue Pachelbel's Canon. She invited me to another one of her smashing events. She prepared and set up a mom/daughter tea party outside. While I was trying to win the laundry battle by getting myself up to being only 2 baskets behind, EvieG was organizing and taking several trips outside to a shady spot under the tree out front. Here is what she prepared for us:  We have the blanket from the couch, along with the cushions. She carried out the fruit bowl because we know that no tea party is complete without the bananas. She remembered the teddy bear whose sole role in life is to sit around in various corners of the house and who is continually neglected and ignored, but who ALWAYS shows up for the events begging for food and drinks. He was leaned against the tree where he continued to act as an annoying solicitor. I should put him outside the front door with a sign on the front of him that reads, No Flyers Please and Stop Staring at Me! Either Move On or Are You Done With That? She even had the music portion of the party covered by bringing out the guitar. This instrument is usually used for standing on or acts as a pretend bridge as the Wee Ladies slide themselves down the neck as if they were carefully walking along the edge of a cliff. We made up songs all campfire like and considering the guitar has never been tuned, nor do I know how to do that, I'm surprised the coyotes didn't jump out of the woods covering their ears and yelping at us and then running away with their tails between their legs. We have the blue cups full of ice water and lemon, at the request of the hostess, EvieG. Details, details. I'm almost disappointed that she forgot the edible pansies and mint. The white stuff in the fruit bowl? The evidence of the ice cream sandwiches. I went inside when she wasn't looking and polished off the remaining sandwich. She was so proud that she got this whole thing set up for us. I was proud too. We had good chats, cuddles, and lay side by side on the blanket staring up into the leaves above. We were bonding. Our view through the eyes of EvieG:  She's a photographer too. It is times like these that make me happiest. And it is times like these that we will remember forever. I am so glad that I am able to share these days with her. It makes any other stresses in life seem so trivial. I think I will take the guitar to the music store in town and get it tuned. Because I suspect next time, EvieG will start belting out Bob Dylan tunes. And then she will pull the Smores out from behind her. Followed by a five course meal. And a string quartet to serenade us. She will clap her hands twice and either she will be sporting a new princess gown, or all of the lights will go off. And the soliciting teddy bear will suddenly come to life and eat all of my ice cream sandwiches and belch in my face. All's I'm sayin's all. PS Click here to enter the Huggies Pure and Natural diapers giveaway! PPS Click here to check out my new reviews! Labels: EvieG
Monday, May 11, 2009
Read it and weep
EvieG, The Destroyer, and I spent the weekend at my Mom's. Hubby and Spark Plug stayed with his parents who live a half hour away. We all had a grand time, especially EvieG. She discovered Grandma's basement and all of the classic contents within. We did not come home empty-handed. She could have stayed down there all day exploring. One day she will, when she is old enough to be trusted not to get into Grandpa's fix-it chemicals and stuff, or get into the pickled beets from the mid-90's. She played on fitness equipment; the old exercise bike from the mid-70's, the non-motorized-fall-down-from-a-coronary-treadmill from the early 80's, and I think she even found evidence of the old silver Christmas tree from the 60's. We have every decade covered down in the basement.    We found a box of old books that I read as a kid. We came upon our collection of Dr. Suess and P.D. Eastman books, among other titles, but these were the books that my Mom bought us through Time Life or something. She bought the set and got the free Cat in the Hat book ends to go with it.  When my younger brother was about 8 or 9, he ran his own personal library. I had to take our family books out of his library to read. Each book still has its own homemade library sign-out card in the front cover. He was telling me on the weekend that I owe him thousands in late fees. Plus interest. I told him that he still owed me from his chocolate pudding with whipped cream tab that he racked up at the restaurant I had set up among the couch cushions. We brought a box of books home for EvieG to tackle. And tackle she did. Tonight she ploughed through 64 pages of the classic, Go, Dog. Go! by P.D. Eastman from 1961. All.By.Herself. She loved it. I giggled my way though it as I reintroduced myself to the lovely pink poodle who vied for the hound's attention with her many smashing hats. Finally, at the end, during the dog party, did he notice the statement on her head. They ended up going home together. I'm sure it was the booze talking. Happy endings.  EvieG loved this book and she was so proud of herself for getting through such a long book independently. It was an easy level for her, but the confidence increased by 10 fold. She also read through 64 pages of 1963's Hop on Pop, by Dr. Suess, which she thought was totally easy, but great nonetheless.  This was an exciting feat for EvieG tonight. I told her about how I used to to take these books into my room and practice reading them over and over. I told her that this is how I learned to read. She thought that was something else and I suspect she will be doing the same thing soon as she dives further into our gently used collection of classics. I will have to remind her that Uncle Paul requires her to sign them out first- date and name in full. She will be the first one to sign one of these books out since August, 1986. She is going through a phase right now where she is becoming extremely interested in how I grew up and how we all fit together as a family. She is also becoming more emotional and nostalgic, which is neat to watch. We were watching Wall-E last night, for the 104th time. It got to the part where Eve and Wall-E were holding hands. She looked up at me with big, misty eyes and said, "I think I just might cry." I asked, "Why, Honey?" She replied, "Because I really like happy endings, Mom." I wonder if she will well up while reading, Are You My Mother? By P.D. Eastman. Or once she reads Go, Dog. Go! again, will she realize the dogs lived happily ever after. At least they do for a night. All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: EvieG
Monday, May 4, 2009
Preparing me for the big question
Our family likes to discuss things in the van. When we drive we are contained with no where to run. We ask questions, come up with ideas, talk, and occasionally break into song. We have our most serious talks while on the road. When the Wee Ladies are wondering, they can wonder out loud in the van knowing they will be answered. There is no 'hang on a minute' in the van. So it seems appropriate that they ask the heavy questions in the van. I have no where to hide. I have to answer. And so I did.
On Friday as we were cruising along, EvieG decided to fire the questions at me like I was in the middle of a smelly, adolescent filled gym class playing dodge ball; sweaty intermediate kids running at and around me, pelting me with a big, red rubber ball that stank like hot glue. Only in the van my newly coloured brown hair with caramel highlights was being stared at with 6 blue eyes as they awaited my response. 2 of those eyes were begging for a snack and nothing more.
EvieG: Mom, when can I drive a car?
DDM: When you are 16 years old. Right now you are only 5. First you have to be 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, and then 16. That is when you can drive. And it will be a while yet, right? That is a lot of numbers to still go through.
EvieG: But Mom, why do I have to wait until I am 16?
DDM: Because that is the law. That is the rule. You don't have to be 16. You can wait even longer if you want.
EvieG: Mom, I can't wait to drive and then be a mommy too. I am going to have my own babies. I am going to have a boy and a girl. I am going to name them Max and Megan. Then you can be a grandma, like Grandma and Goo Goog!
(I thought she was going to say Max and Ruby and then I would have, for a fleeting moment, thought we watch too much TV)
DDM: That's nice, but I am not ready to be a grandma and you have a lot of time until that stuff happens. I think I want to work on being a mom for a while first. And why don't you just enjoy being a kid for a while? Being a kid is so fun. You can play all day, sleep whenever you want, and go to school. There is so much to do! Being your mom is lots of fun, but it is busy. When you are a kid, you don't have to worry about laundry, making meals, cleaning dishes, and making sure everyone is looked after! I have a lot more things to think about. Like paying bills. You don't have to worry about that stuff yet. So just enjoy being as kid so I can enjoy being your mom. Sound good?
EvieG: Ok. (long pause) Mom, how does a baby come out?
DDM: Stare at road in front, flashbacks of pain, the crowning, and screaming, mind swirling, take a sip of coffee, think how the heck do I respond? What? What? What did she just ask? Well..... hmmmm. How do you think a baby comes out?
EvieG: I don't know!
DDM: Do I? Don't I? Do I say? Medical version? Too young. Description? Make it simple. Really tell? Nope. LIIIIIEEEEE. I lie about all of the holiday characters. I can lie about this too. I WILL NOT feel guilty. LIE!!!
Well, hmmmmm... you know how we have a belly button on our tummy?
EvieG: You press it! And the baby comes out?
DDM: Ok, sure! POP! (laughter erupts) How about some lunch?
I just easily bought myself 3 more years with that one. And yes, I am already thinking about how I will respond to, "Mom, how does a baby get in to your tummy?"
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: DDM, EvieG
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Our first contribution to the tooth castle in the sky
Kind of like Care-A-Lot up in the sky, we think that the tooth fairy lives in a tooth castle, surrounded by all things teeth, somewhere in the white, fluffy clouds above. Yesterday EvieG lost her first tooth. She claims she was unaware that it was loose. Maybe so. But for me, this is another milestone for us.
EvieG was supposedly upstairs playing horsey with Spark Plug. As she was biting her coat, just like horses do, out popped one of her center bottom teeth. She came down the stairs and announced, "Look, Mom! My tooth! I lost my tooth!"
At first, I was like, what the heck is she talking about? Lost a tooth? I don't remember experiencing any tooth drama. I couldn't recall any wiggling and wobbling and tugging. I couldn't remember any discussion about loose teeth. How is this possible?
Sure enough, she gave me this wee piece of bone. I ordered, "Open your mouth... show me the spot!" She opened her mouth and I saw the bloody spot where her tooth formerly sat.
How did this happen? How did she just lose a tooth? So easily? Was it rotten? I searched for black marks. Was it broken off? Did we have to go into the dentist for an emergency check up to make sure she was going to have to get a set of dentures by the age of 6?
I called the dentist.
"Oh, hi. My 5 year old just lost a tooth and it wasn't loose. Is this normal?"
The receptionist asked me if I had the tooth because apparently kids can swallow them and never know.... she asked me to tell her what it looked like.
"It is pointy on one side and then jagged on the other. I don't see any cavities, not that I would know what one even looked like. To me, cavities are silver. I am just hoping that her teeth are not just going to start falling out randomly or that they are super-soft and going to fall out every time she plays horsey with her sister."
The receptionist told me that this is the age where the teeth start falling out. She said it sounded normal based on my description. She instructed me to wiggle the one beside it because often they fall out around the same time. But it could also be several months.
This didn't conclude anything for me. EvieG still had a tooth out and for what reason, other than her age, I did not know.
I figured that this is normal and she has just lost her first tooth. I think my reaction was one of shock because I was not prepared for my first baby to lose her teeth yet. The tooth fairy with the pocket on the front that we were going to use to put under the pillow is packed away in storage somewhere. I am not ready.
For her sake, I made a big deal about it. We celebrated and did a little jig. This is a momentous occasion and we treated it as such. I even made chocolate pudding for dessert, especially for the girl who has an open space in her mouth. We were all very excited. I took pictures and we discussed the next steps.
EvieG hid it under her pillow at bed time. We talked about the tooth fairy and her job. I asked EvieG what she thought about the tooth fairy buying her teeth off of her. I asked her what she thought the tooth fairy did with all of those teeth. We decided that she uses them to build and make art.
Following this conversation, we had to decide how much a tooth worth these days. When we were kids, we got a quarter for them. We put the money in our piggy bank. I spoke with Uncle Jeff about it. I thought it would be reasonable to give a dollar for the small ones and two dollars for the front teeth and molars. He asked what a kid can actually buy with a dollar. I said not much if you include tax. He thought two dollars could at least give them a fun buying experience. So that is what happened last night when the tooth fairy came. She took the tooth in a zip-loc bag because the nice tooth fairy tooth holder is in the depths of the crawl space and left a toonie under EvieG's pillow.
It is these moments that I realize my Wee Ladies are growing so quickly. I can't believe we have lost teeth already. I felt lots of emotions with this whole situation, from sadness to happiness. She is so proud and excited that she will get a grown-up tooth in its place.
As she came down the stairs announcing her lost tooth and holding it up with a look of pride and maturity, I had a flash forward. We will be moving quickly to the loss of more teeth and as I hear from older moms who wish they still had wee ones around, the time flies by. This I have come to realize and EvieG has only just lost one tooth. It doesn't matter. It is still going by faster than I ever thought it would. I thought to myself as we celebrated this occasion- the next thing I know, she will be coming down the stairs in her grade 8 graduation dress. Or telling me that she has her first period. I know I will never be ready for that and like this experience, I am sure it will hit me like a tonne of bricks.
And so then our consumption of soft paper products will expand to feminine products.
I am never going to be prepared for these things to happen.
All's I'm sayin's all.
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Labels: EvieG
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
She cut her own hair
EvieG came upstairs last night looking a little different. At first I couldn't figure out what it was. And then it hit me. She did it. She is that kid! She cut her own hair.
I think I did it to myself at one point. Doesn't every kid? Uncle Jeff cut my baby dolly's hair when I was about 4. He convinced me that it would grow back. I still have her and it still hasn't grown back.
I had two kids in my grade 1/2 split class who cut their hair during art class. As I moved around the class, I noticed a clump of fine hair on the floor. I looked at them, my mouth hanging open as I saw a couple of chunks taken from their bang area. They sat beaming at me, sticking their tongues out at me through their missing front teeth. Another call to the parents.
And so now it is EvieG's turn. She wasn't playing hairdresser or house. And she just had a haircut last week. She had a nice cut too, with enough taken off the front.
She came into the bedroom and I asked, "What did you do to your hair? Did you cut your hair?" She replied, "Yes." Baffled, I then asked, "Why did you do that? You just took a huge chunk out of the front of your head! And now it looks funny! Go! Look for yourself!" She went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She was really expressionless. Nothing. No excitement that she thought it looked grand, and no real worry that it looked terrible either.
Her reasoning? She didn't want it in her eyes. BUT SHE JUST HAD A HAIRCUT! There was no hair in her eyes! At all! If she had done this before her cut, I would have genuinely understood and felt like total crap that I had neglected to get my kid's hair cut; that I had driven her to the point of where she had to take matters into her own hands. But this wasn't the case! We paid money to get this taken care of!
Here are the things that were going through my head:
- We are trying so hard to grow her hair out, now it will take that much longer. - The teacher is going to think I am a moron. - She looks like I am improperly supervising her. Well, maybe I was. Apparently I was. Now I have been caught. There is proof on the front of my kid's head. - Where is the mess of cut hair? Where will I have to clean up yet another mess? In the living room? The bathroom? All over the floor? In the toilet? Would she be that neat and tidy? If I had been properly supervising her, we wouldn't be in this predicament.
- I wondered why things got so quiet.
And so she went to school today with a chunk out of her bangs. I tried to hide it as best I could, but to no avail. I along with EvieG would be the talk of the teaching staff.
After we discussed it, she said without any real concern, "Don't worry, Mom. It will grow back."
That's what she has learned from me. After I shave my under arms and lower legs, I always say to Hubby, "There, isn't that nice? Feel how smooth it is. And don't worry! It will grow back all nice and long. Just for you!"
It's all my fault.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Two posts today! Check out the giveaway below! Enter to win! Labels: EvieG
Monday, March 30, 2009
Watch it! She's gonna blow!
It's amazing how some days my fuse can be shorter than others. This morning my fuse was short and I let it blow. The Wee Ladies were getting under my skin. By the end of the day, I am fine, although tired as my nerves are have reached their maximum capacity.
For some reason getting them ready and out the door seemed like it took forever. EvieG was running around, The Destroyer ran away from me whenever possible, and Spark Plug threw hissy fits when I tried to get her dressed which resulted in her banging her head on my jaw and then I bit my tongue. I was pissed.
I got seriously agitated and used my mommy voice to get them all standing in line side by side, arms tightly hugging their torsos and feet together. It didn't take on for them to figure out that I meant business. There would be no more dilly-dallying.
I always feel guilty for getting all drill sergeant on them, but sometimes I have to when I need to get stuff done. Guilt aside, it does feel good knowing that they understand that it probably is not a good idea to mess with mom when her fuse gets short. And so they listened, followed directions, and we were then able to efficiently accomplish the morning tasks.
Bed time is another time when my fuse can get short, although I am learning to let it slide. The Destroyer and Spark Plug insist on playing and messing around in their room until, well, until they fall down. I can put them back into their beds 80 million times but they still play. Blankets all over, stuffed animals thrown about. The Destroyer opens the door and peeks her eye through the crack. I hear her sucking on her soother. I did get annoyed that they were not going to bed and that they were disturbing everyone in the house, but on the other hand, I figure, at least they are playing together well. It means that our night is that much shorter.
It is hard to keep my cool some days, especially when I am hormonal. I find that those days my tolerance level is not close to zero. I have to keep telling myself to take it easy, breathe, and that they are only wee.
I have let my fuse get to its end. Some days I can only take so much before I feel fried. As much as I feel badly about it, I get over it pretty easily. We're moms. We don't have time to dwell.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Battle, EvieG, Guilt, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Fat Traps, Part 2
Back in October, I wrote about the fat traps that were killing me. I thought the chocolate mint Girl Guide cookies were bad. I have found out otherwise. It is not the Fall cookies that are harmful to my well being, but instead the Spring lot. The vanilla and chocolate cream filled fat traps. I have 2 cases sitting in our house. 2 Cases minus 2 boxes, thanks to yours truly and we have only had them for a day.  Never mind Philly cream cheeses, these things are a little piece of heaven. And they are addictive. Last time we only had one case of the mint cookies to sell. This time I thought, Well, hey, these ones are waaayy more popular than the mint cookies, so I need to have 2 cases for EvieG to sell. Secretly, you know I was thinking that I needed to have more boxes hanging around to get into myself. Blah. Shame on me. Here's the breakdown per 2 cookies:  -140 calories -6g of fat -0g cholesterol (thank the heavens above) -21g of carbs, 10g of which is sugar and 0g of fibre - 1g protein -4% iron for my anemic friends Today I have already received 12% of my daily iron intake. After tonight's meat lasagna, I will feel like I accomplished something today. Here's the thing with these fat traps- you get 20 cookies per box. 10 vanilla and 10 chocolate. The box is evenly split. If you have one chocolate cookie and no vanilla, it completely throws the dynamics of the cookie ratio out of whack. You must eat the vanilla cookie with the chocolate one to keep the box balanced. Even. By not maintaining equal representation of vanilla to chocolate, you do not sit well until all is 50/50. And so you eat. And eat. Before you know it, you have hit half of your daily caloric intake and it doesn't even technically count as a real meal. But I make it into one. Today I had a good lunch of 6 Girl Guide cookies. I did this to myself. Call it self-loathing, I don't know. I KNEW I would get into them even though I tried to hide the cases in the laundry room. And the other thing about this? The other thing is that we don't know as many people here as we did in our other town. There, it was easier to sell the ONE case of mint cookies off. Now I have 2 cases (to be clear, that's 24 boxes of cookies) sitting in the small space. The laundry room is just an extension of the kitchen. I might as well have them beside my bed. Crap. I had every intention of having EvieG sell some yesterday to my family who came to visit. But then we forgot and after I closed the door I realized that I still had unsold cookies sitting there. At $4 a box, I am in debt $8 already. I say that by the end of it all, I will probably be financially responsible for one case at $48. Fifty bucks on fat traps when I could have bought something worthwhile. Hey, at least I am supporting the "programming and activities for girls across Canada." As I sit and get fat off their cookies, I can contribute to the well rounded healthy experience and opportunity a girl can get with the Girl Guides of Canada. Is that irony? All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: DDM, EvieG, Responsibility
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
To pull over or not?
A car trip would not be complete without a juice cup or favourite stuffed animal or soother falling from a child's hands onto the floor at the side of their seat. When this happens, a mom is met with, "My juice! My juice!", or "Doggy! Doggy!", or "Soo soo! Soo Soo!" The question them becomes, Should I pull over to get the toy? The other question is, Should I try and reach my arm back to retrieve the fallen object?I have had this happen countless times. And to answer the questions, I have done both. I have had to pull off the road to return a lost Doggy to The Destroyer on a few occasions. Her soother too. This is generally not safe, especially when whizzing down a major 400 highway and then you have to find the nearest exit, glide down the off ramp and pull over onto the gravel shoulder. It is in times of bad weather, like freezing rain, that this become extremely problematic. But it is a risk we take. We have to weigh our options carefully. Deciding whether or not the retrieval is worth it. There are many variables to consider when problem solving in a situation like this. How much longer will you be on the road? Did the kid(s) nap? Are they about to? Do they need the object to fall asleep? Will the retrieval allow for some quiet time so you can concentrate on the road and traffic without spending the next two hours listening to a screaming child in Dolby Stereo? Where is the next service station? How long can you go before completely losing your mind?The other set of questions to consider when deciding what your next move will be are: Where did the object fall and land? Is it still in the seat itself, just out of reach? Can I reach back and get it? Without driving off the road? I have done this too. This also is generally unsafe. So either way we are in a risky situation after a favourite object has dropped. I have secured my one foot on the accelerator; left hand firmly on the steering wheel. I have straightened my legs and right arm and reached back to the car seat, felt around, found the soother, and stuck it back in her mouth, all while watching the road. Anyone who says moms are not the QUEENS of multi-tasking are lying. Peace. For another five minutes. Until the Wee Lady has decided to turn the dropping-the-security-Doggy into a big game. Repeated dropping. On purpose. I hate this game. Crap. Now what? I can't keep reaching back and I can't keep pulling over, otherwise a) we might crash and die, or b) we will be 5 hours behind schedule. The solution? Crabby mom! TheD: Doggy! Doggy! Spark Plug: My juice! My juice! Cup! Cup! Waaahhhhh! EvieG: Mom, I dropped my crayons and I can't colour now! DDM: Well guess what, sweethearts! Tough! That's right! You will have to wait until we pull over at the next stop! I am trying to drive and you are just going to have to sit there and look out the window! You understand me? Wee Ladies: Yeeeees. A risk indeed. We have to wait to see how it will all play out in these situations and then reassess. Or just keep a cooler of snacks or box of Timbits beside you in the front and toss back a few to shut them up. Wait. Who am I kidding? I can't even leave the parking lot of Tim Horton's without pulling over. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes to keep your self intact. It's all about your survival. All's I'm sayin's all. PS March Who's DDM? is up! Head on over to check it out! Labels: Battle, DDM, EvieG, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Monday, March 2, 2009
Days in
It has been a long, cold winter and it sometimes makes the days painful when you can't get the kids outside for any period of time. EvieG has become stir crazy on days she is home and it is really cold. So she has taken to our closet in our bedroom and made it into her fortress.
She and Spark Plug played up there for a while on and off over the weekend. They had it blockaded off to prevent intruders. They had belts and Hubby's ties stretching from one side to the other. She set up beds in our underwear and socks baskets; complete with pillows and blankets. They were even kind enough to let The Destroyer in for a second, but quickly dismissed her, fearing the fort would be ruined.
I love watching imaginative play and I love that they are playing together more and more. Sometimes they close the door and play nicely in their room. And when I open the door to check on them, they shout, "No, Mommy!" and slam the door in my face. Nenny with Twins just experienced the shut out for the first time recently. They want their privacy already. What is going to happen when they are teenagers? Am I going to have to text them to come for dinner? Heaven forbid I knock politely and peek my head in. I will make sure that if there are any boys over, that the door stays open and we apply the two-feet-on-the-floor-at-all-times-rule.
It is not fun though when they start getting stir crazy and they get all silly. It is like they have been stuck in a cage for a month and are begging to be freed. They begin to cackle, their eyes get big, and they jump from room to room declaring that they are frogs jumping from lily pad to lily pad. And they start singing songs to get each other giggling and know that if they use any words like stinky and bum, that they are guaranteed to get a reaction from their sisters who are rolling around on the floor and their mother who is wagging her finger in their face.
Today the temperature is still bitterly cold. Too cold to be out for more than 5 minutes, especially when The Destroyer is inevitably going to remove her hat and mitts to stomp around. I am always finding a trail in her wake. I don't think I will ever be able to lose sight of her.
We went to our local Early Years Centre this morning and the Wee Ladies played and romped around for an hour and a half. It was perfect. They could unleash some energy and I had the chance to hang out with other moms. It's nice to have a place like this available for us. It is a great way for socializing. I know that I get stir crazy too sometimes and I always feel guilty the days where we stay inside all day.
As I was cleaning up the fortress I noticed that I am going to have to get the vacuum in there. They decided to serve some appetizers. I see the left over bread stick crumbs.
I just hope I don't find the tub of hummus in my underwear basket.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Congrats to Lisa M, Cheryl W, Stephanie H, Mary T, and Candace P for winning the 5 Green-School totes! I hope you love it!
PPS This month's Who's DDM? will be up and running ASAP. Keep checking back!
Labels: EvieG, Guilt, Nenny with Twins, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Friday, February 27, 2009
She's so full of it
For breakfast EvieG had a lovely bowl of organic oatmeal sweetened with honey in front of her this morning. So healthy. So unappealing for a five year old.
EvieG: I'm full, mom.
DDM: But you hardly touched your oatmeal! You need to fill your tummy for school. Plus, you know oatmeal helps you go to the bathroom.
EvieG: But I'm just full mom! I'm not hungry!
DDM: I thought you liked oatmeal! I didn't even put any raisins in it today!
EvieG: Well, I'm full because I had a Popsicle at school yesterday.
Right. She is full of s*#t. On every front.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Happy birthday, Nenny with Twins! I love you!
PPS Have a fun weekend! Don't forget that you have until Sunday to enter your name to win one of five Green-School totes! Enter to win! Send me your email and name! Labels: DDM, EvieG
Friday, February 20, 2009
Coffee fumes
Spark Plug: What's that smell? EvieG: Mom, what is that smell? DDM: It's that truck in front of us. It is the exhaust that smells. It is yucky isn't it? EvieG: It still smells. Is it that cement truck beside us? DDM: No, that is the same smell from the truck that just turned a second ago. After driving through for a coffee: EvieG: I smell that truck at the light! Spark Plug: No. That's mommy's coffee. EvieG: Oh. All's I'm sayin's all. PS Have a great weekend! Thanks for reading and I will be back on Monday. Labels: DDM, EvieG, Spark Plug
Friday, February 13, 2009
I can't hear it, please.
We used to have a CD player in the van that held and shuffled 4 CDs. Now we only have one working CD compartment. The other 3 have been jammed with coffee change, thanks to The Destroyer. I always said that I would only play age-appropriate music for the Wee Ladies. I find that I am slowly moving away from this and have gradually been introducing them to radio and music genres of all kinds.
To clarify, The Destroyer would climb all over the front seats at our old house while Hubby was putzing around in the front yard, or in the garage. With the keys out of the ignition, she would eject CDs, honk the horn so many times that the neighbours would give Hubby the stink-eye through the curtains, and apparently successfully jammed the CD and cassette players with coffee money.
I realized what had happened when I tried to reload new CDs, only to get a grinding noise, followed by the Loading Error across the screen.
What do we listen to then? We listen to The Sound of Music soundtrack on repeat, and frankly, I am getting irritated hearing Liesl admit how naive she is when it comes to the world of men. And her boyfriend Rolf telling her that she needs an older man to depend on. EvieG is in love with this musical. They all sing along. EvieG knows most of the lyrics, to all of the songs, Spark Plug sings some of them and totally out of tune. The Destroyer sings Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on repeat because that is all she knows. She has attempted Do-Re-Mi.
Because our children's CD collection is getting old and scratched and the player is destroyed, I have moved towards the radio a little bit more. In the past few weeks the Wee Ladies have experienced the variety of sounds our local radio station has to offer. Everything from classic rock to new Beyonce. They have pretty much been Journeyed to death, know that Dude looks like a lady, that Britney's boyfriend is a womanizer, Lady Gaga gambles, and if he liked it, he should have put a ring on it. I told them more than words is all they ever need to make it real. I keep telling them love is a battlefield.
But today- today they heard and raised the roof to one of my personal favourites: Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order. Oh yes, they did. It was a proud moment for me. I even called Nenny with Twins to tell her the good news.
Auntie Vee who lives in England is a good friend who taught EvieG to raise the roof when she was 2. We were on the road and we were cruising along to Madonna. We were rocking and led by positive example. Ever since that day, it is mandatory that the Wee Ladies know and understand the importance of raising their hands in the air while listening to tunes in the car.
Volume control is an issue. EvieG likes to hear things loud and clear. Spark Plug is extra sensitive and covers her ears when it rains. So finding the balance can sometimes be challenging. I am always trying to find the right balance between the front, back, right, and left areas of the van. EvieG will catch a snippet of something she likes and will state, "I can't hear it, please." This means, TURN IT UP, MA! I WANNA ROCK THIS JOINT. She is so polite in her asking, isn't she?
I can never seem to get the volume control right. If we put the sound in the back only, I still like to hear it. Hubby will open the side door to get the Wee Ladies unbuckled and ask, "Can you hear it? Do you realize how loud it is back here?" No wonder Spark Plug is covering her ears. I am always having to turn it up for EvieG and down for Spark Plug. So I have decided to make sure that the volume is equally represented between the front and back. That way we can all listen and enjoy Mr. Big together.
Spark Plug is picky. She told me to get rid of Black Cars. If the music selection does not meet her high standards, she says, "I don't like it. I don't want it! Too Loud!" Hmmmmph. Party pooper.
As we cruised along to Tom Petty's Free Fallin', much to Spark Plug's dismay, I told Hubby, "The last time I drove down this road to this tune I was in my early 20's. Only then it was just me, a smoke, and a can of Diet Coke in my parent's Ford Explorer. I never thought I would do it again minus the nicotine and aspartame with three kids and a husband in a mini van. How things change." Hubby laughed and rolled his eyes.
I am okay with exposing the Wee Ladies to different music now. I am over the all children's music, all day, commercial-free way of thinking. If I hear anything inappropriate, I will change it or turn it off. I am not going to expose them to music with easy-to-follow, questionable lyrics. Even if I did, they wouldn't get it anyway. I remember dancing around my room when I was 8 and singing, Like a Virgin at the top of my lungs. I had no clue what I was saying. I didn't know what She Bop by Cyndi Lauper was about. So would the Wee Ladies understand that James Blunt was intoxicated when he saw a beautiful angel on the subway? Nope. EvieG loves that song. And I censor the foul parts. When the bad words come along, I shout, "LALALALALALALALA!" to drown it out. She is none the wiser.
We will still play children's music. Lots of it. But I will also make sure they know what good music is, classic and modern. Does Ned's Atomic Dustbin count as good music? To me it does.
Maybe I should get Hubby to fix the CD and cassette players in the van. There might be some Olympic coins hiding in there for our collection.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Have a great weekend! It is a long weekend here in Ontario and we will be going away. I will be back online next Tuesday. Labels: DDM, EvieG, Responsibility, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
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