It is officially summer holidays. School is done and the Wee Ladies are home with me now full time, without breaks, every waking second, no childcare until September. I am torn. One the one hand, I am excited because we get to do lots of fun stuff. On the other hand, I think about how insanely insane I am bound to feel at times with them all running circles around me, all the time. We got our summer off to a good start today. And if we can keep the momentum, we will be fine. I know. It's only been a day. Give it time, you say. 

Labels: Family, Fun

We went to Florida tonight. What a great trip it was to the backyard! We didn't actually leave the house, but talked a lot about it! I am glad EvieG and Spark Plug enjoyed the process of planning, packing, and finding their passports.

Labels: EvieG, Family, Spark Plug

The after-dinner roughhousing between Hubby and the Wee Ladies is always entertaining. He is like a Ninja who is fighting off the enemy. They keep coming at him, even after they have been tossed down. They get back up and come at him again with different moves from different angles. He is sometimes left vulnerable. He should be wearing armour. Or a plastic cup.

And what a workout this roughhousing is for him. He can get full strength training completed in just a few minutes. By bench pressing, doing leg lifts, core training, and bicep curls, squatting, and ham string curls, he finishes it off with some clean and presses. The Wee Ladies make for perfect free weights as they are lifted and tossed about the room.

Sometimes he gets kicked and hit in the wrong places, if you know what I mean. He gets a real beating from the three of them sometimes. He tries to keep himself safe, but it doesn't always work.

And so tonight, as they were all roughhousing, he got gas-pedaled in the you-know-where. He grimaced, rolled up into fetal position, and cried out like he would have after being kicked in the bits by a girl in grade school. I could only cringe and hold the Wee Ladies off momentarily as they snorted and dug and pounded their hoofs in, ready to go at him again full steam.

And all EvieG could say to him, obviously not knowing the reason for his painful outcry, was, "Daddy. Protect yourself!"

And all he could do was look at me and beg for mercy.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Fun

Here we are, another year later, with Mother's Day upon us. I went back into the archives and read what I posted last year. My sentiments are unchanged. You can click here to read it. After all we have been through in our family in the last year with our move, I have realized that the Wee Ladies are just as happy as they were the year before. It is our love and consistency that keeps them so secure. 

Labels: Family, Reflection

Spark Plug announced, "I love my bir-day, Mommy!" this morning while we drove EvieG to school. I'll take that as another mission accomplished. We had a birthday celebration yesterday that was certainly Estrogen-Only.

Flowers was the theme. Initially I thought tulips, but could only find flowers of all varieties. It worked well.

EvieG was at school yesterday which actually worked out well because Spark Plug and I had a lot of time together, especially when The Destroyer was napping. We prepared, played outside, read books, iced her cake, got dressed. It was really fantastic. We both enjoyed the time.

After school, another little friend came over and the party started. We had pancakes, fruit, cake, ice cream, presents, and finished it off with a trip to the back 40 where the Wee Ladies proceeded to wade through a foot of water. Ending the party with wailing due to cold water up to their knees and mega soakers, we settled them down with a warm bath and books. They needed some down time because they were wired after the sugarfest. Only an estrogen-only party would be guaranteed to end with crying and discontent.

Spark Plug had a blast. She lapped up all the attention and wishes she had a birthday everyday. It was tough to explain to the other Wee Ladies that it was Spark Plug's special day and that we had to support her and make sure she had a good time. I explained that everyone has one special day a year and it is important to be happy for that person. EvieG understood and after a couple of snits, realized the truth and helped make Spark Plug's birthday a real fun one. The Destroyer was just fine. She did run off with her new crown and princess shoes a couple of times.

You must remember my cake from EvieG's party last summer. Click here for a refresher. I made another DDM classic- a chocolate cake in the shape of a tulip. I carved out the tulip shape myself...no special pan for this one! It wasn't from a box either, but it was close. Our oven is a little inconsistent and the middle took an extra long time to bake. The outside was a little crisp. I included greens and all for special effect. Check it out....


I loved planning and executing this shin dig. It was great fun for everyone.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Thanks for reading! I will be back next week with more!

Labels: Family, Fun, Spark Plug

The birthday went well. And as Nenny with Twins says, the day after is the worst day of the year. The attention is over and done with and now you have to wait a whole 365 days until the next birthday. Well, the day is over and I am going to try to enjoy being 34. For me, the longest day of the year was a good one. Aunt Nancy drove up with my aunt, her daughter, and my grandmother, Nana. They stayed for a while and we had a great visit.

Labels: DDM, Family, Nenny with Twins, Reflection

It always cracks me up when I point out different things while driving with the Wee Ladies. I can try and try to announce in as much advance as possible the things I want them to see, but 98% of the time, they miss it.

Labels: Family

I don't ever remember really feeling the freezing cold when I was little. I remember being cold, but dealing with it. Kids are tough crackers and when playing in the snow, they could care less if they had frostbite. I watch the Wee Ladies play and tumble in the snowbanks without too much complaining.

We have good mittens, but not great ones. We were out the other night and Spark Plug was having a jolly time sliding and jumping around a huge snowbank wearing her not-so-wonderful fleece mittens. We have just come out of a major deep freeze in this part of the world and it was cold. It was way below zero degrees Celsius and the Wee Ladies didn't seem to care. EvieG and Spark Plug played while The Destroyer wandered around pulling the sleigh.

It was I who pulled the chute on them. Knowing that their hands were not covered in super duper snowmobile mittens, I told Hubby it was time to take them back to the van, fearing potential frostbite.
Because apparently frostbite is when you can no longer feel your fingers. There was no complaining of pain, no comments about being cold. I knew I didn't want to be that person to bring their three frostbitten Wee Ladies into the ER and then have the entire hospital staff say under their breath, "What a moron! Doesn't she know to keep her kids inside when it is Arctic like temperatures? Should we be calling CAS?"

We high-tailed it for the van. It was a horror show trying to get them in. They would not go in. As they stiffened into straight 2 by 4's, I literally had to pick them up and throw them into their car seats, breaking the boards in the mid-section, as they threw the best of the best conniption. They wanted to play outside in the snow! Didn't I see that? Awwwww, mom!!!

I remember being the same way as a kid. I know I didn't care that I had icicles hanging from my nostrils, and numb fingers and toes. I could care less that my neck-warmer was drenched in bad 10 year old hot dog breath, or that my butt was stinging from sitting in my snow pod that I had just spent a half hour making. And I even persevered through sitting with my tongue glued to the metal fence post. Remind me to tell you the story about the time I put my tongue to the safety bar on the chair lift at the ski hill. That is a good one.

We made it through and our kids will too. They will enjoy all of these experiences just like we did. They will survive the cold and come out virtually unscathed. They might have to leave a few tongue cells behind at some point, but they will have fun. And they will always remember it too.

The best part is that they will always have mom there to bring them inside to where it's warm and cozy, with a hot chocolate waiting.

Or a Little Hotties hand warmer ready to put in their mittens and boots as she sends them back out into the frosty wintry world.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Fun

One thing that does not come with you on a move is babysitters. We had babysitters in our other town. A few to choose from. And now we have none. I am on a mission. A mission to search out and locate some babysitters.

We had fantastic babysitters. Teenagers who were great with the Wee Ladies. One babysitter always brought amazing crafts in her babysitting bag of tricks. The Wee Ladies adored her; I adored her. And we will miss her.

We also had 3 girls across the street who could walk over anytime. They were great too.

And so we start from scratch. It is hard. I have been asking around. Any contact that I have so far, I am asking for some help with this. I have even asked Sparkle at EvieG's Sparks group. She is on it. And a few moms are going to try and help too.

Until we find someone, there will be no date night. Or mom time, unless it occurs after working hours or on weekends.

So we take the Wee Ladies with us to eat out. And what a relaxing time that is. There is nothing like watching The Destroyer reach her Restaurant-Sitting-Threshold. It is like the button shuts off and she checks out. Before we are done our pints. And so we usually ask for the bill in advance so we can chug, pay, and fly. Because it gets to a point where you can only run around the bar so many times. I had to laugh when The Destroyer went up to the bar and tried to climb up to be seen by the bartender.....I thought I heard her ask for a martini with an extra olive. He thought it was a pint of beer with a straw.

We will do anything to keep them sitting at the table and occupied while we wait for the meal and try to eat. We break out the crayons, hand them a wet nap to play with, a spoon, even the ketchup bottle. But last night, I pulled out the last resort- the cell phone. Hubby got his playlist going for EvieG, and Spark Plug was playing with the camera on mine. I am sure the last picture stored in the memory is one of my nostrils as I approach to grab the phone. I should get it blown up into an 8x10 glossy. Today I had to wipe it down because it is so gooey from little chicken finger and plum sauce covered hands.

Someone please help me find a babysitter! If I can't get out alone between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm, or be able to go for dinner without children, I might just have to go and get a box of Timbits and eat away my disappointment. We don't want that.

It just goes to show that a babysitter is a really great thing to have on hand. And you really notice the difference when they are not around or available.

I have a call into the Pathfinders group with the Girl Guides of Canada. Surely, one of the girls has her babysitting certification.

If we find one, I hope she brings over a box of Girl Guide cookies.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Mission

Happy New Year to everyone!

I am wearing a grey turtleneck and pants today. I did this purposely to match my hair. With the moving experience, my hair has gone several various shades of grey. It is funny because the more stressful the situation, the lighter the grey gets. I have three different shades of grey going on right now.

Charcoal Grey: This is a nice dark tone that matches my outfit quite nicely today. I noticed a few hairs this colour as we were in the throes of packing the rest of our house and getting it into the moving truck.

I thought we were pretty organized in getting packed and moved. We had been working on it for a couple of months. I was wrong. We were totally scattered and by the end, we were throwing things in boxes and tying clothes to the side of the truck. I called this experience Tetris Packing. Hubby was in charge of packing the truck, along with his brother. Dear friends also came over to stick some fire in our pants and without their help we would have been completely screwed. I thought Hubby was doing a good job at the Tetris Packing by placing boxes and furniture strategically in order to fill up every available space without losing points and then the game. He started off well and then I noticed about at about the half way mark that he was leaving some holes. Big ones. Game Over.

I was starting to get tense, thinking we would not have enough room to put everything. He reassured me that we would be fine. I had doubts. The glass was half empty this day. Good thing we had two vans to fill.

Hubby and I started to get on each other's nerves. We started nipping and barking and spatting. He told me I took too long to pack the boxes leaving too much space in the truck and therefore the only other option was to put in more furniture. I told him that his Tetris Packing abilities were lacking. Thank goodness our friends were there to diffuse any brewing explosions.

We had to leave a little bit of stuff behind because it wouldn't fit. We will be back to pick it up when Hubby returns to get his truck.


Silver grey (like tinsel): We hit the road and drove through freezing rain the whole way. I had the Wee Ladies and Hubby was driving the 26 footer. My MIL came with us and drove the other van.

The Wee Ladies have handled the change very well and they were all super during the ride up. My silver grey hairs were matching my knuckles as I gripped the steering wheel for dear life as we were pelted with freezing rain. I had to keep using my wiper fluid to clean the windshield off and at one point I ran out. Crap. I was on a four lane road and pulled off to the side to refill my container. I was stressed. It was a long and slippy ride. After a morning of packing the rest of our stuff, this four hour drive was tiring. We made it up in one piece.

We rented a condo for two nights. We went for dinner and called it a night the first night. We were to meet our movers the next morning. They helped Hubby with the big ticket items.

My MIL looked after the Wee Ladies as Hubby and I moved our stuff into our new place. She totally saved me from slitting my wrists. She was there to help with food, laundry, kids, organizing, running around. She was amazing and we are really going to miss her. The kids adore her and they have a very good relationship with her. We will have to make sure that they see her as often as possible.

Cloud Grey (a very light shade when the sun is almost peeking through): My MIL left today. And my blood pressure has been up ever since. Hubby started work yesterday. I am trying to get unpacked and organized while dealing with the Wee Ladies. So far I have applied bandages to fingers dripping in blood from a broken piggy bank, I have counseled EvieG through her first fight with her stuffed animal/best friend, cleaned up the same messes made by The Destroyer a few times, settled fights, and wiped many runny noses. All of this in between getting situated.

EvieG has started school and Sparks. Spark Plug wants to live in her princess nighties and trying to get her dressed to go out is a nightmare. The Destroyer is busy climbing and trying to get into everything. She also tries to help sweep by swinging the broomstick around and nearly decapitating anyone in her proximity.

We will persevere. Moving with kids is hard and if anyone tells you differently, they are lying.

All I want right now is a stiff drink and tweezers to pluck out these grey hairs.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Thanks to Nenny with Twins for blogsitting again. I-LOVE-HER.

PPS I have a list a mile long of blog topics. Please come back to check it all out. Who's DDM for January will be up as soon as I have time to take a pee and sit down to do it.

PPPS There will also be some more reviews heading your way in the DDM's Try Ons section. I will keep you posted on that front.

Thanks for sticking by me through this transition.

Labels: Battle, Chores, DDM, Family

It is nice to have a boy in the house. And no, Hubby is not the boy I am talking about. We are looking after my pal's 8 year old son today and tomorrow. My pal is working and school is out. We love having him around. The Wee Ladies are having a ball and it adds a whole new dynamic to the house.

As I observe them all playing, there is no question that there is a different vibe; almost like a physical energy. There has been a whole lot of physical play, as they run, play hide and seek, make snow forts, and play the-running-away-from-the-giant-squid game (the giant squid is the dog). We have made and decorated gingerbread cookies too. And it is only noon. The energy this guy has!

He takes good care of the Wee Ladies. He keeps a watchful eye over them and makes sure The Destroyer doesn't take marker to the walls, furniture, and carpet in the basement. He tried to take Spark Plug for a ride on the sled, but she wouldn't have any of it. It was adorable watching him try to pick her up to put her on the toboggan.

It is a nice change, not to say I don't love having the three Wee Ladies all the time. I'm just saying it is nice to mix it up a bit sometimes. I love that they have kept each other amused all morning inventing games and making each other guffaw as they try and interpret what The Destroyer is saying.

I say it is awesome having a boy around. This boy in particular is like a big brother to the Wee Ladies. He is the perfect guy to have hanging around the girls.

It is the other guys that will be hanging around later on. I am not sure I will feel the same way about those ones.

Hubby will for sure not feel the same way about those ones.

We'll just have to keep this one around for a while longer.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Fun

I find it hard not to get carried away with holiday baking. Since my teenage years, I have been in charge of providing the family with a plethora of holiday goodies. Squares and cookies ranging in flavours have found homes in the many Tupperware containers and tummies in our family.

For the past few years I have hosted a cookie exchange party. A few moms would come over with a few dozen of one treat and then we would exchange them and end up with a wide variety of holiday goodies. We only had to make one thing and end up with several different sweet treats. I didn't do it this year because of our move and because we wouldn't be able to get through it all. So I am back to selecting a few different recipes for this year.

A good girlfriend of mine lent me her Mrs. Fields Cookbook from 1992. It has one hundred cookie recipes in it. I have had it in safe-keeping in our cupboard since last Christmas when we made Christmas sugar cookies and gingerbread cookies. She needs it again for this year's batch and has asked for it back. Sure, no problem. I have decided I need to get myself a copy of this book because there are some recipes in there that we must have for the holiday baking.

I decided to go through my recipe file and select this year's festive goodie line-up. I sat with EvieG and we went through one at a time. She got bored after about the third recipe and left me to finish this task alone. No hard feelings. It took me about a half hour to decide what to make. There are so many good recipes to pick from!

I chose a selected assortment. Ten bucks says I will continue to find any excuse to use the old classic Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chip recipe that Nenny With Twins e-mailed me.

I have decided on the following goodies for this year's festivities:

1. Cookie Cutter Sugar Cookies
2. Gingerbread Cookies
3. Classic Shortbread
4. Cranberry-White Chocolate Shortbread
5. Chocolate Cookies (using cake mix)
6. Peanut Butter Balls (with Rice Krispies)
7. Peanut Butter Cup Tarts (you stick a PB cup in the Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chip cookie dough and bake it)
8. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies for Uncle Jeff

And here is what I am debating with myself- do I make Confetti Squares? The peanut butter squares with the multi-coloured marshmallows? You know the ones that were served at every bake sale, church bazaar, and holiday party or dinner?

I should have just hosted the cookie exchange party. As I look at my list, I am realizing that I may have too much stuff. It would have been easier to make one thing and then exchange with everyone else. Maybe I just need to do a short-list and ax a few of these things, like one of the shortbread recipes.

And one of the peanut butter recipes.

The kids don't even eat peanut butter.

I think that they have to experience the Confetti Squares at least once. That taste never dies.

I just hope they don't have some sort of reaction. Maybe I should do a scratch test on them first. On their forearms.

I wouldn't want to them to have ill-feelings towards the Confetti Square experience.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS DDM's Try Ons is up and running! Head on over to check it out! More reviews are coming, so stay tuned...thanks to Brian for setting it all up!

Labels: DDM, Family, Fun, Nenny with Twins, Responsibility

Yesterday was our annual trip to the U-Cut tree farm. We don't go to the well known tree farm/theme park, but rather to another farm run by the same people. It is a couple of concessions Southeast. It is the same place we have gone for years. Which means there aren't many trees left for the taking. There are a lot of stumps.

Here is the tree EvieG thought we should take home-

She thought it was perfect. I laughed so hard, I almost peed my pants. I told her it was indeed lovely and that we should look for one with a few more branches to hang our bubble lights.

We ended up tripping over tree trunks as we meandered through the clear cut forest. I know it doesn't sound too environmentally friendly, but just so you know there is tremendous regrowth surrounding this particular lot of trees.

We found a perfect tree. It was standing alone- full, straight, strong. It was like it saw us coming and puffed out its chest a little more, to say, 'Pick me! I can be beautiful! Especially with bubble lights on me!' Hubby and I both saw it at the same time, stopped in our tracks and it was like I heard the angels singing around us, 'Ahhhhhhhh!' There it was!

I found myself saying to Hubby, "Quick, get it! Cut it down before someone else does!" There was no one else around. It was -10 degrees and windy. The guy minding the premises was sitting in his warm pick up truck, listening to the radio, and drinking a hot coffee.

Hubby and I looked at each other. We discussed and questioned why this tree was still sitting pretty and wondered why it hadn't been cut down long ago?

We shrugged it off and Hubby got down on the ground to start cutting.

Then I heard the, "Oh. Uh oh. Oh, I see! This tree doesn't have just one trunk! It's like, 4 trees in one! It's a mutant!"

I questioned him. "What? What are you talking about? A mutant? How can a tree be mutated? Let me see!"

I got down on the ground and peered in at the trunk. Sure enough, it was 4 trunks in one and couldn't be cut down because it was so close to the ground. A mutant indeed.

Disappointed, we kept moving. The Wee Ladies were handling the cold alright. I was carrying The Destroyer and Spark Plug was being carried by Hubby. She doesn't like walking through the snow. EvieG was having a great time trail blazing her way around the property.

In the far back left corner, we finally found our tree. And it was very similar to our first, failed attempt. Only this new one was fatter. Surprisingly, or not, there were clusters of uncut trees along the very back fenceline. I guess only the real daring folks like us make it back that far and make it out alive.

Hubby cut. And we all yelled, Timber! He ended up dragging it all the way from the back 40 to the parking lot with Spark Plug in the other arm, where he threw it in the back of the pick up truck. By this point, the Wee Ladies were freezing, whining, and waiting to go.

The whole expedition lasted about 10 minutes. The drive was an hour total. Had it been a little warmer, we might have lasted longer. But it was brisk.

We were so excited about our tree. And Hubby and I agreed that every year our tree seems to grow in height and in girth. We got it home and dragged it into the living room.

Before bringing it in, we decided we should change some furniture around to accommodate the tree. We are hosting Christmas and Hubby thought it would be a good idea to make our living room into the dining room and vice versa. We are moving anyway, so we got rid of some furniture and put it in the garage. It worked and looks pretty good.

When Hubby brought the tree in, we ended up putting it beside the fireplace. This tree ended up filling that space and then some. It is so big that it covers part of the fireplace. Good thing we ran out of wood because there will be no more fires. Too risky. The tree protrudes in all directions.

We made sure we checked for squirrels and chipmunks first. Hubby did find something though. A big bird's nest. In the middle of the tree. EvieG was so excited. It was massive! I thought that for sure a flock of birds was going to come flying out and start crapping all over my living room floor.

We vacuumed and decorated and vacuumed some more. And every year, without fail, the vacuum gets clogged with needles, twigs, and tree, even though I always make sure I get rid of the bigger pieces.

The Wee Ladies had a blast decorating. We only had one casualty. Only one broken ornament. And it was my fault. I dropped it. Not the 5 or 2 or 1 year old. Here is a picture of our tree in its completed state-

Notice the bubble lights about two thirds of the way up. I have to keep them away from The Destroyer.

EvieG says they are her favourite lights.

She has such great taste. With the exception of her first choice in trees.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS December's Who's DDM is up! Check it out!

Labels: Family

I will set the stage for you. Picture this-

There is a rather slick looking, shiny black, 4 door Chev pick up filled to the brim with an old, broken dryer, a lemon yellow lounge chair cushion, and half a wooden wine rack driving to the dump. Inside sits a cool looking stud wearing a black fleece pullover, ripped jeans, and low cut hiking boots caked in mud. Beside him is a woman who is wearing the same coffee stained t-shirt she wears a couple times a week, sometimes two days in a row, dirty jeans, and boots without socks. She has her hair pulled back as usual. There is no denying that this is a cool looking couple. The coolness factor resonates from them.

In the back there are 2 girls. A 5 year old and a 1 1 /2 year old. From behind the tethers of the car seat straps you can see, along with their parents in the front, 4 bopping heads. The windows are down and their hair flies in the crisp, Ethanol scented air. They are rockin'.

They rock to the iconic band, The Beastie Boys.

DDM: Whooo hooo! Rock on!

Hubby: Look back at the girls! They are right into this!

EvieG: I know what this song is called! It's called, Hey Ladies!

DDM: That's right! Well done! Rock on, Ladies! (hands waving above her head)

Hubby: I can't believe she knows the name of this song!

DDM: It's great! It's classic!

TheD: Weeeeeeee!

EvieG: Come on everybody! Raise the ceiling!

Pause-, look back-, and stare-.

DDM: What? Did you say raise the ceiling?

EvieG: Yep. Come on!

DDM: Ok, then! Raise-the-ceiling?!! (whispering to Hubby) She means raise the roof....she just had a senior's moment! That's totally something a senior citizen would say on the dance floor, cutting some rug at somewhere like a wedding, who is among a bunch of young people, and trying to look cool. That's my girl!

We are so cool.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Thanks for reading and I will return on Monday....

Labels: Family, Fun

We had a family movie night last night. The Wee Ladies had popcorn and sippy cups of water. Hubby and I had beer. Hubby chose the movie. He has also chosen the next family movie night flick for this weekend. I have to say that I am gobsmackingly impressed.

Hubby: Hey. I have the next 2 movies for family movie night.

DDM: Oh ya? Great! What did you pick? (thinking Disney cartoon or computer animated film of some sort)

Hubby: Tonight we are going to watch The Sound of Music. And this weekend we have none other than Mary Poppins.

DDM: (shock rings through my voice) You are sure you want to sit and watch musicals starring Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, and Dick Van Dyke? The whole way through?

Hubby: Yep. My girls will love it and I want them to enjoy it.

DDM: (to myself) Holy man! A straight guy who voluntarily wants to watch musicals. That is love.

Silence.

Hubby: What was that noise?

DDM: That was just my jaw hitting the floor.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a fab weekend! I will return on Monday with more from this zoo.

PPS I have some fun news to share with everyone on Monday! Be sure to come back then and check out the new announcement!

Labels: DDM, Family, Fun, Hubby

I am totally the opposite of a salon girl. I only go to get my hair highlighted and trimmed. That is the extent of my styling outings. I will go for a pedicure bi-annually because someone found it in their heart to donate to the DDM's Callus Cause. Hubby and I took Spark Plug and The Destroyer for their first hair cuts today. Boy howdy, did we ever see some interesting stuff.

It was 9:30 am. We got to our appointments and we put The Destroyer up on the black vinyl box first. She was squirming right from go. We gave her a sucker to silence her. This goes totally against my 'No suckers until after lunch' policy, but this event was an exception. It didn't work. Every time the hair stylist went to trim some hair, The Destroyer dodged the incoming scissors. We put her down to let her check out the premises, destroy the Christmas tree, and knock down any decorations at floor level until she was comfortable in her surroundings.

We then put Spark Plug up on the pedestal to see how she would do. She is sometimes quite hesitant in new places and in new situations. But I will say that she loves the mirror and all sorts of accessories. If she could, and she usually does, she would roam around in her purple Palmolive Madge sunglasses all day.

She ate up this time in the chair. Completely. Watching, studying, lapping it up. She was in salon, pampering heaven. She sat still and quiet. She did not move a muscle, except to beam at us. She got a trim and some shape added to her hair. The best part for her? The princess sparkles. She had that sparkle hair spray put in her hair and the stylist put it in pigtails. The pride was resonating from her. She got down from the chair, strutted around the shop, and then went straight for the suckers. She continued to strut while simultaneously dancing to Madonna's Hard Candy album.

I had some snippets of their hair put into Zip Loc Sandwich Bags. And that has got to be one of my dumber moves. Plastic bags and baby hair are not a good match. The static in the bag has resulted in the hair sticking to the sides of the bag. And it covers the sides of the bag completely. The hair is spread around like honey spread over a piece of bread. I say, smooth move, DDM. How I am going to collect it all together is a puzzle. I will put it in a drawer or a box along with all of the other stuff that has to yet be placed in some sort of baby album, waiting for the day to come when the Album Fairy comes to save me and make them for me.

When it comes to styling the hair of the Wee Ladies, I get a big, fat, bold F. I brush it and tidy it, on a good day. Usually I just clip it off to the side, or spray some detangler in it to make sure they are not wandering around with rats' nests attached to their heads. I barely do my own hair, so why would I do theirs all nice with a blow dryer and product? I don't. But I did watch the stylist put their hair in pigtails. So I can do that myself now, realizing that I will not pull their hair, or hurt them.

If I am going to start putting their hair in pigtails more often, I am going to have to go out and find some of this princess sparkle spray. Where do you get that stuff?

From this salon experience, we learned that The Destroyer is going to go to the salon because she has to. To her, it is a waste of time. And to Spark Plug, the salon experience will be a way of life.

Hubby has said that he believes he will spend his life funding EvieG's humanitarian missions as she travels the world, helping those in need. Well, now he believes he will be funding Spark Plug's salon missions.

I think The Destroyer will be happy with all access to Dare, Allen's, Cadbury, and Hershey.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Fun

Hubby was laughing out loud at the TV last night. He was watching a Just For Laughs show on The Comedy Channel. I went in to see what was so funny. I missed the comic, but Hubby paraphrased on his behalf. And now I will paraphrase a second time.

It was all about the true colours of your loved ones as they emerge during sleep. This comic said that if you want to know whether you can sustain a good, solid relationship, make sure you sleep in the same bed first. And in this case it is not for the you-know-what. It is to really see what kind of person your future partner will be- in a sleeping state. Because no one cares or is conscious of what they look like while they are sleeping. You are who you truly are. He went on to say that he knew he could be with his wife forever because during their sleepovers, she was an angel when she fell asleep; so calm, beautiful, and peaceful. But in the middle of the night when she was in the middle of her REM cycle she became a walrus. Her mouth would hang open and she would snore. Loudly. He found it in himself to look beyond the walrus. He probably just dabbed the drool from the side of her mouth and rolled her over so she could sleep soundly and not in a pool of her own saliva.

In our house, Hubby has looked beyond my dorky sleeping habits as well. We are in it for the long haul. Apparently I do 'the chicken dance' in my sleep. This is where I put my hand on my head while I am sleeping on my side. And it looks like a chicken wing. I have no idea why I do this, but I guess it's comfortable. I also do the walrus sometimes and when I was pregnant, I was a VIA locomotive. And look- we are still strongly intact.

Hubby has the heat barrier. He likes the sheets cold. He coffins himself between 3 pillows. He has a pillow barricade around him, protecting him from the loving warmth of his wife, and also from her unshaven legs. He has been like this since we met. Even before we had our first sleepover. He rolls from one cold pillow to the other. The bottom line here is a) it isn't an issue, and b) there is never any cuddling action. Ever. That would make the human furnace overheat. We wouldn't want that.

Even the Wee Ladies sleep in funny positions. Both The Destroyer and Spark Plug sleep with their bottoms up. Their faces are planted into their pillows and their bums stick straight up. How this can be remotely comfortable is beyond me.

EvieG is a walrus too and sleeps on her back. She sleeps so still that her hair is one big frizzball every morning. She sleeps with her stuffed animals piled underneath her. I also can't figure out how this is very cozy.

The Wee Ladies always manage to sleep in weird places within their beds. At the bottom of the bed, across the top, on top of the covers, and even on the floor sometimes. I went into EvieG's room over the weekend and found that she had set up camp in her closet. She had her pillow and The Destroyer's quilt, and her books. She said it was her camp out. The Destroyer was missing her blanket, but that didn't seem to matter because we didn't hear a sound from her. Both The Destroyer and Spark Plug seem to sleep without blankets quite often. Sometimes they cry out when they get cold. I don't know how they can sleep for so long without covers!

I am not a fan of sleepovers with the Wee Ladies because of their positioning. They kick, poke, and jab. Like the BAM! and ZONK! and POW! from Batman and Robin, you can see me cringe and clench as I receive each blow throughout the night. But I still do it. And I still love them, even though they hurt me. In the kidney.

Watching them sleep in the car is hilarious. They look like they have had one too many cocktails as their heads swing from side to side, their mouths hang open, and you can see the drool dripping from their chins onto their coats. They even snore.

If this is indeed a look into the true colours of your loved ones, then this is what I see in the future for The Wee Ladies- a girl with one hand on her head, elbow pointing into the air, pillows all around her, blankets on the floor, drool collecting on the mattress, as she kicks her legs while grunting just like our Wee Westie Basil.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Family, Fun, Hubby

After a weekend of traveling with the Wee Ladies, I have tallied:

2 10 packs of Timbits consumed
3 games of I Spy played
1 Tim Horton's coffee with double cream
2 Skinny Vanilla Lattes from Starbucks
1 McDonalds meal
3 boxes of Kleenex for EvieG because she doesn't know how to use just one at a time and we could have had a bonfire with all the paper and goobers

We went to start our search for a place to live in our new town. It is a 4 hour drive between here and there. It went fine. We haven't found anything and need to keep looking. We had fun although it does not go without some crazy moments when there are 3 Wee Ladies in a van for that long.

We have a DVD player that comes out on trips that last more than an hour. We even went to rent some DVD's from Blockbuster for the occasion. We were also told that there was a DVD player in our condo unit.

We were running late on Friday as Hubby took EvieG to the clinic to get her chest checked. She has a wicked cough and cold. By the time we hit the road we were 40 minutes behind and Hubby had to get to his new office to meet his new colleagues. Once we threw everything in the van, we set off. But before we left, I noticed that the DVD was without its power cord. Crap. We couldn't possibly make the 4 hour drive without movies. What did people do before in-car theatre? We couldn't find it and so went without. The kids were fine. They played, slept, coloured, played I Spy....They made it through rather well.

By the time we reached the office, it was like the demons were freed from the confines of hell. They were WILD. Running around, screeching, and climbing on really nice, expensive leather furniture, desks, chairs, and even trying to play with the computer keyboards. I was so proud... They sent us to the boardroom and shut the door. They had a TV in there and put on kids programming. They were very gracious and understanding, but I was anxious and sweating, and even more anxious because I thought I smelled. I was hot. I was flushed. I felt badly for the Wee Ladies as I tried to control them.

We had a condo with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and a kitchen. We ate out once and stayed in the rest of the time. I had packed lots of food and snacks, so we were more than okay. It worked out pretty well, but come the time to put in a movie, there was no DVD player. They told me there would be a DVD player. Crap. There was a remote, but no machine. Just 2 old VCR players and old TVs. The buttons were sticking and made it difficult to find something to watch. I did stay up to finish watching Two Weeks Notice starring Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock.

The stuff that we managed to pile into the van is astonishing really. I think our realty agent was flabbergasted by all the crap as she tried to entertain the Wee Ladies in the van as Hubby and I ran through a few places. Playpens, bed rails, food and drink, bags of clothes, toys, markers and colouring books, garbage, stuffed animals, towels and blankets, double strollers, and a case of beer. The van was overflowing. It took a special trip into town just to get rid of the Kleenexes and garbage.

The ride home was more trying. The girls were more edgy and irritable on the trip home. We tried to keep them occupied and were ecstatic when they fell asleep. And then Hubby had to go and stop to use the bathroom. As soon as the van slowed down, we were greeted with wailing.

We have to stop a few times while on the road. We need to stop for bathroom breaks and just to let the Wee Ladies stretch their legs a bit. I think that Hubby and I go to the bathroom more than EvieG does. She has a bladder like a camel. I ask and ask if she needs the washroom. She always replies with a no and continues with her colouring.

The Destroyer was next to EvieG and kept passing gas. She found that she would get a rise out of her sisters when she did her thing. And so she kept pushing. Trying to get it all out to continue the laughter. When there was no more left, EvieG leaned over and pulled her finger, hoping that there was a little more to release.

The Destroyer is all about gas. It comes out both ends constantly, much to her sisters' amusement. When it came to her turn in I Spy, EvieG would preface with the whole, I Spy, with my little eye, something that is......and she would get a gassy response. The Destroyer put her lips together and made noises much like her lower end. Her sisters roared with laughter. They also blamed any odd smell on her too.

I thought I taught better manners than that.

I am just happy that it hasn't been a part of the dinner entertainment yet. I know that in due time The Destroyer will captivate her audience at the table.

And give her the opportunity, she might even try it at a restaurant.

We'll just blame it on the fast food.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Thanks a bunch to Nenny With Twins who posted on my behalf on Friday! I love you! You are the best!

Labels: Family

We are our own art gallery over here. People can come by and view the displayed artistic works of the Wee Ladies. Every room has something for your viewing pleasure. The best part is that it is free, but coffees for the curator are always appreciated.

I have just finished preparing for the next exhibition. I went through the house with my pint of paint and a brush and eliminated all old works. In the living room beside the fireplace there was a really nice piece. It was titled, Markings in Ochre, from the year 2008. It was by The Destroyer. It was crayon on matte eggshell, Richmond Gray, Benjamin Moore HC-96. She has been developing her technique and has expanded her style to include Crayola Washable Markers. On the sofa.

On the small wall between the kitchen and the living room there was a piece by another featured local artist. Spark Plug is her name and she specializes in the use of space. Her piece here was titled, An Exploration of the Hand, 2008. Here we saw a magnificent array of blended colours spanning from the wall to the floor. We saw a blue similar to Yves Klein,

and a brilliant red like in Matisse's Red Room.
I found more artwork as I travelled through each room. Works that reflected the raw talent and style of each artist. Each work was covered as we cleared for the next lot of art.

EvieG is an artist who is experimenting with cutting, pasting, and drawing. She favours collage. She has been known to dapple in a variety of mediums, sculpture included. I have been to some houses in the area who have her work hanging or placed in a special spot for all to see. At one point she thought it would be a good idea to rough out her place on the wall in pencil. As curator, I like to have things run by me first for approval and in this instance, I decided it was an inappropriate spot and had her erase the area and scrub it with Baking Soda. I did appreciate her creative integrity though.

As curator of our gallery, I like to have artists who represent a wide variety of expression. I am happy to say that the walls have been covered in various places throughout the house and our gallery has been well received by the public. And now that the gallery is undergoing a major shift, we have had to think about how we will exhibit future works.

I think that Scotch tape and construction paper might be a good option and we can go with a winter theme.

White crayons might be a safe bet too. Then they won't show up as clearly on the walls.

Or maybe Colour Wonder. Then we can have the viewers wonder where the art is.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Fun

The Wee Ladies squawk to get what they want. It is like we are living with a flock of birds.

DDM: Hey! Keep your hands to yourself! We don't hit!

TheD: SQUAWK! Grunt....run away.

EvieG: Don't take my Halloween candy!

Spark Plug: SQUAWK!

DDM: Use your words!

The Destroyer and Spark Plug are playing tug o' war with the Barbie Car....

SSSSSQQQQQUUUUAAAAWWWWWKKKK in unison.

DDM: Hey! That's enough! No more squawking! Where are my ear plugs? And the Extra Strength Advil Liquid-Gels...Fast Release?

The Destroyer is trying to take EvieG's sippy cup of orange juice and it is none other than a screeching, piercing SQUAWK! as EvieG tries to get it back followed by The Destroyer's pull to hang on and the flexing of her thigh muscles.

There is a squawk for candy, a squawk for cookies, a squawk for toys, and even for a toothbrush and toothpaste. They are communicating via the squawk. Especially when it comes to wanting food and sweets, or if something is being held by the other squawker, if something is taken away, or if things just aren't going the right way.

Do they think that they will always get what they want? They think it is the way to be heard. We might give in sometimes, just to shut them up.

I wonder how they will respond to each other as they start fighting over clothes? The SQUAWK plus the SLAM is what I predict. Or rather the MEOW, SCRATCH, HISS, and SLAM.

What will happen when their boyfriend bails on dinner plans? Will they ring him up, SQUAWK into the phone and then hang up?

I am dreading years of the SQUAWK. I won't be able to take it. I will be in the loony bin long before puberty if it keeps up at this rate.

All I am going to hear in my sleep is SQUAWKING. I would be much happier if I could hear crickets.

How can we get to a gentle chirp from the window shattering SQUAWK?

3 separate bedrooms and 3 separate bathrooms.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS The November Who's DDM should be up anytime. You can also go back and reread past Who's DDM's...

Labels: Battle, Family

It is Halloween and the Wee Ladies and I have been busy today, hence the late blog. There is much to do to prepare for the craziness that comes with tricks and treats.

EvieG is a princess. She is using the Cinderella dress she has had for 3 years now. This is its first Halloween debut. Spark Plug is Tinkerbell. She makes a perfect fairy. Petite with her blond highlights that women would kill for. The Destroyer gets the shaft and is wearing Spark Plug's Winnie the Pooh costume from last year. There will be a day when she accepts no more hand-me-downs, but for now, she couldn't care less.

We carved our pumpkins this afternoon. This was interesting because I was trying to keep the place impeccably neat and tidy in preparation for 2 showings that occurred today. I am telling you, this house has never been so spotless. I think the last time it was this clean was when we moved in and cleaned it from top to bottom. Good thing I went through the 'nesting' phase too when I was pregnant. It is amazing how every nook and cranny had to be beyond clean. The car included. We went and had it detailed prior to each baby's arrival. I cleaned out every cupboard and closet with a very potent cleaner as I prepared for each Wee Lady. I reorganized everything. So this most recent de-cluttering was not too strenuous.

I made a huge mistake and went out and bought candy before today. I bought Halloween bags of Twizzlers and Smarties as requested by EvieG. I threw in a bag of assorted mini chocolate bars for good measure. Why do I do this to myself? With the whole moving thing and all that I am thinking about right now, why would I go out and buy this stuff when I know that I am going to eat it? All of it. It is all gone. We have nothing for any trick or treaters if they come by.

I turn the lights off at our house. We live on a fairly busy street and find that the kids hang out in the neighbourhood behind us. So there is no point in my sticking around to hand out another candy to kids who already have a full pillow case full when I can watch my 3 Wee Ladies trick or treat. That is far more exciting. Call me selfish.

My MIL and FIL are coming over any time for pizza and beer. They do this every year so they can see the Wee Ladies in their costumes. We eat, drink, and take pictures. And then we hit the hood and pound on doors for some good loot.

Remember the days when you used to get apples and Cola? I mean real Cola. That's what was on the can. Did you ever get the soda where you had to use a can opener to access the fizzy goodness? Did you ever get anything shady? Now it is anything made in China. And these are the gummy candies of all shapes and sizes. Gummy vampire teeth, gummy pizza, gummy bugs, etc. There is so much gummy material out there for the picking at the local dollar store.

I know one girl whose favourite Halloween candy was and probably still is Arachides. Have you ever had these before? She was obsessed with the Arachides and called them that for years. And then when she was about 14, she realized that all those years Arachides were nothing more than Glosette Peanuts. She finally realized that there was an English side of the box and a French.

Happy Halloween!

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS. My favourite part is sorting the candy when we get home. One for EvieG, one for me. One for Spark Plug, 2 for me. One for The Destroyer, 3 for me. Why is it that The Destroyer always gets the shaft?

Labels: Family, Fun

We have big changes going on right now. None of which I have blogged about before. But now I can!

We are preparing to move. We are heading north to a town 4 hours away.

Hubby is transferring to another office with the bank he works with. He is an Investment Advisor. We are thrilled about the opportunities the area has to offer. He starts in January.

This town we are going to is a big tourist/ski/retirement/beachy destination. It is beautiful, hilly, welcoming, and very community oriented. There are lots of people who live there full time and many who visit on the weekends. It is a progressive and happening place to be.

I grew up in the area and have some family up there. We also have very dear friends who live there. So we are going to a place where we are comfortable and know people. Hubby is moving somewhere new for the first time in his life. He is excited about starting fresh in a place that has a lot of growth, progress, and opportunity.

We are de-cluttering the house right now to get it ready for showings. We listed the house with a realtor yesterday. There is a sign on our front lawn. It is weird to see it there. There is no more squalor to be found in this house. I am going to have to be a tidy freak.

EvieG asked, "What is that sign doing on our lawn?"

Hubby and I reminded her of the fun she had here over the summer. She was so excited when she realized that she will be moving to a very large playground. She also had a few moments of sadness when she understood she would be leaving some family, friends, her bedroom, and house behind. But we made her understand that change is good, exciting, and fun. That there is a whole new world waiting for her to explore. She liked the sounds of that.

Kids are adaptable and resilient. The Wee Ladies are young enough to just go with it. They will meet new people and learn new things. They will be exposed to things like skiing and many other outdoor activities. It is a very active place to live. And we are active.

This is something we have talked about over time. The door has opened for Hubby to move within his company and we are all over it. We have to go where we will thrive. As someone we know has said, the move has been executed. We are taking the plunge, making it happen, going for it. We are assuming risk and jumping in with both feet. You never know until you try. And so we are going to try.

We will be heading up to find a place to live. We need to get acquainted with the area. We need to find EvieG a school.

We are so happy about what the future holds as we embark on this new phase in our life. We will be back to visit lots and will only be a 4 hour drive away.

There is lots to digest at the moment. It is not easy leaving behind loved ones.

We have to do what we have to do. And we feel that this is a very positive move all around.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I will keep the blog updated of all new happenings and events.

Labels: Announcements, Family

This is why I don't invest a lot of money in clothing...

Because everything I wear is a giant napkin for the Wee Ladies. That is one of my many t-shirts with cookie smeared at the shoulder thanks to The Destroyer. I picked her up to wash her off and she cleaned herself first.

Here is the wrist of my sweater....

I don't know who's snarf this is. I always wipe my nose on the other sleeve.

Missing is the semi-used Kleenex that sticks out of the end of my sleeve. Like my Grade 1 teacher used to do.

We ran out of wipes in the van. Much to my horror, I found myself acting as a damp napkin today. It is picture re-take day for EvieG. And Spark Plug was out this morning playing too.

As I let each one out of the van, I noticed slight breakfast face. Having no wipes left, I resorted to the one thing I hated as a kid. The slobber-wipe. Remember when you were a kid and your mom licked her thumb to clean your face off? Yep. I did that today. And it was like a slow motion trip back to 1979 while I simultaneously saw the wincing of the Wee Ladies as I licked my thumb and brought it to their chins. They both did the same thing. They pursed their mouths, scrunched their eyes, and stiffened as they became covered with saliva.

I guess I could have just let them go wearing their breakfast face. And I considered doing that. I have done it before. But they looked really cute today. And it would have reduced their cuteness factor by 10 fold if I let them go looking like slobs.

It's on my list. Wipes. Must get the Wipes.

Being a human napkin is not one of those things I want to be regularly. Trust me.

At least I didn't actually lick them. Even though it would have been much quicker and more efficient.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Have a fun weekend! I will return on Monday with more!

Labels: DDM, Family, Fun

Not too long ago, I wrote about our Sport Rack on top of the van. We used this to travel north in August and for some reason after we returned home, it managed to become a permanent fixture up there. People could spot our van among the millions of others. Now we have chameleoned back into a regular van. We blend in. We are back to boring. All because Hubby finally took the Sport Rack off.

I am so proud that he got this job done.

There is nothing like the sight of a hot man and his drill.

It only took 2 months. That is not too bad.

People were getting used to seeing the Sport Rack in all its glory up there. And then one day, one of EvieG's friends saw the van drive by. His mom told him that we had just gone by. He refused to believe it. He said, "No that's not them mommy! That van didn't have that thing on the top! That was someone else!"

Now we have to clear out the squalor that is our garage so we can get the van in. The cold weather is here and it is easier if I don't have to scrape the windshield while trying to mind the Wee Ladies. Although they love watching the scraper clear their windows off. Just like they love watching the windows get sprayed with the psychedelic soaps at the drive-thru car wash and then rinsed off. It is a real trip. A guaranteed few moments of silence. I highly recommend that trip if you are having a bad day with the kids.

At least I didn't get too used to having the Sport Rack on top of the van. If it had really become a permanent fixture, I would have lost it while trying to drive the van into the garage.

It is definitely not the same damage as running into a curb.

Or leaving your coffee on top of the van, only to drive away with it still there.

And then having to take the kids to the drive-thru car wash. Again.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Fun, Hubby

I ended yesterday's blog with a comment about my Consumer's Distributing dollhouse. About how it wasn't the dream house I was expecting from Santa. I was 6 years old and I still remember that feeling of excitement with a slight pang of disappointment. I enjoyed playing with my dollhouse and have often thought about how the Wee Ladies would love it too. Well, now they can!

We were over at my mom's this morning and she spent all of yesterday cleaning out her basement. So told me over the phone that she had some things for me to take home, but didn't mention the dollhouse. I heard about my old trunk and my grandmother's bread maker.

When I got to my mom's and saw the pile, I was over the moon. Elated. EvieG was equally as thrilled. The house was sitting in a box in parts, covered with a thick layer of dust that I am sure has been accumulating since 1983. We are without accessories, but after this rare find, I believe there is still hope; that the other bits and bobs are elsewhere in the basement. I thought this house was long gone. I didn't know she still had it hidden among the Space Lego and Tonka trucks and front loaders.

Here it is! All washed and assembled!
I am missing a few parts. Gone is the front door, balcony, and chimney. But at least my cardboard pictures are still glued on the walls. They were actually record covers I mistook for pictures. Western Tunes, Jazz Songs, and Sing Along Tunes. Notice the bay window in the living room! Do they make dollhouses with bay windows anymore? Probably not. That would be too much work and too expensive.

The interior is very much a step back into an era where bright blue and lime green dominated decorating trends. The furniture that accompanied these rooms matched perfectly. The stand up shower with its plastic door was even green.

You can see the reddish brown kitchen floor that echoes a nice parquet floor. There is also an area of imitation slate. When I was a kid, I lifted this piece off and used the pit below as a makeshift swimming pool for my Glamour Gals.

That's right. Glamour Gals. The 80's version of Bratz. The description of a Glamour Gal is as follows:

Glamour Gals were made by Kenner in 1980-1982. They were 4.25 inch fashion dolls, that all came in a specific themed outfit. There were over 70 individual dolls/outfits, and guys for them. There were playsets, including a house (Party Place) a beauty salon, a wedding playset (with exclusive groom doll), and a car (the Fancy Firebird).

Why my mom even allowed them is a mystery to me. We weren't heavy into this kind of doll. I was more of a Strawberry Shortcake/Barbapapa kind of kid.
The Glamour Gals were Farrah Fawcett/Charlie's Angels looking dolls. They were sold wearing the latest 80's fashions. I had many of these gals and I remember playing with them in the back of our chocolate brown wood paneled station wagon with the rumble seat.

How do I feel about my Wee Ladies playing with these dolls? Whatever. I cannot stop them from playing with BPA laden plastics. But I can say that I think they are lead free. I love that they can get a quick glimpse back into my play days. And if they want to go out shopping for a shimmery silver off the shoulder number, well, I will just tell them to wait until the economy is booming again. I will highly encourage the salmon ensemble.

Check out these iconic beauties. And click here for a retro commercial advertising the carrying case that I had.

Why is it that blondes represent that majority with these kinds of dolls? But it's the outfits! The silver strapless top shimmering against the grey slacks with matching pointed booties. And then the salmon jumpsuit next to the the velvet mauve vest with carefully coordinated trousers and poofy long sleeve blouse. The candy striper fourth in line is a real vision in her wedges. The last gal with her low cut banana yellow blouse is missing her long pencil jean skirt. My brother probably stole it so he could get a look at her girlie parts.

I am happy that the Wee Ladies have something of mine from childhood to play with. It makes me happy and it brings back so many memories.

Next on the list? Pulling out the Dr. Suess and P.D. Eastman classic library that was purchased like the Columbia House cassette club. Get 10 for nothing and then buy 10 more at regular price. Giving my mom a year to fulfill her obligation to the Time Life book club. I think we got free Cat in the Hat shaped book ends thrown in there too.

I can't wait to teach EvieG to read Go Dog Go, Wacky Wednesday, and Are You My Mother? Those books are way better than some of the stories they are using to improve their reading skills with today.

I wonder if there are still copies of Mr. Mugs or Flipper the Dolphin out there?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Family, Fun

When Hubby took EvieG out to the pet store to replace our Betta fish, Goldie, they were gone an awfully long time. They said they were heading to the pet store and then to the grocery store to pick up bananas. An hour and a half later, I thought they were bringing the menagerie home for sure.

As I anxiously awaited the new addition to our house, I put the younger Wee Ladies down for a nap, blogged, and then surfed celebrity gossip sites. What were they going to bring home? You never know when you send Hubby out on a mission.

The door finally opened. EvieG barreled in empty-handed. Hubby followed with several bags from Home Depot. No fish, no bananas, but a whole lot of bathroom accessories.

It was just like when I send him to the grocery store. He ends up bringing home a bunch of stuff not even remotely close to what was on the list. He'll bring home things like wasabi and Parmesan cheese.

I asked EvieG where the fish was. She matter-of-factly stated that they had decided to wait.

Hmmm. Wait for what? Was this Hubby's way of ending the fish saga? For good?

Nope.

Hubby then piped up and said that they thought it might be a good idea to ask Santa for an aquarium.

What the?

An aquarium. A big glass box filled with water, heaters, pebbles, fake plants, a backdrop displaying a lovely freshwater aquatic scene, algae eaters, and perhaps the odd guppy.

At this point I could see the expenses rising and rising some more.

And then I envisioned myself up to my armpits in sludge as I slaved to keep the box clean and the fish alive. I had a hard enough time keeping one Betta fish going. Having an aquarium is one big, constant trip to the pet store to replace fallen guppies or angel fish. The only ones that ever seem to survive are the algae eaters and the Neons.

Where did they decide this aquarium would be situated? They did agree that EvieG's dresser would be a good spot. Obviously forgetting that The Destroyer climbs onto the dresser from her crib now. We have had to move the crib into the middle of the floor because she climbs onto and grabs anything she can.

There is no way. It is not going to happen. No aquariums allowed. This mom is putting her foot down. I do so knowing I would be the one pretty much responsible for its upkeep.

Santa will just have to send a brand new Betta tank and fish. He will have to chince out a little bit like he did the year I asked for a human size, wooden, accessorized doll house and ended up with the small, plastic retro one from Consumer's Distributing.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Chores, EvieG, Family, Hubby, The Destroyer

Hubby is on his way to the pet store with EvieG on a quest to replace Goldie. One would obviously think Goldie was a goldfish but this is not the case with our Goldie. Goldie was a bright blue Betta fish. Also known as a Siamese fighting fish.

He had a pretty little tank to himself. Because they can only live alone. They would kill anything else that invaded their space. EvieG fed him some days when I would remind her. Otherwise he was just another fixture in our upstairs bathroom, like the toothbrushes, hair clips, and towel rack.

When Hubby and I departed on Friday, I noticed that Goldie was swimming on his side. I knew he was coming to the end. I put some more food into his tank and ordered him to enjoy his last supper. I had a feeling my MIL would spot him floating, or laying on the bottom. But instead, we got home and Hubby found him. And he hadn't even enjoyed his last meal. It was still floating on the surface. He flushed him and cleaned the water in his tank. And moved stuff around in what I perceived to be an attempt to hide the fact that Goldie was missing. Arguably, he could have told EvieG that Goldie was playing a good old fashioned game of hide and go seek with her. And avoid the whole death thing. To which she would say, "But Daddy, where is he? I can't see him!" And then what? She would be mortified and scarred for the rest of her life. The demise of her first pet.

I told Hubby that EvieG needed to mourn the loss of Goldie properly.

What next? How does one go about breaking such news to an emotional, sensitive, 5 year old girl?

By simply stating, "EvieG. When Mommy and Daddy were away, Goldie took a trip to heav-."

I couldn't even get the sentence out before she bolted from the bathroom and down the hall, through our bedroom, and into the ensuite, where she curled herself up in the corner, bawling. Crap.

Spark Plug and The Destroyer didn't even realize we had a fish, even though they looked at him several times a day. And occasionally stuck their hands in the tank.

I took her into our bed and discussed the new home for Goldie. I told her that he is playing with all the other fishes and that he is much happier now that he has more friends to play with.

She asked me who came to take him to heaven.

I stared at her blankly. In my head I was picturing all these little Betta fish swimming in the big pond of heaven, frolicking about, laughing, all with the big Pearly gates behind them. And then thought that realistically they would all be playing a great game Russian Roulette in an attempt to win and become the sole inhabitant of Heaven's Great Lake.

I then pushed that thought out and envisioned cherubs, floral headpieces, and chubby legs.

I replied with, "The cute little angels."

Crap. What am I getting myself into?

She then asked, "Did they come into the house at night and carry him away? Did Grandma hear them come into the house in the night?"

I told her no and that it is kind of like when Santa comes in. It is magic. And I felt myself getting deeper and deeper into this religious/philosophical/fictional/exaggerated story as I tried to make it comprehensible for her.

Hubby then came to change the subject and encouraged her to start thinking about what else we could get to replace Goldie. We heard everything from lizards to spiders to mice to rabbits to another fish that would all take shelter in the bathroom. Where Goldie used to live.

If she had her way, I would become the keeper of the real life menagerie. Never mind the glass one. And then be up to my neck in animal dung.

We left her by asking her to take some time to think about what to get next. If that is what she wanted to do.

And then I forgot to remove the tank from the bathroom last night.

First thing this morning, EvieG was brushing her teeth and her eyes welled up. Crap, again. She asked to go to the pet store to get another fish today. All I said was sure. Here we go again. Round three. For us. Round two for her.

She doesn't know that the first Goldie kicked the bucket and was secretly replaced once before.

I know I am going to be struck by lightning soon.

Maybe this time she will get a bright red Betta fish and name him Noir.

All's I'm sayins all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Family, Guilt, Hubby

This coming weekend we Canadians are celebrating Thanksgiving. Yesterday Nenny with Twins went to her parent's house for weekend. Apparently she entered into what would be something similar to, Thanksgiving with the Griswold's, starring Chevy Chase.

Labels: DDM, Family, Fun, Nenny with Twins

We had a fantastic weekend away at my brother Paul's wedding, after escaping the crazy that was our Friday (see post below). He married a great girl named Nancy. We call them Uncle Paul and Aunt Nancy. How original, I know. Everything worked out well and EvieG was super cute as a flower girl. Spark Plug and The Destroyer stayed at home with my MIL which we are thankful for, otherwise it would have been chaos. Hubby had a great time with the boys and I with the girls. We got all gussied up.
There was quite a crowd. My brother lives and works in the financial industry in Toronto. There were a few people from that world there. He also has a deep relationship with our rural roots. Those from our hometown area represented the guest list well. Aunt Nancy is from the area we grew up in. They are often back north visiting and playing.

To put it bluntly- the parking lot occupied everything from Range Rovers, Porsche, Mercedes, Lexus, and BMW to every kind of Ford, GMC, and Dodge pick up truck ranging from 2 doors to 4 doors. We were part of the pick up crew. There were a few with mud splattered all over from off-roading and back road cruising. My brother's souped up lime green Mustang was the ride for the bride in groom to and from the wedding site. Here is a picture of the groomsmen taking a pretend leak on my brother's baby... if they tried that for real, they would be splattered with mud themselves. It was more than enough to tie cans to the back of the car and tape on a Just Married sign for after the service. The rule was no tape allowed on the paint. It is the most expensive Mustang in history, I think.
I am surprised they even had their feet up on the bumper.

The original plan was for the boys to go golfing before the wedding. But staying true to his roots, Uncle Paul took his boys skeet shooting in the Back 40 over a pond. They sent the clay pigeons into the sky and shot them. With rifles. This was a first for some of the guys who have barely been out of the city. They all had a blast, but I am surprised they all came out alive. Hubby said at one point towards the end, when they all became cocky and confident, he backed away to the shed in fear that he might accidentally get in the line of fire, as 6 guns were all shooting at one poor clay pigeon all at once.
That just looks scary.

The girls spent the day pampering. Aunt Nancy treated us to a new hair-do and make up. It was something this DDM never does. We were all able to pick our own dress as birdesmaids. The only factor was that it had to be black. I found a vintage dress in Toronto with Auntie Missy. I love vintage. I even wore an emerald necklace and earrings of my grandmother's from the 1930's. I had my hair down and dramatic make up- fake lashes and the whole bit. Here is a picture of Uncle Jeff and I.
EvieG had an adorable dress and a cape that my MIL made for her. She had a basket of leaves that she spread down before Aunt Nancy came down the aisle. She did a super job and was so excited about being a part of the whole deal. She held out well and even stayed up later than usual. We did hire a babysitter for a few hours, but Hubby and I were impressed by her staying power.

The ceremony went well and was beautiful. It was at the top of a valley overlooking a hillside of fall colours. The guests sat on hay bales which was perfect for the setting.

The reception was fun and the speeches were hilarious. There was dancing. Serious dancing. It takes a little alcohol and usually some Madonna to get me going. But I was out in fine form blowing everyone away with my well choreographed moves. I pulled out everything from the sprinkler to lawn mower to the curler (I swept and the MC threw the rock) to the grocery cart (putting the food in the cart). Hubby was proud and not at all embarassed as he shook his head at me from the side of the dance floor. I should be on tour with someone huge for sure.

The bride and groom ended dinner with very moving words. They are very much in love.
We wish them well as they start their new life together. They make a lovely couple and will take good care of one another.

I just hope Aunt Nancy is okay with having me as a sister-in-law. She just won't ever want to dance with me out in public. I'll just give her a few cocktails first and then we can cut some serious rug. I hope we do.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Family, Fun, Hubby

The Destroyer is doing her best to talk. And she babbles all day long. You can get the gist of what she is saying, but there is one word. One word for everything. Yes. The word is yes. Only it is pronounced, Y-E-TH-s. She enunciates quite well too.

We have come to know EvieG a little better with this new talking business. It has become EvieG's favourite pastime to ask The Destroyer lots of questions. Questions she already knows the answers to. And she plans her questioning.

E: Is EvieG the best kid in the whole wide world?

TheD: Y-e-th-s.

E: Is EvieG the smartest kid in the whole wide world?

TheD: Y-e-th-s.

E: Do you like beer?

TheD: Y-e-th-s!

E: Do you like Kraft Dinner and pizza?

TheD: Y-e-th-s!

E: Do you like drinking?

TheD: Y-e-th-s!

E: Is EvieG the bestest kid in the whole world?

TheD: Y-eth-s!

Over and over again. And as each question was answered, loud laughter erupted around the table.

What's with the whole alcohol and processed food business?

I guess I know what her preferences are. And I guess I better stay on top of her future relationship with beer.

I also have to watch she doesn't manipulate future skirmishes with Spark Plug and get The Destroyer covering up for her.

Politics or law for EvieG?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: EvieG, Family, Fun, The Destroyer

We have so many dollies. Dolls that have all been given to us over the past five years. The one exception are my old Cabbage Patch dolls and my prized Baby Doll. They have recently resurfaced. With all of these dolls hanging around, each one getting its 15 seconds of fame as it becomes a favourite for a little while, there is always one that is favoured slightly more than the others. And it is the creepiest of the bunch.

Check out the collection of dolls that EvieG and I gathered up. I am overwhelmed by the sheer numbers.
And these are most of them. I know for a fact that some are MIA. These dollies have come from an assortment of family and friends and were given for various occasions. There was the odd Christmas gift, the so-I-hear-you-are-going-to-be-a-big-sister gift, the so-I-hear-you-have-a-new-baby-in-the-house gift, the all-3-girls-need-their-own-baby-and-we-have-to-be-fair-and-equal gift, and the we-got-back-from-vacation-and-brought-you-something gift. Oh, and the one that was picked up at a garage sale.

I am always amazed too at how most of the dolls are naked most of the time. We have a bag full of clothes to go on the dolls, but if I ever take the time to dress them all, it seems it is a matter of minutes before they are all undressed again. So I don't even bother. And the accessories that come with these dolls! Bottles, rattles, diapers, soothers, hats, shoes, and on and on. There are dolls that cry, dolls that suck, dolls that pee, mud-caked dolls, water-logged dolls, dolls that laugh, and dolls that grimace. They do! They scrunch their face. The ones that grimace and cry are the ones that scare the crap out of the Wee Ladies, not the crazy, psycho looking dolls.

I am surprised all of our limbs are intact because the one that was picked up at a garage sale is the bride of Chucky. I swear this doll has a demon soul, going just on looks only. My MIL found 'it' half stuck under the dogs playing billiards throw blanket,

thought 'it' would be a nice addition to the girly toy stockpile and brought her home to bleach the crap out of. Just to make sure the demon soul was cleansed and there was no mold left anywhere on her- a modern mom's version of voodoo.

The bride of Chucky is a feature favourite at our house. Or maybe it is that she is still possessed by the demon spirits and randomly moves herself to various locations within the house. I will find her on the stairs, on the couch, in the bathroom, in my bed, under the kitchen table, and hanging among the other stuffed creatures.
This doll is not at all appealing. She has a bald spot on the top of her head. It looks like a previous child owner took a pair of shearing scissors to its head. She is wearing a circa 1968 yellow polyester dress. She has her arms and legs, hands and feet all intact. But she will stare at you with her one good eye. She still wears her bloomers! A real, old fashioned bride! How scary is she?

Spark Plug loves taking the bride for sleepovers. I would think this doll would be the kind of doll that would give a kid nightmares. But she doesn't. Maybe she has Spark Plug possessed...it all comes together! Now I know why Spark Plug is the way she is sometimes! She is a demon child! It all makes sense now! She is connected to the bride! The bride has gotten to her! Call in the exorcist!

When I think back to my most prized doll, I think of something similar to the bride. She had a similar face, but was pink and more compact. She did have the scissors taken to her hair because Uncle Jeff convinced me that it would grow back. After the haircut, our gerbil, Clark Kent, got out of his cage, found his way to my Baby Doll and ate her fingers off. So now the Wee Ladies have the bride of Chucky and the seed of Chucky to play with. Balding, stubby fingers, and a whole lot of spirit.

It just goes to show that you could go out and spend a fortune on Corolle dolls or American Girl dolls, but when in reality, they always prefer the scary looking, old school dolls that were picked up at the neighbour's garage sale for a dime.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Congratulations to Sandra! She has won the free spot to the Girl's Night Out evening this Thursday night at Stargazers Restaurant! Thanks so much to everyone who submitted their name. We are going to have a good turn out and it will be a lot of fun!

Labels: Family, Fun, Spark Plug

All little girls look up to their moms. They want to look like their moms and act like their moms. The pick up on every tone, gesture, and mannerism. I see this in the Wee Ladies sometimes. And there are times when I forget how much of an influence we have on their development. There are also times when I have to be careful of what and how I say it. We moms are constantly being sized up.

I am not one to get up extra early to do hair and make up. If I get my teeth brushed, well then everyone is better off. I dress in casual clothes and t-shirts most of the time. I am not a slob, but I do not feel the need to make myself look good, whatever that means. I classify myself as being pretty natural. I do occasionally get my hair coloured and trimmed. My overall appearance is not a priority. I'm just me.

The girls are also pretty casual. EvieG is going through a dress phase right now. That's fine with me. I do know for a fact that her preference for dresses does not come from me. Spark Plug also loves dresses. She also has an affection for accessories. This also does not come from me. The Destroyer is happy wearing nothing but her beaded necklaces.

So how do I influence the Wee Ladies? Spark Plug needs to have her sunglasses when we go out. She wears them in the car and then likes to put them up on her head when we are inside a store. Just like mom.

I hear the Wee Ladies talk to the dog like I do. They copy my low, gruff, listen-to-me-now voice and even pet him the same way I do.

I have reality checks. Those moments when I stop and realize that every intonation I use is heard and absorbed. Every word, phrase, and conversation is observed and recorded. I know this because there are times when they get snippy with me or with each other and they respond exactly the same way I do when my patience is running thin. EvieG will say to Spark Plug, "You are not listening to me! Now go and sit on the step!" I immediately talk to EvieG about my job as the mom and her job as the sister. It is not her job to discipline her sister. These moments always remind me that everything I do affects them.

I was not born with double D's. In fact it is fair to say that I barely made it out of the A category in the breast department. But to my 5 year old, I am Dolly Parton. One day out of the blue EvieG looked up at me with a look of sheer envy and asked, "Mom, when do I get to have big boobies just like you?" I smiled, puffed my chest out a little bit more to accentuate my small, round bosoms, and responded with, "When you are bigger bigger. You have lots of time before you have to worry about that." Like a peacock showing off its stuff, I for a split instant thought, Wow! Someone in this world thinks I have big boobs! Well, I never! Everything in the mind of child is perceived to be much larger than reality. But it was nice for that moment. I wonder if she will want to be just like me and stuff Kleenex into her training bra?

I want to be a positive role model for them. I want them to learn that they can feel good about themselves without having all the clothes, make up, and accessories. That they can be naturally beautiful. I want them to believe that being pretty doesn't mean wearing tight clothes and applying so much make up you need a putty knife to take it off. And maybe because we don't make that stuff a priority, they will grow and develop naturally too. We will see. I will let them express themselves however they need to, but within reason. It is definitely important to experiment and try on some different looks to find the one that fits. I look forward to watching them search for who they want to become.

These years are fun. We have not entered the I want this and that stage. I do not want to battle it out with them as they get older, but I know that there will be a little of that as we go. I will gladly hang on to this stage for a while longer.

Maybe they will start copying Hubby too. Oh, they already do. They blame the dog for everything. Stenches included.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Responsibility

It only took a good friend of mine to tell me that Spark Plug's front teeth are looking a bit 'buckish'. Great. My lazy delay in losing the soother is giving my kid bucked teeth. My slacker ways are proving to be detrimental to my child's skeletal structure. We decided to kick this vice. All of us. We have now entered soother rehab.

We decided to move some beds around. Spark Plug and EvieG were sharing a room, but not sleeping well. The Destroyer goes to bed pretty early. In order for everyone to get more improved sleep, we made the switch. This way, The Destroyer goes to bed before the others and by the time Spark Plug and EvieG turn in, The Destroyer has gone to dreamland. EvieG has no one to play with and Spark Plug has some peace and quiet. Maybe it will help Spark Plug with her whining issues.

And so this was a perfect time to ditch the soother! The strategy was when Spark Plug moves into her own 'big girl' room, she won't need the soother any more! It was an instant decision. Ditch the soother when we switch the sleeping arrangements. Make a change all at once.

Now it was time for the visit from the Soo Soo Fairy. My friend told us about when the fairy came to their house. They hung the soothers from a tree and when the next morning rolled around the soothers were gone and there were little presents in the tree! How exciting! The kids were told that the Soo Soo Fairy takes the soothers to give them to other little babies who need them. So the kids doing some good by donating generously, but they also get rewarded for their kind deed. A win win.

But if you know Spark Plug, you know for sure that she would not for one second have anyone take her soothers and hang them on a tree, for crying out loud. She would just be like, What the hell do you think you are doing with those? Who on earth told you that it would be a good idea to hang my soothers in a tree? Are you people losing your minds? And then she would hoot and holler as she'd jump up to rip off any hanging soothers in order to save them from the elements and the squirrels. She would take her stash and bury them so only she would know their whereabouts. Hanging them from a tree would be enough to send her into the loony bin.

We know our girl well. We were smart. We decided not to hang them from a tree. Instead we explained to her using a fairy book and pictures of babies, that the fairy was coming to take them to give them away to the babies who need them, and that she won't be needing those any more. Her reaction? She was cool. She was down with that. And she only asked for a soother a couple of times.

To take the soother from Spark Plug meant taking it from The Destroyer too. If we don't take it from both, they would just end up stealing each others. So now 2 Wee Ladies are suffering withdrawal. And what about EvieG? How would she be recognized? Would she get any presents? Or would she be left out because she doesn't use a soother?

As a good biggest sister, EvieG set out the dish of soothers on the patio table after the others went to bed. We discussed her role of 'Soo Soo Patrol'. I know for a fact that we didn't have all the soothers in the dish. So as a Soo Soo Patroller, she would find any remaining soothers, give them to me, and then place them out for the fairy to pick up during one of her fly-bys.

The beds were moved, the Wee Ladies slept, and they even slept in for once. Good move on the switch. There was no real fuss made about wanting a soother, thank goodness. When EvieG woke up, she saw a pile of gifts outside the bedroom doors. One pile for The Destroyer and one for Spark Plug. She was slightly hurt and disappointed, but not completely distraught. She said, "I guess the Soo Soo Fairy forgot that there are three of us." I reassured her by telling her that maybe there is something lying around for her, and she just hasn't found it yet. That perked her up a bit.

She entered the kitchen to find a nice bag of goodies and a note for her. The note read:

Dear EvieG:

You are such a great big sister!
If you find any more soo soos, just leave them out for me. I will fly by and get them.
Thanks for your help!
Love, The Soo Soo Fairy xxxooo

She was over the moon. Now she has embraced her job as Soo Soo Patroller.

And she found one in The Destroyer's mouth this morning. Crap.

How did that get in there? I guess at midnight last night, the Soo Soo Fairy couldn't take the crying and had a relapse.

I took it and thanked her for doing a diligent job. I hid it away in an accessible location so Spark Plug will never see it.

Some vices are harder to get rid of than others.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, DDM, EvieG, Family, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

Living with three Wee Ladies is life on a thrill ride. All the time. Who needs roller coasters when you've got three built right in?

There are five very strong personalities under one roof. When we are trying to discipline or set the rules, the Wee Ladies sometimes resist in protest. They don't always like what the United Front has to say. And so sometimes the strong personalities come at each other like disgruntled rams, but instead of the smacking and locking of the horns, a battle erupts in an attempt to win the last word.

The need for the last word is like a dog marking its territory. The desire to be heard and recognized, acknowledged and respected. And even at 5, 2, and 1, the Wee Ladies will strike back like a venomous snake with wanting the last word, even if it isn't a last 'word' per se. It could be a grunt, and squeal, a scream, a stomp of the foot, or clenching of the fists.

I am in control, but as we stare down one another in silence, all of a sudden the fist clenches and I get a squeal shouted at me. It happens in mere milliseconds too. I don't think I am always going to get lashed at. I am like the prey and the Wee Ladies like the predator. They lead me to believe that they will back down, run away, and leave me alone. When in reality, the unassuming facade changes colour and direction as I am confronted with the last word.

How often do they win the battle of the last word? Sometimes they do. We pick our battles. I will turn my back, walk away, and ignore. There are times when the Wee Ladies need to let it all hang out. We all need to vent and rant every now and then. By all means, go nuts. There are other times when I will not back down. I will get the last word. Even if it means displacing them to a crib, step, or playpen, so they can reaffirm their commitment to this house and their siblings. And their Mom.

I have size on my side.

Where does this desire for the last word stem from? I have to say that strong personalities exist on both sides of the family. My dad was strong and ran his own business. He had the last word all the time. My Mom has her views and opinions on things as well. My brothers are both really out for the last word, and in my typical middle child way, I am often a mediator. Which ultimately gives me the last word as I combine views and perspectives to bring everyone together. Like how I pulled that one together?

Hubby's side is hilarious when it comes to the last word. I love watching them sit around in discussion. It starts out okay, but the winds and words pick up until they are at hurricane gale force levels. The words start flailing about like rag dolls being thrown down the stairs, until finally the words have lost all meaning and the discussion makes no sense. Because it is all about getting the last word, even if it means that the point was left behind in the last town.

Hubby and I have had some good last word matches ourselves. It is like the hand pile game. I put my hand on yours, yours on mine, and so on, until one of us finally throws in the towel and gives up. Our discussions will often end with, "So who gets the last word this time?" I will say, "Is it me this week? Well then, I know you are, but what am I?"

We have realized that we will win some and lose some with the Wee Ladies. Spark Plug stands proud and firm all the time in search for the last word. She usually shouts, "NO!" a million times a day. Sometimes after the NO! is a giggle telling me that she knows it's all about the last word. With EvieG it is most often, "But why?" or "How come?" even after a decision has been made. The Destroyer just grunts at me and flexes her thigh muscles.

Unlike Jack and Victor from The Young and the Restless, we don't have any contracts dictating who gets the last word in the scene. We just have to go with the flow and accept the fact that we will win some and lose some. We are not always right and we have to consider other people's feelings, views, and perspectives.

But it feels damn good to get the last word, doesn't it?

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Tomorrow morning I have my interview with Readers Digest.ca!! I will keep you posted!

Labels: Battle, DDM, EvieG, Family, Hubby, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

I should probably take stock out in General Mills because the sales the company generates through me probably keeps them in business. We are a Cheerios household. And we have been for a few years now. I never really went for the Gerber toddler snacks, or any other snacky food made to avoid choking. Who needs it really, when all you need are the multitude of Cheerios flavours?

I spend my money and my time with Cheerios. We have Cheerios for breakfast and for snacks. We count with them and put them with milk. They are especially great when they are soggy. I am a Cheerios expert myself. I even know the term used when the last four or five individual Cheerios cling together for survival in the bowl. It's called Cheerio-Magnetization. That's right. Even if you swirl your spoon around the milky pond when there are only a few left, they always gravitate towards each other. Try it sometime. You will know exactly what I am talking about.

While regular Cheerios are low in sugar, provide 8 essential vitamins and nutrients, are cholesterol and trans fat free, and have no artificial colours and flavours, they are beyond irritating to clean up. That's because they are so small and their round shape allows them to fall into all nooks, crannies, and a wide variety of crevices. Not to be totally confused with the hit song Land Down Under by Men Without Hats, I go for the Cheerios down under. While paying tribute to a classic song, when we break out the box, we better be sure to run and take cover.

It was a Cheerios disaster in the kitchen after breakfast this morning. The little donuts were stuck in the booster seat, all soft and gooey, wedged in between the side of the seat and the seat itself. I would have to take the seat completely apart to get them out, but like a ripened fruit, I figure I'll just let them harden and wait for them to fall out on their own. It's more efficient this way because they are sticky little suckers too! They were splattered all across the floor under, on, and around the perimeter of the table. I didn't think I would have to do a major cleaning job because the dog would take care of the mess. Our Wee Westie Basil came in from his morning trip outside, sniffed what you would think is a dog's dream, and continued walking. He refuses to eat Cheerios anymore. That's a bad sign, I reckon. I had no choice but to bring out the vacuum. I had to take off the head of the vacuum and use just the metal handle part to avoid the Cheerios from embedding themselves in the bristles.

I find the little rascals everywhere throughout the house. In the play room/office, in the cutlery drawer, in the sink, under the cushions on the couch, under other pieces of furniture, on the floor upstairs and in my bed. That's right. Like the Princess and the Pea, I am the Dress Down Mom and the Cheerio. I have woken out of a dead sleep only to find myself lying on a Cheerio. I go down under to remove the covers to brush them from the bottom of the bed because my feet keep running into them. I have located them in various places in the van, in my cleavage, and I have even found them in my purse. I guess the Zip-Loc must have accidentally opened at some point. I am waiting for the day when my ear drums explode from the piercing cries of one of the Wee Ladies after they have lodged some wholesome goodness up their nostrils.

And so you ask, why do you let your kids wander around eating Cheerios? Well, they have a snack here and there. No big deal. They watch TV in our bed before lights out and eat their Cheerios and bananas. Sure a few get dumped here and there and it is annoying, but I cannot force a one year old and two year old to sit down properly at the table once they've entered the Overtired Zone.

They are a perfect snack for us. Although some might argue they are too high in sodium, I like to think they are an okay choice. I only buy the regular, Multi-Grain, and sometimes the Apple flavour. At least it is some variety.

Will we ever get past our Cheerios obsession? Probably not. I have been eating them my whole life. I remember hiding behind the chair with the box in our living room when I was five on a Saturday morning, avoiding my family and Saturday morning cartoons. That is a serious addiction. Missing The Smurfs for cereal.

Maybe Jerry Seinfeld and I should get together and chat about our favourite cereals. Over a bowl of cereal.

All's I"m sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Family, Fun

I have a spring in my step today. I have a big smile on my face, new freckles, and no bags under my eyes. I just came back from having the best weekend I have had in a long time up north with EvieG and very dear friends.

I have known this family for 20 years. Auntie Susie has lived in the UK for the past decade. She is home once a year, sometimes twice. And during her annual trip to Canada, we make sure we have a visit. We went to high school and some of university together. I spent Christmas with them and their extended family in England in 1993. Susie and I skied every winter for years and in 1991 we experienced a very challenging white water canoe trip in the Northwest Territories together. We share a love of the outdoors, among lots of other things, but when we get together, it is like we just saw each other yesterday. We pick up where we left off. She is a true and valued friend.

Her family is like a second family to me. My father passed away in 1996 of a massive heart attack and her family have always treated my like another daughter. Her dad is like a second dad to me. We also have lots in common and can chat about anything. They welcomed us with open arms and I felt like I was home.
We were well taken care of. Auntie Susie and her family were amazingly hospitable, as they always are. We ate well, drank well, and rested very well. We had ample time to catch up. They adored having EvieG there and got a kick out of her running around the property picking flowers, singing, and watching the wildlife.

I realized a few things about EvieG while we were away together. I realized that she is a great traveler. She keeps herself amused in the car. And she doesn't complain- at all. It was a 4 hour drive and on the way there we didn't stop once. She is like a camel. I asked her if she needed the bathroom, or a snack, to which she continually replied, no. She wanted to get there. When we did arrive she was so happy exploring. She was in her element.

On the way up, we talked about what it means to be a good house guest. We talked about abiding by the rules of the family. We talked about eating what you are given and how to behave if there is something you don't care for. We discussed bedtime routines. We went over using proper manners. I made sure she was clear that she acknowledge those who speak to her by asking and answering questions.

She is 5 so I wasn't sure how much of our conversation she absorbed. I was blown away. She was a wonderful house guest. She was well mannered and considerate. I was beaming I was so proud. She went to bed without a fuss. I did go to check on her only to see through the crack of the door that the curtains were open. When I peeked in, I saw her leaning on the window sill looking at the birds and chipmunks. I smiled and turned away in silence. I realized that she was very comfortable and her behaviour reflected that.

I also realized the importance of having one on one time. We have gone places before together, but for some reason this was different. We weren't on-the-go in the city. We were in a warm and spectacular setting. We reconnected away from the rest of the family. We bonded and shared a special time together. We played together and focused on each other. It was a trip we will both cherish.

It is easy to spend time with our kids. But this was real time. And it was quality time. She felt extra special. She really responded to this getaway and has been super even since we have been back home. It was much needed time away for us both and we got along on a level we never have before.

I am going to make more of a conscious effort to have these times where we can go and be together. I think we need that. I think she needs to have that mommy time too. I will also try to find time for the other Wee Ladies one on one too. I know that Spark Plug responds really well to having some alone time also. The Destroyer is so busy, I don't even think she really cares at this point.

And for me, well I feel rejuvenated. I feel more myself. We were able to hike, swim, and explore. We took time to breathe and we slowed the pace down. Because we could. And for that I thank Auntie Susie and her family. I thank them for taking care of us.

It is so important to make sure we don't become disconnected with ourselves and our families. And that is what I was feeling. I was feeling like I was going through the motions everyday, but not to the level I should be. I was tired. I needed a quiet getaway without 3 Wee Ladies running circles around me. I needed out of the house. I needed to let myself unwind.

We were away last week in the north, but it was not relaxing in the least. There was a constant buzzing of action. And you know that you only have a week to get in as much as you can, so it is hard to to take it down and unwind.

This trip reinforces what I truly believe. If a mom cannot get what she needs and if she cannot be good to herself by allowing herself time to breathe, then everyone becomes strained. We were all becoming strained. Because I was strained.

This is all it took for me to regroup. I needed to be taken care of for a little bit. Taken care of in a way that allowed me to pull it together. To rest, to relax, and to focus completely on who and what was around me. Time to devote to EvieG. This will keep me going for a long while.

Until I feel I am becoming strained again. And I know that I have a place to go to decompress.

It was all I needed. I feel so much better.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Family

Solve the problem. Show your work. Marked out of 10.

DDM went away to the north and spent a week with her family playing in the rugged bush. They swam and ate and swam and ate and ate some more. There was virtually nothing healthy that entered the body of DDM. The family is now on a Timbit strike. If DDM left her house weighing 137 lbs and returned weighing 142 lbs, how much weight did DDM put onto her ass? Don't forget to show your work.

142 lbs - 137 lbs = 5 lbs

DDM added 5 lbs to her ass. And probably some to her thighs. And her chin likely started bulging a little.

There you have it. 2 marks for every pound. 10 out of 10 on answering that one!!

We're back. We're alive and intact. We're tired. It's a good tired though. Chasing three Wee Ladies in the woods for a week should make anyone tired (although my ass would tell you otherwise). Especially when you have to follow them around making sure that they don't crack their heads on the concrete steps leading to the lake. I am glad we went and I know the Wee Ladies had a blast. But I need a vacation from our vacation.

We were on-the-go from the second we arrived until the second we left. The Wee Ladies ran around, picked wild blueberries, swam, fished, went for boat rides, tubed, and slept a little. Actually, when they went to sleep, they slept well. They got a little off schedule though.

My MIL came too, which was amazing because she helped out with the kids, meals, and laundry. She stayed in town with her Mom, Hubby's Grandma. We went into town every morning to fetch coffee for everyone. After a run around Grandma's, we went back to the cabin on the lake to play some more. And every morning around 10:30, the 2 younger Wee Ladies would fall asleep in the van. We would get back to the lake and let them sleep. In the van with the door open. That way they had their naps early and then could tough it out the rest of the day. More importantly, they were in bed at a normal, decent hour, so that Hubby and I could hang out, drink, swim, and watch the sunset. It was perfect timing.
There is something to be said about traveling with little kids. There is not much break for the adults. There is not much down time. Taking the kids out of their familiar lives and routines, throwing them in a car for 12 hours, and tossing them into a new place for several days is enough to get anyone out of sorts. They were wired, cranky, tired, and irritable off and on for the first couple of days until they got used to their new surroundings. And I may have been too. A little bit.

This is why I ask for a vacation from the vacation. Although it is time away and it is a fun time, I can't help but yearn for a trip where I can lay and sleep, read and relax. But even then, if I went on a relaxing trip, I would probably just miss the Wee Ladies too much and want to come home. I can miss them from my beach side lounge chair.

This year was the hardest for sure as far as following every move of the Wee Ladies. By next year, they will be able to follow directions and move more freely. It was an experience we will always remember and I am glad we got into the bush for a little while to breathe in the fresh air.

And now it is unpacking that I am dealing with. I left Hubby in Toronto yesterday (he's on business for three days) and my MIL unpacked the van while I got basic groceries. She left and I suddenly felt overwhelmed. Overtired, hungry children, dinner to get, crap to put away, laundry to do.....

It's almost easier to stay home. Almost.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, EvieG, Family, Fun, Spark Plug, The Destroyer

I have been frantically running around today. We are washing, packing, organizing, freaking, bitching, laughing, and trying to keep the Wee Ladies under control. As we prepare to drive up north, I am one moody mom. I can say I am a borderline lunatic right now.

We are leaving at an ungodly hour tomorrow morning. At around 4:30 am to avoid long weekend traffic through Toronto. And we want to throw the Wee Ladies in the Guzzler so they can continue sleeping....ask me how that goes later. Then we will stop mid-morning for some serious running for a couple hours followed by the last stretch of the trip. We should arrive at the cabin around dinner time. It will be a long day, but we are so ready for a break.

EvieG packed her bag. Take a look at this....

Labels: Announcements, Chores, DDM, EvieG, Family

Spark Plug has a new nickname. The Flying Squirrel. She is obsessed with leaping all super hero like between furniture. What's way more fun for her is doing the Flying Squirrel onto her mother and father. And EvieG has fallen victim to this too.

Spark Plug usually gets tired and cranky around 7:00 pm. She needs to 'regroup' as Hubby and I say. We bath the Wee Ladies and get them ready for bed. We cuddle in our bed and watch some TV. Then around 7:30 pm, she gets her second wind.

Every evening our bed turns into a night at the WWE. The Wee Ladies jump, pummel, pile drive, and squash each other and their parents. Sometimes we are active participants and Hubby throws them and flips them into the pillows. They get back up for more shouting, "Again, again!"

As I lay and try to cuddle with them, Spark Plug prances circles around the bed. And then she looks at me with devious eyes, throws her arms back and lunges forward. Like a flying squirrel her arms are out in front of her, her hair flattened against the wind, and her cheeks full from laughing, as she belly flops onto my stomach. It is a full wrestling move that Rowdy Roddy Piper would be proud of. And one that has been used in wrestling for decades.

She does the Flying Squirrel on me repeatedly until she has me pinned underneath her. We count, "One, two, three, four! Match over!" I have lost to my 2 year old.

In the re-match, I pull out my moves. I trip her by the ankles, pin her down and give her Zerburts on her tummy until she can't take it any more. I also give her Charlie Horses all over her legs while yelling, "Say uncle! Say uncle!" Finally, it takes all of her toddler power to mumble, "Uncle!" through her laughing fit as she is trying to catch her breath, at which time I stop. I then calm her down with an eye kiss, where I blink on her cheek.

Hubby is not always a fan of our family WWE matches. Especially if he falls victim to the Flying Squirrel. Most often, it is too late for him to maneuver his way out of the pummeling. All he sees is Spark Plug in mid-air, heading towards him without warning.....and then......OOOOWWWWWCCCCHHHH! Right in the man-bits. Square on. I feel for him. I obviously can't identify with this level of pain. I am sure it hurts. So he rolls over onto his side and I laughingly holler, "One, two, three, four! Match over!" He eventually comes around. During this healing time, Spark Plug has already moved on, and is back to flattening her mother.

Hubby also gets his chest hair pulled out by the handful. After he is jumped on, they seem to grab a fistful as they try to get themselves up and ready for another round. So along with his injured man-bits, he gets a chest wax at the same time.

This evening ritual is something we look forward to. We laugh so hard at the Wee Ladies as they get physical. Their eyes light up, they giggle, and they get tough. And they always come back for more.

And I always encourage the Flying Squirrel. Hubby just needs to be prepared.

We love this time with them. Injured and bruised bits and all.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Fun, Hubby, Spark Plug

Watching the Wee Ladies make their own fun is priceless. I love that they are using their imaginations more and more. As the days go on, they play with each other more and are amusing themselves through creativity, but not without the occasional squabble.

I was howling today as Spark Plug spent about 15 minutes making a slide out of the couch cushions. She took them off the couch, laid one against the foot stool and slammed her body into it as high as she could go so she could slide down it. And laughing the whole time.

EvieG has been busy since 8:00 this morning. I am not kidding. She was up and out of bed before me. She got herself dressed and made her own breakfast. I asked, "What are you doing?" And she replied very matter-of-factly, "I am getting all ready to do my work." "What work?" I asked. As she was on her way down the stairs she firmly stated, "My princess poster, Mom." Oh, all right then....

It is 2:00 in the afternoon and the only break she has taken is for lunch. She has been diligently at work for about 5 hours now. And check out her masterpiece. This thing is like 2 feet by 3 feet.
This is something she received for her birthday. I am telling you....arts and crafts supplies are the best when looking for a way to keep them creatively entertained. This was something she needed to keep to herself though. No one was allowed to come remotely close with a colouring tool, or I heard about it, along with the rest of the neighbourhood.

The Wee Ladies are a lot more physical with each other now. They happily pummel one another regularly, sit on each other, ride on each other's backs like a horse, and hold hands. And when they don't feel like participating in the WWE sessions, they push away and directly inform their sisters that they are not in the mood. Even at 14 months, The Destroyer can hold her own.

Their interactive play is not always pleasant. There is sometimes a lot of squealing and pushing. But the fact that they are playing together and can make their own fun is what we like to see. We want them to learn to explore together, discuss things together, and question things together. We want them to communicate well with each other. I think it will only bring them closer as they get older. If they disagree, and they have many times already, then we mediate the fury. But we never let them walk away angry or go to bed without an "I'm sorry." That will only fuel the stubborn fire. Hubby and I have agreed that we will try and make sure that all riffs and spats will be sorted before too much time passes.

I think girls naturally have a hard time communicating and can hold grudges like nobody's business. We want to teach our Wee Ladies the importance of consistent and fair communication. We'll see how it all plays out. And we will deal with them one squabble at a time. Even if it's over the bucket of worms in the backyard. It all matters.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, Family, Responsibility

We had perfect weather for EvieG's 5th birthday party yesterday. It was our second attempt at the Wet 'N Wild Birthday Extravaganza. Last year we had overcast and weren't able to maximize our water fun time. This year it was all about the water fun.

We had several of Evie's closest friends here, along with their parents. We all sat in the backyard and the kids played with all sorts of water paraphernalia. We had the wading pool, the water balloons, the over sized beach ball that sprays water, the water rocket from Uncle Jeff, and Midget Bowling. Oh, and bubbles too.

The water rocket was a huge hit. The rocket sits upon its stand. Water spurts out in a strong stream forcing the rocket into the air. It hovers on the water stream and sprays all below. It's really cool. The other popular water area was Midget Bowling. This is a version of the Slip 'n Slide. There is the long smooth lane where the kids slide down into the pool of water at the end. They must try and knock down the flag at the end. We call it Midget Bowling because we often toss the kids (bowling ball, or midget) down so they run over the flag (the pin). It can be quite a thrilling game, with many twists and turns.

So the kids played and played. And we socialized and had a few cocktails.

EvieG loved having everyone here. And she was quite the hostess. She publicly thanked everyone for coming, which I was proud of. But she was a true hostess in that she had to change outfits about four times. I'm not kidding. She welcomed her friends in her bathing suit, of course. For the presents, pizza dinner, cake, and public thank you, she had to wear her special 'party' dress. This is a white sundress from Hubby. After that part of the program came to completion, she quietly disappeared and came out in her bathing suit for round two of water fun. Once she was done with that, she exited inconspicuously once again, reemerging a few minutes later in her pajamas and was holding her nighttime book. Was that a hint for her guests to hit the road? I'm not sure. With blood shot eyes from the chlorine, she looked at me and said, "Who's going to read me my bed time story?" Party animal, she clearly is not. We were laughing at all of her costume changes. I said it was like a Hollywood awards ceremony, like the Oscars. She had an outfit for the red carpet, an outfit for her speech, and an after-party outfit. She's just like Beyonce.

I have to say, I personally prepared in a way that was as 'Martha' as I will ever get. Check out this cake I made.
Yep, it is a chocolate cake in the shape of an ice cream cone. How crafty is that? I had every intention of pulling a full 'Martha' and making it from scratch, along with the icing. I made the cake Saturday night. But I was so tired I left it in the pan. Yesterday morning I went to put it on the serving plate and it came out in 3 separate chunks. Crap.

I went to the store and bought cake-in-a-box. It came out perfect. I did make the icing from scratch though. Just a crapload of butter and sugar, nothing else. Oh, wait. Whipping cream and a touch of vanilla. Heart attack by the spoonful. Sooooo goooood.

It worked out and I made cake cones for the kids, which they loved. Those were the cake from scratch because that was part of the first cake-making attempt.

Hubby cooked and we ordered pizza. The beverages and snacks were abundant. It was my kind of birthday party. None of this hiring a petting zoo, clown, rare animals owner, or whatever some people choose to do. It didn't take me a month to prepare. There was no cut and paste involved. Just the cake and balloons. At our house, you can always find a good old fashioned birthday party that is not too over the top.

Next year I think I will make the cake and put coins in it, just like we had when we were growing up. If I put in loonies and toonies, surely no one will choke on them, right?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family

Taking 3 Wee Ladies out anywhere is a risk. Taking them all to the library? Well, not so smart. I don't know why I thought that this would be a good 'outing.' The stress I just voluntarily walked myself into is like seeing the police speed trap ahead, only realizing that it is too late to slow down. The stress of the ticket and fine could have been avoided. Just like the trip to the library could have been avoided.

I knew the risk involved possible chaos. The library is a place of silence, order, and books. It is also a public place. I had potential disaster on multiple fronts. But I had rationale.

EvieG is independent enough to take care of herself. Spark Plug can follow simple directions. And I could hold The Destroyer. It would work out just fine. I didn't think we would 100% glitch-free, but I thought we could stay long enough to pick books and maybe do a craft without being tossed out onto the street by Security. We stayed for about 14 minutes (I know this based on my parking meter calculations). And we were one-hand-on-the-scruff-of-the-neck away from meeting the sidewalk.

The reason for this trip was because EvieG wanted to get her own library card. I am glad to see Arthur teaches something substantial. I thought, 'Wow! She is asking for her own card! Good for her!' I was all over it, like the good Personal Assistant that I am. She also has this deep fear of skunks. And really for no reason. It came out of nowhere. So I thought we would make her feel better by getting some non-fiction books about skunks in order for her to learn more about them. I strapped the Wee Ladies in The Guzzler and off we went.

We entered the library very well. We were quiet and stayed together. Once we entered the Kid's Room, the demons were unleashed. EvieG requested her card. The librarian looked at me and said, "Do you have a license or some ID?" She looked at my face whose expression read, 'Lady, are you nuts? Look at me! My bicep is already screaming because I am holding this lug-of-a-kid, I am trying to keep track of the toddler who is playing with the scissors at the craft table, and my 5 year old has proceeded to pick out an assortment of reading material to check out using HER NEW CARD! Do I look like a woman who has the third arm to carry her friggin' ID? Huh? DO I?' And then she rephrased, "Do you have your library card?" To which I said, "Yes, I do. And all of the information on there is the same." Poof! EvieG's library card was ready.

I put The Destroyer down because my bicep couldn't take any more. It had started spasming. Immediately she started running up and down the aisles of books, laughing and squealing, occasionally stopping to toss a few on the floor. As I was chasing her, Spark Plug decided to get in on this chase game and was running around too, making just as much noise. EvieG had sat herself at the craft table and began to colour. As I ran by, I asked her if she had asked the librarian for books on skunks. She and the librarian went to get her books.

Upon her return to the craft table another mom and her daughter had seated themselves. And in the chair EvieG had been sitting in. She went up to them and said, "Hey, that's my seat!" Time stopped right there. My eyes widened. My jaw dropped. My kid polite, easy going, 5 year old was lipping off to some nice mom and her cute little daughter. Oh my god. I said, "That's ok. You were off getting books and they can sit there if they want". She replied with, "But I was sitting there!" To which the mom said, "That's all right. We can move!" I jumped in with, "No, no, no. She can find another seat." The mom was adamant. "No, we will move over here." And they moved to the other side of the table. I pulled EvieG aside and tactfully scolded her. I hissed, "You apologize for being rude. You never speak to people like that! This is not your chair. It belongs to the library and you left it to go and find books." She felt badly. She then pleaded, "No! I don't want to say anything because I'm shy!" I told her, "You go and say sorry for being rude." So she did. And the mom thanked her. She was probably thinking, 'What a lippy, little girl!' That was what I was thinking and I'm her mother.

Spark Plug was playing with a puzzle. I found The Destroyer taking the DVD's off the rack. I scooped her up and noticed the stench coming from her bottom region. No diaper bag. Nothing extra. That was it. I had had enough and told EvieG to check out her books. We were done there. Time to go. I couldn't take anymore.

I swiped the craft from the craft table so we could do it at home. I gathered up the troops and exited the building quickly. Before Security could get a hold of me. I got them into the The Guzzler and let a sigh of relief. I saw there were 16 minutes left on the parking meter. I thought to myself, 'Well, we just reached our library quota for the month. That was 14 minutes too long.'

With the Wee Ladies, the library was temporarily altered. The silence was screeched out of the water. The order became messy. The books were pulled from the shelves and placed randomly throughout the room. And the public were there to witness this alteration.

I wonder what would happen if I took them somewhere like Home Depot? Would they try and play with the power tools? Would they play house in the mock-up kitchens? Would they get up on the counter and try to brush their teeth in the sink? Would they try and use the toilets? Should I dare?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, DDM, Family

I have never canned anything in my life. I just eat the preserves of my Mom and MIL. This year, I decided to do something myself. We are strawberry freaks, so I decided I would make my first batch of strawberry jam.

I took the Wee Ladies to the strawberry patch. Luckily for me, a friend of mine came along with her daughters. This meant more eyes on the Wee Ladies. We got there, grabbed our baskets and went to work.

The girls picked randomly along the rows. I was slow and precise. My girlfriend is a strawberry picking machine. She was half a row ahead of me at all times. EvieG was also precise and when she brought me her basket, I noticed she had already picked off all the green stems. She presented them to me like they should have been on a plate with chocolate sauce dabbled across them. Cut and prepared. Ready to serve. Spark Plug spent most of the time trampling over the plants, picking berries, and then placing them in her basket only to remove them to her mouth. She left with an empty basket and a full tummy. The Destroyer picked up the mushed berries from in between the rows and ate them. She left with dirty fingers, a dirty face, a full tummy, and a possible illness. She came out unscathed.
We took them home and I put the flat on the counter. I stared at it for a day, deciding if in fact I was really going to tackle this whole jam-thing. I went out and bought the jars. I then needed the Pectin crystals. I was looking at the options. There was the regular Certo, the Certo Light, and the new No Sugar Needed Certo. Hmmmmmm......The regular is like spreading several cavities on your toast. The light is, well, a couple of cavities, and the no sugar version is a little added unsweetened apple juice. That was probably the best choice for the kids. The healthiest choice by far.
I got up Saturday morning all hell-bent on making the best batch of jam ever. Better than Grandma's. And I had this new, healthy way of doing it too. No extra sugar needed. Jam's best kept secret that no on knew about, except me.

I washed the berries and took the stems off. I heated the jars and lids. I squashed the berries and measured them according to the recipe. I added the juice and the crystals. I cooked them for 3 minutes and stirred until all was dissolved. I ladled the jam into the jars and sealed them. I labeled the lids and waited for them to 'pop' to tell me I was better than Grandma. I proudly displayed the jars full of healthy red goodness for all to see. I let it sit and settle for 24 hours.
During this process I had to deal with 2 hungry crying babies. I had to prepare lunch, stir, and ladle all at the same time. I was a stressed out, multi-tasking monster. There was jam everywhere, jars everywhere, and snot everywhere. And my whispies were fully flying.

What I forgot to do in this jam session was the most important, vital thing that all Grandma's do when cooking. Taste the stuff. I missed this part. But at least I followed the recipe to a tee. That is one thing I never do. But I did this time.

Sunday morning rolls in and I, proud mom, 'pops' open my first jar of strawberry jam ever. Hubby was there for my inauguration into the "Mommy Who Can Can" club. I put in my teaspoon and all cocky like, scooped out a heaping mouthful, opened my mouth and....."Oh, my god. That's......not good.....oh, man, that...is...in...need....of...some...major....SUGAR." I was so devastated. Hubby took a bite and said, "Ummmmm, that's.....pretty bad. You know, we aren't diabetic. We don't need the no sugar version. You should have just made the real stuff. Like Grandma." CRAP! Ya, like Grandma.

I composed myself, tasted it again, and added several teaspoons of sugar. Ahhhhh, that was better.

My ego was popped along with the lids on the jam jars. I thought I had moved up the crafty mommy chain by making some real homemade jam, on-the-stove-from-scratch. Just like Grandma. But I totally botched it. Like my $12.80 in strawberries, I was crushed.

So my diabetic Father-in-Law is now a proud new owner of 8 jars of unsweetened strawberry jam.
There was no reason AT ALL to divert from Grandma's way. There is something to be said about the classic baked goods we grew up with. It is real. It is pure. There was none of this no sugar bulls#*t. Why did I think I had to get all on my high horse thinking that my kids would be any healthier because they had a teaspoon of no-friggin-sugar-strawberry-jam on their toast? Whatever, I say to myself. I should have put in the darn sugar and done it right the first time. Don't chince on the good stuff. I make my cookies from scratch and I always use real butter, sugar, and chocolate. As some guy on the Food Network said, "Make it like Grandma's."
So I will. I went out to the strawberry patch yesterday. Instead of picking them myself, I bought the flat this time. I paid more, but it was worth avoiding the gigantic headache of monitoring the Wee Ladies in the field. I am going to do it right this time. With some sugar..and maybe a couple extra teaspoons just to make it extra sweet. The above picture is what I used the first time around. Under it is what I should have used the first time around.
It's like I'm all 17 again rebelling against Grandma. Trying to prove that my way was the best way. Only to learn that I was wrong again. As I have heard a million times, "You should always listen to your mother." I'm 33 and it still hasn't sunk in.

Will the Wee Ladies do the same thing to me?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, DDM, Family, Hubby

A friend of mine e-mailed to see about getting EvieG and her son together for a play date. These 2 kids have known each other since infancy. They swam together, went to the same preschool, and are now in the same Kindergarten class. The best part is that they live right down the street. So we coordinate getting the kids together. Just like we coordinate everything else in the childrens' lives. She signed off her e-mail as her son's Personal Assistant. I laughed out loud. We moms are indeed Personal Assistants. This is not a bad thing.

Other names could be Gofer, Social Coordinator, Event Planner, and Right-Hand Woman. We as moms have the "responsibility, knowledge, understanding, authority, and ability to implement a plan articulated by one in a position of authority"- the child being the one in the position of authority and we, the mom, have the power to design and execute the plan. Therefore, WE are the ones who are ultimately in the position of authority. We are in charge of their schedules. Personal Assistants have tremendous power.

We have the calendars, the tools, and the connections to schedule the lives of our children. To do our jobs well, we moms apply extraordinary organizational skills and effective communication skills in order to make the lives of the children enriching, fulfilled, and fun. We can combine business and pleasure with ease. We plan their appointments, meetings, and social lives swiftly just by making a call, or sending an e-mail. We reply to RSVP's at all costs. We buy their friends gifts and we make sure that their guests are always entertained appropriately when at our house.

I read that the BEST Personal Assistants, "have the ability to anticipate their employer's needs and take care of them before they are asked to do so." I am flattered. That means we moms can take on Madonna's PA any day because we are ALWAYS a step ahead of our kids. We can organize their lives to such perfection and so ahead of schedule that all we do is tell them where they need to go and at what time.

We make sure that the children have their schedules visibly accessible so we can remain on top of the daily happenings. We have computers, cell phones, and sometimes even Blackberries. We even assign different colours to each child on the Easy Wipe Whiteboard Calendar. That way we can distinguish each schedule and multitask accordingly.

I am bombarded with requests every day. I take these requests and try my best to make them a reality. Here is a list of our most popular requests:

1. Can we go to So and So's house today?

2. Can we go to the library?

3. Can we go to the park?

4. I need to go to the bathroom.

5. I am hungry. Can I have a snack?

6. Who is coming to my birthday party?

7. When is my birthday party?

8. I want a chocolate cake with icing and decorations for my birthday.

9. Can So and So come and play at my house today?

10. I want to go to Grandma's and Grandpa's house for a sleep over. Can I?

And on and on and on......keeping in mind, some of these requests are repeated several times in one day. So I record the requests on my dictaphone, or make a mental note to fulfill these requests as soon as humanly possible. I don't want to be fired, or sent away to reaffirm my commitment to my job and my people. I never want my loyalty questioned. I always reply with, "I will get on that as soon as I can," or "We'll see when we can fit it into your schedule," or "Our people will call their people."

Sometimes a request cannot be fulfilled. It either doesn't fit into the schedule, or it is deemed unnecessary. Like a movie on demand. Or an impromptu social meeting. Sometimes the PA has to say no. When asked why, the response is always reasonable and justifiable. The Personal Assistant has the power to veto and authorize all requests and decisions.

My number one goal in this job as a Personal Assistant is to ensure the happiness of my child, or boss, whichever way you want to look at it....I am always striving to earn the BIG BONUS at the end of the day. A GINORMOUS hug and a, "Thanks, Mom. I love you." I wouldn't trade this job for any other in the world. Job satisfaction? 10 out of 10.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: DDM, Family, Responsibility

Happy 4th of July to our neighbours to the south from the Wee Ladies, Hubby and me! I hope you have a fun long weekend with family and friends. If you get away for a wee trip, have a drink for me. I can't wait to get away for a summer trip.

The Wee Ladies are putting some of our electronics through the wringer. By this, I mean that I am forever wringing the water out of our portable phones and remote controls. We don't have one single remote control that works properly in the house. Either they are suffering from slight water damage, or they are missing parts.

The Wee Ladies gravitate towards these gadgets. Like a teenage girl gravitates to the phone. Only my girls are under age 5 and are getting a head start on the phone front. And it is all about the phone too. They love taking them off their cradles, pressing buttons, and occasionally making a call. They hold the phone to their ears and have conversations with the invisible people on the other end....or maybe it's legitimate and I am hanging up on people! Sometimes they get pissed off at the person they are speaking with and decide to throw the phone into the toilet. We have 2 portable phones without call display, thanks to toilet water.

The phones aren't the only sufferers of the drowning ritual, but so are the remote controls. We do not have any DVD remotes that work properly. The TV remote upstairs in our room only works when standing at point blank range in front of the screen. Once you lay in bed and try and turn up the volume or change the channel, there's no chance. It only works from a 2 foot distance.

The TV remote in the living room is missing the plastic back part that holds the batteries in. So it is usually not working because there are missing batteries laying among the extra change and dried banana peels under the couch cushions. The DVD remote only works from a minuscule distance, like both remotes upstairs, but it is usually just MIA.

The super annoying thing about this is that we have to do everything manually now. Volume, channels, menu changes, etc.....are all done via Wee Lady demand. Who needs TV ON DEMAND when you have the Wee Ladies? And the phones? Well, I am forever taking them away and putting them out of reach. What is even more annoying is forgetting to put them back on the charger at night, so that by the next day I have nothing but dead phones. I hate picking up the phone only to be greeted by the BEEP! I look to see the picture of the battery with a BIG X through it. Shit! I find another phone, but the screen is blank. Is it dead or is this the phone that lost the screen display because of toilet water? Shit again.

I guess when I think about it, we have ONE remote that is still intact. The TV remote from the kitchen. We have one of those little TV's attached to the wall. It still works, but barely. The buttons stick when you try and change the channels. Little hands have tried to do it themselves. Without-washing-their-hands-first. I can't win. This remote is often MIA as well, and I find it in spots like the toy microwave, or among the instruments.

I am going to make damn sure that I hold on to and guard the remotes for the ceiling fans with my life. I don't want those ones to go haywire either. Then I will be remotely screwed.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Thanks for reading and be sure to come back next week from more tales from this Dress Down Mom. Have a fun weekend!

PPS I am going to get my hair done this afternoon.....here's to a new head!

Labels: Battle, Family

Sometimes the Wee Ladies' feet can get out from under them. And sometimes they lose their balance easily, especially when they are learning how to steady themselves. When they are running quickly and are trying to escape the Mommy Trap or the Daddy Monster, their internal Navigation Steering System can short circuit. The system becomes temporarily unavailable resulting in a collision with a wall, closet, sister, furniture, or other obstacle in their path.

We sometimes refer to a Wee Lady as being 'drunken' when she loses her step, stumbles down the hall, and crashes into something. If she were asked to walk a straight line, there is no way she would pass a sobriety test. She stumbles back and forth, smashes into a wall, and falls on her face. While she looks like she has had one too many cocktails, it is her Navigation Steering System that experiences little technical glitches. Her mind is telling her body to move one way, but somehow her body gets the wrong message and she ends up heading the wrong direction. There is impact with the door, followed by her spiraling out of control and landing on the floor, face down.

Then there is the wide turn. Picture a Wee Lady running full tilt down the hall. The Navigation Steering System tells her to make a sharp right into the bathroom. She sees her destination, but fails to adjust the speed in order to accommodate the turn. She needs to decrease her thrust to slow down a bit. This can happen too late at times and she under-compensates. As this happens, her entire body turns and she comes in from the far side of the door, slightly grazing the frame. The linen closet ends up absorbing the impact.

As air traffic controllers, Hubby and I see where the Wee Ladies want to go. And sometimes we watch the collision unfold. These events happen so quickly and we realize that the Navigation Steering System is failing, but it is most often too late.

Like Newton's first law, the Wee Ladies are objects in motion that want to stay in motion....until they hit the wall.

There have been collisions of many kinds and injuries to go with them. Scrapes, bruises, and even goose eggs. But the air traffic controllers can only do so much. We can guide them to their destination accordingly, but ultimately it is their Navigation Steering Systems that need to get them there in one piece. We try to prevent some crashes, but we cannot eliminate them. As time goes on, the system automatically upgrades itself and installs new software. And the Navigation Steering System failures become less and less.

The air traffic controllers don't like witnessing smash and crashes. The mess is not fun to clean up. But we know that it is inevitable and that all systems can fail at times. We just know that it makes for better and stronger systems.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family

The time is here. We have all three Wee Ladies around the table. The highchair is gone. For good.

Over the weekend, we decided to bring in one of the extra booster chairs and put it at the table for The Destroyer. She has been wanting to get out of the highchair for a while now. Hubby set it up to officially mark her own spot at the big table. She couldn't feel more proud to be sitting at the table.

She loves it. She feels like she is part of the action now. We had the highchair right beside the table, but I guess it wasn't enough for her. She has gone from taking a few bites and fighting to stand up in the chair to seated, lengthy, leisurely lunches. She is a good eater too. She polishes everything off for the most part. I have even given a spoon for her yogurt and she gets really mad at me when I try to take it away or help her get the aim right. She makes a huge mess in the process but she is learning. She wants to be like her sisters.

It feels great to have everyone at the table. I love having family dinner time. I think it is so important. This gives us all a chance to discuss our day and also talk about things we want to do together. I like having that family bonding and I think that the open communication we have now will be beneficial as the Wee Ladies get older. I want them to feel comfortable talking about anything and everything with us.

Along with the communication, meal time around the table is a time to teach decent manners. We work on staying seated, eating politely, and being excused once the meal is over and the Wee Ladies (except The Destroyer) take their dishes to the sink. I personally want them to be able to eat politely both in and out of the house.

Restaurant behaviour is a big one for me. I can't stand the mayhem that I sometimes see when out in public and have decided with Hubby that we want our kids to know and understand proper manners when out of our house. There will be no running around, shouting, throwing food, or major messes. But most of all, I never want them to think it is okay to misbehave when other people have come out to enjoy and pay for a decent meal with their hard earned money. Nothing is worse than receiving looks of death by others if the child decides that they have had enough. We have had that experience.

We rarely go out to restaurants. With the Wee Ladies so small, it is a big risk to take them all out. Plus it is expensive. In the meantime, we will teach them proper manners at home so by the time we can all go out and enjoy a meal, they will know how to manage themselves. I will keep my fingers crossed and cannot promise anything.

We have reached the end of another era- I made a bright yellow For Sale sign for the highchair and taped it to the tray. Hubby took it out to the road and it was gone within a couple of hours. Some grandparents picked it up to use at their house for their grandkids. I am happy that someone else will get some use out of it.

These milestones always remind me how quickly the time goes. While I struggle sometimes watching my babies grow so fast, I know that the next milestone will make one of them feel proud and important. And that makes me happy.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family, Responsibility

The Wee Ladies have a lot of great people in their lives. The many Aunties are some of these people. I have some great girlfriends from school who live in Toronto. There are others too, but today I am writing about 3 of them. And I am going to visit them tomorrow. Without kids. Yes, friends. Another G.A.W.K.. And Hubba Hubba Hubby is staying home to be with the Wee Ladies.

I am going to spend 24 hours hanging with my girls. I am going to leave first thing in the morning and spend the afternoon with Auntie Lisa and possibly Auntie Missy. Nenny With Twins is another Auntie who cannot get out for the afternoon, but will for a late dinner at 7:00 pm (this is late for us with kids. And a luxury to eat at a normal dinner hour as opposed to the usual Early Bird dinners).

Auntie Lisa is a best friend of mine. We met in our last year of high school and went on to the same university. We didn't hang out at all in high school. She didn't dig my lifestyle of cigarettes, beer, and going for coffee-all day, everyday. But she came around (giggle!) and in university we became pals. She was in the same residence as Auntie Missy and I. After a night of debauchery she came and rescued me from my Rubbermaid container. I fell into and broke my Rubbermaid container. All I could do was reach for the phone and speed dial Lisa on my pink and white Barbie phone that I had from the age of 13. From that point on, we were best buds.

Auntie Lisa is so good to our family. She comes down to visit and spends time with the Wee Ladies. They are in love with her. She has always been a solid supporter of me and isn't afraid to tell it like it is. It was her birthday this week and so I am going to take her for a sushi lunch and we are going to shop around tomorrow. And then go for dinner and out for a few drinks. YAY!!

Auntie Missy is also another fab friend from our last year of high school. She did agree with my lifestyle and was right in there with me. And for years after that. We went on to be roommates all through university. She is full of life and is about to become a Mommy for the first time in August. It's a boy too, so I can't wait to move myself in for a few days to help and hold the newbie.

I have often referred to my head doctor Nenny With Twins on this blog. We met in our first year of university and lived together in 3rd year. We travelled the UK in 2000 for 5 weeks and had a blast. She is one of those people who is not only on the same page with me, but sometimes I think we share a brain. We have the same sense of humour, get each other's jokes, and love the same things. Like orange Fanta and Yorkie chocolate bars from the UK. I don't have a relationship like this with anyone else in the world. We used to have Bingo Tuesdays in university where we would buy a Bingo lottery ticket and play side by side flailing Bingo shrapnel all over the table and floor (the stuff that you scratch off of the lottery card). She has her beautiful twins now and we talk pretty much everyday. Sometimes for a long time. She was instrumental in my starting this blog.

I love that I have such great friendships that have taken us through the years. The Wee Ladies are lucky to have the many Aunties too. I know that the Wee Ladies will really benefit from having the Aunties around because they will all make sure that they don't end up with bad Grade 8 graduation or prom dresses- ever. They will see to it that they stay hip and with the times.

It is also great that they see the importance of having good, close girlfriends in life. Without them, it would be a lonely existence. The support, the laughter, and the fun is something that keeps me grounded and keeps me sane. I need them. And I hope that the Wee Ladies will grow to value and find some true friends of their own.

All's I'm sayin' all.

Have a fun weekend! Be back Monday!

Labels: Family

Over the long weekend we had a visit from Stinky Uncle Jeff. My single, athletic, witty, too-intelligent-for-his-own-good, only-reads-non-fiction, fart-in-a-mitt, older brother. I love this guy to pieces. He is the only person in this entire world who can a) push my buttons to the point of tantrums of epic proportions, and b) make me laugh like no one else can (except maybe Nenny with Twins). Our childhood was super fun and I could manipulate any skirmish in my favour. He got in trouble soooo many times because of my dramatic reactions of pain and emotional scarring. I often wondered when we were growing up what our relationship would be like in adulthood because of our frequent childhood conflicts. I am happy to say that we are closer than I ever imagined we would be and he is the best uncle any kid could ever hope for.

He is moving with his job (he works for the railroad) and I won't even start into how bummed out I am about that. I am happy he is moving up the career ladder, but am sad that he is moving 2700 km away. He came for one last visit (at least for the next several months) and the kids had a party with him.

We have a routine prior to Stinky Uncle Jeff's arrival. We have to make his favourite fibrous oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and muffins that are loaded with extra flax seed. We have to stock up on Tropicana OJ and Lactose Free milk because his system can't tolerate regular milk....hence our name for him. When I told EvieG that Stinky Uncle Jeff was coming for the weekend, she jumped up and down clapping and squealing, "Yay!!" And then she stopped mid-jump and looked very seriously at me and asked, "Is he going to ask me to pull his finger again?" I guffawed. I nodded and told her probably, and reminded her to plug her nose.

Stinky Uncle Jeff is the Uncle who:

- takes the Wee Ladies on Space Pod rides to the planet Zumba in their styrofoam Max and Ruby chair (this is a wild trip complete with sci-fi sound effects as he runs around the house with them in the chair)
- brings the most annoying, noisiest toys he can find (electric guitar that spews out rock music at the slightest brush of a finger and doesn't turn off- true story)
- brings water rockets and other cool outside water toys
- takes them to the train station to watch the trains come in
- teaches them how to play Dodgeball- this is where he gives EvieG a head start and she runs across the backyard while trying to dodge the gigantic purple yoga ball that he kicks at her trying to knock her down like a human bowling pin
- teaches them vocabulary they shouldn't be exposed to at such a young, vulnerable, sponge-like age

EvieG announced to the lot of us that she needed to go to the bathroom. Stinky Uncle Jeff proceeded to egg her on by introducing new ways to describe her situation. She learned that she was:
- dropping the kids off at the pool
- pinching a loaf
- dropping a load
And my personal favourite:
- taking a dump

You can just imagine how I reacted as I punched him in the bicep each time he came up with a new phrase to teach her while laughing in my face at the same time. As she hollers these new words from the bathroom, he then tells her she can only say these things when he is around. Great. Thanks. Like that is ever going to happen. Still trying to push my buttons and we are in our 30's. I guess I can officially say my daughter is learning a potty mouth, all thanks to my brother.

After the Wee Ladies go to bed, Stinky Uncle Jeff steals Hubby and they go on dates. It is so sweet. They go to the movies and out for drinks. He makes Hubby act as his 'Wing Man' as he checks out the ladies in the fine establishments of our town. They get along well I am glad for that because I have suffered his critiques in the past when he did not approve of the guy I was dating. Some of them I still hear about.

The Wee Ladies love Stinky Uncle Jeff. He spends time with them, reads to them, and plays with them. I know he will be an important person in their lives as they grow. If he ever has kids, he knows it will be payback time. Drum sets, pots and pans just for the kids, and other musical instruments will show up every year at Christmas.

The kids will miss jumping on him and waking him up at 7:30 am, but look forward to his next visit. I will make sure that we continue to say, "Hi, Uncle Jeff!" each time we are stopped at a train.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Family