Friday, February 5, 2010
Grandpa-Up-In-Heaven
It has been 14 years since the passing of my Dad, or Grandpa-Up-In-Heaven as the Wee Ladies know him. This day is always a tough one for my family and I as we think about how much we miss one of the strongest forces we have ever known.
I took the Wee Ladies out to a friend's place yesterday in the country where it is quiet with the exception of the chatty chickadees. The Wee Ladies stood around the bird feeders as the birds swooped and flew around our heads like acrobatic stunt planes. Their wings made the sound of buzzing propellers. It was so tranquil and peaceful and I think about those same moments I shared with my Dad.
We used to sit outside in the snow with sunflower seeds in our perched hands. He taught me how to be still. We would sit and wait a long time until the friendly chickadees would trust us enough to sit and take a meal from our hands or just whiz by and take a break on the top of our toques before setting off again for more dips and dives through the cedar trees.
This lesson goes far beyond feeding the birds. He taught me to how to be still at the right times so I would learn to appreciate what was around me. I learned how to stop and look around, listen and think clearly, thanks to him. This is something I try hard to instill in the Wee Ladies, especially EvieG. Patience is something I value highly in life and sometimes I feel like patience rules Hubby and I as we settle into our new life here and wait for projects and jobs to take shape.
I firmly believe everything happens for a reason as tough as some of those things may be.
As time marches on, I feel myself growing into him more as I hear him loud and clear in my own voice when talking to the Wee Ladies. I hear myself repeating things he told me, or sharing views that he shared with me. I am teaching the Wee Ladies in the same way he taught me. We go out and follow the deer tracks and talk about it as we go. We stop along the way and listen to the wind race through the branches in the woods. We talk about nature as we see it.
14 years may have passed but I still feel like his influence is just as strong as it was when he was here in real time. I will share things about him with the Wee Ladies so that they feel as if they have some connection with my father, their grandfather. I will tell them what he would think or even what he might say about a particular subject.
He was a strong force in our lives. He still is. And he continues to be an important force in the lives of the Wee Ladies.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS February's Who's DDM is up! You can click here to go and check it out. Have a good weekend! Labels: Family, Reflection
Monday, January 18, 2010
Life Lessons
I am reading If the World Were a Village: A Book about the World's People to EvieG right now. This is a book (also made into a narrated TV version) about what life would be like if the world were a village made up of 100 people. It encourages 'world-mindedness', an 'approach and attitude to life'. Click here for a clip. It puts the global village into a condensed perspective for little ones. It is really amazing.
Given what has happened in Haiti, I have taken the time to try and explain things like fresh food and water, housing and living conditions to EvieG and how disasters can strike and change the lives of millions. I am trying to show her that there are many people in the world who are living through horrific tragedy and who are simply trying to survive. I don't know how much she can comprehend but I figure it is worthwhile explaining.
The next question is trying to be proactive. By donating to the cause is one way, but I am often thinking to myself, how else can we help or how can she see the realities and struggles that people are faced with everyday around the world? This will be something I explore as the Wee Ladies get older.
It is so easy to carry on with our days with our kids. I have been thinking a lot about how the people in Haiti are coping. I realize that in our global village, we are all neighbours and we all can do something to help in times of need.
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: Reflection
Friday, January 1, 2010
I hold it!
Happy New Year to everyone! After a rather long hiatus, I can say that our family holidays are officially done. We all had a fun time with holiday prep, lots of family around, a trip to see Auntie Lisa, and now a detox for Hubby and I. For real. Somehow I have to find a way to detox The Destroyer of sugary treats.
Hubby and I are one week into a 30 day cleanse. All is well so far and I have lost 6 pounds. I am feeling fantastic. I have energy. I go all day long without stopping. I have a list a mile long of things I want to do this year. I will have it all for you in the Who's DDM section. Click here for that. I haven't written there since October. Slacker, I am.
The holidays are a time for indulging. That I did. So much so that on Boxing Day I had to take a Zantac. I have never taken one of those in my life. Too much rich food. And so we got all the treats out of the house on the 26th and vacated our house of anything else that a Zantac would like to attack.
The Wee Ladies had a super time. The Destroyer especially. All she asked Santa for was a candy bracelet. That's it. She got three. So for Christmas Day and the day after, she wore them around her neck and wore them down. She was caked with white goop all around her mouth and down onto her neck and chest. It was a true sight to see. She asked me this morning for another one.
Sugar is her weakness. Anything sweet. Or refined. Like Kraft Dinner. She loves these things so much she wants to carry them around with her. She walked around with the unopened Gummie Life Savers that were left in her stocking. For days. And I would try and take them away at which point she would yell, "I hold it!" Eventually I found trails of wrapper around the house. It was a gradual process. She does the dame thing with the KD. She will randomly go into the cupboard and parade around shaking the dried macaroni inside. I will say, "We have already had lunch!" She practically spits, "I hold it!" in my face, knowing full well we are not having it to eat.
So it is increased fruit, oatmeal with flax, apples and honey. It is granola with vanilla yogurt. She is digging it and besides the comment about wanting another candy bracelet, she really hasn't asked for anything else sweet. And she really hasn't attempted to help herself like she was doing. She is not reaching into the cupboard that is at her height looking for the Digestives, granola bars, or raisins.
Maybe it is because I finally got my act together and removed it. Not from the house, but to another location. We have to have Digestives! Isn't that like a childhood staple? When we were kids, we occasionally got the chocolate covered ones.
One of my resolutions: Keep The Destroyer from eating too much sugar and monitor more closely what she is snacking on.
And the same goes for me.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Mission, Reflection, The Destroyer
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Strawberries+butter tarts=this year's challenge
My mom is here visiting us for a few days. We are all happy to have her and are enjoying our visit. I am spending quality time with her and will therefore be off the radar until next week. I apologize for the lack of new posts, but I will post a few from the archives. Today's selection is U-Pick, a hit from last July. Strawberry season is upon us. My mom brought us 4 containers yesterday and they are almost all gone. She also brought homemade butter tarts. Last year I attempted to make jam. It was a frustrating experience but I came out with a satisfactory batch. This year, EvieG has requested strawberry tarts, thanks to Grandma bringing the strawberries and the butter tarts. I don't know. I had a hard enough time with jam, let alone getting all fancy with jellied tarts. But who cares how they turn out, right? I would make them solely for bragging rights. 10 years from now, she will be sitting with her friends comparing notes about their mothers. And she will recall proudly, "My mom totally did everything from scratch. She used to make like the yummiest strawberry tarts. She was like huge into cooking in season, you know? And those tarts were to die for!" I will have done my job well; convincing beyond a reasonable doubt that everything was like totally homemade. What she won't remember is Tenderflake and strawberry Jello with frozen berries mixed in, cooked at 35o degrees for 10 minutes. With a heaping pile of ReddiWip on top.   All's I"m sayin's all. Wednesday, July 9, 2008 U-Pick I have never canned anything in my life. I just eat the preserves of my Mom and MIL. This year, I decided to do something myself. We are strawberry freaks, so I decided I would make my first batch of strawberry jam. I took the Wee Ladies to the strawberry patch. Luckily for me, a friend of mine came along with her daughters. This meant more eyes on the Wee Ladies. We got there, grabbed our baskets and went to work. The girls picked randomly along the rows. I was slow and precise. My girlfriend is a strawberry picking machine. She was half a row ahead of me at all times. EvieG was also precise and when she brought me her basket, I noticed she had already picked off all the green stems. She presented them to me like they should have been on a plate with chocolate sauce dabbled across them. Cut and prepared. Ready to serve. Spark Plug spent most of the time trampling over the plants, picking berries, and then placing them in her basket only to remove them to her mouth. She left with an empty basket and a full tummy. The Destroyer picked up the mushed berries from in between the rows and ate them. She left with dirty fingers, a dirty face, a full tummy, and a possible illness. She came out unscathed.  We took them home and I put the flat on the counter. I stared at it for a day, deciding if in fact I was really going to tackle this whole jam-thing. I went out and bought the jars. I then needed the Pectin crystals. I was looking at the options. There was the regular Certo, the Certo Light, and the new No Sugar Needed Certo. Hmmmmmm......The regular is like spreading several cavities on your toast. The light is, well, a couple of cavities, and the no sugar version is a little added unsweetened apple juice. That was probably the best choice for the kids. The healthiest choice by far.  I got up Saturday morning all hell-bent on making the best batch of jam ever. Better than Grandma's. And I had this new, healthy way of doing it too. No extra sugar needed. Jam's best kept secret that no on knew about, except me. I washed the berries and took the stems off. I heated the jars and lids. I squashed the berries and measured them according to the recipe. I added the juice and the crystals. I cooked them for 3 minutes and stirred until all was dissolved. I ladled the jam into the jars and sealed them. I labeled the lids and waited for them to 'pop' to tell me I was better than Grandma. I proudly displayed the jars full of healthy red goodness for all to see. I let it sit and settle for 24 hours.  During this process I had to deal with 2 hungry crying babies. I had to prepare lunch, stir, and ladle all at the same time. I was a stressed out, multi-tasking monster. There was jam everywhere, jars everywhere, and snot everywhere. And my whispies were fully flying. What I forgot to do in this jam session was the most important, vital thing that all Grandma's do when cooking. Taste the stuff. I missed this part. But at least I followed the recipe to a tee. That is one thing I never do. But I did this time. Sunday morning rolls in and I, proud mom, 'pops' open my first jar of strawberry jam ever. Hubby was there for my inauguration into the "Mommy Who Can Can" club. I put in my teaspoon and all cocky like, scooped out a heaping mouthful, opened my mouth and....."Oh, my god. That's......not good.....oh, man, that...is...in...need....of...some...major....SUGAR." I was so devastated. Hubby took a bite and said, "Ummmmm, that's.....pretty bad. You know, we aren't diabetic. We don't need the no sugar version. You should have just made the real stuff. Like Grandma." CRAP! Ya, like Grandma. I composed myself, tasted it again, and added several teaspoons of sugar. Ahhhhh, that was better. My ego was popped along with the lids on the jam jars. I thought I had moved up the crafty mommy chain by making some real homemade jam, on-the-stove-from-scratch. Just like Grandma. But I totally botched it. Like my $12.80 in strawberries, I was crushed. So my diabetic Father-in-Law is now a proud new owner of 8 jars of unsweetened strawberry jam.  There was no reason AT ALL to divert from Grandma's way. There is something to be said about the classic baked goods we grew up with. It is real. It is pure. There was none of this no sugar bulls#*t. Why did I think I had to get all on my high horse thinking that my kids would be any healthier because they had a teaspoon of no-friggin-sugar-strawberry-jam on their toast? Whatever, I say to myself. I should have put in the darn sugar and done it right the first time. Don't chince on the good stuff. I make my cookies from scratch and I always use real butter, sugar, and chocolate. As some guy on the Food Network said, "Make it like Grandma's."  So I will. I went out to the strawberry patch yesterday. Instead of picking them myself, I bought the flat this time. I paid more, but it was worth avoiding the gigantic headache of monitoring the Wee Ladies in the field. I am going to do it right this time. With some sugar..and maybe a couple extra teaspoons just to make it extra sweet. The above picture is what I used the first time around. Under it is what I should have used the first time around.  It's like I'm all 17 again rebelling against Grandma. Trying to prove that my way was the best way. Only to learn that I was wrong again. As I have heard a million times, "You should always listen to your mother." I'm 33 and it still hasn't sunk in. Will the Wee Ladies do the same thing to me? All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Battle, DDM, Family, Hubby Comments: Labels: Reflection
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The receipt was as long as my arm
I am just over a week into my rebooting. Click here for some background. I am doing well with this and feel a lot better. I have lost 5 lbs so far. Can I keep it up? If my bank account doesn't dry up first. If my receipts keep growing in length like they are, then I am in trouble.
I am eating a crapload of fresh veggies like salad with olive oil and flax seed, tomatoes, cucumber, broccoli, asparagus, and cauliflower. Tons of fruit too like strawberries, pineapple, melon, and oranges. I have been adding some tuna, salmon, sole, and beef to the mix. Also, yogurt and cottage cheese. I am drinking my 8 glasses of water a day which has been great. It keeps me full and was not as hard to do as I thought it would be.
So no bread. Or sugar, coffee, or alcohol. And really, it hasn't been too awful. In all honesty, I do crave coffee in the morning. Every morning. Today I had a mint tea. I don't crave beer or wine. I do crave bread. Spark Plug and I made chocolate chip cookies this afternoon and I did sneak some cookie dough. And had a bite of a baked cookie, just to make sure it turned out alright. I could feel my mouth start to salivate. And after the bite, I did want more. But I did not cave in.
I am continuing this for another week, at which time I return to Holistic Lady and have a debriefing. I wonder what she will say?
Here is the kicker. Buying this much fresh food is expensive! I am shocked at how much I spent when I bought everything for this menu. My receipt was probably the equivalent of a small forest. It was seriously as long as my arm from my shoulder to the tips of my fingers. We have gone through most of the food and I went shopping last Friday. Here we are not even a week later and I had to go back to the grocery store this morning to replenish most of the produce. It costs a lot for uber healthy eating. We are going to have to really watch what we buy after this 2 week diet is done. Maybe be a bit pickier as far as what I stock the fridge with; a little more bland with our menu but still try and maintain the good health.
I thought I would buy almond butter for the Wee Ladies until I read that it costs $7.69.
The important thing is that I am getting myself back on track. Hubby says I am smiling more. This is good. I have a better perspective and am calmer. I am more patient and even tempered and it has only been a week. Holistic Lady told me that this would likely happen.
If I keep this routine up, or a version of, what will I feel like after a month? 3 months? I am going to try to stick to it. I want to see how I will change as I keep going.
I hope to scour for spare change for those local strawberries instead of the grande mild coffee with double cream.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS As a follow up to the last post- Spark Plug and The Destroyer are sleeping amazingly well now that we blacked out their window. Thanks to the staple gun that made it happen.
PPS Don't forget to click here to enter to win a new Dora DVD!
Labels: DDM, Reflection
Friday, May 15, 2009
Conquering my fear of flying from the ground
The Wee Ladies and I are making a habit of heading out to our local airport. I have issues with flying; a love-hate relationship if you will. I want to get past my fear. So I take everyone out to watch the flight training and grab a coffee. Hopefully, I won't be so scared to fly. If I ever get to go anywhere again. Ever. I used to LOVE flying. I would get myself into my seat, buckle in, and watch everything. I had to have a window seat. If I didn't get one, I would talk someone into trading with me. Sometimes, I even fell asleep before taking off. I was that comfortable. But then it all changed. I became a mom. I am now very aware of my own mortality. Slowly over the years, I have become more and more cautious of flying. I don't like the fact that I have no idea who I have trusted my life with. I require a shot or two before take off. I listen for any sounds that don't seem right. I watch the flight attendants carefully for changes in behaviour and expression. I study my surroundings. I know where the exits are. I strategically plan where I sit based on the probability of coming out alive in the event of a crash. I hate flying. It is the ascent and descent that I especially hate because those are the times during a flight when most things could go wrong. I have every possible scenario swirling around in my head. I become a nervous wreck. I twitch and fidget in my seat. I have lines appear all over my face. I am asked by the flight attendants if I feel alright. Every flight I take, which is few and far between, I move closer to Valium. The problem is that I LOVE to travel and I dream about all the places I want to go with the Wee Ladies all the time. I dream about where we can go and what we can do. I never plan the actual travel part. If I want to travel, I will have to fly. So I must get over this fear of flying before my next trip. When is my next trip? That has yet to be determined. There is no set date. But I figure I better get on this whole flying issue before the next trip gets here. And so it has begun. I am rebuilding my relationship with the plane. We went out to the airport this morning. I watched someone in training who was practicing their take off and landing. Every few minutes the plane landed and immediately took off again. We also watched helicopter pilots in training. One guy was on his cross country solo trip today. And then I saw something that made me feel somewhat okay about the whole flying thing. A 75 year old man take off in his self-made plane that is powered by a Subaru motor. He was alone. He was incredible. He made it look so easy. He fueled up, sat and watched a couple planes take off, started his engines, taxied out, and took off. Just like that. I was amazed by his comfort. I wondered if he was a veteran. The fact that he can get into something he built himself, using a car motor, and feel okay about it, made me think that I am likely going to be safe and sound on my next flight. His chances of crashing are far greater than mine would be by the looks of his plane. He was perfectly confident. The Wee Ladies are obsessed with the planes. They even go into the terminal and sit down on the leather couches to read plane magazines. They sat for about an hour this morning watching all of the local air action. Ten bucks says as soon as The Destroyer is old enough, she is going to want to be up in the sky doing air stunts. I wouldn't be surprised. Both of my brothers have their pilot's license. I have been flying with both of them. I thought I was a step away from the Marble Orchard. They got me to the ground safely and were happy I kept the barf bags empty. I am one visit closer to getting over my fear of flying. I figure if I get to know the airport staff and pilots in training, have a few conversations, and maybe even take a couple trips into the clouds with one of the local pilots, I will be good to go. Would I ever feel safe enough to get my pilot's license? If my brothers can do it, I can too. Maybe if I was the one in control, I would be just fine. I might even like it again... For now I will love and hate flying from the ground. All's I'm sayin's all. PS It is May 2-4 here this weekend! Being the long weekend, I will be back next Tuesday. Have a great weekend and thanks for reading! Labels: Mission, Reflection
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Happy Mudder's Day
Here we are, another year later, with Mother's Day upon us. I went back into the archives and read what I posted last year. My sentiments are unchanged. You can click here to read it. After all we have been through in our family in the last year with our move, I have realized that the Wee Ladies are just as happy as they were the year before. It is our love and consistency that keeps them so secure.
I have reached a new place in my role as a mom. I have always loved being home with the Wee Ladies. That was my choice and we have made sacrifices in other areas of life to accommodate that decision. I have reached a new level of calm. I am not so anxious anymore about making sure everything gets done, that I need to have my 'away' time. I am really embracing the Wee Ladies and the time we are sharing together. I keep telling myself that this time in life is so fleeting and that they will be grown up in no time. I am loving the time that they want to spend with me because I know that won't last forever.
We are busier now than we have been in a long time. We are out and about more, visiting more, playing more. We are having a ball with each other.
I hope that we continue to stay close and over the years I will stress the importance of having an open and loving relationship. I tell them about a million times a day that I love them. I am very affectionate with them and they are in return. They are with each other- most days. It is so amazing to see them cuddle and hug one another. I will always encourage that open and honest expression. I am like that with my own mom. We have always told each other how much we love one another, whether it is verbal, or in a card.
Moms need to know they are loved.
I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day this year. I hope you enjoy your day with your children and your own mothers. I hope you get a great gift from your kids. EvieG gave me a calendar today. Each month has her hand prints worked into a seasonal picture. It is perfect. Spark Plug gave me her picture in a pretty bucket with special stones. The Destroyer gave me a cute little craft she made. I will always cherish these gifts.
Time goes by so quickly. I hope that we all can enjoy each other this Mother's Day and take the opportunity to really express our love for our mothers and families. Life is too short not to spend some special time with those closest to us; our mothers. Even if it's on the phone from a far distance.
Happy Mudder's Day, 2009!
Here is this year's poem from an Ann Lander's column from 1987:
"The Time Is Now"
If you are ever going to love me,/Love me now, while I can know/The sweet and tender feelings/Which from true affection flow. Love me now/While I am living/Do not wait until I'm gone/And then have it chiseled in marble,/Sweet words on ice-cold stone. If you have tender thoughts of me,/Please tell me now./If you wait until I am sleeping,/Never to awaken,/There will be death between us,/And I won't hear you then. So, if you love me, even a little bit,/Let me know it while I am living/So I can treasure it. All's I'm sayin's all.
PS We are going away tomorrow to spend some time with our mothers and grandmothers. I will be back next week! Thanks for reading!
Labels: Family, Reflection
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Power of Perception
When it comes to the safety and well being of our children, we parents are usually willing to pay a premium for quality products, especially ones that are natural and toxin-free. I become frustrated when I learn that products that I perceive to be good quality are not what they seem to be. I get mad at myself for relying on assumption. I do not buy everything North American. That seems pretty much impossible nowadays. You can buy great quality products from around the world. When it comes to the premium, 'natural' products that I wish to have for the Wee Ladies, I like to align myself with companies that are proud and passionate and honest about how and where their products are produced. I also like to support companies who are marketing themselves as the trusty, valued 'mom and pop shops' who are manufacturing at home, employing locals, and using North American quality materials. I love supporting anything Made in Canada or the US.
A friend of mine showed me a painted wooden toy from Melissa and Doug's Cutting Fruit set. The paint has chipped around the edges of the toy. They got it at Christmas for their three girls, ages, 6, 3, and almost 1 to play with. After 4 months of use, they were not expecting to see this level of wear on the toy. Take a look-
 You obviously would not want your babies ingesting that.
I decided to hop onto the Melissa and Doug website to check it out. I read that they began their business 20 years ago in Doug's garage. They started making products by hand and so were the typical, small family business. Eventually, they were able to move down the road and acquire both men and women's bathrooms. From here I understand that they continued to move across town, the state, and country, only to end up in China! This old 'mom and pop shop' moved overseas to produce their products, not for an increase in safety or quality, but for profitability.
I made the mistake in perceiving this company to be all North American. And by reading their website, there is nothing to lead me to believe otherwise. They communicate their passion for quality products and for over-the-top customer satisfaction. They want us to know that they adhere to all safety regulations and that their "toys meet or exceed government recommendations limiting heavy metals and lead in children's items." They also encourage their customers to communicate with them so they can strive to do better. They seem proud. So proud that they put their own name on the label. But they manufacture in China.
I believe companies make the move overseas for profit. North American engineers can design products and tell the manufacturers exactly what they want and how they want things done. China can make whatever American companies want. They can make lots very cheaply. They can make lots of money.
I am disappointed that a company of this calibre makes their so-called quality wooden toys in China, especially when they are communicating the importance of the Melissa and Doug family. They are charging a premium price for these toys, which makes me believe that I am paying for a product that is made by the American family who got it all started by wanting to make a safe and 'natural' product of the highest quality.
The power of perception is strong. I am disappointed in myself for not looking closer at this company because we own a few of their products. I assumed that this company was natural and North American made. My perception of these pricey products and their 'ties to home' got me. The prices told me that I was supporting homemade products and I am willing to pay the higher price for such items.
It just goes to show that our perceptions of some of these companies can be incorrect; that we are not looking hard enough at the whats and wheres. I feel like I have been let-down; that I was trying to make the right decision to buy quality items that are good for my kids. We rely on the word of a company who prides itself on making quality products. But are they really good quality? We can only rely on ourselves.
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: Reflection, Responsibility
Monday, April 6, 2009
A stranger nicely told me that I am a nag
I was at the doctor's office today when a stranger pointed something out to me that all moms do. Something that we don't always realize we are doing. We are giving orders, and the same orders, on repeat. Even after the child has followed the given directions, we still give the orders.
Today's scenario- I was getting the Wee Ladies dressed to leave the office. I asked Spark Plug to come over to me to get her coat on. She did just that. As she was standing right in front of me, practically on my toes, I said, "Please come here and get your coat on!"
The lady sitting beside us blurted, "But she is 'here'. She is standing right there in front of you!" And she laughed. She proceeded to tell me about all the times she used to say the same things to her daughters. Things like, "Come here, Julie! We need to go now!" Her other daughter would say, "Mom, Julie is right in front of you. You don't need to keep telling her to come over there. She is there!"
It is like telling EvieG to buckle up in the car 40 million times before I put The Guzzler in drive. She buckled up after the 5th time I asked. I-am-on-autopilot. I get into the groove with a mission in mind to get the Wee Ladies organized and prepared for departure or asking them to get things done. And they get so annoyed with the record-repeat.
We will be walking and I will state in multiple layers, one after the other, "Come on! Stay with Mommy! Hey! Hurry on! Come on!....." and over again, in that order. And they are with me. In fact, they are only about two steps away from me. What do I think they are going to do if I turn off the repeat-mode? Run out onto the street in front of a bus? Jump into the fast flowing stream to our left? Really, I mean is it that necessary for me to be repeating myself like I have completely lost my mind and need to use my outer-monologue for fear of losing my train of thought or the task at hand?
The classic for me is the old, "Come on! Get dressed! You have school! Are you getting dressed?" This drives EvieG nuts. "Moooommmm! I am!" she will moan. It is like I think my power-pellet-repeat is going to get her to dress faster. In fact, I think it does the opposite. It distracts her and irritates her to the point of where my 5 year old is rolling her eyes at me.
I think the stranger in the doctor's office did her good deed for the day. She made me realize that I am in such a pattern of repeating myself that I don't even hear what I am saying anymore. She totally called me on it. And not in a snitty way. In a humourous way because we had a good chuckle about all the things we say but don't hear.
I am going to try and listen a little better.
I wonder how many times I say, "Shhhhhhhh!" in a day. Maybe I should start a tally. Just like I did with how many times I said, " Just a minute!"
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: DDM, Reflection
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A lovely afternoon
The birthday went well. And as Nenny with Twins says, the day after is the worst day of the year. The attention is over and done with and now you have to wait a whole 365 days until the next birthday. Well, the day is over and I am going to try to enjoy being 34. For me, the longest day of the year was a good one. Aunt Nancy drove up with my aunt, her daughter, and my grandmother, Nana. They stayed for a while and we had a great visit.
I always enjoy multiple generations sitting around the table chatting. I love listening to the different perspectives. We had a long lunch. Over our chicken pot pie, Cole Slaw for Nana, mixed greens, followed by Nan's banana bread and whipped cream, we talked about all sorts of girl stuff, but mainly motherhood and marriage. We discussed how different people cope with adjusting to these life events from this multi-generation perspective.
Some of the conversation covered self-centredness and how this can pose a problem as a new parent/spouse. We agreed that the transition for some seems to be more difficult, especially having had time to go to school and establish a certain lifestyle on one's own. When another person or a baby enters the picture, some people have a hard time sharing their life, compromising, or cutting back in certain areas to accommodate these changes.
Roles were defined back in the day between men and women and now that these roles have shifted, it can become challenging to work as a team/family unit, especially if the adults are both working. Who does what? How is life balanced out? What are the exact expectations between spouses if only one is working? It can be a struggle, no doubt.
Financial responsibility always seems to be an issue in most homes regardless of how many are working out of the house. It is a struggle to establish boundaries sometimes when one partner may be the sole breadwinner. How is the stay-at-home partner to be productive and what and how are they supposed to contribute and how does that effect the relationship? Where is the give and the take? Who is entitled to spend the income and in what way?
The key we agreed is communication. From our conversation, it seems that communication may be at the heart of getting through the transition successfully. Spouses/partners need to discuss things consistently, otherwise resentment, guilt, and frustration emerge which can obviously lead to problems. Without communication, something is bound to go awry and serious issues will eventually come to light, which makes the adjustment that much more difficult. Expressing thoughts, feelings, and perspectives can keep things in check. The relationship can grow positively and with understanding and mutual respect and hopefully any self-centredness will subside.
If only it were that easy.
I am glad my family came to visit today. The Wee Ladies had fun. I had fun. I love that we live in our new town and can visit with so many more people more often than we did before.
I look forward to more afternoons like this one. And to the next 365 days.
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: DDM, Family, Nenny with Twins, Reflection
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Grandpa-Up-In-Heaven
This is always a difficult day for my family and I. It was 13 years ago today that my father passed away at the age of 53. I was a month away from my 21st birthday and my parents were a month away from their 30th wedding anniversary. The years have been tough as I have grown and changed and established my own family without him. My father was an incredible man. His love for his family, nature, and his work infiltrated everything he accomplished and it rubbed off on my 2 brothers and I. He worked hard to provide us with the best opportunities possible and he, along with my mom, steered us to be the best we could be. Not a day goes by when I don't think about him, what he would say, think, or answer. I have had a million questions I wish I could have asked him. The worst part about not having my dad around is that he never got to meet the Wee Ladies. They all would have adored each other. And I know he would have helped me teach them the important things that he taught me. He was such an impressive force in our lives and I sometimes feel cheated that he was taken from us so soon. He had so much living to do still. Even though it doesn't help things, I sometimes envision my dad walking through the fields holding my girls' hands as they listen for chickadees, and try to spot the deer roaming around. I also picture them picking wild strawberries together and feeding the trout. These are all things we did together and that meant so much. And so if he can't be here to do those things, then I will. I will try and fill that gap. I will give them the opportunity to experience the things he would have done with them. I will be sure to tell them as much as I can about him, the things I remember about him, and how much he would have loved them. I will also make them understand that he is watching over them because I believe it to be true. I think they know it too. They already know him as a cardinal, one of his favourite birds. I miss my dad. And on this day I always take some time to grieve. It always makes me feel better. All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: DDM, Reflection
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Back to the roots
Watching President Obama speak reminds me of what is important. The values of old can bring us all together as we strive to achieve success and progress. It is great that he will work to carry the United States forward which will hopefully benefit everyone. It is about time we get back to our roots and use our core values and integrity to forge ahead. It is important that we get back to basics in order to continue building. That is what we have done in our family. We stripped away the extras and sized down as we relocated to travel down a new path in the search for positive, well rounded growth and success. We are starting over. And I know we will come out stronger in the end. We made a choice a while ago to live thin so I could stay home with the Wee Ladies. There have been no trips, no luxuries, no extra 'stuff'. But it has been worth it, even though it has been challenging. We have tried to live by our core values and are raising our girls to understand these personal beliefs and fundamentals that we feel are so important. And so I am really going back to the roots. Even my hair is going to go through a transition back to basics. I am going back to my roots, my natural colour. My old colours and bleached out tired hair will be rejuvenated. It will start over too. We are going through a complete overhaul as we strive to achieve what we can to succeed and work to establish the life we want for our family. It feels good and I am looking forward to watching how it all will turn out. For everyone. All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Reflection
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