Wednesday, March 10, 2010
No running in the gym!
The Destroyer is speedy, agile, and unpredictable. She has taken to bolting on me when we are out. I am drilling home the rule that she needs to stay with me at all times.
We were at the Y and she bolted into through the automatic double doors, heading straight for the counter where she presents her card to the staff to be zapped. The Destroyer has entered the building. Spark Plug is often right in there with her and they taunt each other. They race around like Shriners in a local small town parade.
As we were leaving, I was preoccupied talking to another mom. All of a sudden I see The Destroyer take off with Spark Plug not far behind. Around the corner they went, exiting my line of vision. I excused myself and went to find them. They had already left the building and were standing out on the sidewalk beside the busy parking lot. A stern talking to followed as I tried to make clear that it is not safe to bolt.
The Destroyer's way of telling me she understands something is by looking me squarely in the eye, pointing her index finger at my nose and declaring, "No runeen in de gym." This is the rule at nursery school except I think she means no running in the classroom. Who ever heard of the no running in the gym rule? Isn't that going against what the gym is for? I just agreed with her. No running in the gym and no running from mom. Capiche?
And then it happened again today, although they did not make it as far as the parking lot. They just did a few circles around me in the change room and then let themselves out into the foyer area where they continued chasing each other like a dog chases its tail. All eyes were on the crazy girls without proper adult supervision. I called to them and again for the 80th time in a day told them to stay with me. The Destroyer looked at me and said, "No runeen in de gym!" And it is always with a very sly, mischievous smile.
I am forever ushering them places. And if I don't send them on their way, they are lagging behind me. Walking along the main drag in town it is usually me followed by what I call my three little ducklings. They are all meandering across the wide sidewalk in all directions with me in the lead. I keep telling them to stay with mom and don't pick up the cigarette butt or empty coffee cup.
So The Destroyer has no mid-range speed. She is either absurdly slow, or has gone from first to sixth in mere seconds and runs at speeds a cheetah would have a hard time keeping up with.
There is no middle ground with The Destroyer. And there will never be.
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: DDM, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Friday, March 5, 2010
I completely dated myself
It has been a very busy week and the weekend is upon us. We have been running around all over the place and enjoying the weather and outdoors. On Wednesday I had to take Spark Plug for a follow up appointment in a town an hour away. Everything went well and on the way out of town we stopped for a treat.
This town is where her pediatrician is located but it is a town I know moderately well. I used to drive through all the time as a teenager and had a good friend who lived there. That friend and I used to make the same stop at a local produce store every time we went through town. And on Wednesday, I took the Wee Ladies to the same store to take a walk down memory lane.
This store had THE BEST chocolate chunk cookies. And also had the freshly squeezed orange juice. We used to buy the cookies by the container and inhale them all in one sitting. We had one container each, I think. They were chewy and chunky and homemade. They were amazing. Well, I guess they were because I still have a craving for them almost 20 years later.
I wanted the Wee Ladies to share these delectable treats with me. So after the appointment, we made the stop.
What I didn't really think about was that, as I mentioned, my last visit was almost 20 years ago. This obviously meant nothing to me. And the guy behind the bakery counter was very cordial as he tried to contain his laughter. In my face.
I took the Wee Ladies straight to the baked goods section. I searched for the same containers from 2 decades ago. To no avail, I went to the counter and quickly scanned behind the glass. And there they were. Big chocolate chunk cookies. The chunks looked kind of small from what I remembered but they still looked yummy. The guy came over and asked me what I would like. I went into this long speech about how when the last time I was there, I ordered these same cookies and that they are so good and did he know if the recipe was still the same as 1992?
Blank.
Crap. He was probably just a speck in his mommy's ovary at that time.
He politely replied with, "I'm not sure. I wasn't here then."
Of course you weren't. Jeez.
I asked for a half dozen and he went back into the kitchen and started bagging them. Fresh out of the oven. I was standing there beaming and doing jumpy claps. He must have thought that I was the strangest old mom ever.
And then I asked him to direct me towards the freshly squeezed orange juice and asked if in fact the store still carried that because Zehrs got rid of it in about 2001. He for sure thought I was the weirdest mom ever.
I left a happy mom. And I had happy Wee Ladies as the three of us (EvieG was at school) sat in the van and devoured half of the half dozen.
It was just like I remembered and even though I completely dated myself, it was worth every chocolaty, chunky second. Washed down with pulpy orange juice.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Sorry there were no posts this week until now.
Labels: DDM, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Monday, January 25, 2010
Trinkets and Clutter Placed in Order
Spark Plug is a pack-rat at the ripe old age of almost 4. There is stuff everywhere in her room and anywhere she collects her trinkets. She places her special pieces in their rightful spot. She knows exactly where everything is and belongs. And she even has her footwear ordered according to function.
She has photos lining her bedside table, along with her toothbrush which she refuses to keep among the others in the bathroom that belong to the rest of us plebes. She has flowers, fresh and fake, a self-decorated hand-held mirror, art work, and a piggy bank. There is a table cloth under it all to make it look authentic. A baby blanket is the surface on which all of these treasures rest.
She has her hot pink Tender Tootsies beside her bed. She also has her slippers that make noise for when she is feeling fancy. She then has her pair of 'nighttime slippers' which are Tinkerbell foot covers she got for Christmas and she puts them on as she tucks into bed each night. Downstairs she has her snow boots, of course. And her running shoes for the gymnasium at the Y. But also- her sparkly flip flops. She keeps these in her swim bag for the Y to wear to and from the pool.
This kid cracks me up. She knows exactly where and how she wants everything. She thinks about and executes her plans. She goes through my MIL's place and takes whatever she is allowed to take. After our last visit, Spark Plug came home with a giant plastic bag full of necklaces, framed photos, stuffed animals to add to the already enormous zoo along the side of her bed, toy bird feeder, Tinkerbell plastic cup and plate, and on and on. And it all gets placed.
I don't even bother tidying her bedside table. There's no point. She would just put everything back where it was before. She fiddles with it so much, I doubt there would be any dust collecting on it.
When I accidentally forget to hide the art work at the bottom of the recycling bin, she throws a fit and takes it out again. I apologize, claim my ignorance, and slyly wait for her to forget about it again, snatch it up and bury it for good. If I didn't recycle anything or occasionally pitch out the broken jewellery, we wouldn't be able to move in here.
I can't even imagine what this is going to mature into.
Yes, I can. A fussy, anal, picky, pack-rat who will have every surface covered. With her Jimmy Choos and clothing arranged by colour, function, and season.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Spark Plug
Friday, September 11, 2009
Squashed but loved
Spark Plug is obsessed with snails. Also bugs and caterpillars. The first thing she does is go outside to the sedum plant and pick off the snails that have sought refuge from the drenched soil. She puts them in a jar without a lid. And then the jar tips over.
I am finding tiny snails all over the place. And I foresee the demise of several as they take a ride through the worm hole which is the vacuum hose and into another galaxy- the canister.
Today as she was searching, she found a really fuzzy caterpillar. She took hold of it and carried it around with her for the trip in the van to and from the grocery store. I told her she could take it in the store if she promised to sit in the seat of the cart. That indeed worked. She only dropped it once. In the condiments aisle. And the old lady behind us looked at the black and ochre fuzzball on the floor and then at me with a puzzled look. I simply walked over, picked it up and handed it back to Spark Plug. All before the old lady ran over him with her cart.
Spark Plug is certainly not loyal to any one creature. They are all her favourite. She canoodles and gushes over the snails, takes them on bike rides, and sets them beside her at lunch. But as soon as you bring a furry caterpillar onto the scene, everything changes. She ditches the snails and devotes all of her time and love to the caterpillar. She is such a fair weather friend.
So what happens to these creatures? Well, all of a sudden they enter a deep slumber. Just like the 'sleeping' frog she carried around with her in the pool. It took Hubby to distract her while I chucked it over the fence. I then had to convince her that he woke up and hopped off to his mommy.
Back to the point- the critters have been so loved that they change shape. They are either flattened, broken, or balded. Yes, Spark Plug had bits of caterpillar hair all over her shirt. She literally scared the fuzz off the poor thing.
Like the Christmas cookie sprinkles that I find tucked into the smallest of crevices well into January, I suspect I will be finding snails and ladybugs randomly throughout the house for months to come.
I just hope she is nowhere in sight when the long, shiny, arm comes to take them to a better place. The place with the stale Cheerios and dog hair. And the Christmas cookie sprinkles.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Update: I found a snail shell in the washing machine this morning as I was putting clothes in the dryer.
PPS Congrats to LC who won the Always Infinity Giveaway! YAY!
PPS Who's DDM is up but some of it was cut off, so I have to go in and put up the rest. Sorry.
Labels: Spark Plug
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Unattached from the hip
Back to school today. EvieG started first grade and Spark Plug started back at her preschool. They were both super excited. All went well for them both. And for me.
To properly prepare for Grade 1, EvieG coloured her own school bag. This bag was given to her by Uncle Jeff for her birthday. It is made by Alex and came with permanent markers. She coloured in the black and white print to make it her own. And she was told several times today that it was 'cool'. My kid is cool. Complete with perfectly folded over socks.
We got out the breakfast bowls and cereal last night. She selected her outfit, put it out neatly, and then got herself up and dressed. She even brushed her hair and teeth. She could then go downstairs and help herself to her breakfast. She knows where the milk is.
With first grade comes a whole new set of responsibility. She is a big kid now. She goes to school all day, five days a week. She thinks this is great.
Back to the sock thing. She has to wear socks. Even with her Crocs. She says that she has to be careful of staples and thumb tacks. Like a sock is going to save her from a sharp object impaling itself into her heel. She pulls them up as high as they will reach and then folds each one down neatly. She makes her own version of a tube sock.
Spark Plug also picked out her outfit for school. She got up and asked for piggy tails today. She had her backpack ready to go- Barbie and the Dancing Princesses with their little poodle pups in their arms all Paris Hilton like. Great. Spark Plug is my girly-girl, hands down.
She gladly went to school today and barely said good-bye. She set off to play. This is fantastic and I am glad she left my side so willingly to play and learn. And to drive it home just how happy she was to leave me, she refused to come with me at the end of the day. That is right, folks. Spark Plug threw a rangy in the yard and then proceeded to sprint away from me to find solace in the play house. I practically dragged her by the arms kicking and screaming as her teachers told her over and over, "You can come back another day! We will see you soon!"
Both kids ran away from me and into this new school routine without a second thought. I didn't think I was that boring to be around. I was almost offended. But not quite. Two less to watch is alright by me!
Just The Destroyer and me. Oh, wait. She is like three kids in one.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: EvieG, Spark Plug
Friday, August 7, 2009
Christmas Lights
B ackground: While we are away on our annual family holiday to northern Ontario, we make a point of noticing all the houses in town that have Christmas lights up all year long. We can realistically say that close to 50% of all homes have decorations edging the eaves troughs. And all varieties too. Icicle lights, multi-coloured LED mini-bulbs, and regular large bulbs. This habit of pointing out Christmas lights has transferred into our everyday car travels now. And beyond.
 The Wee Ladies point out and holler at the top of their lungs, "Christmas lights!" every time they see them and on a variety of buildings. Houses obviously, but also local bars who display their nighttime twinklers to entice their patrons, storefronts, restaurants, and even trees.
It was today that the Christmas lights shenanigans were taken to another level.
While at the beach, Spark Plug was busy making Cinderella's castle with Snow White's digs next door. They were even lined with stones and sticks. It was quite remarkable really and she has taken her castle-making abilities to a place where The Destroyer is no longer smashing them. I think she knows that if she so-help-her-soul even breathed near them, she would lose her head.
While Spark Plug was decorating her castles, The Destroyer grabbed her yellow pail. Still with a bit of sand in the bottom, she put the bucket on her head, its white handle serving as a chin strap. Sand lining her eyebrows, nostrils, and lips, she looked at me with her biggest gap-toothed grin and shouted, "Christmas lights!"
I buckled over in laughter.
She then proceeded to repeat this act with the pink pail, followed by the green pail. There was a fine layer of sand covering her face.
Spark Plug giggling, tossed her the blue pail to finish off the line of colours.
Her mind clearly on the side of someone's house, thought for a minute that she would make a perfect Christmas light. And she did a perfect impression as she stood straight, still, and with a sparkle in her eyes.
Who knew she would be method acting at the age of 2?
A bright light she is.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Congrats to L.C. for winning the Ni Hao, Kai-Lan DVD! Thanks to all who entered to win! More contests coming up! Keep checking back!
PPS Who's DDM is up if you haven't checked yet.
Labels: Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Monday, June 29, 2009
Understanding toddlerese
As I was at the sink washing up the dishes this afternoon, Hubby was on our back patio with the Wee Ladies. I had just put some toys back in the toy chest. With my back to the action, I heard:
Spark Plug: Where's my horsey, Daddy?
Hubby: Your horsey?
Spark Plug: Yeah! My horsey!
Hubby: Hmmmm. Your horsey...
Not looking and assuming Hubby didn't know what he or Spark Plug was talking about because I am a mom and am fluent in toddlerese, I piped up without thinking twice:
DDM: It was right in here beside the toy chest. Her purple My Little Pony horsey was on the floor and I just threw it in the chest a second ago.
Hubby: No, that's not her horsey.
DDM: Oh? Well, what is her horsey?
Spark Plug: Horsey! My horsey! Neigh! Neigh!
Hubby: It's my 9 iron.
Of course it is. I should have known better. I may be fluent in the interpretation of the toddlerese language but I clearly have some difficulty understanding its meaning.
Just like when The Destroyer asks for a coffee, which really means "I want another hit of juice." Her drug is sugar; mine is caffeine.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Click here to check out my column at Scarlett Lounge. Labels: DDM, Hubby, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Spark Plug turns on her Blue Steel
Spark Plug calls herself 'big'. She told me the other day how she wants to be big all the time, not little. She is feeling more independent, confident, and proud. This is great and we really saw it today in her nursery school graduation celebration.
Last year she had an end of year celebration at the pre-school she went to. Her class went up on stage and sang their little number. Spark Plug freaked out the entire time while on stage. She stood centre-stage with her arms sticking out straight towards me wailing like I was leaving her there forever. There was so much water streaming down her cheeks that it blurred the bumble bee make up. She was telling me through her panicked breaths that I had clearly put her in an uncomfortable situation and shame on me for making her stand up there.
How the tides have turned.
During today's ceremony, Spark Plug was one step away from performing Zoolander's Blue Steel.  She was on fire, magical, magnificent. I have have never seen a kid work a camera like she did today. She strutted out onto the stage glowing. She beamed at us, clapped her hands, and skipped an extra skip. She sat down in her chair in the front row and enthusiastically smiled her biggest smile to show her pearly whites that she had checked during her first trip to the dentist yesterday. Her little piggy tails wee bouncing as she did the actions for their songs. But before she started getting involved in her performance, her teachers had to capture her attention. Away from the cameras. There she was, sitting in her chair, posing. She was eating it up! I heard the teachers call her name and finally, she took her eyes away from the lens and began the show of her life, singing and actions complete. She received her little certificate. When her name was called, she got up from her chair, walked proudly to her teacher, took the paper, and turned to the camera. In one swift movement, she turned on the smile and looked for the flash. She was complimented by many after the ceremony.
What do I do with this? I am oozing with pride that she is gaining confidence but am scared silly at the same time. Where did this come from? Who told her to turn it up like that? What is it in her that makes her love the stage and flash so much? For a child who is usually quite shy and prickly, it leaves me wondering.
She is growing so quickly. Really. She is even complaining that her legs hurt every now and then. She ate 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, 4 baby carrots, 4 pieces of cucumber, and 2 servings of blueberries for lunch yesterday. Her feet are gigantic. Her legs long. I think she is going to be taller than me, judging by her feet alone, like you would predict the size of a puppy based on its paws.
I am not one to encourage the starlet in them. But as of today this kid seems to have some natural starlet in her. We will just have to make sure that she uses her ability to love the stage and camera for the better. Not in a Miley Cyrus sort of way. Because there is no way that I want the Wee Ladies to go anywhere near that whole 'kid star's are cool' mentality.
I just want them to be them. Even if they are making up their own version of Blue Steel.
All's I'm sayin's all.
Labels: Spark Plug
Monday, June 1, 2009
Should I dare ask about a level 5 camping trip?
We went to Florida tonight. What a great trip it was to the backyard! We didn't actually leave the house, but talked a lot about it! I am glad EvieG and Spark Plug enjoyed the process of planning, packing, and finding their passports.
EvieG announced that she and Spark Plug were off to the van and then to the airport with the intention of landing in Florida where they would walk to Grandma's Florida house. This then changed to Grandma picking them up at the airport because they didn't want to get lost, or carry their luggage very far.
The bags contained their stuffed animals, books, a toy microphone because you never know when they might get a gig, one toothbrush, a hairbrush, and the handle to the Swiffer 360. Good thing they remembered that because you never know when you might have to clean all around you, or who you might sit next to on the plane. I always thought something like this would be useful if you needed to swat the person next to you.
We went to our travel folder in the filing cabinet and retrieved our passports from 2006. Spark Plug was born in 2006. She was only a few months old in her photo. Her passport is up for renewal this year which is a good thing because if we had to travel anywhere right now, they probably wouldn't let her through security. The picture bears no resemblance to her whatsoever and I would likely be detained, we would miss our flight, and then I would have to deal with the over-exhaustion of the Wee Ladies in an airport and on a plane. All I would want is a box of Timbits for them but instead I would probably be questioned about the legitimacy of my daughter, to which I would tell them all about how I gained 60 lbs, had her, lost it when I got pregnant again, probably around the same time her passport picture was taken, and then tossed out a third kid a few months after that. They would see that the only other traveling I have done is going over the border to Detroit to buy Cookie Crisp cereal at Target. I wouldn't have to have a mug shot taken. They could just use my passport photo.
I asked if I was going too. EvieG told me that they had to get to the airport somehow; that she didn't know how to drive the van. I was in my robe! I hadn't packed yet! And then the trip to Florida morphed into a camping trip out in the backyard after EvieG confessed in my ear that she was 'just pretending'. I was still sitting and staring at the passport pictures during this confession. I was just about to go upstairs and pull out my home-waxing kit before throwing my flip flops and bathing suit in a bag.
She and Spark Plug proceeded to lug out 2 kitchen table chairs, a quilt, the electric vacuum for the 'quick' jobs, a rock to keep the vacuum upright, and one of Hubby's hiking boots, to set the camping mood. They worked well together as the attempted to assemble their tent. They were adamant that they were going to sleep outside. I asked, "How will you stay dry? It's going to rain tonight." EvieG replied by getting the dry cleaning plastic from over a sweater I picked up today. She had her fly ready to go. She even put sticky tape over the hole where the hanger stuck out. MENSA.
It is about 8 degrees Celsius right now and she did this whole assembly in nothing but her underwear. She didn't even notice the goose bumps rising all over her little body. Spark Plug was out there in her polyester Dora nightie and pink floral socks. Tough Cookies.
We finally pulled the chute on them. We had to break the news gently. The trip was over. The camping trip was done. The tent was not quite there, but almost. There is time to work on it tomorrow. EvieG was so disappointed. She said, "But Mom, this is a level 2 camping trip!"
I said, "A what?"
"A level 2 camping trip!" she retorted. "A level 1 is the tent in the living room. A level 2 is in the backyard! And a level 3 is in the front yard! I have only ever done a level 1!"
Confused, I then demanded clarification. "Well then, what is a level 4?"
Looking at me like I am the dumbest person in the world, she matter-of-factly responded with, "That's in my room."
Wow. That would be a huge challenge, a level 4. I don't know if she could survive that high demanding, uncomfortable, test-you-to-your-core-in-the-wilderness-tactical camping trip, or anyone else for that matter. It just might be unbearable. She might not come out alive. Never mind the skunks and coyotes. The monster in the closet might come and get her. It might be worse than Survivor.
MENSA.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Speaking of travel, click here to check out my column at Scarlett Lounge!
PPS I had fun doing the GAWK 'n TOO but it took me the rest of the weekend to recover. I am out of practice.
Labels: EvieG, Family, Spark Plug
Monday, April 20, 2009
Spark Plug Scare
Yesterday was a freaky one. Spark Plug had to be taken to the hospital and given a once-over because she woke up lethargic and out of it. It was scary and I reached an all time anxiety high.
When Spark Plug was an infant, she experienced a couple of what was described as 'petit mal' seizures. She would blank out in a total daze and after about a minute, she would come around but jerked her head a couple of times. After that she was fine. So I followed up by getting my GP to send us to a pediatrician and to a children's hospital for an EEG. Everything turned out alright and we were told that kids sometimes have these brain storms and that they usually grow out of them. That was the last that we saw of these things. Until yesterday morning.
The Destroyer and EvieG got up as usual around 7:30 am. Spark Plug got up whimpering and wandered into our room and tucked herself into our bed to continue sleeping. This is unusual for her because she is the one who opens our blinds at the crack of dawn yelling, "Get up! It's a sunny day!" But because we have been really busy outside and on the go, I thought she was just tired. So we let her sleep in a little. This sleep in went on and on. After checking on her a few times and watching her come in and out of sleep, I noticed that she was having trouble waking up. At about 8:45 am, I tried to get her going. She would not. She just wanted to lay in bed with her eyes closed. I tried sitting her up and she would just fall back. She was lethargic with no muscle resistance or movement. She was not alert and was a little out of it. I tried to get her dressed, but she was not assisting or even aware that I was putting her socks on.
We gave her some juice thinking that her blood sugar might be really low. She took the whole cup started coming around a little bit. Hubby took her into the Emerg.
By the time they got into the doctor, she had totally perked up. The doctor there seemed to think she had experienced another petit mal seizure. And that we witnessed the after effects of it, being the lethargy and confusion. I don't know. It was all so bizarre because there were no other symptoms that went with it. She didn't have a temperature or anything. She was fine the night before.
I spoke with a neurologist who suggested we follow up with a pediatric neurologist. He said he hopes she didn't have a convulsion in her sleep. He seemed to think that her lethargy was more characteristic of a convulsion. This really freaks me out. I have booked her into our GP where we can hopefully we can get a referral. We will have to get to the bottom of this weirdness.
She was fine when they got home and has been fine since. No more symptoms. I was told to watch to see if she zones out during the day. We were also told to put a monitor in our room to hear any cries out in the night or other bizarre noises. Since her room is like 4 feet away from ours, we will keep the door wide open so we can listen. Her door is usually closed.
I am scared. I am worried about what this was, what the problem is, and I am determined to get some help with it. I was talking to a girlfriend about the anxiety a mom feels when something is not right with her child. I can calmly and carefully handle a problem in a classroom of 20 kids, no problem. But when it comes to my own kids, I feel ill, anxious, and panicked when something goes wrong. It is amazing to me.
Spark Plug drew her first family portrait. It is awesome. Check it out below.  All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Spark Plug
Friday, April 3, 2009
Spark Plug brings in three years with sugar
Spark Plug announced, "I love my bir-day, Mommy!" this morning while we drove EvieG to school. I'll take that as another mission accomplished. We had a birthday celebration yesterday that was certainly Estrogen-Only. Flowers was the theme. Initially I thought tulips, but could only find flowers of all varieties. It worked well.  EvieG was at school yesterday which actually worked out well because Spark Plug and I had a lot of time together, especially when The Destroyer was napping. We prepared, played outside, read books, iced her cake, got dressed. It was really fantastic. We both enjoyed the time. After school, another little friend came over and the party started. We had pancakes, fruit, cake, ice cream, presents, and finished it off with a trip to the back 40 where the Wee Ladies proceeded to wade through a foot of water. Ending the party with wailing due to cold water up to their knees and mega soakers, we settled them down with a warm bath and books. They needed some down time because they were wired after the sugarfest. Only an estrogen-only party would be guaranteed to end with crying and discontent. Spark Plug had a blast. She lapped up all the attention and wishes she had a birthday everyday. It was tough to explain to the other Wee Ladies that it was Spark Plug's special day and that we had to support her and make sure she had a good time. I explained that everyone has one special day a year and it is important to be happy for that person. EvieG understood and after a couple of snits, realized the truth and helped make Spark Plug's birthday a real fun one. The Destroyer was just fine. She did run off with her new crown and princess shoes a couple of times. You must remember my cake from EvieG's party last summer. Click here for a refresher. I made another DDM classic- a chocolate cake in the shape of a tulip. I carved out the tulip shape myself...no special pan for this one! It wasn't from a box either, but it was close. Our oven is a little inconsistent and the middle took an extra long time to bake. The outside was a little crisp. I included greens and all for special effect. Check it out....  I loved planning and executing this shin dig. It was great fun for everyone. All's I'm sayin's all. PS Thanks for reading! I will be back next week with more! Labels: Family, Fun, Spark Plug
Monday, March 30, 2009
Watch it! She's gonna blow!
It's amazing how some days my fuse can be shorter than others. This morning my fuse was short and I let it blow. The Wee Ladies were getting under my skin. By the end of the day, I am fine, although tired as my nerves are have reached their maximum capacity.
For some reason getting them ready and out the door seemed like it took forever. EvieG was running around, The Destroyer ran away from me whenever possible, and Spark Plug threw hissy fits when I tried to get her dressed which resulted in her banging her head on my jaw and then I bit my tongue. I was pissed.
I got seriously agitated and used my mommy voice to get them all standing in line side by side, arms tightly hugging their torsos and feet together. It didn't take on for them to figure out that I meant business. There would be no more dilly-dallying.
I always feel guilty for getting all drill sergeant on them, but sometimes I have to when I need to get stuff done. Guilt aside, it does feel good knowing that they understand that it probably is not a good idea to mess with mom when her fuse gets short. And so they listened, followed directions, and we were then able to efficiently accomplish the morning tasks.
Bed time is another time when my fuse can get short, although I am learning to let it slide. The Destroyer and Spark Plug insist on playing and messing around in their room until, well, until they fall down. I can put them back into their beds 80 million times but they still play. Blankets all over, stuffed animals thrown about. The Destroyer opens the door and peeks her eye through the crack. I hear her sucking on her soother. I did get annoyed that they were not going to bed and that they were disturbing everyone in the house, but on the other hand, I figure, at least they are playing together well. It means that our night is that much shorter.
It is hard to keep my cool some days, especially when I am hormonal. I find that those days my tolerance level is not close to zero. I have to keep telling myself to take it easy, breathe, and that they are only wee.
I have let my fuse get to its end. Some days I can only take so much before I feel fried. As much as I feel badly about it, I get over it pretty easily. We're moms. We don't have time to dwell.
All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Battle, EvieG, Guilt, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Friday, March 27, 2009
I have tu-lips
Spark Plug turns 3 next week. I can't believe that she is three already. We were discussing birthday plans this morning. All 5 of of us were snuggling in bed-
DDM: Your birthday is next!
Spark Plug: It's my birfday?
DDM: Yes! Your birthday! It is going to be fun! It was my birthday and now it is your turn!
Spark Plug: Me?
DDM: Yep. And we are going to have a party and a cake. And everything is going to be tulips! We are going to have tulips everywhere!
Spark Plug: But Mommy- you have 2 wips. Right dere! (she points to my mouth and touches my lips)
Hysterical laughter from all....
DDM: Ohhhhh, not two lips on my mouth.....tu-lips the flowers!
Spark Plug: I have 2 wips!
DDM: Yes. Yes, you do.
I bet that the Spring tulips smell way better than the morning breath that accompanied my 2 wips.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Have a great weekend. We are busy decorating for Easter, planning Spark Plug's tu-wip party and catching chipmunks....
Labels: DDM, Spark Plug
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
To pull over or not?
A car trip would not be complete without a juice cup or favourite stuffed animal or soother falling from a child's hands onto the floor at the side of their seat. When this happens, a mom is met with, "My juice! My juice!", or "Doggy! Doggy!", or "Soo soo! Soo Soo!" The question them becomes, Should I pull over to get the toy? The other question is, Should I try and reach my arm back to retrieve the fallen object?I have had this happen countless times. And to answer the questions, I have done both. I have had to pull off the road to return a lost Doggy to The Destroyer on a few occasions. Her soother too. This is generally not safe, especially when whizzing down a major 400 highway and then you have to find the nearest exit, glide down the off ramp and pull over onto the gravel shoulder. It is in times of bad weather, like freezing rain, that this become extremely problematic. But it is a risk we take. We have to weigh our options carefully. Deciding whether or not the retrieval is worth it. There are many variables to consider when problem solving in a situation like this. How much longer will you be on the road? Did the kid(s) nap? Are they about to? Do they need the object to fall asleep? Will the retrieval allow for some quiet time so you can concentrate on the road and traffic without spending the next two hours listening to a screaming child in Dolby Stereo? Where is the next service station? How long can you go before completely losing your mind?The other set of questions to consider when deciding what your next move will be are: Where did the object fall and land? Is it still in the seat itself, just out of reach? Can I reach back and get it? Without driving off the road? I have done this too. This also is generally unsafe. So either way we are in a risky situation after a favourite object has dropped. I have secured my one foot on the accelerator; left hand firmly on the steering wheel. I have straightened my legs and right arm and reached back to the car seat, felt around, found the soother, and stuck it back in her mouth, all while watching the road. Anyone who says moms are not the QUEENS of multi-tasking are lying. Peace. For another five minutes. Until the Wee Lady has decided to turn the dropping-the-security-Doggy into a big game. Repeated dropping. On purpose. I hate this game. Crap. Now what? I can't keep reaching back and I can't keep pulling over, otherwise a) we might crash and die, or b) we will be 5 hours behind schedule. The solution? Crabby mom! TheD: Doggy! Doggy! Spark Plug: My juice! My juice! Cup! Cup! Waaahhhhh! EvieG: Mom, I dropped my crayons and I can't colour now! DDM: Well guess what, sweethearts! Tough! That's right! You will have to wait until we pull over at the next stop! I am trying to drive and you are just going to have to sit there and look out the window! You understand me? Wee Ladies: Yeeeees. A risk indeed. We have to wait to see how it will all play out in these situations and then reassess. Or just keep a cooler of snacks or box of Timbits beside you in the front and toss back a few to shut them up. Wait. Who am I kidding? I can't even leave the parking lot of Tim Horton's without pulling over. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes to keep your self intact. It's all about your survival. All's I'm sayin's all. PS March Who's DDM? is up! Head on over to check it out! Labels: Battle, DDM, EvieG, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Monday, March 2, 2009
Days in
It has been a long, cold winter and it sometimes makes the days painful when you can't get the kids outside for any period of time. EvieG has become stir crazy on days she is home and it is really cold. So she has taken to our closet in our bedroom and made it into her fortress.
She and Spark Plug played up there for a while on and off over the weekend. They had it blockaded off to prevent intruders. They had belts and Hubby's ties stretching from one side to the other. She set up beds in our underwear and socks baskets; complete with pillows and blankets. They were even kind enough to let The Destroyer in for a second, but quickly dismissed her, fearing the fort would be ruined.
I love watching imaginative play and I love that they are playing together more and more. Sometimes they close the door and play nicely in their room. And when I open the door to check on them, they shout, "No, Mommy!" and slam the door in my face. Nenny with Twins just experienced the shut out for the first time recently. They want their privacy already. What is going to happen when they are teenagers? Am I going to have to text them to come for dinner? Heaven forbid I knock politely and peek my head in. I will make sure that if there are any boys over, that the door stays open and we apply the two-feet-on-the-floor-at-all-times-rule.
It is not fun though when they start getting stir crazy and they get all silly. It is like they have been stuck in a cage for a month and are begging to be freed. They begin to cackle, their eyes get big, and they jump from room to room declaring that they are frogs jumping from lily pad to lily pad. And they start singing songs to get each other giggling and know that if they use any words like stinky and bum, that they are guaranteed to get a reaction from their sisters who are rolling around on the floor and their mother who is wagging her finger in their face.
Today the temperature is still bitterly cold. Too cold to be out for more than 5 minutes, especially when The Destroyer is inevitably going to remove her hat and mitts to stomp around. I am always finding a trail in her wake. I don't think I will ever be able to lose sight of her.
We went to our local Early Years Centre this morning and the Wee Ladies played and romped around for an hour and a half. It was perfect. They could unleash some energy and I had the chance to hang out with other moms. It's nice to have a place like this available for us. It is a great way for socializing. I know that I get stir crazy too sometimes and I always feel guilty the days where we stay inside all day.
As I was cleaning up the fortress I noticed that I am going to have to get the vacuum in there. They decided to serve some appetizers. I see the left over bread stick crumbs.
I just hope I don't find the tub of hummus in my underwear basket.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Congrats to Lisa M, Cheryl W, Stephanie H, Mary T, and Candace P for winning the 5 Green-School totes! I hope you love it!
PPS This month's Who's DDM? will be up and running ASAP. Keep checking back!
Labels: EvieG, Guilt, Nenny with Twins, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Friday, February 20, 2009
Coffee fumes
Spark Plug: What's that smell? EvieG: Mom, what is that smell? DDM: It's that truck in front of us. It is the exhaust that smells. It is yucky isn't it? EvieG: It still smells. Is it that cement truck beside us? DDM: No, that is the same smell from the truck that just turned a second ago. After driving through for a coffee: EvieG: I smell that truck at the light! Spark Plug: No. That's mommy's coffee. EvieG: Oh. All's I'm sayin's all. PS Have a great weekend! Thanks for reading and I will be back on Monday. Labels: DDM, EvieG, Spark Plug
Friday, February 13, 2009
I can't hear it, please.
We used to have a CD player in the van that held and shuffled 4 CDs. Now we only have one working CD compartment. The other 3 have been jammed with coffee change, thanks to The Destroyer. I always said that I would only play age-appropriate music for the Wee Ladies. I find that I am slowly moving away from this and have gradually been introducing them to radio and music genres of all kinds.
To clarify, The Destroyer would climb all over the front seats at our old house while Hubby was putzing around in the front yard, or in the garage. With the keys out of the ignition, she would eject CDs, honk the horn so many times that the neighbours would give Hubby the stink-eye through the curtains, and apparently successfully jammed the CD and cassette players with coffee money.
I realized what had happened when I tried to reload new CDs, only to get a grinding noise, followed by the Loading Error across the screen.
What do we listen to then? We listen to The Sound of Music soundtrack on repeat, and frankly, I am getting irritated hearing Liesl admit how naive she is when it comes to the world of men. And her boyfriend Rolf telling her that she needs an older man to depend on. EvieG is in love with this musical. They all sing along. EvieG knows most of the lyrics, to all of the songs, Spark Plug sings some of them and totally out of tune. The Destroyer sings Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on repeat because that is all she knows. She has attempted Do-Re-Mi.
Because our children's CD collection is getting old and scratched and the player is destroyed, I have moved towards the radio a little bit more. In the past few weeks the Wee Ladies have experienced the variety of sounds our local radio station has to offer. Everything from classic rock to new Beyonce. They have pretty much been Journeyed to death, know that Dude looks like a lady, that Britney's boyfriend is a womanizer, Lady Gaga gambles, and if he liked it, he should have put a ring on it. I told them more than words is all they ever need to make it real. I keep telling them love is a battlefield.
But today- today they heard and raised the roof to one of my personal favourites: Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order. Oh yes, they did. It was a proud moment for me. I even called Nenny with Twins to tell her the good news.
Auntie Vee who lives in England is a good friend who taught EvieG to raise the roof when she was 2. We were on the road and we were cruising along to Madonna. We were rocking and led by positive example. Ever since that day, it is mandatory that the Wee Ladies know and understand the importance of raising their hands in the air while listening to tunes in the car.
Volume control is an issue. EvieG likes to hear things loud and clear. Spark Plug is extra sensitive and covers her ears when it rains. So finding the balance can sometimes be challenging. I am always trying to find the right balance between the front, back, right, and left areas of the van. EvieG will catch a snippet of something she likes and will state, "I can't hear it, please." This means, TURN IT UP, MA! I WANNA ROCK THIS JOINT. She is so polite in her asking, isn't she?
I can never seem to get the volume control right. If we put the sound in the back only, I still like to hear it. Hubby will open the side door to get the Wee Ladies unbuckled and ask, "Can you hear it? Do you realize how loud it is back here?" No wonder Spark Plug is covering her ears. I am always having to turn it up for EvieG and down for Spark Plug. So I have decided to make sure that the volume is equally represented between the front and back. That way we can all listen and enjoy Mr. Big together.
Spark Plug is picky. She told me to get rid of Black Cars. If the music selection does not meet her high standards, she says, "I don't like it. I don't want it! Too Loud!" Hmmmmph. Party pooper.
As we cruised along to Tom Petty's Free Fallin', much to Spark Plug's dismay, I told Hubby, "The last time I drove down this road to this tune I was in my early 20's. Only then it was just me, a smoke, and a can of Diet Coke in my parent's Ford Explorer. I never thought I would do it again minus the nicotine and aspartame with three kids and a husband in a mini van. How things change." Hubby laughed and rolled his eyes.
I am okay with exposing the Wee Ladies to different music now. I am over the all children's music, all day, commercial-free way of thinking. If I hear anything inappropriate, I will change it or turn it off. I am not going to expose them to music with easy-to-follow, questionable lyrics. Even if I did, they wouldn't get it anyway. I remember dancing around my room when I was 8 and singing, Like a Virgin at the top of my lungs. I had no clue what I was saying. I didn't know what She Bop by Cyndi Lauper was about. So would the Wee Ladies understand that James Blunt was intoxicated when he saw a beautiful angel on the subway? Nope. EvieG loves that song. And I censor the foul parts. When the bad words come along, I shout, "LALALALALALALALA!" to drown it out. She is none the wiser.
We will still play children's music. Lots of it. But I will also make sure they know what good music is, classic and modern. Does Ned's Atomic Dustbin count as good music? To me it does.
Maybe I should get Hubby to fix the CD and cassette players in the van. There might be some Olympic coins hiding in there for our collection.
All's I'm sayin's all.
PS Have a great weekend! It is a long weekend here in Ontario and we will be going away. I will be back online next Tuesday. Labels: DDM, EvieG, Responsibility, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Coin collection obsession
I don't hoard and I try not to keep stuff around to pile up. And so it is not surprising that I am typically not one for collections. The only collections I ever had were a sticker collection when I was 8 and a chewed gum collection on the side of my dresser in my room. My in-laws came to visit last weekend and my MIL brought three RBC Olympic coin collector cards for the Wee Ladies. It has become a mission to find 3 of each coin for them, even at the risk of losing coffee money.  Still stuck on the chewed gum collection? It grossed most of my friends out, except my one best pal who had one of her own. And we contributed to each other's too. We would chew a wad of gum until there was no flavour left. We would get it all balled up, remove it from our mouths, and placed it in its designated spot. I think I had around 40 pieces. It smelled really nice and fruity as I made my way to the bathroom. We were so proud of our accomplishment.  My MIL thought it would be a good idea to have the Wee Ladies collect coins in celebration of the 2010 winter Olympics in Vancouver. So she brought the cards along with a few coins to get them started. We got them placed appropriately and glanced at the chart to confirm which ones were in circulation and which ones we have to wait patiently for. And now we search, collect, and wait for new ones to come from the Royal Canadian Mint. There are 17 to collect in all. EvieG has 6. Spark Plug and The Destroyer both have 3. EvieG has doubled them. My MIL thinks that come the time, they should all trade to make sure they end up with them all. I don't know. Here's what I foresee- DDM: (accepting change from my Starbucks grande mild with double cream) Oh look! I just got the curler! Do we have that one yet? EvieG: No! I want the curler for my collection! DDM: Well, what about your sisters? Spark Plug: I want it! TheD: Ahhhhhhhh! EvieG: Well, I think that we should fill up my card first. And then we can add to Spark Plug's and then to The Destroyer's. How's that sound? DDM: Hmmmm, that's not really fair is it? Can we come up with another idea? Maybe you can trade one of your coins with Spark Plug for the curler? EvieG: Nooooo! I don't want to lose my coins! She has a point. Why don't we just fill up one card at a time? Do Spark Plug and The Destroyer really know what is going on? At least EvieG can actively participate. I think we might have to do this all stealth like because there is no way we will have 3 of the same coin all the time. And if we make it a very public addition to one of the collector cards, and it is not Spark Plug's, she will have a rangy for sure. With this collecting in mind, I have now become obsessed with looking at all quarters and loonies. I am searching through coffee change, my wallet, through pockets, Hubby's change, and am even planning my payments with the intent of receiving quarters for change. What is happening to me? Will I not rest until all 51 coins are in their rightful spots? I will not rest until this task is completed. This is going to drive me to insanity if I am searching for Olympic change for the next year. And you know I will get really annoyed if I keep getting the same figure skating pair over and over and over again. Or if I keep seeing that regular caribou, or special addition in celebration of Canada's veterans. And all I will need is one more. The Olympics will come and go and it will be the damn speed skater that I needed. EvieG is the star of the week at school. We sent her off yesterday with her favourite books, some pictures of the family to share with her class and then the piece de resistance- the coin collection. And she told her class all about it. I am making her into a obsessive collecting freak. We will get them all. Oh yes, we will. I lied. I just remembered my other collection. Bazooka Joe comics.   All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Battle, DDM, EvieG, Mission, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Friday, February 6, 2009
The birth order of things
The birth order amazes me. From the first to the second to the third child you see the characteristics and behaviours that are apparently 'typical', even though we try not to make our Wee Ladies products of birth order norms. Or do we contribute to it a little bit? Take EvieG. She is the first born. She is fiercely independent, Type A, orderly, helpful, obedient, hates to disappoint, and can be a bit of an over-achiever. She is academic oriented, yet artsy. She is sensitive and emotional. She worries. I am always encouraging her and telling her how proud I am of her. She eats it up and then tries to outdo herself. Some say she is a typical first born. Spark Plug is our second oldest. I hate the term 'middle child'. We prefer not to use it. I am a middle child. I, like Spark Plug was fiery, and some would argue I still am. People always say how the middle child gets tossed to the side because the expectations are set for the oldest to abide by and the youngest needs the attention. I don't buy it. Spark Plug is sharp, adorably sweet, thoughtful, and loyal. She can be very demanding and temperamental but she is also often very sensitive and eager to please. She tries so hard to be a 'big girl'. She is doing more and more all by herself and we are proud. People also justify her behaviour by saying, "Oh, she's the middle child and they are just like that." That bothers me. We don't blame improper actions on her place within the birth order. It is a combination of our parenting combined with her talent of manipulating us. We spend just as much time with Spark Plug as the others, and sometimes more. She likes to be in the spotlight. She refuses to be tossed aside. She would never be anyway because we wouldn't let that happen. Some say her sparkiness is typical of a middle child. The Destroyer is the baby. And she tries her hardest to be heard. All the time. She is easy going and strong. She is tough as nails will get right up and keep going when she falls. She needs to keep up with the rest of them. And so she has developed quicker than the others in all areas. She also picks up all the bad habits of the others. She is most cuddly. She is super sensitive and anytime she makes me angry because she has pinched her sister yet again, she puts her hands over her face and cries (or pretends to). She says weeping, "Sorry, Mummy." She hates to disappoint. But she is physical and solid. She pushes back, pinches, and stands her ground. If the others bang into her accidentally, The Destroyer is usually the one left standing. Some would say she is a typical baby of the family. Do we ask EvieG to do too much and accept responsibility for too many things? Maybe sometimes. But we also make sure she stays a kid and let her explore and express herself as she needs to, in a way that encourages her positive growth. Do we give into Spark Plug? Yes. At times. I get mad at myself sometimes for doing so. Because now she has a bad habit of whining to get attention and to get what she wants. She is growing out of it, but she still does it. And I still give her the attention. I don't regret it because I know she will turn out just fine. Do we baby The Destroyer too much? Sure. Sometimes I am guilty of this. And she has me figured out. She knows the right time to come in for the cuddle, to say sorry, to give me a hug. And then she quits her crying and is laughing in the moments following. She is a mummy's girl and her wanting to be with me leads to my letting my guard down sometimes. But I also let her manage on her own a lot. And so she has to survive to keep up with the others, so she is also very independent. While the Wee Ladies naturally fit in their respective categories according to birth order characteristics, we also definitely contribute to shaping that too. A little bit. Even though I try to stay away from being typical. Because I am not satisfied with being typical. And don't want the Wee Ladies to be typical either. All's I'm sayin's all. PS Who's DDM should be up and running today. It will be most definitely up over the weekend. PPS Have a great weekend! My in-laws are coming to visit. The Wee Ladies are so excited, as are we, and Hubby and I get to go skiing tomorrow! Thanks to my MIL and FIL. Labels: EvieG, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
My Entourage
Everywhere I go my entourage comes with me. I have them wrapped around my finger, they usually do as I ask, and go wherever I go. They also keep me on routine and will let me know if I divert from the schedule. They depend on me to keep them busy and going. I also realize and admit that I depend on them just as much. We make a great team. The three members of my entourage play distinct roles. They all have certain jobs, some with more responsibility than others. The smallest of the group keeps my meal times on schedule. By continually going into the cupboard and bringing food to me, we keep each other full. She also keeps me spry. By threatening to destroy the place, I am always on my toes. The middle manager makes sure we are dressed and have brushed hair and teeth. She makes sure we have an appropriate amount of product applied every day. We stick to a routine that keeps us looking presentable. She always makes her demands and feelings known. She is an open communicator. The oldest of my entourage carries the brunt of the responsibility. She keeps me on schedule, she cleans up after us, and makes sure the beds are made. One day when I had an outside commitment, I came home to a tidied living area and clean dishes. The only problem was that she slightly grazed her index finger with a serrated knife while she was in a sink full of dishes. She sometimes plans events for us, like a trip to the ice cream store, or a party. She brings me flowers. She gives me the best back-scratches. My entourage follows me everywhere I go. We are our own posse and people move to the edge of the sidewalk to let us pass. We turn heads. People notice us. I choose to think that it is not because of the loud screeching or running all over the place and that instead it is our unique and strong stage presence. I sometimes have to get bossy as the head honcho of my entourage. I shoot my mouth off with statements like: -Hurry up! We are going to be late! -Did you hear what I said? -Can you bring that to me please? -Don't be rude to me! -Follow my instructions and stay with me! -Can you take this for me please? -That is not how we behave! -Good job! -Don't touch! I depend on my entourage just as much and have to perform to the best of my ability to make sure they are happy and satisfied as members of my team. They keep me in line and I do my best to meet their demands. We have an agreement in place that will last the better part of 18 years. There is some room for negotiation. I don't want any to become completely disgruntled. That would be bad and then they would become unmanageable. As stated in the contract, I am in this for the long haul. I often here things like: -I don't like that! -I don't want that snack! -I want to wear my Tinkerbells! I don't want to get dressed in that! -I want to stay home! -I'm ready! I want to go too! -I'm hungry! -JUICE!!!! -I need to go potty! -Get up! It's a sunny day! -Thanks! -That's beautiful! Most days I love having an entourage. It is nice to be taken care of and also to ensure the satisfaction of my bunch. We are a close knit group who do everything together. We share fun times, trying times, we take pictures of monumental and important events. We keep each other on the straight and narrow. We always forgive each other for our bad moments. The put up my 'hormonal imbalances' and I with their toddler tantrums. We balance each other out. We can't live without each other. As the time passes, their jobs will evolve, as will mine. The next job on their list? To answer the phone and take messages for me. But for some reason, I have a suspicious feeling that I will have to take more messages for them as they plan their time off from the entourage. And then they will demand vacation pay. All's I'm sayin's all. PS February Who's DDM is written. I am having technical difficulties getting it posted. Stay tuned and check back.... Labels: DDM, EvieG, Fun, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Monday, February 2, 2009
Play amongst yourselves
We have been adding onto and reinforcing our fort. Complete with tunnel. It is tough work and sometimes a mom just needs a quick break.  Isn't that awesome? Hubby did most of it yesterday. We are squaring off and finishing the far wall. The weather is amazing today. The sky is cloudless and the sun is teasing us with its warm rays. It is Groundhog Day and that wee albino of a thing has of course predicted 6 more weeks of winter. What makes him the authority anyway? Who really listens to a white-rodent-of-a- groundhog who has two red, beady eyes that look bloodshot because he has been keeping himself warm all winter with a few hot toddies?  While EvieG and Spark Plug and I were working on the fort, I found myself distracted. This is not unusual for me. I went from reinforcing the fort to building my own snowy chaise-lounge. I took a break. I laid down in my recliner and for a few minutes tossed out thoughts of cleaning, laundry, dishes, meal preparation, sick kids, and snotty noses. I sat back and chilled. I let the sun hit my face, hoping it would release just a few freckles on my fair and pale complexion. I bet a little vitamin D would make me feel rejuvenated. It is nice to have a day that is not -15 degrees and forcing us to be holed up inside. Here I am, comfortably laying back in my snow chair. Thanks to EvieG who took the camera, aimed, and pressed the button. She did pretty well, considering the snow glare is pretty bright today. Although I don't drink beer during the week, and definitely not until after 4:30 pm, I thought it fitting that I start chilling one beside my snow chair for later.  EvieG said, "Mom! What are you doing? You have to work! We have to build the fort!" I said, "Just a second. I will be there in a minute. Just after I return from the Alps. Play amongst yourselves...." We got back to work and enjoyed playing amongst ourselves. A quick time-out is something that never fails to make you feel better. A little imagination, and you can go anywhere you want. And if there is going to be winter around here until Easter (because I know that wee albino didn't want to tell the whole truth), then we will make sure we maximize the perfection of days like this. All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: DDM, EvieG, Spark Plug
Friday, January 30, 2009
The case of the missing stuffed Doggy on Hubby's birthday
Doing anything that includes hauling the Wee Ladies around is always a chore. There's buckling, unbuckling, keeping together, keeping hands off merchandise, and it all takes forever. It is Hubby's birthday today and we had a list a mile long to get done in order to surprise him at work. Throw a missing Doggy into the mix and we have automatic panic and chaos. I got the Wee Ladies winter-dressed. I loaded them into the van. We proceeded to make a stop to get him new ski gloves. I only said, "Stay with Mom," a few hundred times as they ran around in and out of the Burton gear. The only mark we left were some fingerprints on the change room mirror. I threw them back into the van and headed for some caffeine relief. Oh, and some Timbits. I know. I caved. We continued to the balloon shop where we had a balloon bouquet made for Hubby. Upon our arrival The Destroyer leaned over and pressed the button to open the door on her side of the van. I quickly pressed it again from the other side of the van and pulled her out. We went into get the balloons and during our short, but chaotic stay, EvieG learned not to try and blow up balloons we hadn't ordered. So a balloon covered with 5 year old cooties was purchased using money from her money bank. The Destroyer tried to play with balloon sculptures that were waiting to be picked up. Wouldn't that have been fun if she had popped one of those? I placed the order and returned them all to the van so I could pay up and easily carry out the balloons without my entourage. We made one other stop before heading home for a snack. When we arrived home, I was unloading the Wee Ladies and noticed something potentially disastrous. The Destroyer's stuffed Doggy, which is her version of a security blanket was not in the van. I know she had taken it with her. I know I remember seeing her cuddling it. Where did it go? I searched the van high and low. Under the seats in the Timbit box. No Doggy. This was bad. So bad because I have no back up in case it should get lost. EvieG has Lovesy, one of those Ty Pluffies that she can't live without. She sticks her finger through the tag and sucks her thumb as she is falling asleep.  I bought 3 extras on eBay to keep just in case we lost them. And she has lost it once, so we are on number 2. Spark Plug has a chenille blanket she got from a good friend of mine when she was a baby. It comes from Toy R Us and she lives for this thing. She calls it her Kiki (pronounced kee kee). I made a special trip to Toys R Us to buy back up. I have 2 others. She sleeps with 2 and there is one still in the package. So if she ever loses the original, she has another already worked in. I have it all figured out.  But leave it to The Destroyer to have a dog with long legs and arms and a big, blue bow that she can't sleep without. There is no duplicate for this thing. And Doggy was confirmed to be officially lost. Crap. So I hurried them to finish their snacks and then piled them all into the van. Again. We drove like mad back to the balloon store. As I was pulling into my original parking spot, EvieG and I both spotted Doggy. Along with her hat. EvieG shouted, "Look! There's Doggy in the snow bank! And her hat! It didn't get stolen!" You can imagine the feeling of relief that came over me. I was seriously panicked over this. I didn't want The Destroyer to lose her true love. That would be a horrible loss for us all. Not only would she be devastated, but we would have to suffer her wrath. The screaming and stomping and crying would have been hard to deal with and no doubt would have led to more Timbits. I had already had a Plan B ready to execute if Doggy wasn't in the dirty brown, salt saturated snow. I was going to run to every store within a one block radius and ask store employees if anyone had been kind enough to bring a stuffed dog into their place of business. The whole town would for sure know me by then end of this caper. Thank goodness it didn't get to that. I gave Doggy back to The Destroyer. She squealed with excitement and gave her a tight hug. I felt like a true hero. And then she looked at me and held Doggy out towards me and said, "Yuck, foot!" You're kidding me. I just swooped in to save the day like a grand super human with x-ray vision and the thanks I get is a complaint that Doggy's feet are wet and dirty? I turned around with my knuckles clenched around the steering wheel and stared out in front of me. I put it in reverse and drove away in silence. No appreciation. And there will be worse eventually. I will have sat in front of the computer or on hold trying to get tickets to the coolest concert ever and I will end up with amazing seats, to which they will say, "You couldn't get us any closer?" And then I will say, "Well, if that isn't good enough for you, I will go with Auntie Lisa, Auntie Missy, and Nenny with Twins. Oh, and I will be sure to tell you all about our VIP access after we get home." Carrying on to Hubby's office with balloons, cupcakes, and a gift, I rallied the Wee Ladies together as we headed into his building. A lovely lady on the street helped me keep them all together. We went in to surprise Hubby. We were on-the-edge-of-our-seats-excited only to be told that he was not there. What?What?What? I told him this morning that he needed to be at the office over lunch and that I would bring his suit jacket to him! I even called his boss two days ago to get permission to bring my entourage to the office! He forgot and ended up having a meeting out of the office. We waited for a while and one of his colleagues graciously helped keep the Wee Ladies contained in one area. She gave them paper, markers, and even helped EvieG blow her nose. Amazing. We waited and waited some more. We left the gifts and went home. After all that work and drama, it ends like this? Yes, it ends just like that. In complete and utter disappointment. It is now time to make and eat cake. Happy birthday, Hubby! We love you even though you pulled a guy move and only listened to part of what I said! I know 'something came up' and you had a meeting and that's okay! We will forgive you! Over some double chocolate cake. Don't forget EvieG wants a cupcake! All's I'm sayin's all. PS Have a fun weekend! Thanks for reading! Labels: Battle, Chores, DDM, Drama, EvieG, Hubby, Nenny with Twins, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I need some wips
It's not like I have an extensive collection of make up and product. I have some brushes to apply some eye shadow, cheek colour, and mascara. The eye shadow has probably long expired, just like my lip glosses. It doesn't matter to the Wee Ladies. They gravitate to the product. Especially Spark Plug. And she will come to me when she feels she needs a little colour or a pick-me-up and demand, "I need some wips." She looks at me with her big, blue eyes and puckers her lips. "I need wips, Momma." Translation: I need some lips. I would like some lipstick, gloss, and I might even tolerate Vaseline. Anything. Put it on my face so I can prance around like a Disney princess. When we were moving in and getting settled, I noticed Spark Plug had disappeared. It was too quiet. I went upstairs to locate her. I went into the bathroom and saw red everywhere. She had found my make up bag and of course, the bright red lipstick that I bought for a Halloween party. She had it all over her mouth, cheeks, and forehead. The best part was that she had kissed the mirror. Twice. So among all the mirror smudge, were two adorable kissy marks. She loves make up and product. She looks in the mirror. She lives in her princess nighties. She wants her hair in piggy tails. She is a girly girl. And I am not. This is in her. I don't make a big deal about making sure my make up is applied perfectly and I sure as hell don't blow dry my hair. I get up, do the basics, and go. Her girly nature baffles me. I have Vaseline in every room. She picks at her lips when they are not plump and moist. Throughout the day she will ask for some wips. Once I lather her up in petroleum jelly, she puckers, rubs her lips together, looks at me, and then cocks her head to the side and bats her eyes at me. Yes, darling, you are a vision. This is rubbing off onto my rough and tumble tomboy. The Destroyer is now becoming interested in hair accessories and my make up bag. Yesterday I caught her sucking on my eyebrow brush. And if she is standing nearby Spark Plug's Vaseline application, she either tries to stick her fingers in the jar, or she points to her mouth wanting some wips too. When I move in to put some on her, she opens her mouth wide so instead of moistening her lips, she gets a mouthful of the greasy stuff. I have found her sitting on the bathroom counter with Vaseline all through her hair and on her face as she tried to lube herself up. It took about a week to de-grease all the places she touched. EvieG could care less about wips. I tried to put a chap stick in her pocket to take to school. She never uses it. She would walk around with cracked, dry lips and never complain. I have to make sure she has some on when it is cold and dry. So far Spark Plug has not asked for any wips today. It is just a matter of time. I have to make sure my product is properly put away, otherwise they will get into it. Just like they did with the President's Choice Decadent chocolate chip cookies this morning. All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: DDM, EvieG, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Grappling to win
We have entered a new phase with Spark Plug. This phase requires strategic thinking and physical strength. It is a chore and a battle to get Spark Plug dressed anymore. Lately Spark Plug has been overly obsessed with her nighties. Her pink one with the Disney Princesses in their Paris Hilton poses, her blue one with Dora and Boots smiling awkwardly, and her mint green nightie with Tinkerbell glancing with flirty eyes. It is the flirty eyes that Spark Plug uses to get what she wants, especially from Hubby. She bats her eyelashes and delivers a perfect toothless smile. I should get her an agent. She wants to be in these nighties everyday, all day. And to try and get her dressed takes as long as it did to get all three Wee Ladies decked out in their winter gear this morning. EveiG was almost late for school. I get out her clothes and tell her to come and get dressed. She throws a conniption and painfully shouts, "NO!" at the top of her lungs, like I am ripping her toe off or something. Or taking her new FurReal cat Rosie complete with carrying case away from her. I grab her after chasing her through every room and pin her down on the bed. She is half laughing and half crying. She wants to make it a game, and really for the record it is. She tries her hardest to win the battle of the nightie. I sit on top of her while trying to get her shirt on. She kicks and squirms and wiggles the entire time looking for a way to escape my grip. I place a forearm across her stomach and hold her wrists with my hand as I attempt the pants. Still writhing about she turns onto her tummy and I pull her pants on. Next comes the sweater. I wrap my legs around her to hold her still as I pull one arm through the sleeves at a time. I have even put her in a Nelson, like a cop would do. Obviously this is gentle and we for the most part giggle our way through this grappling match. I can't get too upset when this is her way of playing. I always come out the winner, even if I have lost the grapple and then try Strategy B, which is to take away Rosie or her princess shoes. I have also been known to pull out Strategy C too. That is where I throw down her clothes and then say good-bye, all while walking myself to the door to get my coat on. Then she freaks out and we get her dressed without incident. Our day moves on and we go where we need to. We end up accomplishing what we set out to do. I have just run my errands and burned many calories from my grappling match and Spark Plug comes back though the front door and strips down to her underwear. She then marches up to her room and pulls out her Princess nightie and pulls it over her head. She prances back in forth in front of me like a dressage horse and looks at me with her flirty eyes and a solid expression of satisfaction. She thinks she has won. Maybe she has. I am still the grappling master. All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Battle, Chores, Spark Plug
Friday, December 19, 2008
Spark Plug is like a crow....and a future reality TV star
Spark Plug should fly around the house flapping her arms and squawking, "Caaawww, caaawwww!" Because she is like a crow. And she sneaks and eats what is not hers. She swoops in when no one is watching and rips things open and apart completely. She pecks at it until she gets what she wants. She is subtle in this process. She does this quietly and unsuspectingly. And finally, when she is properly satisfied, she flies away and moves onto the next best thing. Spark Plug was a crow in fine form this morning. While The Destroyer and I went out to buy baking supplies and then visit the doctor for her immunization, Hubby was shoveling the front walkway. We are being pelted with snow right now. EvieG was outside with him and Spark Plug was in the house. He was popping his head in every couple of minutes to make sure she was not burning the place down. He made contact with her, but from what I can gather, it was only auditory contact. I do not think that there were any physical sightings of Spark Plug. She clearly responded to him and wasn't far away. But it is what she was doing that Hubby did not catch. Exhibit A: The Demise of the Advent Calendar  As you can see the blue part that holds the chocolate is empty. It is only the 19th today. This means that 6 sweets have gone missing. All while Hubby was shoveling. She must have pushed the ottoman over to the shelf, taken the calendar down, and torn it apart while consuming today's and all other remaining chocolates. Even the big 24th treat. EvieG was pissed.
The Advent Cycle has been destroyed. Exhibit B: The Crow-Like Evidence Up Close  You can see the large empty window. That was the 24th. Below it is where Spark Plug tore it apart. What I find fascinating is that either she is MENSA and counted from 19 to 24, or she just found all the closed windows and in no particular order pulled it all apart. Without any assistance, she took the wrappers off and ate every last chocolate. And in her words, she declares proudly, "I ate it all by a-self." Well done, sweetie. Well done. I am happy to see that you can be resourceful and that you can go after what you want. That shows real initiative. It's like survival of the fittest. Spark Plug finds the sustenance and consumes it alone. She thinks of no one but herself and her own well-being. EvieG comes in and throws a rangy, complaining how inconsiderate she was. She then proceeds to show her own survival skills by heading over to the Christmas tree to take and eat a candy cane. She can take care of herself. It is The Destroyer who has a problem. Being the baby, she depends on her elders. She sits on top of the empty advent calendar, pining away at it like a lost puppy, whining, "Suck-e-air, suck-e-ah!" She keeps it up until someone gives in and hands a cookie her way. She could not survive on her own. Spark Plug would for sure kick some serious reality TV butt. She would definitely make it to the finals. Spark Plug, aka, The Crow- future reality TV star. All's I'm sayin's all. PS Have a fun weekend! We are going to play in the snow. Labels: Spark Plug
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I'm breaking a sweat just looking at it
I am procrastinating. And the pile gets bigger and bigger by the day. I speak of laundry. With three Wee Ladies, Hubby, our Wee Westie Basil, and myself, some days the laundry is never-ending. Today is one of those days. We have our laundry area upstairs which is very convenient. It is about three steps from our bedroom, so it is very easy. I pile the dirty clothes in the hall in front of the machines (in the basket when people come over), and then pile it up on our bed to be folded. No laundry baskets or lugging for me. It is nice. Right now the pile is growing in area and in height.  This pile is almost as tall as the headboard. There are towels, sheets, and clothes of all sorts in here. We had an accident that led to the bedding being washed-again, for the second time in a few days. The blankets had to all be washed too. They are hanging to dry right now.  This is our laundry area. You see the blankets on the bi-folds, the pile of dirty clothes at the bottom left, and the sexy beige bra that is a guaranteed turn-on. What you don't see is the floor mat from in front of the sliding door in the kitchen and the drapes that were barfed on by the dog. I am telling you, it is one load after another and it can easily be argued that one can break a sweat during the laundering process. I am making it worse for myself too, as I leave the to-be-folded pile to get larger and larger. I make more work this way. And when do I find time to fold it? I wait until before bed time, when the Wee Ladies settle in to watch TV in our bed. Spark Plug gets ticked off as she snuggles in and then complains that she can't see over the pile of fabrics in front of her. So I throw a few cloths her way and tell her to help me. EvieG, Spark Plug, and I fold the laundry together. They do all the towels and cloths and I do the rest. It is such a nice family activity! And then The Destroyer enters the scene and tosses all of the newly folded piles across the bed. I then break another sweat as I look at the strewn about clothes and think about re-folding. Then I gather it all up, throw it in a clean-laundry pile on the floor, and wait for a better day to tackle it. I usually wait until the day when the underwear are all gone. All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Chores, DDM, EvieG, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Advent Cycle
I am so glad we have three different advent calendars. We have the Lindt chocolate one, a Christmas tree where you add an ornament each day, and a snowman where you move the snowflake each day. The Wee Ladies are far too young to have the patience for just one calendar, as I learned when I tried to use just the Lindt calendar.  I love the real chocolate advent calendars. I am not a fan of the ones with the thin, flimsy chocolates that taste like plastic. I refused to get three separate chocolate calendars. They can get pretty pricey. I wanted to teach the Wee Ladies patience and perseverance as they had to wait their turn for their calendar day. There are 24 days on it which is perfect, each getting 8 chocolates. I quickly learned that a 1 and 2 year old cannot grasp the concept of, "I am sorry, honey, but today is not your day. You must wait for another day." Foot stomping, crying, whining, reaching for the sweet, lay on the floor and kicking about was the result of my attempt at turn taking. What did I do? We have 2 other advent calendars. EvieG found them downstairs and hauled them out. We now have the Christmas tree calendar and snowman for the Wee Ladies. This way each one gets a turn everyday and they rotate from calendar to calendar. This is working much better, although they still want the chocolate calendar everyday. There was one other issue with the chocolate advent calendar. Do they get the chocolate as soon as they open the window, or do we follow the house policy of, no sweets until after lunch? I tried sticking to the rule, and I just barely made it out alive after suffering the wrath of the vulture-like antics of Spark Plug and The Destroyer. It was like this was our only source of sustenance. They were reaching and hollering at me, waiting for their ration, behaving like they were never going to eat again. I then figured what the heck, just give it to them. It is only a few days. And it is more fun anyway to have a special sweet first thing in the morning. At 7:45 am. We just have to make sure their teeth get properly brushed. Again. Spark Plug and The Destroyer are like Gargamel and Azrael.  They communicate with similar sounds and laughs. They plot and scheme together to win. Once I gave in and allowed them to eat the chocolate upon opening the day's window, it was like they started cackling. With widened bloodshot eyes, they got all hunched over like snickering evil schemers, put their fingers to their mouths, and their lips split as they stare into the sky saying, "We won! We won! 2 against 1! It doesn't work this easily with a village of Smurfs! Ha! Ha! Ha! We did it!" Every morning it is the first thing they go for. And so I roll with it. They still learn patience and perseverance as they go through the advent cycle, waiting for their day to open the chocolate window. This way we keep them occupied each day and lessen the crankiness of not participating. It works. I do not want a battle every day in December. And I want it to be fun for them. I want them to be excited for the advent calendars. Three Wee Ladies and three different calendars= minimized squawking. Will the advent cycle at all resemble the menstrual cycle? All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Battle, EvieG, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
We Can Settle This Without the Parking Lot
It has begun. The pestering, the following, the poking. The sibling rivalry. The Wee Ladies are having moments already where they grate on each other's nerves. With this comes the whining and complaining. And Hubby and I have moments of great sighs and eye rolling. We remind ourselves that the Wee Ladies are 5, 2, and 1. It is just the beginning. As I watch them tease and aggravate one another, I think back to my middle childhood. Uncle Jeff and I had a tumultuous relationship at times. I remember our little spats and our all out battles. We would reconcile. Temporarily. And then something else would trigger the next skirmish, or someone would cross the line and it would start all over again. For the record, we do not do this anymore. We are beyond that now. We get along famously and are in contact a couple times a week. I am 33. He is 35. It took a while, but we did it. I just have a couple more decades until there is solid peace in our household.... I remember my brother sitting beside me on the couch while we were watching TV. He would reach his index finger over to my face. He would keep it there steady and still. And then he would say softly, "I'm not touching you!" He would pause. And then a few seconds later, "I'm not touching you!" He would repeat this a few times until I either freaked out on him or became the victim of a wet willy, where my ear would be covered in his saliva. And then I would freak out on him. This was by far one the most annoying annoyances about my big brother. These silly games. The Wee Ladies are playing these silly games, but in the toddler version. Spark Plug will be laying on the floor and The Destroyer, a whole one year younger, will come and stand over top of her, looking down on her in silence. She stands like a statue. And Spark Plug gets completely irritated and freaks out. The Destroyer continues to pester in silence. It usually requires my splitting them up. The Destroyer is sometimes a bother to her sisters, no doubt. Her mere presence can send Spark Plug over the edge. She is very physical and pushes her weight around easily. She will body slam, push, and even run herself into a wall if she doesn't get what she wants. She can be quite aggressive. And we watch her over the top reactions and follow up with some good, old fashioned discipline. Already she knows how to push the buttons of her older sisters. And she sometimes instigates conflict. She is trying to establish her place within the birth order. She is succeeding too. Her sisters are quickly learning not to mess with her. Sibling rivalry is inevitable. I recognize this. I do not like watching them go at each other already but it is interesting to see how each one deals with the conflict. It makes me think that they will for sure need their own space as they get older. Even if it means a trip to Grandma's by themselves. Uncle Jeff is coming for Christmas. We can't wait to see him. During his stay, the Wee Ladies are guaranteed to learn something new and borderline inappropriate. His gifts are always the noisy, annoying toys that make you want to go insane. I wonder what surprises and lessons are in store for this year? As Uncle Jeff and I sit side by side at the table and play our annual board game battle of Risk, I will make sure I border his countries with my armies and say, "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" And then maybe as I take over the world, I will attack him with a wet willy. Just for old times sake. All's I'm sayin's all. Labels: Battle, Spark Plug, The Destroyer
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